Monday, October 30, 2006

Corey just called me...

he's my supervisor from my old store that just lost his Dad. He didn't recognize my number but he said that the text message I sent was so sweet that he had to call and find out who it was from. We just talked and talked for about the last half an hour about his Dad and he seems to be holding up ok. His mom is a mess. He said he's struggling with guilt though as he hadn't been talking to his mother for the last 3 months and just started talking to her again about a week ago before she had her hysterectomy. 2 days after that they lost his Dad. He's struggling with the fact that he and his girlfriend are expecting a baby and his sister that just got married this summer is also expecting and he's upset that they'll never know their grandfather and his Dad will never get to see them or experience being a grandma. Corey's mom is furious that Corey's girlfriend is pregnant (hence the reason that Corey wasn't speaking to her), but I told him to hang in there and that maybe when the baby comes she'll come around. It was good to talk to him though and catch up and when he went to hang up he said "I love ya, Jess, and thanks so much for thinking of us." I immediately teared up and all I could muster out was I am so sorry and I love you too." You know it's weird how you can miss people so much, but the minute you hear their voice you realize that although you've known that you've missed them you hadn't really realized how much you do. Does that even make sense?

Abba, I will continue to hold him and his family up in prayer. Please give them all some peace and comfort to cope with all of this. I pray for a quick recovery for Corey's mom with her surgery too. I pray for Corey's relationship with his mom too that there can be some healing there between all of them.

Friday, October 27, 2006

A sad loss....

A co-worker from my old Home Depot called yesterday. She was trying to track down a cell phone number and didn't know if I had it. She gave me some bad news about Corey, my old supervisor. His dad was killed on Tuesday night. I feel so horrible for him. I text messaged him yesterday and plan to call him in a few days. His family was so close and they just lost his grandfather this summer and Corey had a hard time dealing with that one that I know that this has got to me majorly tearing him up. It brings back memories of losing my mom too and I know that losing a parent is one of the majorly hardest things that you ever have to deal with and this was just so unexpected as well that I just feel so awful for him. I wanted to call him last night, but I didn't know if I should right away or if I should give the family a few days to deal with the shock of it all first. Anyway, I went and found the newspaper article that was written about it. It's hard to believe that a year ago, his Dad was riding all of us around on their little boat up at their cottage and now this happened. I think I'm going to have some flowers sent to the funeral home though. Abba, this was such a close-knit family and I know this has to be so hard for all of them. Please give this family some peace and comfort during this difficult time. I lift Corey's Mom, Corey and his 3 sisters up in prayer.

IONIA COUNTY -- A Portland man was killed Tuesday as he was cutting trees in Ionia County's Orange Township, and a large branch fell and struck him, Ionia sheriff's deputies said. Ryan Sandborn, 48, was pronounced dead after the 7:30 p.m. accident that left him trapped underneath a tree branch on Keefer Highway near East Grand River Avenue. Police said Sandborn was cutting wood when one felled tree wedged against a standing tree. The man tried to cut the stuck tree free, causing the branch to break and fall.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Work Issues

Abba, please guide me in the direction that I need to go on with my job. I'm getting the run around at work and am so sick of getting scheduled over my availability every week and then dealing with the stresses of either finding someone to switch with me or getting my supervisor to let me leave early. They just let a couple other girls switch their availability during the week as well and now apparently there's 5 of us that can't work past 2 o'clock. The supervisor is upset at the situation and now she's only giving us minimal hours...part of that I can understand as she can't have 5 of us all up there at the same time, but then she just told me that I can't have the week of Thanksgiving off because other people asked for it off already. I put in to take my vacation and me being nice just asked for Monday-Friday. She won't even let me have that. I asked her if she noticed that I wanted to take that as vacation and I wasn't just requesting the time off. I was always told that a vacation request came before a time off request. She told me that it was first come first serve and I put in the request too late. Now, I guess I'm going to have to leave an hour and a half before my shifts that week and drive her to my Mom's house so my younger brother can watch her. They live a half an hour away. I'm just so miffed. I know if I found a babysitter I'd get more hours more than likely, but yet I don't trust anyone to drop her off in home daycare as we haven't lived down here all that long yet and all the people that I know down here besides my Mom are the people that I work with. I'm just so stressed out. The whole reason that I accepted the part-time transfer was because I could say what hours I wanted to work from. I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe it really is time to start looking for something else...I just don't want to have to start all over again or deal with the same issues someplace else. And I don't want to have to put her back in daycare.... What to do? What to do? Please give me some direction. I know there's quite a few of us at work with small children and other issues and we're all really feeling stressed about the whole situation.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Birthday blessings for my hubby.

Abba, please bless Andy today. Today is his 31st birthday. I pray that he will have a wonderful year of happiness and health and that it will be full of love. I pray that his dreams will come true for him this year and that each day will bring him closer and closer to achieving what he wants out of life. I pray that he'll always be surrounded with love and support and that he'll always know how much he truly means to us. Bless him today and everyday in his 31st year of life. Thank you, Abba, for looking over him.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

God and religion

Are you and your significant other on the same page about God and religion? If not, does it create conflict or how do you resolve those issues?

