Thursday, February 23, 2012

Have to get a little thicker skin...

My Dad came in to get some medical test done this week and he always stays here with us. 5 kids, me and Andy, Andy's Mom, and my Dad too make for a little chaos when we're all together. Not to mention that the attachment disorder really gets hard to manage when other people are in the house with Josiah, Emma, and Tracie. My Dad does not get that at all...he thinks it's all bologne. Anyway, my Dad had a comment about the fact that we always make them clean their plates...if you saw their dinner plates and how small they are, you'd realize how dumb this is that he's getting upset about it. Of course, what he was really upset about was the fact that I made Emma finish her dinner when in fact she was really just trying to play games since Grandpa was here to see what she could get away with and she was mad because we weren't falling for it. When I would get on the kids for rambling and swarming everyone and interrupting the conversations over and over and over again, my Dad would just give me this look and shake his head. I'm trying to teach them boundaries, that we wait our turn to speak and that we aren't climbing all over our guests and all that stuff. Yesterday, he really hurt my feelings. He said that being raised with all of his brothers and sisters that he doesn't remember them ever getting on them like we are constantly getting after our kids. I told him that they weren't dealing with the things that we are dealing with in our family either. He said they were too, they just didn't know what those things were back when he was growing up. I highly doubt anyone in his family was dealing with RAD, let alone 3 of our little ones have attachment disorder in varying degrees and with the ADHD we're constnatly repeating ourselves to keep them on task. It's not like we're just doing it for the sake of doing it, it has a purpose. He refused to even listen to me about the attachment disorder or what that even entailed. I finally had to tell myself, that he didn't know what to do with me or my 2 brothers when we were growing can I expect him to understand what it's like on a day-to-day basis around here when he only sees glimpses every few months. We had them outside yesterday and they weren't listening and so I told them to go in the house as outside time was done. They didn't seem interested in playing anymore anyway, it was all about bickering over this or that. Josiah took off runnign and screaming at the top of his lungs and Tracie started crying her head off. Emma went inside peacefully and Melina was upset about having to go in. My Dad asked me what in the heck I did. I told him "they don't want to play anymore so I said it was time to come in and this is what happens every day." He said "if my kids acted like that just over having to play outside that would be the last time they went outside." Well, call me mean then...but they need outside time too even if they don't always like it...good old fashioned vitamin D...we all need it. I couldn't sleep last night thinking about all of his comments and I was so mad that he won't at least try to understand this stuff. But, finally I gave it to God and He gave me some rest. I choose to go forward in knowing God has a plan for not only my life, but my children's too and that God will give Andy and I the graces to get through this and He will heal them! I firmly believe that will come in time. I almost wish we would have had a counseling appt with our attachment therapist this week as my Dad would have gotten dragged along. lol

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