Wednesday, October 24, 2007

What we decided...

Well, Andy and I had the opportunity to really discuss a lot of things last night. It feels so good to connect with your husband! We really needed last night's talk. Anyway, one thing we talked about was Deidra's party. I'm going to go ahead and let her have her birthday party on Sunday (her actual birthday) from 1-3. That way, everyone has time to do their church and Sunday school thing in the morning too. We're going to send an invitation to his mom and Hal and Andy's aunt and uncle that live here in TX (that they're going to be staying with) and my Mom and brother will be here too for the party. I figure that way they know what's going on and they can choose to come and if they don't want to, then that's their loss as that's even less time that they'll have with Deidra. I told Andy that I don't think it's right that they they just expect him to take the day off of work to get them back to the airport. He said it bugged him to, but that's his Mom and he really didn't know how to handle it. He knows he's low on personal time and he said he'd probably have to make the hours up that week because of it. I'm going to leave that one up to him to discuss with his Mom if he chooses to. I really hate though how they don't care about putting anyone else out and we're just supposed to want to do it because "hey, they're here for Deidra's birthday to surprise her." When what it really boils down to is that it's really not about her at all.

We also discussed some of our short and long term goals last night and I brought up how I really just want to be done working at the Depot. This never having a full day off together unless one of us takes a vacation day is just getting to me. Especially giving the fact that it's hard to stay on top of chores and unpackign and what not when you have 2 little boys who are constantly trying to undo what you just did or you can't make the time to do what needs to be done. Andy said that he's especially starting to see what I go through during the week when he's at home alone with them on the weekends. But, it also bugs me too that we don't have any time to do things as a family and not feeling rushed to get it done because someone has to get to work. He understands and has said that it has started to bug him too. So, I think I'm going to quit right before Thanksgiving. I just can't do it anymore with 3(soon to be 4) kids and it's just not worth it to me anymore. I have to set up insurance again for Deidra and I and I told Andy that I'd pray about it in the meantime.

Andy expressed that he really would like to be debt-free by the time he's 35. He turned 32 I think it's totally do-able and I think we'll hit that goal way before he turns 35. His car is almost paid off (granted we're talking about trading in and getting a mini-van). We have a couple doctor bills to get paid off that we just incurred, and we have our student loans to get paid off. bills, mini-van, student loans and we're there...everything but the house. So, I think it's do-able.

We talked about things that we wanted to get for the house. We're setting up a budget for those things and everything is going on a list. We'll buy them as we have the cash to do so. I think we're going to start with the bathrooms as that stuff is relatively inexpensive, then we'll move on to the kids' rooms, then we'll do the living room furniture, new kitchen table, and then we'll probably do our bedroom furniture last. We're going to start getting new playroom items too (slide, kitchen...bigger things that they can't make a mess with), and saving for a swingset outside.

And we also discussed how we needed to start making more time for one another. Things have been so busy and chaotic here that we forget to make time for each other and it shows sometimes. We talked about the miscarriage finally...that was something I really felt like I went through alone because so much else was going on at the time. He felt really bad once I finally opened up about how I had been feeling...we just need to take more time out for us to connect and really talk. I made a schedule for the house and other things that we have going on so that the house will hopefully stay clean and looking nice and there's time for the things that he wants to make sure that he has time for as well and we have our family time and time alone to talk too.

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