Sunday, April 15, 2012

New that was going to happen...

Andy's Mom had asked me what she was supposed to do when the kids wanted to sit on her lap or do things with them. I told her to start looking at how the kids treat Andy and I and redirect them back to us. All week Josiah has been pleading to sit on Grandma's lap. I've sat down and offered to have him sit with me, it turns into a fit that he starts throwing. I know that he's not the cuddly kid that he's trying to pretend to be...our attachment therapist knows that too. He's going to act ugly and keep Andy and I at bay for as long as he can...he does this stuff with his teacher as well sometimes. I went upstairs to help Andy with something and Tracie had been trying all afternoon to glom onto Grandma. She ignores Andy and I too. Nevermind, our attachment therapist has had several talks with her about it and has told her over and over again that if she wants hugs or to get her happy's back, that she needs to come to Mommy or Daddy. I came down and who's sitting in Grandma's lap...Tracie. I knew my blow-up wasn't going to get across. Our therapist had tried to get my Mother-in-Law to attend therapy sessions for several months and she wouldnt' have anythign to do with it. The therapist told us, that she knew that she was part of the problem if she was going to be that way. I think that's true. I told her during our blow-out that I feel like I'm just another child in this house. Nobody listens to a darn thing that I say. I try to play with my baby, my Mother-in-Law steps in. I try to talk to my husband, my MIL has to get in that conversation too. I try to discipline the kids, their behaviors go up and over the top with the added audience of my MIL. When it's just me with the kids at home, yes we have our behavior problems still, but it's not to the extent that it is when my MIL is home. I've just really had enough. I told Andy that I was going to start calling the manipulation out when I see it. If it makes my MIL mad, then she can move out sooner. I've honestly had enough. And the sad thing is that I'm not really calling my MIL out on it, I'm trying to point out the kids manipulation. Josiah got mad this week when I called his out. He even admitted that he goes to Grandma to hurt me and that he goes to Grandma to see if he can get what he wants. He goes to Grandma also because he knows that Mommy won't play his games. Also why he acts ugly to Mommy and Daddy. But, I also know that if he's going to get better, we need to go back to living without having guests here and so I know it's time that she needs to find her own place.

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