Friday, November 30, 2007

Security Deposit

Well, Andy went and got the check for our security deposit. She re-nigged (sp?) though and took out the carpet cleaning fee for $80. That makes me mad in a way because they originally agreed that since they were replacing the carpet that she'd give us the whole thing back and then by the time he got there, she had changed her mind. I was talking to my Mom about it...I'm thrilled to have our $820 back and I don't want to seem greedy, but I really feel that we should have been given the $900. My Mom said "Jess, they come in here for car parts (I was talking to her at work) and God has a way of seeing all things. What goes around comes around...God will take care of them." So...I feel better about things and at least we have the majority of it back. I just wish they would have been honest and gave us all of it back.

Thank you, Abba, for an answered prayer.

Phoenix Zoo

I used Jamie Rousselle's Doing the Zoo kit for this one and MMCs Wacky Zoo alphabet as well. This one was a lot of fun to make.

page 1...



page 2....

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Woo Hoo and a Rent Question

We sold a bunch of stuff on ebay this month and we sold about $575 worth of stuff. Of course, we still gotta take all of our fees out before we can see our net profit, but that will definitely come in handy this time of year.

Also, does anyone know how long a landlord has to give you a security deposit back? We moved out of our rental house on October 13 fully. We paid October's rent in full. We cleaned the place from top to bottom and it looked better than when we moved in there. We let them know our new addressand when we moved. They have still yet to give us our deposit back. We called them a couple of weeks ago and she said they'd been out of town for 2 weeks and they'd stop by to give us the check. They are an elderly couple and the guy is almost deaf, so I refuse to call them and have been leaving it to Andy. I told him today to call them and ask if we could stop by their house and pick up the check today as we need to get that money back...it's making me nervous. If it wasn't almost $900 I wouldn't worry so much, but I would have thought that they would have given us our money back by now.

Abba, please help us to get our security deposit back by the end of today or asap. It really is making me nervous about it.

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Full House on Christmas

Big M came down to play with the girls yesterday. Deidra ran down and got him and they played outside for awhile. Baby D was napping at the time. I got some pics of Big M with Little J and he was shocked that I wanted pics of him. He's really a cute little guy and he's so sweet. I came back inside and the kids were riding bikes/scooters outside. Little J got hurt and Big M took good care of her. He cares so much about his siblings, but it really bothers me that he doesn't know how to just be a kid and is always trying to tend to them. Not in a mad sort of way...just that it hurts that he's had to be the daddy figure to his siblings. He really is great with them though. Anyway, I got Little J all fixed up and they started playing in the house. Baby D and Baby J woke up and Big M went up and got them for me. He played with the babies off and on and then he looked at me and asked what we were doing for Christmas. I told him that we were just probably going to have it here and we were going to have my family over. He asked me if he could come down on Christmas Day and spend the night with us and I told him that we'd be glad to have him. He wants me to talk to his fostermom and I told him that I'd write her a letter for him to give to her and I'd also talk to the CPS worker about it also. I'm sure it will be fine. He told me how much he really likes it at our house and he likes us a lot. The only thing I struggle with right now about letting him move in here is that I don't want him to see his place here as having to take care of his little brother and sister...I want him just to be a kid. However, he tells me all the time when Baby D needs his diaper changed and all that and I just don't know that I really want an 11-year-old telling me what to do or anything. Little J gets really upset at me when I have to scold Baby D for something and she will try to baby him. She gets mad when I tell her that he's fine, he's just upset because he got corrected on something and she can't baby him right now. So, I just don't know how Big M would do on that either. I guess I keep praying about it and we see how Christmas goes if he spends the night. I am looking forward to having him here though and I'll put a few presents under the tree for him too from us (as Little J and Baby D are going to get him their own gifts picked out by them).

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Britney Spears Adopting from China?

So, I'm driving down the road and listening to the radio gossip when I hear the news that Britney Spears is wanting to adopt 2 children from China. If they really give her a passing home study, I'll be so upset. I feel bad for the girl in things that she's been through and all the negative attention that she's gotten...but she can't keep her act together with the children that she has...I get tired of being put through the wringer all the time myself and having to jump through hoops to foster and I know friends who have adopted internationally and domestically and you really do have people into your business and so forth and it's not an easy thing to go through and then these actors and actresses almost seem to breeze through the process so easily...why? Just because they're famous or they have lots of money that your average joe people don't have...doesn't mean that they should just have children handed to them or the process sped up just because they're famous...or rules looked over just because they're famous. I don't know...but hearing this really angered me this morning. China has a rule that you can only adopt one child at a time, unless it's twins...(last I knew anyway)...so if they break this rule because it's Britney Spears...that will really make me mad.

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My embarrassing moment of the day already...

I had to run to Wal-mart for printer paper to get all my paperwork ready to turn into the agency for end-of-the-month paperwork and I had to get onesies for Baby J and training pants to start potty training Baby D next week. We were running late to get the girls to school and so I just ran them up to school in the clothes I wore to bed last night. I completely forgot that I had taken my bra off. I got them to school and figured I'd just run to Wal-mart really quick with the boys before it was time for Baby J to take his morning nap. I get into Wal-mart and something didn't feel right...it was at that moment that I ran into someone I knew that I realized I totally didn't have a bra on. So embarrassing!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

The Needle



I used a kit called Arizona Fantasy by Creative Victorian for this page.

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Please let us all of this work out...

Andy's work Christmas party is next Saturday. I have arranged respite for the foster kids from that night to early Sunday morning. That's not a problem. My brother's football team is in the playoffs starting this weekend and I had asked him if he minded staying overnight next weekend to watch Deidra for us. He didn't mind at all, but Mom pointed out to me today that everything is still really up in the air as it all depends on if they win this weekend. If they do, he'll have a game next Saturday (the night of the party). He won't know where he's playing or what time the game is until later on. Abba, please let this all work out so that he's able to watch Deidra. We could use some time to ourselves without the kids.

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Marina Cafe

I used Jamie Rousselle's Studded Flower quick page for this page.



I used Jamie Rousselle's Studded Flower kit for this page too and I added the blue silk flower from the Hannakah (sp?) kit at Scrapbook Flair.

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Bummed...

Ever since the miscarriage back in October, I've toyed with the idea in my mind of finding another doctor who would let me go back on clomid (without all the monitoring) as the medicine is affordable, I just can't afford to pay out of pocket for all the monitoring. Anyway, someone on a local mom's list mentioned that clomid and glucophage were on Wal-mart's $5 list of perscriptions and really made me start thinking about it. Anyway, I decided to talk to Andy last night about trying with the clomid and glucophage as it worked for us back in MI to start ovulating and all. He informed me that with everything that we have going on here, he couldn't commit to that. He's worried about all the infertility treatments it took with Deidra and all the time and emotions that went into that. He just thought we were on a different path with fostering now. He told me if it happens naturally, he's fine with it. However, he doesn't think pushing the issue right now is the answer. At that point, I stopped the conversation and went to bed. I have to respect his wishes, what more can I do besides wait awhile and try again to talk to him about it. But, I'm pretty sad about it...yet in some ways I understand. Nobody that knows what I went through with Deidra, besides a couple of people, understand why I want this so badly again.

So, I go back to trying to lose more weight and hope that helps the conception process and I test monthly and if I find out I am pregnant, I'll go get my butt on some progesterone asap. I just never thought he'd say no.

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Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Butterfly House



I used Marcee Duggar's Butterfly Haven kit for this one. This one was fun to make!

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Scrapping Challenge...Anyone is welcome to join me!

I created a challenge for myself and Cindi and Jenn are joining me...so I wanted to see if any other scrappers wanted to join us. Starting today until the end of the year (with an exemption from Christmas Day) we are creating a page a day and posting them to our blogs so that you can see our work and we catch up on our books. Anyone up for the challenge?

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So much to do...

Sometimes I look at my calendar and can't believe how fast the days fill up between all the kid's appointments and therapies and extra activities. It's been crazy. I thought these next couple of weeks were going to be slow. Well, so far this week things have just fallen on me and I've just had to make time for them.

