The Love Dare--Day 28
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Well, I really seem to be having a problem in the area of his greatest need. I feel like he is my only support system with all the kids and by the time the weekend gets here I really am ready for him to be home to help me with the kids and I consider that to be our family time. He likes to go out and play disc golf with his co-workers on some Saturdays. I try to give him some time, but I really do better when he can go out on a weeknight...but he enjoys going on some Saturdays. He asked last night if he could go next weekend. Granted, he is taking a 3-day weekend this weekend because we have Baby J's adoption presentation on Monday morning. And next weekend he'll be off and then work Monday, and then he'll be off on Tuesday for Baby J's adoption day. I just get frustrated and selfish because I want that to be our family time. I feel burned out with having to do all the child-care all the time, and making sure the house is clean, and all the paperwork and therapy stuff. But, I will continue to try to put my own needs to the side, and give him what he wants. He said to me last night that he was really good about letting me go to my brother's graduation at the beginning of June and spend the day with my family and he let me go to dinner with my Dad before he had to leave to celebrate Father's Day. I see his point and I know he needs his time out too, but I seem to be struggling with this as I don't have anyone to help me with the kids but him.
Labels: marriage, The Love Dare
2 Comments:
I wonder if you could find some support in the foster care or adoptive community. YOu could perhaps trade off days with another mom or two where you each get a break from the kids. That way you don't feel like you have to shoulder the burden to Andy when he gets home. It is hard not to, but that might be a way to get the help you need but not put the burden on him. He is going to have to do for the kids when he wants to or he will resent it.
I know when we did FC, that all FP were licensed to be babysitters or to watch the kids. With summer being here, perhaps y'all could trade out a few hours each week so you get a break.
I have a hard enough time trying to find a sitter for all of them when we have something going on, let alone just to get a break. I wind up running them to separate houses usually and I spend more time running them in opposite directions to get them to the houses they need to be. I am missing my MDO program as I got a break on Fridays when I needed to. My Mom keeps saying she'd watch them after they went to bed so we could get a couple hours of a break or go on a date and she still hasn't filled out the paperwork or taken our CPR and first aid class that she needs to be a sitter. And the problem too with finding sitters with the foster parents as we still have to keep ratio and that's been tough to find people who have openings as well.
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