Worst Mommy and Wife in the World

Hi Abba. Help me to feel better. You know I always get bad in the winter months...I get moody and crabby and I start feeling sorry for myself. Andy and I argued all day yesterday because I just needed extra things from him and he couldn't give them to me and I just sat and cried. I don't know why he always gets to where he doesn't show me any affection and he always has an excuse which leads me to start wondering "What's wrong with me and does he not love me all that much anymore?" He says we lead too busy of lives. But, you can make time to do the things you need to do so why can't he set aside some time for me. Just a simple hug and a kiss would be nice sometimes and now he's getting to where he barely tells me that he loves me rather than just once or twice a week and that's started to bother me. He tells me I'm supposed to know that he does and that he'd never stop and that if I need these daily affirmations that he still loves me that I have problems. Is it really my problem or do women just need to be told and shown these things more than men do? I don't know what to think anymore. We argued about it all day long and now he says he'll try and do better and that things are obviously his fault too. I mean I know that he loves me and I know that are marriage is actually going quite well at the moment, so it's stupid for me to go on and on about all this, but it would be nice to be shown the little things sometimes to know that I'm on his mind and whatnot.

Deidra was extra crabby yesterday and I had put her in her room for a time out, she got very lippy with me and I went into her room and told her to calm down and that she wasn't talking to me like that. I went to smack her on the side of the face (I don't do it hard, but it gets her to understand that she isn't to talk like that). She jerked her head to the side really fast, hit her head on the side of the wall and got a bloody nose. Then, I felt guilty...I sat on the toilet seat with her and we both cried our hearts out. I told Andy that I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better for me to go on meds in the winters. Then, I get to thinking about the adoptions if we do them and I don't want it held over my head if I have to go on anti-depressants so I make myself weather through it. But, I feel like the worst wife and mommy in the world right now. Andy told me that she also needs to know that she can't behave certain ways and that it wasn't my fault that she got the bloody nose, it just happened. And I know that deep down, but my emotions got the best of me too and I feel guilty. Help me start feeling better.