Am I making too much out of nothing?

Ok girls...tell me your thoughts? Am I wrong to be upset about this?

Deidra's birthday is Sunday, November 11. Andy's mom and Hal have decided to come into town to surprise Deidra by being here for her birthday. We didn't know until recently that they were coming for sure. But, they asked us to keep it a secret for Deidra. So, Andy's talking to his mom the other day and she starts talking about their plans for coming in. They're coming in on Friday and having her sister and BIL come in to pick them up. They're going to stay at their house on Friday and Saturday and then they'll come to our house for Deidra's birthday on Sunday. Andy asks when they have to leave and they say not until Monday at 3. She said that they're going to get a hotel room on Sunday night because of the kids (which we already knew). Andy told them that they were more than welcome to stay here if they wanted. Nope, they're getting the hotel room and they want us to check into pricing for them. Then, he asks them if they're going to get a car rental or whatnot and they say they're not planning on it. Andy said he'd probably have to take off work on Monday then for us to be able to take them to the airport. I told him that it's not going to be "us" taking them back to the airport. Deidra and Little J have school and I have to leave the house by 2:30 to go get them and besides we'd have to take 2 cars to the airport and I really don't feel like having to do that. However, Andy's running low on sick/vacation time and he'd be using up the last of it to bring them to the airport and I keep asking Andy what if I need him here at home or something over the next couple of months or we want to have an extra holiday day together for Thanksgiving. I am just sick of what our plans are or anything not being respected or even asked about. And on top of all this, Andy said that he didn't think it would be a good idea for us to do Deidra's birthday party on her birthday because he didn't think that his mom and Hal would be able to deal with the kids.

I don't think that's fair to Deidra when all she's been asking for is a birthday party with her friends (she didn't get one last year) and I had told her that she could have her party this year. Now if I tell her she can't, she's going to be upset and if I have to reschedule her party, I don't know how I'm going to do it with working weekends and I've already submitted all my time off requests for the first couple of weeks in November. And if I get too close to the end of the month, we'll be dealing with Thanksgiving. I just don't think it's right that his Mom didn't even ask what our plans were much less try to accomodate her and I'm also pissed that she could be spending more time with Deidra and she's choosing not to. So, a trip that is supposed to be for Deidra...really isn't about that anyway.

My Mom told me to have her friends over and let his Mom know about the party and that they're more than welcome to attend her party. If they choose to then they're there. If they choose not to, then that's up to them. But, I can see that making waves if we do it now. I just don't know and I am so mad...I'm really beginning to hate it when his Mom comes to town. If she cares more about seeing her sister that weekend, I don't understand why they don't just stay over there the whole time. Deidra won't even know the difference. I just feel like she doesn't care if they put us out or anything and I really don't think that's fair to Deidra when it's her birthday. And I'm sorry...I can see Deidra being excited that she's here somewhat, but it's not like she sees them enough to really know her...so I think it's unfair to ask her to give up her birthday party...and maybe I'm the one in the wrong for that...I don't know.

It's Andy's birthday today so I'm trying to keep my opinions to myself after their phone conversation last night so that I didn't spoil his birthday by being mad, but I'm really sick of them being so selfish. And I don't understand staying in a hotel because the kids will be too much for them. They go down for bed at night between 7:30 and 8. Bedtime isn't a circus...they go down really well and stay down. So, they plan on being here during the daytime when the kids are all awake and I'm sorry, I really don't think they're that badly behaved. I told Andy that I don't really see us having much of a visit with them if they think the kids are too much and want to go to their hotel room and to make Andy chauffeur them around because they don't want to get a rental, I think is what even makes me madder. I think he should be able to enjoy his own daughter's birthday without having to cater to his mom's beck and call. And I've already told Andy that if Hal makes any comments while he's here like what was said in Phoenix...I will not be keeping quiet. But, I know if I say all this...that only makes me look like the bad wife.