Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 1

Andy and I read the first two chapters yesterday. Two things that stuck out at us is that these kids need structure to feel safe and secure and while I think we have a good routine down, I think we're going to try and fine-tune it a little more.

The other thing that stuck out at us is rather than doing time outs for punishment they need to do time ins. So, I've been sitting with them on my lap. We don't talk during that time, I just sit with them and hold them. If they're upset, I lightly rub their backs. Once a couple of minutes go by, I talk to them about what happened and how we can change the behaviors to make a good choice instead.

We've only done 2 so far. Both have been with Josiah. The first time he wouldn't quit talking. And when I stood him up (I sit on the floor and they stand in front of me) to talk to him, he thought it was funny. 10 minutes later, we were right back to another time in over another behavior. He didn't want to have to sit on my lap and he was trying to make himself go rigid and then he'd push against me over and over. Once I stood him up to talk to me, you could tell he was really trying to figure this all out. It's new for all of us, but I want healthy-attached kids and so I'm willing to give this my all. Some other things may fall to the way side during the next few weeks/months, but it's worth it if we can work through some of these attachment issues.