Monday, Baby J's caseworker came out in the morning. Then, in the afternoon I had to bring Baby D and Little J to their visit with their parents, brother, and Grandma.

Tuesday, I had a guy come out last night to talk to me about health insurance for Deidra and I as I'm going to need insurance for us starting the first of the year since this weekend is my last weekend at Home Depot and our insurance runs out. I really just wish that we could go on Andy's plan at work, but they want $900 a month to add us to the plan there. Um, no thanks!

Today (Wednesday) they called wanting to do speech therapy with Little J after school today. But, I found myself needing some time to just do my own thing today and so I called her back and told her I was open Friday this week or she could come out next week. She hasn't called back yet, so I don't know what's going to happen. Then later tonight, the girls are going to CAMP (Crazy Activities Messy Praise) and the boys are going to First Look at church from 6:30-7:30.

Thursday, Little J has play therapy so I have to go get her out of school a little early to go.

Friday, Baby J has physical therapy in the morning.

Then, this weekend is my last weekend of work. My schedule is crappy though. 11-8 on Saturday and 11:30-8:30 on Sunday.

Yeah, and I need to get end-of-the-month paperwork all together so I can turn it in to the agency and get their logs all done so they're done for the month too.

Nevermind the fact, that I still have to do clothes shopping for the boys and get Baby D all set up to start potty training next week. And I still have to do the Christmas photo shoot so that I can get the cards ordered and UPS came yesterday and delivered the rest of the gifts for the people we have to ship Christmas presents too. So, I need to get all that stuff wrapped and packaged so that we can send them out sometime next week. And I still have family shopping to do for Christmas, but I think I'm going to go grab my brother sometime after my Mom comes back from MI for my Grandma's funeral and we're going to go out and shop til we drop. We did that last year and we had so much fun. We laughed all through the stores and we laughed even harder when we went out for dinner and the waiter thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend. Yeah, I'm 31 and my brother is 17...what a likely pair!

I have a bunch of housework to accomplish today too and I'm also giving myself a goal starting today through the end of the year to do one scrapbook page a day so that I can get the kid's books caught up. I showed Little J the first page in her book that I had done for her and her eyes just lit up that someone did something like that for her.

Little J told me yesterday that they've never had a Christmas tree and she'd never had a birthday cake before. I'm determined to make this Christmas a magical one for them.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Well, it looks like...

we may be adding Big M to our family after the first of the year. He just turned 11 and is the older sib to Little J and Baby D. They don't want us to feel pressured, but he has continually asked to move in with us. The only reason we can't move him now is because of vehicle space. He left the visit yesterday looking sad. The CASA worker asked me again today if we consider taking him. He feels left out at the visits because nobody talks with him and he really likes us and wants to be here with us. I told her that Andy and I both like him, my only concern is that everytime he comes down to visit he tries to take over with helping his siblings and I don't want him to feel that that is his role anymore. He deserves to be a kid. Deidra really likes him and he seems to be a very sweet boy. So, we may just give this a go. Talk about stepping out of my comfort zone.... I really feel God's hand in this though. Keep us in your prayers that we make the right decision for him, his siblings, and our family after the first year. We told them that we'd keep praying about it and if we decide to do it, we'd pursue it after the first of the year.

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Canyon Lake



Here's one I did from our trip to Phoenix back in March. I just used some stuff from Scrapbook Flair to make this one.

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Ask, Seek, Knock!



This one I did of a little church in a ghost town outside of Phoenix.

This one I did with a few elements from the freebie kits at Scrapbook Flair and I also used the cross and ribbon from Jenna's (scrapmonkey.com) Ask, Seek, Knock freebie kit.

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So, we've reached the stage of totally undressing ourselves...

Baby J would prefer to run around nekkid. I put him down for a nap yesterday only to go in and find that he had torn off all his clothes and his diaper and was sitting nekkid in his crib. Went in to get him this morning, nekkid he was and he had given me the pleasant surprise of having thrown his poop pebbles on top of all of his blankets on the floor and smeared his dirty hands all over the crib rails and part of his mattress. Got him dressed and cleaned up and took the girls to school. Came home and fed him breakfast and let him down to play. It wasn't even 5 minutes and he was nekkid again. Laid him down and put his diaper and clothes back on and told him that we don't do that. 5 minutes later, he's nekkid again. Finally, I took him upstairs to find a onesie to put on him. Put him down for a morning nap and he wouldn't go to sleep. I go in there, the onesie is off and he's torn his diaper off too. I put his diaper on backwards, the onesie back over it, and his regular clothes over that...I watched him through the crack in the door. Little monkey got all that off too. Now, he's laying down in his bed with shipping tape taped over his diaper a few times. If he figures that out, I don't know what to do. UGH!

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TMI Tuesday

When did you get your first not so innocent kiss? on the bus on our senior band trip to Disney World.

Do you have a crush on anyone that isn't your husband? yes, but it's very innocent and my hubby knows about him...he also knows that he has nothing to worry about. The guy is about 8 years younger than me, very much a religious person, and I just feel drawn to him at times. He has the gift of the Holy Spirit and if I was a young girl, I'd definitely want him for a husband. I tell him all the time that whoever he winds up with will be one lucky girl because of how he is. Very sweet, he'd do anything for anyone (well as long as it's something right), and he doesn't bad talk anyone or judge them for anythign that they do. He's said things to me a few times when he's had no idea of what was going on in my life, and he's hit the nail right on the head and given me exactly what I needed to hear at the time.

1. What was the first movie you saw on a date? Jurassic Park
2. Who was the first person you kissed on a date? [First name is fine.] Mark
3. Where was the first place you ever "parked" (on a date)? parking lot, but it was all innocent.
4. Have you ever gone on a date with someone you met via the internet? If not, would you? Yeah, sort of. I used to talk in chat rooms in college and I took to talking to this guy in Sweden quite a bit. We started talking on the phone and writing each other paper letters off and on. Well, one day he showed up at my doorstep with flowers. He met my Mom and although I was nervous, I took him out to see the sights of Grand Rapids and he wanted to see where I went to school, so I took him up to the college and we walked around on campus. I took him back to where he was staying that night and he got a little too physical for me, it scared me, and all the next day he called my house every 5-10 minutes and I wouldn't let anyone answer the phone. My Mom was mad at me as she thought he was so sweet to come all that way to surprise me with a visit and she wanted me to call in to work to go spend more time with him. I was afraid of what was going to happen if I saw him again and so I refused to talk to him. He went back to Sweden and I saw him online one day and we was horribly mad at me. I told him that he got way too physical with me and it scared me and that never changed his mind, he wished I would have just talked to him about it when he was with me. We never talked again and I still wonder about him from time to time.

5. What is the most romantic thing you have done on a first date? my trip to Chicago to see Andy for the first time. We walked around the city holding hands, we were both poor and we didn't have money to spend, but I was just as content walking around the city seeing everything holding his hand. I don't think either one of us ate a thing all day either. I remember someone selling newspapers called us "love birds" too.

What's the most romantic date you have ever been on and with whom? see above. I think a close second was when I again travelled to Chicago. When I first started going down, I just took the train. When I left one day to go back to MI, Andy ran up to the Sears Tower to wave good-bye and watch my train leaving. I didn't know that until after I got home and called him to let him know that I was back safely and he told me, but I just thought that was so sweet. It still makes me smile when I think about it.

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Monday, November 26, 2007

Music Monday

Cory asked what my favorite disco song was. Here's mine:



This song brings back memories of my real mom for me. She taught me to rollerskate when I was 4 and that was one of the big things that we did together...I can always remember skating at the roller rink and when I hear this song this is what I think of. Flying around the roller rink as a little girl...sometimes Mom would hold my hand and go around with me...sometimes I'd go around by myself and she'd skate around by herself or she'd watch me from the sidelines. But, this is definitely a song that brings back those memories.

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No ambition...

The argument that my Mom and I got into on Friday afternoon really drained me. I didn't feel like working this weekend either and I have no ambition to really do anything today either. Little J had a tummy ache last night too and was waking me up ever couple of hours. I'm not really tired though...just don't feel like doing anything.

