My Ultrasound

Had my ultrasound yesterday. Things went ok and it didn't hurt near as badly as the last one. She still had a hard time finding my right ovary since my uterus is tipped, but I could deal with the pain as it wasn't too bad this time. My left ovary only has a few eggs growing that are only 8mm. My right has a couple that are about 13 mm. They need to get to 18-20mm before they're mature enough for me to ovulate. So, it's just a waiting game to see when I'll ovulate over the next couple of days. She said "don't go get pregnant on Thanksgiving now." And she winked at me. I just laughed. It would be an exciting time to find out that we're expecting. She did say that if we don't get pregnant this month that she wants to up my dosage of clomid as well as recommending that we start doing some inseminations to help our chances. We're talking about that step and praying about it. I'd really like to just see if we can get pregnant the old-fashioned way. Hopefully, we can get pregnant this month. :-) Abba, please help me to ovulate on my own again this cycle and give us a great chance at becoming pregnant this cycle. What a magical time of Christmas and celebrating Your Birth would it be to find out that we are finally getting a baby again of our own. Help us to get pregnant again, Abba. Thank you for all of your blessings upon our family.

Well, if I had any qualms about quitting, I don't anymore...

Hi Abba. I know I keep coming to You on this whole work situation. I knew the answer last time that you were telling me it was time for me to be home again. Then, I tried to do things on my own and stick it out at work and now I'm faced with this. Now, I definitely know it is time.

I'm sticking around for the next month or two to get my bonus and then I'm out of there. I came home last night all upset as they're giving me a hard time about missing work since Deidra was sick. I had gone into work on Monday and was there an hour and a half to get a call from Andy saying that Deidra was sick at school and needed to be picked up. I told them, I had to go and left about a half an hour later. The operations manager had a meeting with all the head cashiers and one point that was brought up (and we'll all be going over it on Sunday at the store meeting) was on attendance. Anyone who gets to 10 points is out the door, no ands, ifs, or buts. You miss a day during the week it's 3 points...you miss a day on the weekend or a holiday and it's 5 points. You bring in a doctor's note, they'll bring it down a point making it 2 points, and 4 points. Andy and I always take turns staying home with her when she's sick. I've missed 6 days now in 8 months, so I'm already past 10 points. I've brought in doctor's notes whenever I could, but I'm not bringing her in over every little thing when all the doctor is going to tell me is "yup, she's got a cold. I can't really put her on anything, it's just going to run it's course." I was told yesterday that I better find a back-up babysitter or I could risk losing my job. Ummm, the babysitter isn't the problem, they're there all the time...it's the fact that she's sick and nobody is going to take her like that or should they be expected too. Then, I was asked if I had family that could help, "umm, they all work and hello...she's sick she doesn't need to make everyone else sick too." I flat out told one of my head cashiers, "this family claims to be so family oriented and they're not, so if you need to let me go because my daughter's sick then fine. It's not like I'm missing work because I just don't feel like working and I work through being sick myself, so that I can have my sick time for when my daughter is sick. There isn't a time (except for once) that I haven't had the personal time to take when she's been sick. Andy's attendance policy at his work is a whole lot more strict than mine too and we get hit extra hard when he has to miss as he makes a little more than I do." I was informed that she had to quit many a job when her kids were little because of them being sick. So I told her that I guess if I had to do that, then that's what I would do and she spent the rest of the day trying to get me to see if I could find a back-up sitter cause they'd hate to lose me. I'm sick of the stresses...I'm going to bring in the policy for Kindercare with sick children and give a copy to Corey (my direct boss) and to Paige (the HR manager) although I really don't think it's going to help.

Deidra's here with a 103 fever, a little cough, and a sore throat. She's been really tired. I missed work on Monday, Andy stayed home with her Tuesday since I had today off. She's still running a fever, so it looks like I'll have to call in tomorrow as well. I honestly don't know what they expect me to do. I was told to switch my day shift to a night shift and come in from 12-9 and I just looked at them and said that Andy doesn't get home until between 4 and 5 and I couldn't come in until after that if I were to do it that way and I'd still get points for that anyway. I can't deal with it anymore. All I can do is hope that she'll feel better and the fever will break by the end of the day.

