Friday, May 04, 2012

God speaks...

I really have been struggling with so many things...the kids' behaviors, the no privacy factor with my Mother-in-Law living with us, the kids acting up more when she is around, this thing with my leg, I've been feeling burned out and just down about a lot of things. Andy and I have really become like roommates and I hate it, Deidra's attitude has gotten really horrible, Josiah's been out-of-control with anger and temper tantrums, and this "I don't want to" attitude and everything sets him off...the other day it was not getting a napkin first at the table...him not being first out the door, him not being first on the bus...him not eating something that someone else has...or he thinks someone else has more...him not getting his own way...not wanting to take his pills, not wanting to go to his room...he wears me down. Emma's gotten this horrible mouth on her lately and Tracie has been very disobedient lately as well. I'm just one worn down Mommy. Anyway, I've been praying for so many things this week and I love how God has spoken to me. Sunday, he talked to me about having faith like the mustard seed and he also told me that some things also require more prayer and fasting. I believe he was honestly telling me there to fast for Josiah and that I need to give everything to him in prayer no matter how small or how great...just give Him everything. Monday, He talked to me about always accepting His little children and to have a willing heart. Tuesday, He talked to me about being a good wife and about my marriage and that I needed God's help to be everything that He wanted me to be. I also asked for a huge increase in faith. I also asked God for heart-change for Josiah. Wednesday, I was having more struggles with Josiah in the morning and how he wants to be "first" for everything. God brought me a scripture from Matthew 20 that said "And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life like a ransom for many." So now, we had a talk and I told him that anytime we have a power struggle over being fist, he will get to do something for someone else...more than likely the person that he pushed or hit out of the line or whatever. And I'm hoping this will help to change his heart there too. Thursday, he talked to be about being a house of prayer and if we just believe and have faith, that we will receive. That one truly spoke to me as well. I need to quit being so caught up in everything and just trust that God knows what's going on, He wants us to bring it to Him, and trust that He will take care of it all in His timing and that He will make everything good. This morning, He talked to me about the fact that many are called but few are chosen and that He wants us to love the Lord with all our hearts, souls, and minds and that we are also called to love our neighbors just as we do ourselves. I have a lot to do in my love walk and in my prayer life. But, I love that God is talking to my heart and that I can give all my worries, fears, joy, and my everything to Him, and that He knows what is best for me and my family and He will take care of us. What an awesome God we serve!

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