I really need to go do some laundry...but I don't wanna.

Abba, I put the argument between my Mom and I and Andy into Your hands. Please bring us all some peace with this, so that we can go forward.

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Sunday, November 25, 2007

Great!

We received a letter in the mail yesterday saying that Child-Care Licensing will be visiting our home soon. They select random homes to inspect to make sure that all the minimum standards are being met and that all of our paperwork and training is current. They also talk to the children and so forth to make sure that we're following the rules. Talk about something I didn't want to worry about over the holidays... I guess I keep our house inspection ready at all times so that if they call and say that they'll be here within the hour...we're ready to go. UGH. Say a prayer that when we have ours, it will all go smoothly and we'll be fine in our inspection. I'm just worried that I'll forget something in the stress of it all.

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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Freezing...

Man..it's finally gotten cold here. It hit the day before Thanksgiving. The day before Turkey day started out around 69 degrees and then the cold front came through and temps dropped big time. It's been in the 30s since then and I forgot what it's like to work retail by the doors when they're constantly opening and closing. I'm home on lunch right now and savoring the warmth in the house. I can't wait until I can come home tonight and snuggle with Andy on the couch.

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Friday, November 23, 2007

My Mom and I just had a horrible fight...

She left me feeling like I'm supposed to choose her over my husband and she got upset at me when I tried to defend him (she took something he said way too seriously) and she said that I'm always trying to defend him. Ummm...he's my husband and I love him, what am I supposed to do? Well, I told her that I didn't need this crap today and I hung up on her. I talked to Andy and asked him if I could invite her over tonight so we could all hash this out. He said that was fine, but he really didn't feel that he should have to defend himself, but that he'd do it for me. Well, I called her back at work, she basically told me that she is my mother and I'm not to talk to her like that. I told her that I don't feel like I'm supposed to pick her over my husband or that she's even putting me in that position as she gets mad at Andy's family for doing that very same thing. She told me again "I'm mom and I'm not letting anyone talk to me like you just did." She said she had my brother's game to go to (it's away and it's cold and she told me yesterday that she didn't want to go and sit in the cold) and that she wasn't coming over. So, now she left something really horrible that I'm going to spend all weekend worrying over hanging over my head because she won't come over and talk this out and I have to work this weekend. Andy feels that she gets jealous that I have a husband who cares about me and takes care of me and that she wants to try and put things in so that I wind up in the same fate that she does. I think it's a bit extreme, but I do know that she can be jealous of married couples at times. But, I really don't like feeling like I am right now. Andy heard how hard I had been crying and decided to leave work right then and there and he's pretty mad at my Mom for not agreeing to come over and smooth out something that she started. I'm at the point where I just want to get in the car by myself and drive and drive until I wind up somewhere all by myself.

He tried to call her and talk to her when he got home from work, she said that she already had plans and he said that if she had legitimate plans he could understand that but that he hoped she'd reconsider coming over to talk. He said you could tell that she paused to look for an excuse and said that she had my brother's game to go to and that she wasn't ready to talk about it right now and that she had to go. She hung up and never game him a chance to say anything in return. Left me feeling prety darned important.

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What a blessed Thanksgiving we had!

Mom and Jimmie came over around 12:30 for dinner. We were setting the table and getting all the food ready to be served on the bartop when they got there, so it was perfect timing. We said a prayer together and went around the table saying what we were thankful for...

Mom was thankful for family healing that has been happening in our family this year (she talked to her sister whom she hadn't talked to in 12 years yesterday and My Dad is admitting his faults and apologizing for them and it's been a big help in healing for all of us.

Andy was thankful for being able to have everyone over for dinner at our new house and for all the food we were being able to eat. Of course he was thankful for family too!

I was thankful for family and friends and that we were able to add children to our house this year.

Little J was thankful for family and her new sister (Deidra)and for her good foster home and for her mom and dad and for her visits. Just the fact that she mentioned our home and that she thought it was a good one had me teary eyed. She definitely made everything worth it (all the trials that we've had with her so far) when she said that.

Deidra was thankful for Baxter (our old family dog who just passed away before we moved down here...she mentions him at all her prayers) and for her family and friends.

My brother Jimmie was thankful that he wasn't hurt anymore and made it through football season this season without any hurts or broken bones and that he was still healthy and he was thankful for his family.

Mom and I went for a walk after dinner and dessert around our neighborhood in the freezing cold. We made it just in time when we got back for it to start sleeting. I was having a pretty hard time with cramps (AF arrived yesterday just in time for her turkey time too I guess) and bleeding pretty badly and so Mom took me up to Wal-mart to get me a heating pad when I took several 500mg tylenol without it helping at all. Wal-mart was totally dead and I jokingly said that if you wanted to go to Wal-mart that was the time to go as I had been in there the night before Turkey Day and it was a madhouse in there then. We came home and just spent family time together and Mom read to the kids for awhile. Mom brought a little kitchenette for them to play with in the playroom too, so they are loving that. She found it at a yardsale over the summer and had it in her backyard for Deidra, but she washed it up and brought it over here so that they'd have it here to play with. It was a great and very blessed Thanksgiving!

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to take a minute to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving.

I'm so very thankful for my dear husband who loves me so unconditionally and works so hard to provide for us. I'm so very thankful for my beautiful daughter that has such a big heart and although she's had a few issues adjusting to us doing foster care, she really has such a big heart and cares so much about each of them. She's such a big help with them too. She makes friends wherever she goes and I'm always given compliments by her teachers and her friend's parents about how sweet she is and how she's always surrounded by her friends. I'm thankful for Baby J and his sweet demeanor...he brings so much joy to this house and I fall in love with him more and more all the time. I'm thankful for Baby D and it's so neat to see him making progress with coming out of his shell. He's so quiet and gets so scared about things and is quite shy. I'm thankful Little J...she can be so sweet and affectionate and it is nice to have another girl in the house. I'm thankful for the opportunity to do foster care and truly make a difference in these children's lives.

I'm thankful for my Mom and my Dad and I'm grateful for my Grandpa and that he just came through his last medical scare and will be home in a few days. I'm thankful for my brothers too and for all of my family.

I'm thankful for our beautiful new house and sharing Thanksgiving dinner with our family here.

I'm thankful for my faith...I can't imagine my life without God or trying to get through some things that I have had to without Him.

I'm thankful for my friends that I have had in my life over the years and the new ones that I'm making here in Texas. I'm thankful for all of my dear friends that are my readers here and know me in real life too. You are all a part of who I am today!

I hope everyone has a truly happy Thanksgiving and a very blessed Holiday season!

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Thanksgiving Break...

The girls are on their Thanksgiving break starting today...I thought it was odd that they had the day before Turkey day off, but whatever. I was a little worried about how the girls were going to be together, but (knock on wood) Little J hasn't been bad at all this week and the girls have been playing very well together.

They were both up early today and they asked to go outside at 8 this morning. Since it was about 70 this morning and we are having a cold front come through to knock it down to about 35 degrees, I told them to go for it while they could. They've been playing in front of the house in the field and watching the house across the street being built and then they started playing with the neighbors. The neighbors fed them corn dogs and the girls came in to get everyone apples and crackers and they're having a picnic. It's started getting cold and so they came in to get their sleepign bags. They're sitting down on the sidewalk cuddled up in the sleeping bags just having fun. I'm glad they're enjoying themselves and everyone is getting along so well together.

I've been working on my chores while they're peace and quiet and I'm going to start my baking soon too.

I wish Andy could be home with us on Friday, but he's out of personal and vacation time at work and so he has to be there. It'll be nice when January comes and he's got personal time again.

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On parenting

Taken from Cory's blog (www.roosmom.com) A little survey on parenting:

I would never:
Let my young children be left unattended to. Working in retail I see this alot...the parents are off shopping while their little ones are playing on the John Deere tractors and so forth. Or they let their children play monkey while riding in the carts...they're hanging off the sides, riding in the bottom, or hanging upside down off the side....they don't even see the possible danger that could happen and yet when you say something to them or their children they get angry at you.