Well, Andy and I haven't always been on the same page. While we both believed in God, he grew up Methodist and I grew up Catholic. A lot of our early marital fights were about religion. I wanted us to go to church, but the question was where. I wanted to go to Catholic church and he didn't feel comfortable there. I didn't just want to give up my faith as that was truly where I was comfortable and I wanted us to be on the same page when kids came into the picture or I really thought we were going to have troubles. He told me he had no problem with me raising the kids to be Catholic, he just didn't want to convert. All I kept seeing is what happened in my house growing up...Dad doesn't go to church, why should we have to go? We compromised by picking a Presbyterian church that we were married at to go to one Sunday and then we'd go to the Catholic church the next and we started alternating. After more fighting that we still didn't feel comfortable in the other churches, we quit going altogether. I spent a lot of time in prayer praying about what to do and how to solve the differences. Finally once Deidra was born and we talked again, he agreed to go throught he classes to learn more about the Catholic church and then go from there. I was just happy that he agreed to do that. Turns out a lot of his hold ups about the church, was just a lot of misinformation that he had been given and he realized during the class that he had just been confused about it all because he had been misinformed. After the class was over, he took the sacraments and converted. We've definitely grown a lot closer by being able to share God with one another and worship together in the same way. There's no's brought our family unity...we're on different levels of understanding God and purpose sometimes, but it's a work in progress and we're growing toward God in our marriage and that's something that brings peace into the marriage as well.

Car troubles and weather...

Well, Andy woke me up this morning to tell me that his car was dead. He thought it was the starter. Got things around and took Deidra to school, I called work to tell them that I may be late, and took Andy up to Mom's dealership so that we could borrow some jumper cables. Mom told me that if it was the starter the jumper cables weren't going to help, but I figured it was better to try than to have to call a tow truck and pay a towing bill if we really didn't have to. Came home and jumped the started. YEAH! Drove back up to the dealership and they determined that the battery was just bad. Got a new battery put in and he went off to work and I made it to work on time afterall. Thank you, Lord, that it wasn't something that was going to cost us bukoo bucks and thank you for Mom's discount as well. We thought that it was going to cost us a whole lot more money today than what it actually did seeing as to how it was just the battery.

I had to laugh though...we finally had a really cool day here. We were standing outside the dealership and it was only in the low 50s. We were all shivering and they told us to take the car inside to look at was too cold to stand outside. I honestly can't believe that I'm a northern girl who's used to it being VERY cold and yet I was shivering in 50 degree weather like I was in the middle of cold wind chills and freezing wind. Even when I left work an hour ago, the weather is only 63 degrees. As long as the wind isn't blowing, I'm ok in the sun...but if I get into the shade or the wind starts blowing, I start to shiver. I never thought I'd lose my northern blood this fast. lol. It does finally feel like fall though down here (well today anyway, since yesterday was something like 88 degres). It's a nice change from the heat though. Thank you for the beautiful weather, Abba.

Man am I bloated...

I'm not due for my period for another week yet and I am already so bloated and I've been noticing some cramps as well. I had to look at the calendar to see if I was due already, but I shouldn't be starting for another week or so. My stomach is so hard as well. I guess I'll keep pushing the fluids and hope that helps to get rid of some of the water weight and will ease the bloating. I just hope that this isn't a sign that I'm going to have a rough period as my MIL is coming into town this coming weekend.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Texas State Fair

Well, Deidra got the day off from school to go to the fair. if anyone wants to see what the Texas State Fair is all about. All the kids in our school district get the day off to go to it and they get in for free. It started off as a rainy day, but we decided to go anyway. I'm so glad that we did. My mom went with us. We all had the day off of work. Andy took a vacation day to go with us too. Anyway, we left around 8:30 to go get Mom, we ran to the bank, and headed out to Fair Park. Fair Park is a lot like Navy Pier where as all the museums and aquarium, planetarium, and all that is all one campus. Only difference is that it's not on the water down here. :-) Anyway, we got down there around 9:30-10 am and it was raining pretty hard. We went in and hit one of the arts and crafts barns to get out of the rain. Lots of cool stuff to look at. Then, we went into the huge animal farm that they had set up for the kids. Lots of goats, pigs, and they had some unique animals as well. They had a baby giraffe that you could feed, a kangaroo family (mommy, daddy, and baby riding around in mommy's pouch) that we got to pet. At one point, mommy kicked the baby out of the pouch and we got to see him hop around. I didn't get to pet the baby as he was a bit shy and wouldn't come around the people. But, the mommy and daddy let us pet them and I was amazed at how soft they really are. They had zebras too as well as horses and cows. We fed ostriches and emus and buffalo too. Very cool exhibit. We ate some great food and even tried some fried coke. That actually was very good. They fried up some dough that they injected with coke and put warm coke in the bottom of the glass. Then they topped it with whipped cream. Very good! I blew my diet because I wanted to try it, but heck...we only get to do stuff like that every once in awhile. We visited a lot of arts and crafts exhibits, played a couple games to win a stuffed animal for D, rode the ferris wheel as a family, and Deidra rode the kiddie coaster caterpillar. We walked through a lot of exhibits, saw the auto show, visited a few museums, and saw the cow milking process. Visited some cool stores and watched the marine corp drum and bugle corp perform. That brought tears to my eyes. Afterwards, we talked with the fellow french horn players for a little while and then we went and got some dinner, watched the parade, and walked around a bit more before heading home. It was an aewsome day and the rain didn't last long at all. The weather was absolutely beautiful and the rain apparently kept some people away as the fair wasn't very busy. Steady, but not overly overcrowded. Deidra got a new pink cowgirl hat to go with her pink suede cowgirl boots and a Tinkerbell purse and wallet. She made out like the bandit. We all had a great day and I am so thankful of the time that we got to spend together.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

