What a difference...

Monday and Tuesday were not good days for me. The kids were totally wild, didn't want to listen, and we had speech and occupational therapy to get through. I had a melt down yesterday afternoon and was crying. I was really low and didn't know how to get myself out of the funk that I've been in so far this year. I wound up going up and meeting my Mom as she left work and we went for coffee at Hastings. I talked with her about how I was feeling and I told her how I just felt that I was on empty and I had no more to give anyone and I needed Andy's attention and love to try to fill me back up. She told me that I was going to the wrong source and that only God could truly fill me back up. Andy would help, but she said that whenever she gets in a funk it's because she's not spending enough time with Jesus. She gave me a book by Bruce Wilkinson yesterday (it's on my bookshelf if you look down below on my blog) and told me to start spending some quiet time in the morning. I told her that's so hard for me right now but I knew that I needed to spend some time doing daily devotions again as that had been on my heart lately, but Baby J gets up so early that I didn't know when I could do it anymore. She prayed with me that God would allow him to sleep long enough for me to get some quiet time in. I came home and talked with Andy (we really had a good talk and I felt a bit better). The night ended well and I went to sleep feeling so much better.

I woke up this morning when Andy left for work at 5. He told me good-bye and I heard him leave. Baby J woke up and I told him it wasn't time to get up yet. Most mornings, that would result in a huge temper tantrum and he would refuse to be quiet. However, he laid down and tried to get up again. I just walked in and put him back in his bed. He told me "I don't like beds." I told him he needed to stay quiet in his room. He laid in there for 40 minutes and I was able to read the first couple chapters in the book my Mom had given me, read the first Chapter of Genesis, and say my morning prayer. Then, he was at the door calling me. I brought him down and fed him some breakfast and let him watch some tv while I finished up. What a difference that truly made in my day. I was out later listening to Christian radio and they were talking about spending quiet time with Jesus and how it truly gives you peace. That was totally an affirmation to me that I was on the right track and I need to get back to giving Jesus part of my day so that he can feed me with what I need to sustain me throughout the day.