Bummed...

Ever since the miscarriage back in October, I've toyed with the idea in my mind of finding another doctor who would let me go back on clomid (without all the monitoring) as the medicine is affordable, I just can't afford to pay out of pocket for all the monitoring. Anyway, someone on a local mom's list mentioned that clomid and glucophage were on Wal-mart's $5 list of perscriptions and really made me start thinking about it. Anyway, I decided to talk to Andy last night about trying with the clomid and glucophage as it worked for us back in MI to start ovulating and all. He informed me that with everything that we have going on here, he couldn't commit to that. He's worried about all the infertility treatments it took with Deidra and all the time and emotions that went into that. He just thought we were on a different path with fostering now. He told me if it happens naturally, he's fine with it. However, he doesn't think pushing the issue right now is the answer. At that point, I stopped the conversation and went to bed. I have to respect his wishes, what more can I do besides wait awhile and try again to talk to him about it. But, I'm pretty sad about it...yet in some ways I understand. Nobody that knows what I went through with Deidra, besides a couple of people, understand why I want this so badly again.

So, I go back to trying to lose more weight and hope that helps the conception process and I test monthly and if I find out I am pregnant, I'll go get my butt on some progesterone asap. I just never thought he'd say no.