We could have had a code adam yesterday...

Thank you so much, Abba, for bringing her home safely and for letting the right people take care of her. I keep playing the what if game in my head and I keep seeing flashing police car lights in my mind.

This is what happened yesterday...

I went and got Deidra from school, things were going pretty normally. She watched some tv, ate her snack, played dress-up in her room, then around 4:30 she wanted to go outside. She was playing in the front yard with the kitty and she'd come in and out. I was answering some ebay questions and trying to clean up a little bit. Finally, I realized that she hadn't been inside in a few minutes and I went to check on her. She wasn't in the front yard so I figured she must have went in the back yard. went back there and she wasn't back there. I called for her and didn't get an answer. Went back in the house and checked for her wondering if we were just on opposite sides of the house or something and she had gone inside while I was walking to the backyard. No sign of her. I did laps around the house 3 times, asked the neighbors if they had seen her since they were outside getting ready to go somewhere. No sign of her. It was then that I started getting panicky. I kept calling for her and no answer.

I walked back in and saw that it was 5 o'clock. I started to cry and my mind went completely blank when I tried to call Andy. I looked for my cell phone since his numbers were pre-programmed in there. I told him that I was going to walk up to the church to see if she tried to go to the playground or something. She's never ever left her yard before and since we don't know neighbors and we don't really seem to have little kids on the street, I had no idea where to look for her other than there. I took my cell phone and ran up there. No Deidra. I ran back to the house and called my Mom. Andy was still an hour away and I needed someone to be there with me. They paged her twice and no answer and then Andy beeped in. I answered the call and then our regular house phone rang. I answered it thinking it was going to be my was the school principal. Deidra was at the school. She had wandered away from home and couldn't find her way back. She wound up telling someone that she was lost. She knew our names, her own name, and couldn't remember her street address, but she knew which school she went too. They called the police and the police took her to the school and they were able to call me from there. I was 2 seconds away from calling the police when they called me. The principal told me that the neighbors were willing to transport her back to the house...seeing as to the fact that I didn't know who they were and who had even brought her up to the school at that point, I said that I would feel more comfortable if they kept her where she was and I would come get her. We only live a couple blocks from the school.

Deidra was crying for me and when I walked in the door, I didn't know whether to yell at her or hug her I had been so worried. The cops told me that as far as they were concerned that it was a done deal, they weren't going to do anything to me this time, but take some notes on what happened. I don't plan on there ever being a next time. The principals ID'd me and then we were told that we could go. At that point, I was a little miffed that they were going to let the neighbors (that I didn't even know) take her back home, but I'm someone that they see everday and I'm getting ID'd. I guess I would have been mad though had they not done that either.

She had told the cops that she told me that she was going to a friend's house. Of couse, she never told me that and she told me when I was putting her in the car, that she forgot to tell me what she was doing. I told her that she doesn't know anybody on our street, so I didn't understand what happened. I told her that I had been out looking for her. We went home and I was able to call Andy and my Mom and tell them that all that happened and that she was fine. Deidra wouldn't talk to me about where she was found and who found her and how she got up to the school at first. After we both calmed down, I asked her to go on a walk with me and see where she went. We went up our street both ways and to a few cross streets both ways and what it came down to was she didn't remember. I did get out of her finally that 2 boys were playing outside and she told them that she was lost. They took her inside their house and the cops were called. The cops came and got her and asked her some questions and they took her to the school. It was the cops that were going to bring her home, I guess....but the principal had told me the neighbors. I'm still glad that I went up there. I didn't want her anywhere else to wonder where she was or who she was with.

We made up a few new rules with her though last night and I don't think she'll be leaving the yard anytime soon. It scared her pretty bad. She's not to play in the front yard anymore though unless she has Andy or I outside with her and I'm putting padlocks on the gates in the back and she's only to play out there from now on since it's all fenced in. She finally told us last night that she chased a kitty down the street and when she looked up, she didn't know where she was or how to get back home.

I just thank the Lord, that she was found in the right hands and that she's back home safe and sound. I've been feeling pretty guilty that I didn't have a closer eye on her in that few minutes for her to wind up missing and especially when I heard the police officers say that they weren't going to do anything to me this time. I wasn't in the right frame of mind when I was there to really ask them some questions that I've thought about. I'm going to talk to the principals on Tuesday when school starts up again (they have Monday off) to see what they can tell me. I've apologized over and over to Andy for that and I just feel horrible that it happened. My Mom keeps telling me that it could have happened to anyone and it's not the first or the last time that it's going to happen to someone. I just don't ever want it to happen to me again. I think it scared Deidra pretty bad too that she won't wander away like that again anytime soon.

