Can't give up on trying just yet for a baby of our own...

Hi Abba. Me again. My cycles appear to be getting a little more normal and although I thought I was honestly ready to shut that door and move to the adoption stages, the reality of having fertile mucuous (I can't believe I'm actually saying this to You, but hey, I should be able to talk to you about anything right?) and possibly ovulating around Father's Day made me realize that I was hopeful, surprised, and not ready to shut the door on the possibility of having one of our own. Then, a dear friend of mine called and told me her exciting news of expecting baby #4. I was so excited for her and it only further made me realize how I desperately want to have another baby and have a baby of our own still. I finally talked about my feelings to Andy. I wasn't sure if he'd want to turn back and really try again. I should know this week whether we're pregnant or not. If we are, we'll wait until the baby is born and we'd still like to pursue the adoptions. If we're not, we'd like to go and have infertility work ups done again and see what the doctor has to say. We're also going to see about working with the herbalist in Australia again as well. If we don't have any luck, the adoptions will still be pursued in November. Either way, we still want to adopt. We decided to keep this to ourselves, besides sharing this with a few close friends...we don't want to get people's hopes up or open ourselves up for more criticism. I just pray for Your Will, Abba. I put all of this in Your Hands. I know that you know our wants and our needs and you know how much we all want to have a baby of our own and to give some children a better life and home as well. We want to have our big happy family and we put everything all in Your Hands. Please help us to make our dreams come true, Abba. Thank you, for helping us have our little Deidra. You have given us such a blessing to be parents. She truly is a blessing and we will look on every child that you give us as a blessing as well. I've always been fascinated with big families and I'd love to have a big family of our own. Help us, Abba. God bless all the little children of the world this day as well! Help us as we go down this path of really trying again too. Help us with our emotions, to stay strong, and to achieve our dreams. I put all of this into Your Hands.