Hard day yesterday...

I had to take E to the doctor for his check-up and he had to get 3 immunizations. He wasn't feeling too well afterwards. I had him on motrin. He also got a couple of perscriptions so I had to do those with him too. Anyway, he was fussy most of the day. Andy stayed him with D and J while I took E to the doctor and by the time I dropped off his perscriptions, I didn't have time to wait for them before Andy had to leave as he had a deadline at work. Andy and I got into a small tizzy over the way he acted when I got home (I was later than I thought I'd be and he was worried he wouldn't be able to set up for the conference before it needed to be done by and everyone was really busy at work and couldn't help him).

So, after the boys morning nap, I got them all into the car to go back to Walgreens to get E's meds. What do you know but it starts pouring. Deidra took Evan to wait under the awning while I got J out of the car. We run in and get his meds and a few snacks. Come back home and I brought J in with Deidra and Deidra fed J something that he wasn't supposed to have while I was out getting E from the car. Poor guy had some major intestinal issues, got horrid butt rash, and was majorly fussy. I wound up having to give him a couple sitz baths as well as piling on his perscription butt cream afterwards and a little motrin. I couldn't be mad at Deidra as she was only trying to help, but now she knows that she can't feed them without asking me first.

I'm trying to feed the boys lunch and J has another explosive diaper...I pick him up to go change him...E is in the high chair...the doorbell rings. It turns out to be J's caseworker that was supposed to be here on MOnday that never showed up. She said she just needed to take a quick picture of J and she asked me a few questions about his mom that I didn't have the answers too. Turns out, it's under investigation whether he can even be placed with his mom or whether they needed to remain to be separated. I had no idea it was under investigation at all. Anyway...I gave her the name of someone she could call and E dumps his food all over the floor. She finally says that she sees that I have my hands full and she got all that she needed. She left and I looked around and I was like with how messy and chaotic it is in here from them not feeling well and the messes they've been making...yeah that probably made a wonderful impression. All I wanted to do was cry...

Anyway, with both the boys being fussy, Deidra wasn't getting the attention she wanted...so what does she do while she's playing in the sink...she decides that she's going to be a baby too and since she's seen me bathe J in the sink...she climbs on the counter and says she got something on her foot and is going to wash her foot. I thought she was just going to sit on the counterand put her foot in to wash it off...nope she decides that she's going to sit in the sink full of water. I put the babies down and go run over there to get her out and she's slopped water all over the counter, under the microwave, down the cabinets, and all over the floor. Oh, and while I'm trying to get her out and the water cleaned up, E decides to bite J right in the center of his forehead.

I finally got things cleaned up, kids calmed down, but my head was killing me. The babies went down for their afternoon nap and I had some stuff I had to try to catch up on. My Dad kept calling me all day over my brother's stupid stuff as well and it just wasn't good timing. J woke up from his nap with another horrid diaper...didn't even want me to touch him as it hurt. I'm in the middle of doing all this and the phone rings again...Deidra gets it for me...it's my Dad wanting to know if my brother got in touch with Andy. Ummm,..I don't know...why don't you try calling Andy? My Dad just kept laughing over everything that was going on and asking me if I was sure that I wanted to do this. Finally I had to ask him if he had never had a hard day. E wound up turning the power cord off to the phone while I was on the phone with him...so I'm sure he thought that I had hung up on him.

I finally called Andy when he was 2 hours late coming home and asked him when he was going to come home. I had a headache (this was 7 pm and it finally dawned on me that I hadn't eaten anything all day long) and I just needed a break. He got home just in time to help me get them in their jammies and put them to bed. I had had it though with everyone laughing at what was going on and nobody being positive when that was what I needed. Thankfully, a friend lifted me up when the boys were taking their afternoon nap.

I ran out to Wal-mart and left Andy to put Deidra to bed...I needed some time to myself. I told him that I was tired of being asked if I regretted doing this, or if I knew what I was getting into, and all these negative comments I kept hearing by family who was supposed to support me. I stepped outside the house and looked up and there was a beautiful full rainbow right in front of our house. I ran back in to tell Andy and him and Deidra came out to look at it. Awhile later, I left to run my errands as J was out of soy milk. I got into the car and tears just streamed down my face...I felt like it was God's way of telling me that He believes in me.

Anyway, I hope today goes much better. This week hasn't been that bad...it was just a hard day yesterday. Andy told me last night that he thinks I'm trying to be super mom because of the things that they've been through and I feel stressed knowing that their caseworkers are coming in and out that things aren't all chaotic and messy. He finally got me to understand that they just care that the kids are taken care of and if there's an occasional mess that it's going to be ok. I just need to learn how to chill about certain things.

I pray that today goes much better and the kids will feel better today as well.