Tired of being judged...

by people who I think would be on my side. My Mom had e-mailed me yesterday to let me know that it was the feast day of the Immaculate Conception and that it was a holy day of obligation. She said mass was at 12 and at 7 pm. Well, Baby T had speech at noon and we have therapy in Dallas after school and with traffic we didn't make it back on time. I've still been feeling pretty miserable...sick with some allergy/cold stuff this weekend that carried over, and tired and nauseated from being pregnant. So, I just decided to turn on EWTN before I took Little E to school and we watched mass and said a rosary. I told MOm that we weren't making mass because of what was going on. She told me "sorry, but that doesn't count." I instantly got tears in my eyes. I get so hurt by my family sometimes. I feel like saying "why don't you come walk in my shoes for a week and deal with all that I have going on, all the things that get dumped on me to deal with, the last minute stuff that comes up, and being tired and nauseated on top of it all?" I called Andy and vented and I sat down and it was like God told me "don't worry about it, give your feelings to Me, I know your heart and what your intentions are." I instantly felt better. The comment from my Mom still stings, but I know that only God can truly judge me and it's not like I blew off Mass just because I felt like doing something else more fun...I was taking care of my kids and my family. It brought me back to Father's sermon a couple weeks back...he was talking about how some have gone to confession saying that they are guilty of not praying enough and Father asked them waht they were doing...they said that they had this going on with their kids, trying to take care of the house, their husbands, sick family members and so on. He said that God understands this and that we just need to say little prayers throughout the day or make what we're doing our prayer to God. I knew that God understood my heart and I did make the effort to watch on tv and to make time for prayer with the kids. I also told her that our old priest had told me that if there was an honest reason that we couldn't make it to Mass and we made the effort to watch Mass on tv, that it still counted. She wrote me back and said "well the rules are changing all the time, we're told one thing at once and one thing at another, but who am I to argue with a priest?" I just feel like nobody truly understands how busy my weeks are and that I'm trying my best to get in everything that needs to be done, but God keeps telling me..."I know the intentions of your heart." So, I have to trust that I'm doing ok.