I told my Mom that I will not ever judge someone for losing their child again. It was a matter of 10-15 minutes for that to happen and she was missing for about a half an hour. We're definitely not letting her out of our sight for a long time. I never thought that we'd deal with this as she has always known the rule and followed it that you don't leave your yard until now.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Flower Bulb Fundraiser

Abba, please help us do well with this fundraiser.

Hi everyone! I started my fall flower bulb fundraiser yesterday and just wanted to pass the word along. Some of you have asked me to let you know when I had more of them. I'm taking orders for the next 2-3 weeks and then I'll call in the final order. It'll take me about a week to get them from that point and then I'll ship them within 24 hours of getting them. This all helps us get one step closer to starting the adoption process to bring home a baby girl from China. If you want to see pics of any of them, I have some up for auction on ebay and all of them are in my ebay store under the "Flower Bulbs" tab. :-)

All the flower bulb lots are $5 a piece. Here's what I have:

A -- 9 Mixed Daffodils
B -- 6 King Alfred Daffodils
C -- 8 Pastel Tulips
D -- 6 Angelique Tulips
E -- 4 Indoor Paper White Narcissus and 1 Container
F -- 15 Snow Bunch Crocus
G -- 3 New Tiger Lilies
H -- 8 Purple Passion
I -- 18 Heavenly Blue Bells
J -- 9 Giant Tulips
K -- 4 Super Color Hyacinths
L -- 12 Grecian Windflowers
M -- 15 Purple Drumsticks
N -- 18 Dainty Dutch Iris
O -- 9 General Eisenhower Tulips
P -- 16 Holland Charms
Q -- 24 Alpine Bells

Let me know if you would like any. :-)

To read about our adoption journey to our baby girl in
Check out my ebay auctions at:
Visit my ebay store at:

Feeling sad...but motivated...

Abba, You bring peace to me in this whole situation when I really look at the fact that I can't make this happen and I have to trust in Your Perfect Timing. Help lift my spirits and help us be able to keep moving forward towards our goals.

After my car was broken into, we cleaned out the garage so we could get my car inside. Andy wanted to throw out all of our old baby stuff...the crib, the high chair, the baby swing, the bouncy seat, and the activity center seat. It's all sitting outside for the garbage man to come (well, some people have already stopped and picked some stuff up that they apparently wanted). He said he was tired of playing "what ifs" and we don't have the room and he just wanted it gone. I took that to mean that he didn't want to do the adoption now. He told me that he still wanted to do it, but he said that when the baby comes home or if by chance we ever do get pregnant again, that we'd go out and buy the stuff again. It's just hard to let that stuff go....

However, I am letting it motivate me to get my newest fundraisers set up to get to that next stage of actually being able to start the process to bring our baby girl home.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


Abba, take these dreams of mine and make them into as much of a reality and gift as You'll give me. :-)

Well, some of you know that I've had dreams of having my own scrapbook store for quite awhile now. I was venting to my Mom the other week about how Home Depot can't seem to get my schedule right and I'm getting quite sick of it. She told me that there's always other opportunities out there. She said "Jess, you've got this enormous gift to scrapbook and I don't know why you don't get more into that." I told her that I've wanted my own store for quite awhile, but I've never made it anything other than a dream.... She said that she wasn't really talking about that although that would be something to work towards, but she said that she didn't know why I didn't scrap for other people. The thought scares me a little and I know it can be a very competitive field to try and get into, but I figured that I'd never know what can happen unless I try. So, I've challenged a friend that's wanted to get into doing this also and she's going to make up a book and I'm going to make up a book and the 1st of November is our goal to get them up on ebay.

I'd love to have an online store with a store front one day. I could host crops online and in my store. Andy wants to get into doing customized quilling and I could give him his own little nook doing that. And if this pre-made album thing takes off, I can enlist the help of my friend doing that as well. I had the thought of even making up my Gourmet to Go items and selling desserts and stuff during the crops to feed everyone.

I'm excited about everything though, but am going to take babysteps to meet my goal. I'm excited to see where this takes us though...

Just wanted to share...

Just had parent-teacher conferences with Deidra's teacher...

Abba, thanks so much for helping Deidra with doing so well in school and I continue to pray for her safety and protection at school.

