Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Whine ahead...

We went to bed just before midnight...the dog woke up whining this morning and scratching in her kennel and I asked Andy to go see if she had to go out to go to the bathroom. He let her out and she went and he got her settled back in her kennel and he came back up to bed. I asked him what time it was and he said it was almost 2:30. I tossed and turned trying to get back to bed, but couldn't get comfortable and I was hurting and so I got up for awhile. Around 4:30, I decided to try to get back to sleep only to toss and turn some more...Andy's alarm went off at 5. I fell asleep while he was in the shower and then he kept trying to get me out of bed. I felt sick to my stomach I was so exhausted and I hurt from head-to-toe. Shortly after 6:30, I came downstairs and the kids were all in full force...screaming, giggling, not wanting to listen, throwing fits. I had a short temper tantrum of my own and Andy left for work. I apologized to him afterwards, but I just don't think anyone truly gets how miserable I feel. I wish these littles would learn to listen and follow directions and that they didn't have to be so LOUD in the mornings and that they didn't need all the constant redirection that they do. I took Deidra to school and got a headache from how loud the littles were being and it seemed like the quieter I asked them to be, the louder they'd get just a few seconds later...I finally turned up the praise music and prayed for patience to get through this day. I'm no dummy...I realize that when Melina comes it's all going to get worse for awhile before it gets better, so I guess it's time to just realize that I'm going to be feeling like this for awhile. I just wish I knew how to teach them self-control. I realize having 2 with ADHD, that's hard for them...but it's the ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) that gets to me sometimes...they're not going to listen and are argumentative or that much more determined to do what they want to do. I try to be patience, but on days like today it's hard to be so tired and feeling the way I am and putting up with it all when it's non-stop some days that is very difficult. These are the days that I seem to pray constantly.

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