Babies on the Brain

Hi Abba. I know that your timing is perfect. Lately, I don't know where to turn with my feelings. Last year, my two closest friends were both pregnant at the same time and I felt like I couldn't talk to them about my feelings without it hurting them at the same time. So, I put some distance there to protect myself. I so desperately want to have another baby...I'm tired of hearing people say that they understand how I feel. All that does is hurt more. I know that I'm terribly jealous and I'm trying so hard not to be. Then, we announced our plans to start the adoption process and our familes seemed to be so against the idea that we decided to stop the process and go back to infertility treatments. Now, we've had friends that I've watched bring their little ones home through the adoption process and I've been so happy for them, but yet at the same time it hurts a little too. We're still waiting....I want to bring home our little ones too.

Andy and I sat and talked about the path that we wanted to take now that we were in our own place and starting a new chapter in our lives. We're unsure of whether to start up infertility treatments again or whether to start up the adoption process. Please guide us to what we should do. Either process could take awhile. I know I need to be patient in waiting for our baby(ies), but I have wanted this for the last 5 1/2 years and we are both just getting impatient. Help us to know what to do and what path to take.

I know that we have the next little while to figure out what we're going to do as we still need to wait for Andy to find a job and for his benefits to kick in to find out if infertility treatments are definitely going to be covered or not. That will really be a determining factor too. Guide us, Abba, and please allow us to have our own little one within the next year or two. Deidra really wants to be a big sister too and I think she'd be a great one.