Conferences went really well. Mrs. Morgan thinks that she is one sweet and smart little girl. She said that she prefers to be a leader, but that's a good thing. She's writing uppercase and lowercase letters properly (all but 3...she writes her Ws with one extra leg...and her Ss she kind of slants in there and her j's she makes backwards). She said they aren't really expected to know all that until the end of the school year, but it's great that Deidra already knows most of hers. She said that she's learned a lot of the frequent reader words that they're not expected to know until the end of the year, so she thinks that Deidra is really going to take off with reading before too long. She's already been reading her level I books very very well. She thinks Deidra will be reading chapter books before too long on her own and they're not expected to do those before the end of the year and early first grade. She said that her math teacher Mrs. Black thinks that she's very smart as well and she's thriving in school. She's got very good classroom conduct and is very outgoing. She loves to participate and is a little competitive with the other kids about what she knows. She wants to keep up with the boys who are adding 3 sets of numbers together and she gets mad when they know the answers before she does. lol She said that anyone that she's around just loves her, so she's really doing great. She gave me some recommendations on books to read with her (Dick and Jane and Dr. Seuss and any of the early reader level 2s at Barnes and Noble) and flashcards to make up to get her to that next level of reading and she said that we have nothing to worry about. She's doing wonderfully. I was very proud to know that she's mastered some things that aren't expected of her until the end of the school year already. We'll keep working with her too and take her as far as she'll let us take her. :-)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

3 Question Personality Test

Your Personality Is
Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.
The Three Question Personality Test

My little girl is growing up....

I was worried about picture day today...I was praying that she wouldn't lose any teeth before pics and she made it. She spent the night with my Mom after we went to Screams on Friday night. She came home on Saturday and had to tell us that she found out that she had a loose tooth and was now a big girl. By the time, I got home from work Saturday night, they discovered that she had her two front teeth (upper) and the one directly next to them that are all loose. Loose teeth sceeve me out, so I have already told her that I'll inform the tooth fairy when she looses them, but if she needs help pulling them when they're that loose, Daddy is going to help her. She thinks it's funny, but that's just one thing that I can't stand to see....I can handle blood and guts but just not that. lol. She wants the tooth fairy to come visit her before her 6th birthday and I think she just may get her wish....

Feeling violated...

Hi Abba, please help keep us and our things safe from harm.

So, it majorly started downpouring early this morning. Deidra has picture day at school this morning so I was trying to figure out a way to get the car into the garage (it's still got stuff from moving day in there) so that I can keep her dry. I go out to the car to find my door half open and the stuff in my glove box all over the passenger seat. At first, I thought that Andy did it getting my cell phone out of my car so that he had a way to get me up this morning since he went in early. Then, I realize that there's CDs all over the driver's side floor. I went inside and called him and he said he didn't even touch my car this morning and that's when it hit me that someone broke into it. I went back out there and it's not like I had anything valuable in there, but what I'm worried about is that we keep all my car receipts and warranties in my glove box and I'm just worried that somebody could have gotten ahold of our bank card numbers or something now. It was great though to have to clean up a huge old mess in the pouring rain. I got drenched doing in, pulled the front half of the car into the garage to get Deidra in...ran inside to close the garage door and we were off to school. Nobody wanted their kids getting wet on picture day so it was slow going. I was cold from being sopping wet and I still had to get to work. I half ran across the parking lot before I decided that it was no use given how wet I was anyway. Got in trouble when I got up front over something that happened this weekend that was totally stupid and then got into it again over my stupid schedule. I really wish she'd start understanding that when I say I can't work any later than 2:30pm and even that is pushing it as D needs to be picked up by 2:40 that she'd understand that and quit scheduling me to work til 3 or 4 as all that does is create more stress for me. And I feel that it's her error, she needs to fix it...not it's my schedule...I need to fix it. Then, they sent me home after being there for an hour and a half because of the rain and no customers. I'm just irritated. I think I'm going to go veg in front of the tv until I need to go get Deidra. And I think I'm going to start looking at houses again for when our lease is up here and I'm seriously starting to think about getting a dog.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Desperate Households Part 7 -- Desperate for Financial Freedom

Abba, please help us to all receive financial freedom. Give us the peace and responsibility to live within our means. Help us to be happy and content with what we have and give us the ability to live with what we have and our given. Help us to entangle ourselves from debts and bills and live responsibly.


This is the last sermon on Desperate Households playing off the Desperate Housewives series.

God loves us all and wants us to live a purpose-filled life and allow Him to speak to us and He wants us to respond to Him. When God is prompting us to make changes in our lives, we need to make those changes.

Money is near and dear to all of our hearts. It shows the desires and direction of our heart. Look at your checkbook and see where your money is going and see where your priorities are in life... what are you spending your money on?

4 principles to help you in your life and be prosperous in life, relationship, and finances.

1 Timothy Chapter 6:6-10. We need to be content with what we have.

6But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 9People who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge men into ruin and destruction. 10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.

The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Do not become obsessed with having more and more money and more and more material things. Be content with what you have.

Our world is trying to get to your obsession and your desires with all the advertisements that we see. We think we can buy happiness and Satan deceives that we can. True happiness comes from God.

1st principle. Avoid debt. You can live a life of freedom if you avoid debt. Most homes have at least 6 credit cards and are paying off 4. Credit cards make over 75% of their revenue off of your inability to pay off your card each and every month.

God doesn't say that we can't borrow. Proverbs 22:7.

