So tired...

I went to bed around 9:30 last night and got up around 6:45 this morning. I woke up with a sinus headache. I wish I could go back to bed. Baby J has been on the aggressive side lately (mainly towards the end of the week and it's mainly toward me, so I think he's mad at me and the only thing that I can think of is that he's seeing his Mom now and I'm not there with him when he sees her like I was before). The caseworker said that it's entirely possible. But, he's majorly trying to test me when I tell him no about things too, so he's been in time out a lot lately. It kills me to have to keep putting him in there, but he's got to know that he has to listen and respect me. All day yesterday, he'd get mad at knock stuff over. I put him in his room as he kept knocking our dining room chairs over when he was mad and I didn't want anyone getting hurt. I heard a big crash coming from his room and he had knocked over the changing table. So, I went up and pulled that out into the hallway and put him back in his bed. He started kicking the door and when I went up there he was literally hanging from the doorknob screaming "No, Mommy, No." When I went in to put him back to bed and tell him to calm down he scratched me in the face and all up and down my arms. I'm trying to teach him that he can only do "soft hands" but man oh man, does this child have a temper. He's got so much upper body strength too...everyone is so surprised by that when they see him do some of the things he does and he just turned 2. Ever since Little J started talking about how they're going home, Baby D has had crying episodes and has been defiant with me too. I didn't put two and two together until the caseworker asked me if Little J had been talking about it around him. But, this all started around that time, so that really may be what it is. These are first placements that I've had for quite some time that are going home, so I guess I'm not used to what some of their behaviors can be. I know Little J is torn as she talks to me about it...on one hand she wants to go home and be back with her parents and on the other hand she's so scared that we're going to forget her or that she won't ever see us again. It's hard to know what's really going to happen. I told her I'd give her my cell phone number so she can call me from time to time if she wants to and her parents will let her (although I don't really think they'll let her). But, we'll see.

I really need to get their scrapbooks caught up. I need to have them done by the 20th to ensure that I can get them printed and back in the mail to put into their books by the time they go home on the 30th.

I think I'm going to go try and take another tylenol and see if that helps my headache and try to do some stuff with Baby D for a bit while Baby J naps (he fell asleep after his tantrum).