I always:
Make sure that they know how much they are loved.

I got an easy ride when it came to:
Deidra never went through the hitting/biting/pulling hair stage.

The part I dislike most about parenting is:
Getting them all ready to go somewhere and getting there with everything that has to be taken. We really need a mini-van so we no longer have to take 2 cars.

The part I love most about parenting is:
Seeing how neat everything is to them or seeing their viewpoints on things. I love listening to them talk about things from their point of view. We take so many things for granted as adults.

My terrible parenting secret is:
I don't always let them help me do something when they want to do help, but I'm trying to be better about that. Sometimes I just don't want to have to deal with the extra mess when it' so much easier to do it myself.

I would describe my approach to discipline as:
I really try to let them know what I expect from them and I give them choices. They deal with the consequences of not doing the right thing. I don't yell much unless it's something serious and I'm afraid they're going to get hurt. They know that I usually follow through with whatever it is that I'm telling them. I can't say that I'm super strict, but I'm not super lenient either.

My worst parenting habit:
Depending too much on Deidra at times when I have my hands full with other things and I have kids that are getting into this or that at the same time in 2 separate places.

The one thing I am really proud of is:
that I'm a good Mom. They know they are loved and cared for and that they can come to me with anything. I spend too much time cuddling with them sometimes when I really should be getting housework done, but hey the housework will alwyas be there...

I probably am too lenient when it comes to:
how much tv they watch

I hope my kids inherit my:
compassionate heart and loving spirit

I hope my kids don’t inherit my:
lack of patience at times

I love that my kids are:
sweet and kind and not afraid to go after what they want

The thing I miss most about my pre-mom days is:
having more time to myself

Motherhood is:
Something I've always wanted out of life. It's very hard at times, but very rewarding too.

So, if you have kids, tell me more about what kind of parent you are. If you aren’t yet a mother, tell me what kind of parent you hope to be.

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Andy made chili...



with all these peppers last night. It was his hot revenge chili for his potluck at work for not winning the chili contest that they had awhile back. Man, as he was chopping them all up in the kitchen, I was coughing in the living room because of all of that in the air. That's going to be one hot batch of chili...I told him that he better put some warning next to the crockpot that it's very hot (spicy).

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House Schedule

I've been asked by a couple of friends how I have been keeping up with the kids and the new house. So, I thought I'd share my schedule. Laundry for 6 people is nuts...but I think I came up with a do-able solution and I stay on top of my housework too.

Monday
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Deidra's Laundry
Deidra's Bedding
Wash Towels
Pick-up and Vacuum Downstairs
Deidra Cleans Bedroom and Vacuums Room
Cat Boxes

Tuesday
-------
Baby J's Laundry
Baby J's Bedding
Pick-up Downstairs
Boys Clean Playroom
Sweep and Mop Floors
Vacuum Boys Room
Budget
Cat Boxes
Bath Night

Wednesday
---------
Baby D's Laundry
Baby D's Bedding
Pick-up Downstairs and Vacuum
Clean Bathrooms
Boys Pick Up Playroom
Cat Boxes

Thursday
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Little J's Laundry
Little J's Bedding
Pick-up Downstairs
Little J Cleans Bedroom
Budget
Cat Boxes
Bath Night

Friday
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Wash our laundry
Wash our bedding
Pick-up and Vacuum Downstairs
Movie Night
Clean and Vacuum Bedroom
Cat Boxes

Saturday
--------
Budget
Cat Boxes
Bath Night


Sunday
------
Grocery Shopping
Cat Boxes

Surprisingly, it goes pretty well. The girls get notes from the House Fairy and prizes once in awhile when she's been watching for awhile and they've stayed on top of their messes and have practiced their manners. So, they're always eager to help. Baby D helps me unload the dishwasher too. The House Fairy has definitely made a difference in our house! They know that they have to keep things clean and picked up if they want her to visit, but yet they also know that she doesn't leave surprises every time..but yet she could be watching at any time. So that keeps them on their toes. I didn't put dishes or anything else down either as I have to do them sometimes once a day and somedays we run the dishwasher a couple of times per day. I just do it as we need to. I try to sweep the kitchen floor once or twice a day and it's mopped once a week. Anyway, that's how we're keeping up with the house and the chores. The girls take turns doing the cat boxes now too...they think it's fun...hey, if they're willing to help...we'll let them. We just make sure that they scrub their hands really well once their done. Usually one girl does the ones downstairs and the other girl does the ones upstairs. Otherwise they fight over who's night it is to get to do it. We help too of course!

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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Food Woes...

I decided to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner. Little J informed me that she doesn't like tomato soup or grilled cheese. Normally, I refuse to make different dinners for everyone and at least make her try it. She sticks her nose up at anything mostly unless it's total junk food. Well, she told me she'd eat a bologna sandwich if I put mustard on it. I told her that all I had was turkey lunch meat, but I'd make her that instead. She said that was fine. I give it to her and she eats a bite and says she wants candy. I told her not until after dinner. She said now that she doesn't like mustard. Maybe I'm mean, but I told her that she had specifically asked for it that way and I didn't put that much on there and that she was going to finish dinner before she got any sweets and if she chose not to eat, she wasn't getting any treats or snacks later. Magically, she ate the sandwich down...she seemed to forget about the candy for now, so I'm not going to remind her.

Andy's getting tired of her wasting food and so I told him that I was just going to start saving her plates and reoffering her leftovers before she can get other stuff. I just don't understand why you give her what she asks for and she still turns her nose up at it or when I do make something that she claims she likes, she will only eat a bite or two and then she says she's done. None of the other kids give me any problems and will eat 2 or 3 helpings, so I know it's not my cooking. It's just annoying trying to find stuff that she'll eat. Maybe she's testing me who knows...but I told her that she needs to eat healthily...it's not good to eat so much junk food and she slowly is starting to understand that. However, she still does have a sweet tooth and since I have one myself, I can't begrudge her for that.

What do you feed an extremely picky eater? We had spaghetti for dinner last night with garlic bread and corn and she claimed that she liked all that stuff...2 bites of spaghetti later...I don't want anymore, I don't really like this. We got dinner cleaned up and not even 5 minutes later, she wanted ice cream. She didn't throw a fit though this time when I told her that she hadn't eaten her dinner and so she couldn't have dessert. I was surprised at that. She's been very well-behaved yesterday and today and I've been praising her big time for that. She's even thought about other people's feelings too...so we are making some progress.

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Photo Props and Photo Takes

Well, I got the kid's Christmas outfits all here. I am going to attempt to take their Christmas pics this week since I got the photo props that I ordered off of ebay the other day in the mail. Taking pics of 4 kids I'm hoping isn't going to take me forever to get a good shot of all of them together for the Christmas card. Did that even make sense? Anyway, ordering props got me to thinking...

I haven't taken any of the foster kids to get their pictures taken yet professionally as I never know which ones are staying and which ones are going. However, I don't want it to come up later that we get to adopt and then I don't have pictures of them like I do of Deidra. So, I got to thinking about taking some pictures of them myself with photo props and getting them made up so that I can distribute them among our family and friends and give them to their families too and then I have pictures of them to hang on our stairway too along with Deidra's. We have a little football that I think I'm going to sit and try to do their pics with...just gotta figure out some sort of backdrop to do it by.

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Monday, November 19, 2007

Musical Monday

Songs that make you want to roll the windows down and sing at the top of your lungs. Go here to see my choice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nNsOWD0y_A

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Adjusting to Life with Little J

Sometimes this little girl is the sweetest that can be and she's playing well with everyone and she's affectionate and laughing about something. But then you need to correct her for something or request that she does something and she does a complete turn around. She's start throwing a temper tantrum, try to hurt Deidra's toys, or she goes after the person that she's angry at or even tries to hurt herself. My caseworker brought over her initial assessment review on her and I was able to see that the psychiatrist diagnosed her with a mood disorder and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) and that's what she takes the meds for. Well, I didn't know a whole lot about ODD so I did some research about it after the incident with her yesterday.