I understand that they're trying to run a company, but there's a lot of people that are constantly late or missing work and these people are single and don't have kids and I've missed a lot less work than them. Yeah, I work when I'm sick so that I can use my sick time for when she's sick and she does get sick a lot due to her age and being around all the other kids at daycare. I guess I just thought they'd cut me some slack.

Go for my ultrasound....

on the 22nd. I started taking my clomid again yesterday. So far so good and no mood swings as of yet. Hopefully, they won't be too bad this time. Please help my ultrasound to be pain-free this time and please help me to have a good cycle and to ovulate again on my own.

My dog, Baxter...

went to be with You yesterday. We're all a little sad. My Mom feels guilty that she didn't do enough for him. He hadn't been feeling well and kept throwing up off and on. After 2 times of getting her up in the wee hours of the morning, she put him outside with a blanket in his dog house. Got up and got ready for church, ran to the store...ran into my brother, Zach and found out that Baxter had passed away. I keep telling her that she had no way of knowing that he was going to die. He had done this before and gotten through it many times. Anyway, Zach is taking it pretty hard. Zach and I used to fight over that dog when I lived at home. Zach buried him on the side of the house under a tree that he constantly used to lay under and Mom asked him later if he had gotten his collar before he buried him. Zach said yes and he had had it tied around his wrist. I was teary eyed until Mom told me that and then I began to cry. He was a good dog...Mom called him "Old Faithful." He was very loyal and loving to Mom after Dad left her...he seemed to sense her pain and he was always by her side, so this is hard on her too. I told her that I didn't know if animals went to Heaven for sure, but I couldn't see You creating all of them and then just letting them disappear after they passed away, so I think he's up in Heaven running the side of the fences teasing the bigger dogs and getting them all riled up like one of his favorite pasttimes. Help us all with our grief, Abba. He was a good little dog. We all loved him.

Birthday Blessings for Deidra...

Thank you so much for my little Deidra, Abba. She brings so much joy to our lives. I can't believe that I'm a mommy to a 5-year-old little girl today. She's gotten so big lately and is quite the little girl now. We have fun together and she is quite a little charmer. That may be a problem with the boys a little later, but we'll deal with it when that gets here I guess. ;-) She does have quite the personality and everyone seems to love her no matter where she goes. She's a very well-behaved little girl for the most part and we are very blessed to have her in our lives. Please shower her with birthday blessings today and for every day this year. Keep her safe and help her to know that she is always loved each and every day. Thank you for my beautiful little girl! I asked her what her birthday wishes are for this year and she said "I want to go to the movie theater today, I want to go on another vacation to the water park again and maybe Disney World if we can. I want to have a baby sister and baby brother (notice it's always in that order? lol) and I want to make more friends and eat some popcorn at the movie theater." Out of the mouths of babes.... Help her birthday wishes come true for her this year, Abba. :-)

Looks like I'll be doing another clomid cycle...

Hi Abba. I woke up to find that my period has arrived. I'm kinda bummed as I was really hoping to be able to tell Deidra that she was going to be a big sister finally as it's her birthday today. But, I'm thankful at least that the clomid did what it was supposed to and I actually ovulated on my own. It was neat watching my temps doing what they were supposed to be doing this month for the first time in a very long time. Not looking forward to another round of mood swings, but here's to hoping that the next cycle does the trick. :-) Help us to achieve the pregnancy that we have been wanting soon.

2 week wait...

Hi Abba. Well, it appears that I have finally ovulated on my own with the help of clomid. Thank you so much for that accomplishment! That alone thrills me to death! It's nice to see my body finally doing something right when it comes to female stuff. :-) Please help us be pregnant this month. I think we've timed everything right and now we're in the 2 week wait. I've had some symptoms already and they have my mind a wondering. :-) Please help this time be it...help us have the baby(ies) that we've been trying so hard for. It would be a wonderful birthday present for Miss Deidra too to be able to tell her that she's finally going to get to be a big sister like she's been wanting for so long. Thank you, Abba.