Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Attachment Therapy...

We had attachment therapy this morning. When I saw the neuropsych come in, I thought today was going to be the day we found out the results of their brain mapping. However, no such luck. We are going to get our next appt with him and the attachment therapist though. I can be patient and wait. :-) Honestly, I'm a bit scared to find out anyway if I'm totally true to how I feel. I'm scared they're going to tell me that how Josiah is, is just how he is and he'll be that way for the rest of his life. I'm trying to be hopeful though and I'm praying that's not the case. I have to hand my fears and worries back to God. With God all things are possible and I have to trust that it will all turn out for good. :-) Anyway, we were able to tell her that my Mother-in-Law is moving out and she was thrilled that we can finally start moving forward again. The kids just can't have someone else living in the house. It doesn't work and they spend all their time trying to lie and triangulate and I've also learned that unless you've experienced the things that we have the past 4 years, nobody truly understands RAD. She just kept trying to come up with excuses for the things that they were doing and giving into them and that obviously doesn't work with parenting these kids. Not to mention, all of the times that I'd tell them that they couldn't do something and she'd let them have their way because she wouldn't tell them no or physically make them stay out of it. You cannot sit and tell them what to do in this house, you're on your toes all of the time enforcing the boundaries. Anyway, it will be good to have our house back and be able to get them moving forward again. At our last appt with her, she told us that the kids were going backwards and not forwards and that we were losing ground and undoing progress that we had made with them with her still living here. We knew that, but it was another thing to hear her say that. I think MIL was unhappy about having to move, but I think it will be good for her too. We also talked about the problems that we've been having with Josiah. He's been getting more and more aggressive when things don't go his way, shoving furniture, throwing things at people, he's getting harder and harder for me to make do things as he's solid muscle. She told us that she's predicting that in about 18 months or a little longer, that we may need to start talking about sharing him with someone who can help drive home the point of your actions have consequences and working that fine line a little more. It's not what I wanted to hear, but in the meantime I will do all I can and pray, pray, pray and hope that his heart changes and he can begin to see cause/effect a little more. She gave him a little tool to help that was a visual for him and when she asked him to tell the girls about it, he wanted to play dumb, which she called him out on. We'll just continue to connect the dots for him and pray and hope that eventually something clicks sooner rather than later. We were also able to ask her about the bedroom situation that we have been trying to figure out. Currently Deidra and my MIL share a room, Emma and Tracie have their own room, Josiah has his own room, and Melina is in with Andy and myself. I was going to move Emma in with Deidra and then move Melina in with Tracie, however I got to thinking that Deidra's going into tween years and probably should have her own room. I had talked about changing the garage into bedrooms or doing an addition on the house. Andy wasn't game with that plan as he says if your grandparents can have 6 boys in one bedroom and 2 girls in the other we can certainly figure something out here without having to add on. So, we talked to the therapist about what she thought. We finally figured out that Deidra will move into the smaller bedroom that Emma and Tracie now have and we can put the 3 girls in the big room that Deidra is currently in. So Melina will be moving in with Emma and Tracie. I will admit that I'm nervous about it. Deidra had asked if she could have Melina with her, but they're 9 years apart and I think the novelty will wear off after awhile. So, hopefully this will work. If we run into problems with it, we're going to have to work on saving up to do an addition or changing the garage into bedrooms, but we'll see. I think we can give it a try though.



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