What happened yesterday? Oh, Andy asked them if they wanted to come inside and watch Barbie and the Magical Princess and when they came in the argument started that the movie was really Barbie and the Island Princess and Little J wouldn't stop arguing about it and trying to correct everyone on the right name. Deidra took her arm and said "let's not argue about this anymore." Little J proceeded to kick her in the stomach to which Deidra ran upstairs crying and proceeded to throw up. Little J was put into time out for a long time and then they were both talked to and told to play separately for awhile. They weren't talking much to one another for the rest of the day and the only time they were allowed to play together had to be in the line of direct supervision.

Anyway, back to the ODD.

Common behavior symptoms seen in Oppositional Defiant Disorder include:

Losing one’s temper

Arguing with adults

Actively defying requests

Refusing to follow rules

Deliberately annoying other people

Testing limits

Blaming others for one's own mistakes or misbehavior

Being touchy, easily annoyed

Being easily angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.

Speaking harshly, or unkind when upset

Seeking revenge

Having frequent temper tantrums

Oppositional Defiant Disorder usually does not occur alone.

50-65% of ODD children also have ADD ADHD

35% of these children develop some form of affective disorder

20% have some form of mood disorder, such as Bipolar Disorder or anxiety

15% develop some form of personality disorder

Many of these children have learning disorders

So what happens to these children? There are four possible paths.
Some will grow out of it. Half of the preschoolers that are labeled ODD are normal by the age of 8. However, in older ODD children, 75% will still fulfill the diagnostic criteria later in life.


The ODD may turn into something else. 5-10 % of preschoolers with ODD have their diagnosis changed from ODD to ADHD. In some children, the defiant behavior gets worse and these children eventually are diagnosed with Conduct Disorder. This progression usually happens fairly early. If a child has ODD for 3-4 years and he hasn't developed Conduct Disorder, then he won’t ever develop it.

The child may continue to have ODD without any thing else. This is unusual. By the time preschoolers with ODD are 8 years old, only 5% have ODD and nothing else.

The child develops other disorders in addition to ODD. This is very common.

I have a lady coming out to help me develop a behavior intervention plan for her today and all I can do is hope that her behaviors improve the more that we work with her. I don't think she was ever really disciplined at all by her parents and so I can see how this would be hard to try and deal with now, but even though it's hard to see her try and harm herself (she bites herself and scratches herself and pulls her hair when we have to correct her), I know that I can't just let her have her own way either. Usually, we tell her that she needs to be nicer to herself and then she'll tell us that she doesn't care about herself and she can be mean to herself. I usually can get her to stop though by holding her face in my hands and telling her that we care about her.

She can definitely be sweet and affectionate and nice to be around when she wants to be and I think that side of her is what keeps us going. The struggles are hard though and you almost have to anticipate what she's goign to do next to stay one step ahead of her.

This little girl needs so much healing and love and I think she is really starving for attention. I try to give her as much as I can...but she is so smothering of the other kids too and wants all that attention for herself as well. My heart breaks for everything that she's been through in her 5 years of life and I just hope that she will come to understand that we do care about her here and how normal people treat one another.

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

Turning in my notice today...

My last day as a Home Depot associate is going to be December 2. :-) I'm a little nervous about turning my notice in...just because talking to the assistant managers always makes me a bit nervous, but I'm glad to be getting my weekends back so I can have time with my family and my husband and I can spend more than just a couple of hours a day together like it's been for the last 3 years unless one of us has asked for some time off. So, this will be a good thing! Given the fact that my last check was only $3.73 (yes, you read that right) after insurance was taken out, I think it's definitely time. Granted, they were cutting hours and I had asked for one day off that I forgot to put vacation time in for on top of that or it would have been more...but it's just not worth it anymore. It's time for me to be at home.

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Saturday, November 17, 2007

Our Thanksgiving Menu

Appetizers
Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Dip with Graham Crackers
Pumpkin Bread

Beverages
Dr. Pepper
Reese's Cup Hot Chocolate
Almond Toffee Crunch Coffee

Main Course
Turkey
Cheesy Potatoes
Stuffing
Sweet Potato Crunch
Texas Macaroni Salad
Salad
Cranberries
Green Bean Casserole
Macaroni and Cheese
Corn Salad (cornbread, regular can of corn, and a can of creamed corn with hamburger mixed in)
Cucumber Salad

Desserts
M&M Bars
Sugar Free Pumpkin Pie
Sugar Free Peanut Butter Pie

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Friday, November 16, 2007

What a day!

I got the girls to school this morning, started feeling sick so I called to cancel Baby J's therapy appt. Sat down to check e-mail and I have an e-mail from my cousin about my Grandpa. She said that she didn't think he was coming home. His kidneys were failing and they started dialysis and moved him to the ICU. I immediately started crying and thinking about how to go up there when I decided to e-mail my Uncle. He came back with a whole lot better news. He's not in kidney failure, but his potassium levels are high so if they didn't come down on their own soon they were going to do dialysis to remove the excess potassium from his body. They're still trying to find the source of where the fluid is entering his lungs though. That made me feel better and my cousin and I kept going back and forth on e-mail. Finally, she asked me to call her and we talked for a little over an hour about everything. She said that she felt a lot better after talking to me and I felt a lot better after talking to her too. I told her that we just need to think positively and that he's made it through a lot of things and we had to hope and pray that he'd make it through this too. She said that her Mom had freaked out when she heard dialysis being mentioned and didn't think he could survive without his kidneys functioning and that if they were putting him on dialysis it had to be cancer or kidney failure. Well, I told her to get her facts straight before scaring me like that again.

Anyway, we hung up and I was talking to Andy about everything when the school called. Little J has a 100.5 fever and I need to come and get her. Went and picked her up and she's totally acting fine. She got mad at me because I wouldn't let her go play outside. Then, it was because I wouldn't let her have candy and chips. She told me her stomach was hurting again and I told her I'd make her some chicken noodle soup...you would have thought I'd told her that I'd make her some spinach or asparagus with the reaction that I got from her. She finally asked me for cereal and I gave her a bowl of that.

Then, I was trying to get the boys down for a nap and she walked in there and opened the door and got them screaming, so there went that idea. Shortly after that, we had to go pick up Deidra from school. Deidra got in the car and immediately copped an attitude with everyone. I reminded her that the House Fairy can't visit if she's not minding her manners. She came home and hopped up on the couch and was asleep in a matter of minutes. My baby girl is tired! Makes sense now....

The boys are napping, the house is a disaster area, I need to figure out what to make for dinner (I'm thinking maybe some Hamburger Helper), and I really could use a nap myself however Little J is still awake, so I guess I need to stay awake too.

I'm really not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow either. :-(

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Thursday, November 15, 2007

13 Things I Pray For...

I say a special prayer when/for...

1. There is an ambulance coming down the street with it's sirens on when I'm out driving.

2. There is a fire truck with it's siren on when I'm out driving.

3. Anyone that asks for prayers regardless if I know them or not.

4. Whenever I pass a cemetary.

5. Whenever our family celebrates an anniversary of a loved one's death.

6. Whenever our family celebrates a birthday of a loved one (still here on this earth or has already passed).

7. My children...I pray for them throughout the day and I say prayers with them at night.

8. My husband...I pray for his safety as he travels to work and back and I pray for him and his trials that he goes through that God guide's him.

9. Our marriage...that we always seek God's will for us and that we are always able to work through our problems and that we always keep each other's desires close to our hearts and that we never take each other for granted.

10. That I continue to stay close to Jesus and let Him guide me throughout this crazy thing called life.

11. My friends...in all their trials and tribulations and in all their moments of glory too.

12. Our foster care journey that we always stay free from any allegations or investigations.

13. For our home...that everyone will always feel safe here, that we'll always have the financial means to provide for it and those living here, and that it will always be a blessing to us and to anyone that enters through our door.

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Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I Have To Do Today...

1. Do Little J's laundry.
2. Wash towels.
3. Get the boys more diapers.
4. Get Baby D some training pants so we can start potty training next week.
5. Go get the girl's surprises from the House Fairy (I can't say enough good things about her).
6. Work with Baby D on his pre-school curriculum.
7. Work on homework with the girls.
8. Take the kids to the park if it's not too cold or windy later.
9. Make dinner.
10. Get some ebay stuff done.
11. Budget stuff.
12. Restraint training up at the agency from 6-10pm.
13. Clean off my desk.

