Heavy Heart...

I've had a heavy heart this week. I can't wait until my hubby comes home this afternoon and I can snuggle up with him on the couch and just be. Our bathroom flooding has had me stressed...I have so much laundry and so forth to do because of trying to get the water sopped up (I used all the towels, blankets, and dirty clothes bins that I could find).

I went to see my Dad over at my Mom's on Tuesday night to come home from a good time to find that Baby J's mom has been moved up here in our region. She's still a bit far away, but she's back in the area. She's been talking about the open adoption since September and so I think I was starting to let myself think that was how it was going to go. Well, I can only think now that they're trying to get her regular visits and so forth now that she's going to try to get her act together now to get him back. I guess she's moving again today too. I really do like her and I love her baby boy and I definitely want what is best for him. I just worry...is she really going to be stable enough to take care of him the way he deserves to be. Is she going to really take care of his needs and be able to take care of him without neglecting what he needs from her? I just worry. I know no permanent decision has been made yet...but I just worry. Like my caseworker told me yesterday, all I can keep doing is praying that everyone involved makes the best decision for this baby boy and to keep praying that we're able to adopt him. I'm going to keep trying to put it all back in Your Hands, Abba. I know that only You knows what is truly best and I have to put my total trust in You, no matter what happens. You know how much we all love Baby J here and how much he loves all of us. You also know what is truly in his Mom's heart and I just pray that the best decision is made for him. My heart is truly heavy over it all and I know that I just have to hand it over to You each time I start feeling like this. I know this all can't be easy for his Mom either and so I pray that You will help her to make the best decision as well.