Well, I think we made up our minds...

it breaks my heart, but I think we made up our minds about taking Big M. We're going to leave him where he is. I just feel that with the way he dotes over Baby D and so forth and the way he comes to his parent's defense over anything and everything, I can't take a chance that he'd make any false allegations about anything. He was trying to tell me at the visit when I went to pick up Baby D and Little J that D could barely walk and that if you pushed on his stomach that it hurt. I can't for the life of me figure out why they were pushing on his stomach...of course he's going to say that hurts. But, he was also walking around just fine. I let my caseworker know that he was welcome down here anytime to visit...but that I think I'm just more comfortable leaving him where he's at. I also feel that he deserves the chance to be a kid and I think he needs to stay separate from his sibling to do that. He comes down here and all he does is carry D around and dote all over him. He tries to tell me when he needs his diapers changes and all that and I told my caseworker that I just don't feel that I should have to answer to an 11 year old or have to explain what I'm doing and why. It makes me sad, but I know he lives close enough to us so that he can come down whenever he wants.

I also let the intake coordinator know that I really wanted an infant after the first of the year. I'd love an itty bitty, but we'll see what happens. Andy thinks I'm crazy....but he said as long as I felt up to it he'd be ok with it. We had our foster parents association Christmas party today and I saw so many itty bitties. My heart broke from a wee little baby boy that was dressed in a Santa suit. He looked so little that I had to ask how old he was. He was only 3 weeks, but he looked so little. She said he was a coke baby and only weighed 3 lbs and 2 oz when he was born. He's having tremors from the withdrawals. My heart broke for him and I would love to give a baby like that a very good home.