Disappointed and Stressing

Hi Abba. I just needed to get some things off my chest so thought I'd come to you to vent. I honestly don't know if I'm suffering from depression a little bit or if my thyroid is off again. I work from 7-4...come home and eat dinner...and then I go to bed at 8 and get up the next morning at 5:30 to leave the house at 6. I have no energy to do anything. I'm getting increasingly stressed. I honestly thought Andy was going to get this job and that we could finally move out within a few months. I so desperately want to be in a place that we can call our own. That we can live by our own rules and do our own thing and not have to worry about anyone else. Yet, we don't have money to pay for rent for an apartment as that money has to go on the bills. Andy told me if we can just get a few things paid off in the next few months that we'd maybe be able to do it then, but he really would rather be debt free before we do that so that we can get the land and the house that we really want. I don't want to be here that long. There's so many things that we want to do and it all comes down to the fact that money is stopping us. I sat down and cried the other night to Andy...I can't see another person do something that we have wanted for so long now and just get it handed to them. I feel like we're stuck...I feel like we can't ever catch a break. I don't know if it's the weather getting to me, if my thyroid meds are off and need to be readjusted, or if it's honestly some depression...or if it's everything all rolled into one. I'm so tired of waiting...it seems like that's all we've been doing the last couple of years. When do we get a break? I'm sorry for being a downer. I just had to get it out. I know that I have to keep the faith and continue to put things into Your Hands. I'm sorry for being impatient. I'm just having a hard time. I want to be in our own house again, I want to have another baby. I see others deciding to do this stuff after we decided that's what we wanted to do and they're doing it and we aren't. I know I'm getting jealous and that isn't right. I'm just having a hard time being patient.

Jess