I think I figured out some things...

I told Andy that I think I finally figured out some things that I need to do for me. I told him that I'm really beginning to resent therapy. The girls have 2 hours of speech therapy every Monday and Tuesday in the morning. All the kids (minus Deidra) have occupational therapy every Monday for 3 hours. The problem that I keep running into is that I have to change my plans because they cancel at the last minute or they want to change days. Granted, I'm guilty sometimes too of needing to change the days. But, it makes it hard to plan a week when they do this as then they have therapy on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. The girls visits are on Thursdays and then they go to Mother's Day Out on Fridays. I told Andy that it's hard to have a social life when things keep getting mixed up. I told him that I was going to talk to the caseworker and tell her that I was going to have a schedule and if for some reason they couldn't do therapy on those days, I'm going to see if we can just say ok and now we're going to wait for next week. I love these kids and want what is best for them, but I can't give up my life and not have a social life because of their therapy anymore...I need a chance to get out once in awhile and communicate with other adults. She's coming out tomorrow so I'm going to see what she says. I'm hoping that she'll be ok with it though. I also think I'm going to get back with playgroup and try to meet some people. I get so nervous around people that I don't know very well, but I keep telling myself...I can't meet people and make new friends if I don't put myself out there. I just hope I can actually talk and it doesn't turn into me having to chase the kids around and out of stuff left and right like I do here at home.