I'm about to snap...

if one more person gives me a hard time or adds something to my plate, I'm going to lose it.

My Dad was here all last week and man is he needy. He had his last skin-cancer surgery and is now cancer free and for that I am thankful. He drove us all crazy while he was here though. He left Monday and while I was taking the kids to play at a play place, he calls me and says that he's sending my brother, Zach, over to get money to get his car fixed. (I do my Dad's finances since he's on the road all the time). Anyway, I informed him that I wasn't at home and he gave me a hard time. Well, my brother can call me and find out when I am going to be home...he does have the number. Anyway, later on that day my brother came over without notice and I didn't have time to get to the bank and if I could write him a check. He then informed me that I needed to make it out to someone else and I asked him for how much and he didn't know. I was floored. It's his car that needs to be fixed...how do you not know how much it is. So, I call Dad and he tells me the amount, I write the check and he leaves.

Then, I'm dealing with a whole mess with therapy. I can't live without a schedule and knowing when my therapy days and times are going to be anymore. For the longest time, I had set days and times and it worked out really well. Now, it's getting to be where I don't even know the day, let alone the time and I refuse to live this way anymore. So, they give me a referral to a new therapy company and they call and ask a bunch of questions on the dates and times that I was available for Baby T to have speech. I said I preferred mornings, but I would do 8-12 on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Fridays but once they started MDO in August again, we would only be available on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They called me back and wanted to know why the times couldn't be later. So, I gave them Mondays from 8-11 (we do occupational therapy after that), Tuesdays from 8-2, Wednesdays from 8-2 and I said I could give them 8-2 on Fridays until August. I thought I did pretty well, they're still giving me a hard time about it and can't understand why I can't do anytimes later. Gee, it's a 45 minute appt and you're telling me you don't have someone that can do her therapy in that time frame? And I'm sorry, but I'm already giving them a time past when I prefer and I would like to be able to do some stuff with the kids during summer rather than just feeling like we're waiting for the therapy appts for the day to be over. The guy started asking me all kinds of questions and I told him look, my daughter is out of school for the summer but once school starts again I need to be able to bring her back and forth and I need therapy to be done by 2. Mondays, we do occupational therapy with another company and that lasts about 3 hours and she gets here sometime between 11-12. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are supposed to be my set speech therapy days. Thursdays are visit days for the girls, they have play therapy and med check that day as well. Fridays, I really would prefer to be my free day as I need a down day after all that goes on during the week. He let me know that they may be only able to do her speech therapy appt once a week. I told him I was fine with that. THe doctor didn't say she had to do it twice a week, it was our current therapy appt people that put her down for twice a week. I would be fine with once a week. So, I guess the lady is going to take Baby T and talk to me more about her schedule and what we can do when she comes out. I'm also going to try and get sensory therapy going for Baby J through this company since our own OT worker is so booked with just providing OT for everyone and she feels that Baby J really could use an extra session weekly just focusing on sensory stuff since he's so over the top right now.

Then, I get a phone call from my Dad telling me that his aunt died and wanted me to send flowers. However, he knows nothing and wants me to find out what I can online. I ask where she's from and what her name is and he tells me where he thought she was from and that he doesn't know how to spell her last name. I spent 45 minutes trying to find something out online and finally told him that I didn't have a problem sending flowers but he was going to have to do the legwork and talk to his family about where she was going to be at in the funeral homes and stuff. I can't do everything and I didn't know her at all to even have an idea of her name or anything. He got snippy, but finally got ahold of one of his sisters who gave him the information and I ordered flowers and had them sent today.

I am trying my best to honor my parents, but it just seems that they both have stuff going on...I'm the run-to person and they overload me at times, yet when I ask for help they can't be bothered.

I've been reading a lot of books lately on certain things and the one thing that I keep finding is they keep saying that I have to have some time out and some time to focus on me so that I can keep going. So, I am trying to take a few minutes at the end of the day to pamper myself a bit. I feel guilty about it at times, but I know that I need to look out for me or nobody else will.