Criticism

Abba, how is it that I feel what you're leading us to do so deep in my heart? I've felt you talking to me so many times now on adoption and babies and children. I know in my heart that it's time to do this. Yet, Andy's side of the family is so criticial of the timing that we're chosing to do this. I keep telling myself too that they were criticial of me wanting to stay at home with Deidra too, but that's what we both feel is important. They've been more accepting since I have been back at work, but it's not really what we both want and we're both looking forward to the day that I can quit and be at home with her again. It just seems that ever since we have gotten married, his family has been so critical of us. They keep bringing up the timing of our adoptions as we live here. They keep talking to us about how Andy's Dad already works 3 jobs (it's really only 2) and how he doesn't get much sleep and they don't think that we understand the expense that a child really is. Andy's dad doesn't pay any of our bills, we pay them ourselves as we should. And last time I checked, we had a child of our own that we support 100% (again, as we should), so how is it that we don't understand the expense that is there? We don't plan on living here when the babies come home, we plan on moving out when we get our referrals, but as we receive these critical statements from family...on one hand we have to keep telling ourselves that as long as we're ok with the current plan and Andy's dad is ok with the current plan then that is all that truly matters, but to be honest with myself too Abba, it doesn't stop it from hurting to know that they're not truly behind us. I keep telling myself that in all reality because we can't afford a mortgage and to pay for the adoptions we just need a little help in making our dreams come true. It's the fees that we can't afford to pay for all upfront with a mortgage payment too...it's not caring for them once they're home. Why or why do I always feel the need to justify my ever action? Why or why is nothing we ever do good enough for them? I feel you leading us to this, Abba, so I know it is time soon for us to begin this process and I put it all in Your Hands. I love you, Abba, and I know that You don't want us to hurt and you want us to depend on you. I will try to take this criticism as best as I can and I will hand my hurts over to you. Hopefully the family will come around in the end...if not, I guess it is their loss.