7 The rich rule over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender.

If you borrow, you better have the intentions of paying it back. You do become slave to the lender. If you have an emergency happen in your life, you panic and you get more and more cards until another emergency happens and the charges add up. This debt is not healthy. Some debts like owning a home, is responsible. We need to think about our purchases before we buy them. Be slow and deliberate in your up money...look for sales. Be responsible on how you live. Financial peace isn't about obtaining more money to buy more things it's learning to be how to be responsible stewards over the money that you already have.

4 traps that we fall into when it comes to money:
We overestimate the importance of wealth.
We want instant gratification.
We don't anticipate hard times. Too many people live paycheck to paycheck.
We spend more than our resources allow.

Things we can do to avoid the traps.
Accept responsibility.
Acknowledge the bondage in your life.
Come up with a plan to get out of it.

2nd principle... Budget. Tell your money where to go instead of letting your money tell you where it went. Keep a record of what you spend. Married couples need to do their budget together and stick to the budget. Pay bills as they come in. Get rid of the smallest bill first and then move on to the next one on and on up until the biggest one is paid off.

3rd principle. Invest. We need to save for things later in life.

4th principle. Giving to God. Be a generous giver. Be willing to share with others. God has given you a desire to give. Honor the Lord with your wealth. We need to be generous to those who are in need. We need to give what is God's back to Him as well.

God only gives us what is intended for us. We need to manage what we have responsibly. We leave this earth with exactly what we came in with. What matters is where our hearts lie.

Desperate Households Part 6 -- Desperate for Sexual Fulfillment

Abba, please help all of us stay within our marriage vows and make our marriages what you intended them to be. Help us learn to love one another as we all deserve to be loved. Help us to be there for our spouses to meet all of their sexual intimacy needs and to always be available to them. Help our marriages to stay strong and forgive us for anything that we've done wrong to our marriage covenants already and put us back on the correct paths to start anew if we need it.


Most people in past generations have avoided the topic of sex and sexual intimacy. Most people leave it to the schools to teach about sex ed. The family needs to teach the children about this in a positive way. Government thinks teaching abstinence to kids is irresponsible.

It's ok to talk about sex and it's healthy and God wants to talk about it. We're going to talk about it in a G-rated way. Children are picking up on ways of love as early as the age of 4. The Bible pretty much says about sex that if you're single, you can't have any. If you're married, you can pretty much shop until you drop.

You're the only legitimate source of romance in your spouse's life. You're #1 person at meeting your spouse's romantic needs.

Avoid all forms of sexual immorality...

40 mil people are sexually involved in some form over the internet. Be have to be careful about what we listen to and watch and watch how we are dressing.

God said that he made one man and one woman so that they could become one flesh. He gave us the gift of intimacy. He wants us to bond with one another and go foward and multiply (have kids).

Some research recently found that the youth who watch a lot of programming with sexual connotations that you're twice as likely to have sex than those who watch very little of this programming. Parents need to be aware of what you're using to entertain your kids while you're trying to get other things done. Even cartoons can teach bad stuff.

When we sleep with other people before marriage, we rob that special person of that gift of saving yourself for marriage. When we have affairs outside of marriage, we remove the bond of intimacy that God gave us in marriage.

God sees all the paths that we take, nothing is done in secret. Seeking sexual fulfillment outside of marriage will only put you in bondage. You break the covenant of marriage when that happens and break the vows of marriage. Don't give in to peer pressure and believe that what God tell us is right and true.

Proverbs 5:15-18 (God's plan for strengthening intimacy in marriage)

15 Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well.
16 Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares?
17 Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers.
18 May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

We must keep our distance from those who seek to draw us into sin. It is our responsibility to be responsibile for ourself. It is nobody's fault but our own if we fall into temptation. Move yourself from the temptation.

Husbands and wives, your needs were not given to you to share with strangers. Never share them with strangers. Husbands and wives, you must be available for one another. Keep your marriage in proper working order. If there's a marriage that's not properly working, that's not justification to seek fulfillment outside of the marraige.

Those of us, who have had past sexual relationships, have been married before or a couple of times, or those of us who have had babies outside of marriage...God has something unique for you. Truthfully access where you are right now. Let God know that you know where you are. We all mistakes. Embrace God's forgiveness and healing and make a new start and give yourself a fresh beginning to start over on the path to proper sexual fulfillment. Seek God's graces...God will always heal us...we just have to go to Him with our problems and issues.

Grateful Friday

Abba, I just wanted to praise you and thank you for blessing me in my life. These are just a few things that I am thankful for today.

That I was able to surprise my Mom at work with flowers and balloons for her 50th birthday today! Bless her today and everyday, Abba.

For my beautiful and sweet daughter who has such a beautiful spirit.

For my wonderful husband who has been so good to me.

For a loving and forgiving God who loves me more than I could possibly understand.

That I have the day off from work.

Monday, October 02, 2006

My brother, Zach

Abba, I put this situation with Zach into your Hands. I ask you to keep him safe and protected during this time in his life and I ask you to help him learn to be respectful and give him a sense of what his responsibilities are in life.

