That "In Love" Feeling....

This blog entry is not meant to be judgmental of anyone...I just want to say that for the record. It's just my own personal feelings on the subject and I wish everyone the best. I understand that everyone has to do what is best for them.

Why oh why does this keep coming to my head over the past couple of weeks. I've had multiple conversations about this. Abba, I came to learn during my own rough time in marriage that the "in love" feeling is really a myth. To me, love isn't a feeling but more of an action word and when I was really trying to figure that out to see if that was true I reread the passage that we had read at our wedding from 1 Corinthians. I'll post it at the bottom of this post as a reminder to myself as it's a verse I've really tried to stay on path with. I see so many people over the past few years walk away from their marriages, including my father, because they claimed that they lost the "in love" feeling with their spouse and they were in love with someone else. I felt that way 2 years ago and it was a very rough spot, but I'm so glad that I chose to stay in my marriage and not walk away. We are in a much better spot now and I'm learning that yes there are times that I'm madly in love with my husband, there are times that I feel not so in tune with him, and there are times I've been upset with him or wanted things from him that he couldn't give me at the time. That "in love" feeling comes and goes, but it's sticking around and still trying and doing things for each other that to me is really showing someone that you love them.

It breaks my heart to see people divorce...it's something that I honestly don't think is right, although I don't judge others for doing so. I never knew anyone that was divorced until I met Andy and found out that his parents were divorced. I could never understand some of the feelings that Andy had about the whole thing and thought he was wrong for feeling that way. Then shortly after we married ourselves, my father left my mother. I've seen the damage that divorce caused in our family and there's still a lot of pain with all of us almost 5 years later over it. It's something now my father said never should have happened and deep down my mother says she still loves him, but she could never trust him again to marry him again. What that told me too was that being "in love" fades sometimes but if you just stick it out it'll come back. Yes, my Dad did some horrible things to my mother before he chose to leave her and I think he was feeling like he wasn't worthy of her and he felt horrible guilt and felt he needed to leave and that he couldn't come back and that was a lot of it too. But, we all wish now that they would have worked through it so none of this would have ever happened. I wonder sometimes what our family would be like if they were still together...this hurt on all of us has been hard to work through.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this, but it kills me to see people leave their marriages because they claim that they're no longer "in love" with their husband, but they fell "in love" with someone else. The thing that I wonder is how long is that "in love" feeling going to last with someone new before you feel like something is wrong again if you don't realize that that feeling fades in and out.

It's just something that breaks my heart...I don't judge people for divorce....they have to do what they feel is right for them. It's just something that I felt that I needed to blog about and say a prayer that everyone can come to understand what love truly is. Abba, help open people's eyes to what loving someone truly is and help people stay together once they marry and take their vows before You. Help them remember why they married that person for the rest of their lives and help them keep their vows.

To me this chapter in 1 Corinthians is what love truly is...

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].