My First Crush

I had a huge crush on a boy that was 2 years younger than me. I met him when I was in 5th grade and he went to our church. He is the oldest of 9 children. Anyway, I had it bad for this boy and his family totally fascinated me. We grew up together and we both were raised pretty strictly. He wasn't allowed to date at all until he turned 16. So, we just talked and so forth at church. Well, when I was in 6th grade I took to writing a little fictional story about how I wanted our relationship to go and my relationship with his sisters and so forth. I called it Lovers Lane (I was big into Anne of Green Gables back then). Well, it was totally innocent (hey we were both in Catholic families and we were raised well), however my best friend at the time confiscated it so she could read it and I didn't know that she brought it to school. She announced that I had written a love story and people were fighting to get their hands on it...the teacher took the papers and I never got them back. I was horrified!

Well, my crush on him continued however I had other crushes too throughout the years. In 11th grade, my family moved to the same city that he lived in and we wound up going to school together. He lived in the same neighborhood that we did and we rode the bus home together all the time. We sat together a lot. I started dating someone in my senior year of high school and his sisters always used to tell me that they didn't know if they liked that or not "they had to make sure he was good enough for me." It was cute. He started dating a cheerleader (he was a football player) and I was dating someone from our high school band. They dated for a couple of months and then broke up, but I was so jealous of her. Do you think I ever spoke up for my feelings and told him how I felt? Nope...we just went on being friends. We teased each other relentlessly about things at school and we talked in the confession line at church. We'd stare at one another in church (he was an altar boy), but I never told him how I felt about him. I went to college and when I didn't have to work I'd come to church. We'd talk and so forth and I'd talk to his sisters and say hi to his parents. When he went away to college, I remember feeling heartbroken. I told him if he wrote me with his address, I'd write to him. I kept up with him through his sisters and I told them that I'd write to him if he ever wrote me with his address. His sister said "him, write a letter? ha ha!" Shortly therafter, I met up with Andy again and the rest is history. When we moved back to MI, I went back to our church alone. I wanted to see their family. I stood in the back of the little church just looking at everything (they had since moved the church and I had never been there to the new building). His Mom saw me and greeted me with open arms and took me around to re-introduce me to everyone. And when I saw him, my heart leapt. We had catechism after mass and I walked downstairs with one of his little sisters (who now wasn't so little) and she told me that they all had missed me. It was neat to catch up with them and see how big they had all gotten and what they were all up to. The elder sister (just a year or so younger than her brother) had gotten married and had her first baby. We chatted for awhile and then he came and sat down by all of us too. He asked me where I had been and when I told him that I had moved to Chicago and had gotten married, he got really quiet. His Mom told me how she always thought that I would be a daughter to her one day and one of his sisters told me that he really had liked me and they thought we would have gotten married one day. Well, if I only would have known that sooner...you never know what would/could have happened. Anyway, it was nice to catch up with them. I went home and told Andy that I wanted him to come with me the next Sunday. So, the following Sunday he reluctantly agreed to come with me (I forgot to mention that I was raised in the traditional Latin mass once we converted to Catholicism and Andy just wasn't sure with how comfortable he'd be there). Andy hated it and he just wasn't comfortable there. He went one more time with me after that and he told me that their rules were so strict and so forth that he just couldn't go there...he didn't feel like it fit him at all. We stayed after to talk with a couple other families and so forth and he wanted to go home. So, we left. I returned a few weeks later alone...I felt at home there...but I knew that I needed to find a church where Andy felt comfortable. We never did find a church home in MI. I was able to say good-bye to him though and his family and I still send them a Christmas card at Christmas time and I truly hope the best for him.

Everyonce in awhile, I think of re-writing that book (I maybe had a chapter or two written before)and seeing about having it published. But, I just don't know...maybe one day. He was definitely my first crush though and it lasted a very long time. I still think about him and I hear how he's doing through the grapevines. He'll always hold a very special place in my heart...his whole family will actually. Beautiful family and beautiful people and they all have true hearts for God.