Well, I have had a bad feeling in my heart about my brother Zach for quite awhile now...all starting back a few months ago when I found his myspace page. He's very depressed and just getting himself into trouble. I knew that he was drinking and suspected that he was still doing drugs. Mom was in denial about it and just kept telling me that he said he wasn't doing that and she believed him. He enrolled back into school this year (he was supposed to graduate from high school in May) and he had been telling Mom that he had been going although he told her he had already missed all the days that he could miss. I asked her if she was sure he was going to school and that he wasn't already done and just not telling her. She had told him that she would help him get another car if he was enrolled in school and he's been hounding her about it left and right. Anyway, last week Thursday, she called the school to check on him and we were up there at the dealership picking up Andy's car. Turns out that Zach has never attended any school this year other than his first day (he got sent home for not observing dresscode) and they didn't even record attendance for any of the students that first day. Mom only knew that he was there as she had to go pick him up from school. But, that was the only day that he bothered to go. He's been lying to her ever since then saying for the last 6 weeks that he's been at school. He wrote her this demanding letter saying how he needed a car and he wanted another one within a month's time. He had to turn down playing with 2 bands and 1 job offer because he didn't have transportation and how disgusted he was at her as a mother for not helping him get on his feet and that was her responsibility. Anyway, then we find out that he's been lying to her about school and doing drugs....Mom found a smoke pipe in his room. She went home and confronted him and he told her that he had been to school, but he needed to see about getting his GED and when she confronted him about doing pot again, he didn't deny it. I felt sick to my stomach instantly the moment that I found out. I was so disappointed in him and I'm tired of seeing him hang around with these loser kids who are drop outs and are just not wanting to do anything with their lives but drink and do drugs and talk disrespectfully to their parents and others. Anyway, I wound up driving over to their house later that night as I wanted to talk to my brother. I told him how disappointed that I was and I told Mom that she needed to start being harder on him. He is going to be 19 in Jan and knows no sense of responsibility. He wants her to buy him a car (she already had bought him the one that he had been driving and had spent over $4k over the last few months repairing it from him being stupid and doing stupid things in it as well as giving him gas money after gas money after gas money from him running out of gas all the time). Then, he was driving the dumb thing around without insurance. I told him that he wants another car to get to a job he can find a cheap old clunker and if Mom pays for it, his paychecks need to get directly deposited into her bank account so that she knows that she is getting paid back and she can pay his insurance as well and then just write him a check for the difference. He doesn't want to do that. I told him that he's never paid back anyone anything that he said that he would including money that he stole from our other brother, Jimmie, and that if he wants the car then this is the way it should be. I also told him that I think he needs to get his GED by the time he was supposed to graduate this year and if he wasn't willing to do that, he needed to look at moving out. He is out all night long, sleeps all day, and does absolutely nothing around the house. He doesn't want anything to do with his family, unless he wants/needs something and I just think it's time that he learns responsibility the hard way. He got all mad at me and demanded that my Mom loan him her suburban so he could go to his friend's house....she told him no. If he wrecks her vehicle then she doesn't have a way to get back and forth to work. He told her that he wasn't going to be seen with her so she wasn't going to take him over there either. I told him that his attitude needed to change and he needed to learn some respect. He's 18 years old and he's not the parent and he doesn't get to make the rules or demand things. I told him that when I got my first car, I had to pay for half of it, I had to pay for my own gas and insurance, and there were no hand-outs from Mom and Dad. I didn't have gas money, I didn't go anywhere. I'm so sick of hearing him think that he's owed this or that. Life is rough sometimes kid...everything isn't just handed to you in life. I also told him that if he would have saved even half the money that he earned while he was working this summer that he could have bought the car that he wants in cash. But, he doesn't know how to save his money or spend it on worthwhile things. I kind of came down hard on my Mom too...I told her that she needed to quit enabling him to get away with being this way and she needed to practice tough love on him. If she doesn't the kid is going to get in a whole lot more trouble. Once again, she said that he had a really hard time with the divorce and she's felt that she owed this or that to him to make up for his Dad leaving. I told her that we all have shitty things happen to us in doesn't mean that you get special treatment for the rest of your life. Things happen, you deal with them the best way that you can, and you choose to move forward. I made her cry and I felt awful for that. I just pray that he learns to be respectful and responsible and learn the proper way to achieve things in life.

Desperate Households Part 5 -- Desperate for Direction

Abba, please take over as the pilots of our lives and of our relationships. Only You know the true direction of our lives and how to maneuver through it the proper way. We all have our own hills and valleys to muddle through, but only You know the way to get us through that. Let us relinquish control of our lives to You.


Jesus Take the Wheel...don't make him the co-pilot...make him the driver.

A lot of marriages are spiraling out of control. We're leading the world in divorce.

Sometimes, we look at our neighbors with the perfect family, perfect house, and they just seem like everything is going well for them. Things aren't always what they seem. Things may look perfect on the outside, but on the inside everything is out of control and falling apart.

We ignore God's direction for families at our own expense.

Roles have nothing to do with equality worth value, but a difference in function. We'll look at the roles of the husband, wife, and children.

Society teaches us that changing our roles in families is ok. We need to keep our families together. Families struggle over which roles are really for whom. Roles get mixed-up in families a lot.

