My brother, Zach

Abba, I put this situation with Zach into your Hands. I ask you to keep him safe and protected during this time in his life and I ask you to help him learn to be respectful and give him a sense of what his responsibilities are in life.

Well, I have had a bad feeling in my heart about my brother Zach for quite awhile now...all starting back a few months ago when I found his myspace page. He's very depressed and just getting himself into trouble. I knew that he was drinking and suspected that he was still doing drugs. Mom was in denial about it and just kept telling me that he said he wasn't doing that and she believed him. He enrolled back into school this year (he was supposed to graduate from high school in May) and he had been telling Mom that he had been going although he told her he had already missed all the days that he could miss. I asked her if she was sure he was going to school and that he wasn't already done and just not telling her. She had told him that she would help him get another car if he was enrolled in school and he's been hounding her about it left and right. Anyway, last week Thursday, she called the school to check on him and we were up there at the dealership picking up Andy's car. Turns out that Zach has never attended any school this year other than his first day (he got sent home for not observing dresscode) and they didn't even record attendance for any of the students that first day. Mom only knew that he was there as she had to go pick him up from school. But, that was the only day that he bothered to go. He's been lying to her ever since then saying for the last 6 weeks that he's been at school. He wrote her this demanding letter saying how he needed a car and he wanted another one within a month's time. He had to turn down playing with 2 bands and 1 job offer because he didn't have transportation and how disgusted he was at her as a mother for not helping him get on his feet and that was her responsibility. Anyway, then we find out that he's been lying to her about school and doing drugs....Mom found a smoke pipe in his room. She went home and confronted him and he told her that he had been to school, but he needed to see about getting his GED and when she confronted him about doing pot again, he didn't deny it. I felt sick to my stomach instantly the moment that I found out. I was so disappointed in him and I'm tired of seeing him hang around with these loser kids who are drop outs and are just not wanting to do anything with their lives but drink and do drugs and talk disrespectfully to their parents and others. Anyway, I wound up driving over to their house later that night as I wanted to talk to my brother. I told him how disappointed that I was and I told Mom that she needed to start being harder on him. He is going to be 19 in Jan and knows no sense of responsibility. He wants her to buy him a car (she already had bought him the one that he had been driving and had spent over $4k over the last few months repairing it from him being stupid and doing stupid things in it as well as giving him gas money after gas money after gas money from him running out of gas all the time). Then, he was driving the dumb thing around without insurance. I told him that he wants another car to get to a job he can find a cheap old clunker and if Mom pays for it, his paychecks need to get directly deposited into her bank account so that she knows that she is getting paid back and she can pay his insurance as well and then just write him a check for the difference. He doesn't want to do that. I told him that he's never paid back anyone anything that he said that he would including money that he stole from our other brother, Jimmie, and that if he wants the car then this is the way it should be. I also told him that I think he needs to get his GED by the time he was supposed to graduate this year and if he wasn't willing to do that, he needed to look at moving out. He is out all night long, sleeps all day, and does absolutely nothing around the house. He doesn't want anything to do with his family, unless he wants/needs something and I just think it's time that he learns responsibility the hard way. He got all mad at me and demanded that my Mom loan him her suburban so he could go to his friend's house....she told him no. If he wrecks her vehicle then she doesn't have a way to get back and forth to work. He told her that he wasn't going to be seen with her so she wasn't going to take him over there either. I told him that his attitude needed to change and he needed to learn some respect. He's 18 years old and he's not the parent and he doesn't get to make the rules or demand things. I told him that when I got my first car, I had to pay for half of it, I had to pay for my own gas and insurance, and there were no hand-outs from Mom and Dad. I didn't have gas money, I didn't go anywhere. I'm so sick of hearing him think that he's owed this or that. Life is rough sometimes kid...everything isn't just handed to you in life. I also told him that if he would have saved even half the money that he earned while he was working this summer that he could have bought the car that he wants in cash. But, he doesn't know how to save his money or spend it on worthwhile things. I kind of came down hard on my Mom too...I told her that she needed to quit enabling him to get away with being this way and she needed to practice tough love on him. If she doesn't the kid is going to get in a whole lot more trouble. Once again, she said that he had a really hard time with the divorce and she's felt that she owed this or that to him to make up for his Dad leaving. I told her that we all have shitty things happen to us in life...it doesn't mean that you get special treatment for the rest of your life. Things happen, you deal with them the best way that you can, and you choose to move forward. I made her cry and I felt awful for that. I just pray that he learns to be respectful and responsible and learn the proper way to achieve things in life.