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Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Family Happenings...

1. My Dad called the other night to let us know that he has broke the news to his wife that he's moving back to Texas. She immediately said that she had a feeling that something was going on, but she didn't know what and wanted to know if we was going back to my Mom. He told her that he's going to move in with my brother, Zach, in Austin for 6 months to see if he can't get him back on his feet and moving in the right direction. But, he wants to start out slow with my Mom and start dating again and see what happens, but he didn't tell her that. My Mom personally said that she thinks it may be too late as she's been on her own for too long now, but she's willing to take things slowly and see what happens.

2. My Mom is really thinking about becoming an Oblate (a Nun in the 3rd Order that can live among the public, have a family, and can be married.

3. During Deidra's birthday party, I was talking to my MIL. She happened to tell me that Geoff and Mimi aren't talking to them because Mimi said that Hal has never liked her and that he orders MIL around. Geoff told his mom that if she wants to see him that they'd have to keep it their little secret and they'd have to meet up at the mall or something. I find it funny that you can clearly tell that Hal cares for their mom and I've never seen or heard him order her around any time that we've been around them. I guess they were supposed to go over to their condo a couple of months ago and they didn't show up, so MIL called them. Their excuse...well, it takes Mimi at least an hour and a half to get ready to go somewhere and she doesn't have a whole lot of time to herself on the weekends, so we're not going to come now. MIL said that she's lost all respect for Mimi and she's losing respect for Geoff that he'd just go right along with her and do what she wished as he's gotta make the Mrs. happy. She said that she thought about all of our previous problems with them and how she never wanted to truly believe that Mimi was like that, but now she understands. Hal doesn't think their marriage will make it much longer especially if another female finds Geoff attractive and he realizes that there's actually descent human beings out there that he could have a relationship with. I happened to say something along the lines of wondering if we'd ever be back in MI again for the same Christmas and apparently they were supposed to go up there this year but changed their minds. Mimi doesn't like MI and they've agreed that they won't go up there again. Nevermind that all the Hoffman family is still up there... I don't know...Andy feels really bad that Geoff is acting like this, but I told the IL's that it doesn't surprise me...I had them pegged from the very beginning and got resistance from the whole family when I even suggested what I thought. And as far as saying that their marriage isn't going to last much longer...I don't know if you can even say that as they've been playing these games ever since we were in Chicago together. So, who knows... I told Andy that his family may upset me from time to time, but I understand that that is his family and I would never do or say anything to keep him from seeing his family.

4. Andy recently had his review at work and was told that he does his job better than anyone ever has in the history of their company. I'm very proud of him!

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Hunting for Christmas Outfits for the Boys...


I was looking for Christmas outfits for the boys and I stumbled upon this site.

http://www.thechildrenswearoutlet.com/shop/

I got the boys little suits to wear for $6 for Christmas.

Cute and you can't beat the price! Just thought I'd share...they have cute clothes and a lot of complete sets for $10-15.

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Christmas Shopping for the House -- Our Wish List for Christmas

So many people have asked us what our wish lists for Christmas were going to be. We both agreed that we just wanted stuff for the house this year. So, we went and made our list at Target entitled "Our New House List" and it's searchable by mine, Andy's, or Deidra's first and last name. The event date is Christmas. We also have an ID number for our list if anyone wants it: 012399301061426. This is what we have picked out for each room and we've been picking up things little by little. It's exciting to see the house come together slowly!

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Monday, November 12, 2007

Elvis and Musical Monday

Musical Monday from Cory's blog (www.roosmom.com)

What's my favorite Elvis song?

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My baby is 7 years old!

Our darling little girl turned 7 years old yesterday! I can hardly believe it!

She woke up early because she couldn't sleep because she was too excited. She came in our room around 6 am asking if it was officially her birthday yet. Andy set his alarm for 6:15 (the time she was born) and told her when that went off it was officially her birthday. When that went off we cuddled her and gave her hugs and kisses and wished her a happy birthday. She was so excited that she couldn't go back to sleep.

We told her she had to stay upstairs for awhile though as we had her gifts to wrap and wasn't counting on her being up so early. So, Mommy got to wrapping her gifts as Daddy got our pot roast going in the crockpot. Called my Mom to bring over some extra chairs and I took the girls to church and Sunday School.

Shortly after that people started arriving. Grandma Hoffman and Hal surprised her by coming in from Phoenix for her birthday. Great Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mike came too and Grandma Davis and Uncle Jimmie were here too. She was spoiled with gifts...a new soft blankie (so Mommy could have hers back), Barbies, a Strawberry Shortcake bath set, bath foam, a new outfit, a beautiful pink and black dress and new dress shoes to match (Daddy better set up the shot gun and keep watch on the porch), some very neat books that fold out to make a play area (these are so cool...I've never seen anything like it before), a book of favorite children's stories that teach morals, and some new stuffed animal horses, money, and a gift card to Build-a-Bear. She had a lot of fun opening everything.

After that we had her cake and ice cream and visited for awhile.


I really can't believe that my baby is 7! I am so proud of the little girl that she has become. It just doesn't seem possible sometimes when I look at her that she's so big now and saying and doing the things that she's doing already.

Happy birthday to the best daughter a mom could ever ask for my little Deidra!

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Sunday, November 11, 2007

Awww!

Well, Deidra's football team that she cheers for (The Sioux) lost the 2nd game of the play-offs, so they will not be going to the superbowl in Corsicana next week. They did good this season though. They lost their first game they played and then they lost last night. Not bad for like 12 games. Go Sioux!

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Friday, November 09, 2007

Please keep my Grandpa in your prayers...

He has a collapsed lung and fluid in both lungs. They're putting a chest tube in to drain off the fluid. He's 81 years old and I'm scared. He was admitted to the hospital this morning.

Abba, please don't take him from me yet. Help him get better soon.

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Busy Weekend Ahead

And it all starts today with the craziness. So, I got up and took the girl's to school this morning. Deidra is all excited for her birthday and can't wait to see what her presents are. Little J wants to help her open presents (I think I'm going to wrap her dress up so she has something to open when Deidra is opening hers). Baby J has therapy today from 10:30-11:30 and I have the security people coming between 10-12 to install the security system. Baby D has been clingy, whiny, and throwing tantrums left and right all over the candy...I'm about to dump the rest of the halloween candy in the trash. Everytime I've put homemade food in front of Baby D or Little J they don't want it...they will start crying that I won't give them chips and candy or doughnuts. Well, except for my pot roast...Baby D had 3 helpings of that. Little J has at least been attempting to eat some things...I told her that she has to at least try what I put on her plate. I gotta go get the girls from school at 2:40 and 2:50. Put the boys down for a nap and then I gotta clean bathrooms and finish laundry as Andy's Mom is flying in this weekend to surprise Deidra for her birthday. Then, I gotta run to the agency to get a couple of things, make a bank run, and then when Andy gets home at 6, we'll eat dinner really quick and then I'm going to go finish getting a couple of things for the house and getting Deidra her birthday present from the kids as Little J told me what she wanted to get for her this morning.

Saturday, will be more cleaning and house stuff to prepare for MIL's and Hal's visit. Then, Deidra has her football game that she has to cheer at at 4pm so we'll be going to that.

Sunday is church and Sunday school and then home for Deidra's birthday party with the family...us, the kids, my Mom and brother, Andy's Mom and Hal, Andy's Aunt Nancy and Uncle Mike. I still can't believe that my baby is going to be 7! Little stinker is already past my chest too. She's probably going to pass me in height here in the next couple of years.