Every person and relationship has some measure of dysfunction.

We all have something to work on. We need to give up control of our life to Jesus.

Husband's role is headship, leadership. It's not dominance, slavish or wanting wives and children to do evil. It is servant leadership. They need to be responsible and love their wives and children. Headship is not about cracking the whip around the house. Good capable leadership needs to be practiced when called upon. Set true example for children. It is not abusing your wives and children....wives and children do not need to submit to that. Serve families with all of your heart. Be loving at all times. Show your relationship with God by example. Keep Jesus first. You need to love your wife and love her fully until the day that you die. Not many tv shows show the husband as an intelligent being. Husbands are not to be undermined and mocked and made fun of. Husbands need to turn to scripture to see what your role in the home is. We may not like what is written there, it doesn't matter. This is God's plan for your life. What must change is our perspective on how we perceive it and accept it. His priority is to love his wife as God loved the church. We don't always trust in God to take care of our struggles...we try to fix it ourself. When everything is in control, then we turn to God. When times get tough again, we try to take over control. Jesus CAN take control of our life...every aspect of it. We just need to turn it over to him. We must go to Him with everything. He has never proven to be uncapable, but yet we blame Him when things go wrong. Give praise to your wife in front of your children. Hold hands and stay close to your wife in public...acknowledge your marriage and that you really love her to others. Men don't get caught up in something and forget about your wife and think that your life is just about you. We convey that in our actions sometimes. Make your wife #1 in your life.

Train and instruct your children in love. Don't be unreasonable. Don't be critical and praise your children. Don't neglect your children. This makes children feel unloved and not wanted.

Wives role is to submit to the leadership of the husband. Love him as you would unto Christ. The love and respect thing in marriage will not work if you both don't believe in Jesus Christ. Submission is you ducking so God can hit your husband, according to Beth Moore. :-) The wife must respect her husband in all aspects of life. Quit paying attention to the world, but to Jesus Christ and what he wants for us.

Meeting of the Parents...

I had to laugh when we went to church on Sunday. We got there later than usual and our usual seats had been we went and sat towards the back. We were sitting there for a few minutes when A (my guy friend from work) came in and sat behind us (in his usual spot). I never know what service he's going to be at as he doesn't always go to 8 am like we do. Anyway, it didn't look like Mom was going to make it at first and then she walked in with my brother Jimmie at the start of mass. Mom looked at me at one point during the mass and she had a strange smile on her face. I looked at her and said "what?" and she just shook her head "nothing." We went through mass and I was going to introduce A to Mom as Mom has really wanted to meet him. We've had some issues with my brother, Zach, this week and A hit the nail on the head about something not even knowing what was going on. I had told Mom and that only made her want to meet him even more. Anyway, A got up and left really quick before I could notice after mass. So, I didn't get the chance to even tell her who he was. We were leaving the church and Mom says to me "A was sitting right behind you wasn't he?" I looked at her in shock. How did she know when they hadn't even been introduced? Anyway, I went to take D to class after church and I came back to find Mom talking to A. He never stays after mass. So, A told me that he had just met my Mom and he started to talk to me for awhile. Then, he pointed out his Dad to me and we got to talking about our families. His dad bent down and picked this little girl up and A said to me "isn't that your daughter?" The little girl looked very similar to D right down to the clothes that she was wearing, but it wasn't her. I told A that I just brought her to Sunday school, but that wasn't her. A said that he thought that D was just beautiful. I guess she turned toward him during mass and he said he was just stunned at how beautiful that she was. I told him that he'd seen her before, but he said that he never really looked at her before...he's always seen her from the back. He said to me "She's truly a gift from God...she's very beautiful and she's very well-behaved." I was touched. Anyway, my little brother had come up to introduce himself and Mom asked him something about Kimber (this is the girl that Mom wants my brother to marry someday...but my brother is more interested in football than girls). Anyway, she reminded him again that he needed to be interested in girls that share his own faith and that they both needed to remain pure. That was a little awkward in front of A and his father. Then, Mom turns to A and she says "you sure do have the gift of the holy spirit and you're more than welcome to keep my daughter in line anytime and you're always welcome to sit with us in mass or come to the house or anything." I said "oh oh, you're a member of the family now." He laughed and then joked that he doesn't keep anything in line...he just says what God puts on his heart. We both turned to one another and asked if we were working today and what time. Then, we got to talking about what our parents do for livings. We said our good-byes and Mom asked me if I'd walk over to the gift store with her. She got distracted by about 10 people on the way over there and as we were walking around the corner (I thought that A had already left) she says to me "that A is one fine looking boy." I made the comment that if I was only a little younger or had never been married before...if I was a single girl I'd snatch him up in a heartbeat. We rounded the corner and he's sitting right there on the bench. I instantly blushed. Mom said "he didn't hear you." I told her "oh yes, he did...that boy has ears like a hawk." He looked up and winked at me. He was being the gentleman so I didn't get embarassed. And meeting A's dad...I figured out why A is always reminding me to be submissive. Very good family though... But, I told A that he's officially been adopted into the family now. :-)