Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Not a great morning...

Abba, I'm going to vent and then I'm going to work on changing my attitude.

Deidra was supposed to have a choir performance tonight to sing in between soccer games. Andy had signed up a few months ago to take a weather spotting class with his Dad. Andy's already taken the class, but his Dad hasn't. Anyway, we got to talking and his Dad mentioned that tonight was the night for the class. I had forgotten all about it as it's been like 6 months and I had asked Andy to write it on the calendar, but of course he never did. We talked and he decided to go with me to the soccer game so that I wasn't trying to juggle all the kids while waiting for Deidra to finish singing as we couldn't just drop her off and then come back to pick her up. Melina's really getting hard to take anywhere as she just constantly wants to be on the go. Anyway, I was telling Deidra to get me her jeans and her choir t-shirt so I could have them washed today and she tells me "oh yeah, I forgot, it got cancelled as we didn't have enough people that were going to sing." So, of course the plan changes and Andy wants to go with his Dad tonight. It was like everything changed all at once. I normally do fine if I can prepare myself ahead of time that he's going to be gone, but it was sprung on me and it just bothered me.

Granted too, that my Dad was just here last week, his Dad is constantly coming in and out of the house, and my Mother-in-Law is still living here and I feel like Andy and I never get any quality time to spend together. I know that's the root of why I'm upset. I can't even talk to my husband for 5 minutes without an interruption. And I was trying to explain something to Andy and Deidra kept butting in wanting to ask questions. Finally, I got mad and went into the laundry room. I see others getting his time and whatnot, it would be nice to have 15-minutes a day of his time spent on me. Does that sound selfish? I just feel like I'm walking around on empty all the time trying to take care of the kids...and it would be nice to have someone trying to make sure my needs are met too. I need to go curl up in the Word as I know that You always have time for me, Abba. I am just having a moment and would appreciate my spouse spending some quality time with me instead of always feeling like I am on the backburner. I'm not saying that I don't want him to go spend time with his family or whatnot, I just would like some undivided attention once in awhile. He always says "we have a big family, this is what happens." I don't think it needs to be that way, but apparently I'm the only one that feels that way.

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