Monday, October 26, 2009

I cannot get over...

how much I've been sleeping or been wanting to sleep lately. I am just dragging. Nothing in my house is really getting done. Andy pampered me all weekend and did the laundry and the cooking when we weren't grabbing dinners out. I told him I feel awful that the house is all cluttered and I start out the day with the best of intentions, but by the time I can grab some time to do something, all I want to do is sit down or if the kids are napping at the same time I want to grab a quick nap myself. I came out and told my CPS worker and my therapists that I was pregnant. Everybody keeps asking me how I'm feeling. I just feel like I could fall asleep at any given moment, I have bouts of queesiness. I am always gassy. (I know, like you really wanted to know that...but it's BAD and gas pains hurt). I have heartburn and yesterday I had a really bad bachache that would not go away. Yesterday, I was really moody and I felt really bad, but I just kept getting aggravated. Deidra's friend was over too and they pleaded to go outside. I told them I didn't care. I get back to resting on the couch and the next thing I know is Deidra is yelling that her friend has to go to the bathroom but she won't come out of the swingset fort because she's afraid of the dog. She managed to walk outside with the dog out there to go to the swingset and now she can't do the same to get back in the house? Well, the next thing I know is Deidra's yelling at the dog and her friend would not come all the way down. Our dog is harmless...yes she's hyper as she's still a puppy, but she's not mean. She's nothing to be afraid of. So, I get back up and go get the dog so she can come in. She comes in and I expect her to head to the bathroom. Nope, she says she never had to go. I'm sorry, but she was the one just bragging about how she could never tell a lie...I realize that it doesn't exactly sound like a big deal...but why say you have to come in because you have to go tot he bathroom and then once you get in the house admit that you didn't have to go. Um, that's a lie to me. So, I told them they weren't going back outside if she was going to be like that.

I just am dragging today. I was trying to sign papers for the OT and I kept hearing something. I go into the kitchen to find Josiah with my spray butter, just spraying it all over the floor, counter, and the oven. Looks like I'll be mopping later. He just looks at me with this smirk on his face. After she left, I made him help me clean it up off the counters and stuff. I'm going to do the floor as I didn't want anyone slipping and falling. And while I should be in the kitchen decluttering my countertops and mopping the floor, here I sit. Both kids finally fell asleep...I desperately want to close my eyes. Yet, I feel like I'm so behind with everything that I really should clean and get some paperwork that I'm behind on done....I have the kids Christmas lists that I have to have turned in by the end of the week, and I have some evaluations that I have to do. Not to mention, complete the girls adoption application and reference forms. Everytime I think about it, I just say it can wait. I know I can't keep thinking like this. I just want to lay down and go to sleep.

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