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Birthday Shopping and Christmas Dresses

Well, I've been on the hunt for Christmas dresses for the girls. Mom called me last night after I put the boys to bed asking me about stuff for Deidra's birthday and then she asked me if I wanted to come up to JC Penney's and meet her. (They just built a new store and it's huge. So, I went up there. I wish I could find a picture of the dress that mom got her...she's going to look like a little Barbie doll in her shoes and dress with her long blonde hair. It's black and pink and it has a tiny little short sleeved jacket that goes over it. The top is black with little spaghetti straps and then the bottom is a lot like Jasmen's dress in that it's pink and it totally poofs out and it's got little sequens and such all over it. I never intended to get Jasmen's dress last night as we were totally birthday shopping for Deidra, but when we passed that section and I saw this dress, it totally went with Deidra's and they were on sale and I just knew if I waited, they'd be gone.

and this one looks a lot like Jasmen's dress although hers has short sleeves and a little rhinestone thing up by the neck



these are the shoes Mom got for Deidra....


I got Deidra a skirt and top for her birthday and I'll probably go up to Wal-mart a little later tonight to see about getting a couple other things for her. Little J wants to go pick out a surprise for her too.

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Thursday, November 08, 2007

My first body clutter mission...

My mom has been telling me for awhile now that she thought that I had some self-esteem issues and that I needed to realize that I am worth it and that I needed to love myself. Well, I put the house on a schedule and hopped back into doing flylady and I discovered flylady's weight loss book "Body Clutter" as well. I figured why not? They teach you how you found the weight in the first place and how to start over again in baby steps. I read the first chapter last night and I'm going to do my first body clutter mission.

Look back at your first memory of comfort food. Is it a certain food or any kind of food? I'd say that anything chocolate comforts me...I love rich and sweet stuff...candy, ice cream, frosting, anything chocolate. that's what I reach for the most when I'm hurting.

What is your favorite food when you need comforting? Again I will always reach for the chocolate.

Now, can you look back on your past to figure out why you love it so much? I just love the taste of it and I could eat chocolate all day long. I've always been a big dessert fan and the rich chocolatey stuff has always been a big hit with me.

Write down your first memory of using food to comfort yourself and what was happening to you and how you felt at the time. I don't know that I have a first memory. I think how it really started was when I was in junior high and we would have ice cream and chocolate in the house, we were only allowed to have it at certain times and we had to ask in order to get some and we were only allowed to have a certain amount. Well, when I had my own money to buy stuff or Mom would send me to the store to get something, I would gorge myself on chocolate on the walk to and from the store and I would pig out on ice cream if I was home alone. I didn't like feeling like I had to ask for food if I was hungry or that my parents could have some and I couldn't or that I only got to have a little bit. It used to make me mad and I made up for it by pigging out when I had the opportunity to do so.

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Took some time out for me...

Andy ran some errands after work and I had dinner waiting when he got home (pork chops, angel hair pasta with herbs and butter, and baked beans). I had to do a clothing inventory on Baby J, Baby D, and Little J to turn into the agency and then I told him that I was going to go out by myself for awhile (he already knew I was planning to). I figured that if nobody was going to give me a break or look out for my needs, that I had to do it for myself. I didn't tell him this though. However, I went up to the book store, bought a heath mocha and walked around. Found some really good books that I'd like to read and then I remembered my Flylady journey and wanted to see if they had her weight loss book. They did! So, I bought it and am going to start implementing baby steps. I came home and Andy already had the kids in bed and he had them help clean up their messes that they had made before they went to bed. That alone made me feel so much better. Baby D had found one of his sister's markers and drew all over one cabinet and the floor while I was trying to make dinner. Thankfully, they're washable although I didn't know that at the time. I thought I had gotten to all of her markers and threw them out though. She doesn't take care of them right and she just leaves them open all the time all over and I just didn't want that stuff in my carpet or anywhere else. So, I told her she was back to crayons and once she proves that she can take care of her crayons, we can work on markers again. Guess, what she left scattered all over the floor yesterday...yup her crayons. She wanted to go see if the House Fairy came again and I asked her if she thought that things were clean enough for the House Fairy to be happy about what their room and other messes they had going on looked like. I told her she can watch at anytime and that she doesn't always leave prizes everyday, but that they had to keep things cleaned or she would not visit. The other day she visited because they both were running around trying to clean everything and do you know they have to fight over who gets to do what. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. However, Andy and I had some time to connect and I didn't even have to ask him to sit down with me to do so. I feel a lot better and a lot less stressed today. I guess I'm going to have to do that for myself more often.

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007

42 Questions...

1. What kind of soap is in your bathtub right now? Irish Spring, I think. We just buy whatever is on sale.

2. Do you have any watermelon in your refrigerator? No...I'm not a watermelon fan.

3. What would you change about your living room? New furniture to fit our growing family.

4. Are the dishes in your dishwasher clean or dirty? Dirty

5. What is in your fridge? apples, oranges, milk (regular and soy), apple juice, fresh vegetables, lunch meat, cottage cheese, leftovers from dinner last night (chicken and dumplings), not sure what else of the top of my head.

6. White or wheat bread? wheat

7. What is on top of your refrigerator? nothing

8. What color or design is on your shower curtain? ours is a cream color right now, but it's soon going to get the butterfly piece to go over it. The kids have a froggie curtain.

9. How many plants are in your home? none right now.

10. Is your bed made right now? no, I'm awful about making my bed as we each sleep with our own blankets so we don't hog them from each other. I did make the kid's beds though.

11. Comet or Soft Scrub? Comet.

12. Is your closet organized? yes, winter stuff on one side...summer stuff on the other. I used to have it all color organized too, but it got a little disorganized. Maybe next washday for me, I'll do it like that again.

13. Can you describe your flashlight? it's red

14. Do you drink out of glass or plastic more at home? glass

15. Do you have iced tea made in a pitcher right now? No, the iced tea pitcher is still packed away.

16. If you have garage, is it cluttered? yes, all of our totes and boxes that need to be unpacked are all out there waiting for us to bring them in to unpack them

17. Curtains or blinds? blinds for right now..curtains will come later as we figure out how we want to decorate each room

18. How many pillows do you sleep with? two

19. Do you sleep with any lights on at night? No, I sleep much better in pure darkness.

20. How often do you vacuum? I try to vacuum the high-traffic areas once a day, and then on the laundry schedule I try to vacuum that person's room too. So the bedrooms are done twice a week and the living room and playroom are done almost everyday.

21. Standard toothbrush or electric? electric

22. What color is your toothbrush? white

23. Do you have welcome mat on your front porch? No, but I will be buying some soon.

24. What is in your oven right now? nothing

25. Is there anything under your bed? No, our bed still has to be put up. We're still sleeping on our mattresses on our floor from our recent move.

26. Chore you hate the most? putting laundry away

27. What retro items are in your home? nothing that I can think of

28. Do you have seperate room you use an an office? No, my computer is downstairs by the staircase so that I can see what the kiddos are doing while I'm on the computer. Andy's computer will be going in our sitting room in our master suite.

29. How many mirrors are in your home? 3...one in each bathroom.

30. Do you have any hidden emergency money around your home? yes, but it's hidden away.

31. What color are your walls? they're a cream color for now. We'll paint though when we get an idea of what we want to do as far as decorating goes.

32. What does your home smell like right now? cinnamon red tea

33. Favorite candle scent? I love candles and always have one burning. Right now I have a cinnamon red tea one going. The other ones that I rotate burning are "green grass" and "macintosh apple" and "green tea."

34. What kind of pickles are in your refrigerator right now? the only kind Andy will eat are dill...so that's the only kind we buy.

35. Ever been on your roof? No. and never will.

36. Do you own a stereo? no

37. How many TV’s do you have? 1...although we're contemplating buying 1 for the play room and 1 for our bedroom

38. How many phones? 1 house phone and Andy and I have our cell phones.

39. Do you have a housekeeper? no and don't plan on it

40. What style do you decorate in? I don't know that I have a style...I'm very simple

41. Do you like solid colors in furniture or prints? solids

42. Is there a smoke detector in your home? yup, one in every room and we also have a carbon monoxide detector on each level.

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question of the day

You're at work, but take a long lunch to get some things taken care of. You run into someone who is very important in your life and they offer to take you out for a quick lunch before you have to go back to work...do you go or do you say that you've been away from work long enough and need to get back?

