Monday, November 22, 2010

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 1

Andy and I read the first two chapters yesterday. Two things that stuck out at us is that these kids need structure to feel safe and secure and while I think we have a good routine down, I think we're going to try and fine-tune it a little more.

The other thing that stuck out at us is rather than doing time outs for punishment they need to do time ins. So, I've been sitting with them on my lap. We don't talk during that time, I just sit with them and hold them. If they're upset, I lightly rub their backs. Once a couple of minutes go by, I talk to them about what happened and how we can change the behaviors to make a good choice instead.

We've only done 2 so far. Both have been with Josiah. The first time he wouldn't quit talking. And when I stood him up (I sit on the floor and they stand in front of me) to talk to him, he thought it was funny. 10 minutes later, we were right back to another time in over another behavior. He didn't want to have to sit on my lap and he was trying to make himself go rigid and then he'd push against me over and over. Once I stood him up to talk to me, you could tell he was really trying to figure this all out. It's new for all of us, but I want healthy-attached kids and so I'm willing to give this my all. Some other things may fall to the way side during the next few weeks/months, but it's worth it if we can work through some of these attachment issues.

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Blogger Kerry said...

I'll keep you in prayer as you begin a new routine and the time ins. When I had my home daycare that was my preferred method of dealing with behavior issues (no attachment issue kids though). It's different for the kids so I'll pray that it's something that makes them feel loved and secure AND helps them remember to make good choices.

Shoot...I may try that with Zachary! To me and my not so knowledgeable self, it seems he's overly attached, constantly sitting on my lap and always telling us how much he loves us. LOL Not so bad, considering there are kids out there at his age screaming "I hate you" to their families :(

9:06 AM  

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