Thursday, July 19, 2007

Whatever happened to giving someone unconditional love?

I was talking to a friend last week and she was having a fight with her husband of 12 years. I won't go into detail about anything that they were fighting about, but he was upset with her over something she wouldn't do for him and she was giving me all the reasons that she wouldn't (she feels like a single parent with their children because he doesn't help her). I told her that she can't expect him to read her mind and that she needed to communicate her feelings to him. When she communicates these things to him, he does a lot better (pattern of their relationship)....she's tired of always having to tell him and feels that he should know by now what she needs from him. To a certain point I agree...but I know Andy doesn't always remember what my needs are and there are certain times that we'll have to talk and I have to remind him. I'd rather remind him and have things go better than to think he outta know something and then we wind up fighting about it over and over. Anyway, maybe they have other issues I'm not aware of...but she said that now she's really thinking about leaving her husband over it.

Then, I got to talking to another friend yesterday and her hubby was threatening her with "if you don't start doing these things that you're not comfortable doing, it's going to be a breaking point for me" and their marriage will then be over. There's more to it than that, but it's not my story to tell. The more and more that I think the way he told her these things and some other things that were going on, the more and more it angers me and I hurt for her.

Whatever happened to giving someone your unconditional love? A marriage is compromising, loving, and giving to the other person so that they feel that love. Why do people in today's society have to be so selfish in their feelings? If you don't do this for me, I'm leaving you.... Why not try to talk it out and reach a compromise...and I'm sorry but if someone is not comfortable doing certain things...they should not be forced into doing them...but why do people set conditions on their marriage? My Mom and Dad always taught me when I was growing up that you didn't mention the divorce word in your house and you certainly didn't threaten to divorce someone over something or that's when your mind started gearing up to actually do it and it would happen. And that's exactly what happened when my Dad threatened my Mom with something and mentioned divorce...a year or so after that he had it's something he wishes he had never done....

But, whatever happened to giving someone that unconditional love them in the good, bad, and everything in between and you love them no matter what...wait...we even say this in our marriage vows. I guess I just hate how prevalent divorce is in our society. We give our children our unconditional love so why can't we give that to our spouses?

Abba, I lift the marriages that our suffering up to you today and I pray that you will give them healing and that you will restore unconditional love in them throughout the whole world.

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