Another in-law vent...

Hi Abba. Please help our relationships heal if this is what is supposed to happen. I don't know how to make it happen anymore and we've given up a long time ago. Personally, I just feel better when we keep a distance between us...if we're not talking they can't hurt us.

Here's my vent though...bending over backwards for my BIL and SIL is something that both Andy and I refuse to do anymore. They sent us gift cards for Christmas and they got Deidra the VSmile Pocket thing so she could play her games on the go. She really likes it and it's something that I looked at for her myself when I was out. Anyway, I had sent them an email saying thank you the day of Christmas for the gifts. They talked to FIL on Christmas day and we were upstairs when they were talking. They never asked to talk to Andy and FIL never asked Andy if he wanted to say hi to them. That's pretty usual as FIL talks to them quite a bit and a lot of the time we'll be right there. Well, they came home from Florida last night and FIL called to see if they made it home alright. They were talking for about 20 minutes and then FIL came downstairs. FIL asked what they got us for Christmas and if Deidra liked her game thing. We told him that she did and what we got. He said "well, why don't you give them a call and let them know." I did this snicker and then acted like I just needed to change positions on the couch and decided to behave. Andy was like whatever. I almost let the cat out of the bag. FIL went back upstairs and Andy said to me "they were just on the phone, I couldn't have talked to them 5 minutes ago." We gave up calling them as they never call us back if we leave a message and if we are on the phone with them, Andy gets cut off with promises that they'll call back later and they never do. And we're both sick of the fact that whenever they do anything for birthdays/Christmas we're always expected to literally drop what we're doing to go and call them. I felt like saying to FIL, "how's this for ya...you can show Deidra a picture of them with her and she doesn't even know who in the hell they are. They don't call to say happy birthday to any of us when it's our birthdays, they didn't call us to wish us a Merry Christmas, our emails go unanswered, and hell they even left last year when they were here without even bothering to say good-bye to any of us. So why is it up to us?" And no, we never called them. They never acknowledge anything that we send to them either and if by some chance we do talk to them on the phone, they don't even want to talk to Deidra and myself (myself is fine by me...although I am always cordial to them, but the damage has been done with the past stuff that they've pulled). We just refuse to play the game anymore, yet I don't know why FIL always pushes us to be the ones to do it. The relationships have been broken for quite awhile I think. We had a good time with them last year when they were here for Christmas with the time that we actually did see them, but then they left without even bothering to say good-bye and we decided that we were just done trying. They only think of themselves, they're caught up in their own world, so whatever. I just wish FIL could see that. If time brings healing, then that will be great. I'm not sure if the relationships can ever be salvaged past what they are now, although I leave all that in your hands. You know what is best for all of us.