Just a quick one on the kids...

I just got back from bringing Baby J to the doctor for his 18 month check up. He's 28 lbs and 31 inches tall. He got 2 shots and now he's napping. Baby D got a cold so he's pretty cranky today, add in the fact that I won't let him eat all the candy that he wants and he's mad at me constantly. Oh well! Deidra's back at school today, so that's a good thing....now to get her caught up on homework when she gets home. Little J informed me last night that if she can't live with her sister (not going to happen as she has a different dad), she wants to stay living here.

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Jobs and Finances

Taken from Sarah's blog (www.proudmomx2.blogspot.com).

Would you accept a much less enjoyable job paying twice what you make now? If you received the same pay regardless of your job, what kind of work would you do? If you were financially independent, would you continue to work? If not, what would you do?

Would I accept a much less enjoyable job paying twice what I make now? If it's something I dreaded, no. I've learned that money isn't everything and as long as we could live on what I was making at the current job, I'd be fine with staying there.

If I received the same pay regardless of my job, what kind of work would I do? I'd love to build up by ebay business more...I have some ideas...it's just a matter of time to implement them. Taking care of 4 children is a lot of work and that takes up most of my time. But, I find ebay to be fun and I enjoy the hunt to find good things to sell.

If I was financially independant, would I continue to work? If not, what would I do? Well, I think I'd probably volunteer or something to still feel like I was making a difference in the world. I think we'd keep fostering as that is something that although it's a lot of work, it makes me feel good to see the progress in the children and you can't help but fall in love with them.

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I'm a Bloggin' Mama!

I got this one from Sarah on her blog (www.proudmomx2.blogspot.com)

The mom blogger quiz from MamaBlogga
Take the Mom Blogger quiz!

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Musical Monday

Cory (www.roosmom.com) started a new meme "Musical Monday" on her blog and so I thought I'd play along too. Today's was what's your favorite cartoon theme song. Mine is Scooby Doo

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Busy day...

Well, Deidra finally is starting to feel a bit better. She's up playing with Little J, although she still says that her head really hurts. She's still running a fever as well. They're up cleaning their room now per the House Fairy's e-mail that they had to each pick up 5 things. I have dinner going in the crock pot...chicken and dumplings. I'll probably make some corn later to go with it.

The boys are overly tired and won't take a nap. I had Baby J down for a nap, but Baby D woke him up. He does not know the meaning of "be quiet" and he'll just start yelling and babbling really loud for no reason and it drives me insane. I've tried whispering to him to demonstrate "be quiet" and everything. He just does not seem to get it. So, I'm trying to put Baby J down for a nap yet again and since he's way tired, all he's doing is crying.

They were supposed to come out and install our garbage disposal (we paid for the upgrade and they gave us the base unit instead of our upgraded one), so they were going to come out today to do that, but they are coming out tomorrow instead.

Well, I need to go break up an argument...

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I'm spreading my wings and learning to fly...

I mentioned recently that I put my house on a schedule. Cleaning this room and that room and doing this person's laundry...everything is on a schedule. I introduced the house fairy (www.housefairy.org) to the girls and they've even been running with it. It's nice not to have to get after them to clean their room or to clean up after themselves. I was really worried about Little J when I saw her totally destroy her room with clutter everywhere within an hour of getting here. So, they've taken to the House Fairy and I'm glad of it. I've been trying to establish routines as well by visiting flylady.net and I'm slowly learning to fly.

She works with several other people and they all teach you things about loving yourself enough to actually care about doing it and making yourself happier. I discovered her Body Clutter book. It teaches you why you've gained weight and what to do about it and a journey about finding yourself and loving yourself. And I think I'm going to check it out and see about adding that to my routines and so forth too.

There's another person that they work with that gives you a dinner menu each night and provides you with the recipes and the grocery lists to do that. THat will help me as well if someone else is giving those ideas for me...there's several different menu options to choose from...(www.savingdinner.com) and I think we're going to give it a go! Add more variety to our meals too as I've really been stuck in a rut of making the same things lately.

Well, I'm going to end this and get back to doing my chores for the day after I smuggle with Deidra. Yes, she's still home sick with a 102 fever...hopefully we'll be able to get her feeling better and back to school by tomorrow so she doesn't get too far behind.

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A Mother's Cry

A Mother's Cry:

I am weak...I am tired...I am worn.
I need strength and courage.
Courage to get up in the morning.
Courage to speak up at the right time.
Courage to keep still.
Courage to say "no".
Courage to let go.

- Gigi Graham Tchividjian

I received this from a friend today and liked it. So, I thought I'd share it here.

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Monday, November 05, 2007

Spent the evening in the ER...

Deidra was home from school today sick and just continued to get worse and worse. She went to bed last night with a bad headache and she was feeling slightly warm. Put her to bed and she was up at 1 am saying her stomach was really hurting. Got the barf bucket for her just in case and she wanted to sleep with us. We went back to bed and around 2 I could hardly lay next to her, she was so warm. Had Andy find the thermometer and in the meantime Little J was coughing her head off and I was afraid that she was going to make herself throw up and so I got her some medicine. Deidra had a 102 degree fever. Went back to bed and woke up several times checking on the girls. Had to take Little J to school today and Deidra just didn't want to move around. Came home and she slept most of the morning and afternoon. She woke up shortly before we had to go get Little J saying that her head hurt and her back was really hurting and she felt sick to her stomach. Went and got Little J and had to bring her and Baby D to their visit. We drove around for awhile and Deidra wanted some apple juice so I went and got her some and then she really started crying that her head hurt and she felt like nails were going into her spine. She didn't want to sit up anymore she just wanted to lay down. She continued to get paler and paler and I was trying to get ahold of the doctor. The doctor finally called when I was trying to get the kids in from out of the car and just as I went to answer they hung up. I called back to get their "after hours" message and so I called and left a message for the on-call doctor. Deidra was really crying at this point that she hurt all over, she didn't want the lights on because it was hurting her eyes, she didn't want anyone making any noise because her head hurt and she said her back really hurt. At this point, I started wondering if she didn't have meningitis. I asked her if she could put her chin to her chest and when she tried, she really started to cry. I went to take her temp again and she had a temp of 105.7 and so I took her to the ER. My Mom was nice enough to come sit with us as Andy stayed with the others here at home. They checked her urine and they did some bloodwork and they're pretty sure it's just a virus. The doctor doesn't see her getting back to school until Wednesday and we're supposed to alternate tylenol and motrin every 3 hours. She's still pretty tired and looking pretty pale. I feel bad for her. I took her to get a icee on the way home for being so brave during her bloodwork, she took one sip and fell asleep. I know sleep is the best thing for her right now though. I just feel awful for her. Praying that none of the other kids get it either.

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Talked with Little J's teacher...

I dropped her off for her first day of school with a note telling the school that her address had changed and giving them my email address and phone number so that we could discuss how she's doing in school. I came home and called the office to let them know as well in case Little J didn't give them the note. I thought they had understood, but they thought the foster family that she was with before had just moved.... So, they called me back a while later saying that they needed me to fill out new forms and they'd send some stuff home with her and that I just needed to provide proof of residency along with a copy of her placement papers. My caseworker was nice enough to provide them with placement papers so I just need to worry about getting them proof of residency. That was nice that my caseworker did that though as Deidra's home sick today. So, the teacher called to touch base briefly. They're going to send a copy of her report card home along with her daily folder so we can see what she needs work on. She doesn't know how to write her name, only recognizes a few letters, and she thinks everything makes the sound of M. Doesn't know how to count or any number recognition. So, I think I'm going to make up some flash cards for her alphabet and numbers and start working on them. She doesn't know all of her colors or shapes either, so that's also something to work on with her. Her teacher was glad to hear though that I stay home and that she was going to have Deidra here to look up to and teach her things and that I didn't mind working with her here at home. We have our work cut out for us. Her teacher said that she thinks she's a really sweet little girl, she behaves well for the most part, and that she just needs to be taught so many things. She doesn't know boundaries at all. I told her that we had certainly saw some of these things and that I'm always open to working with her.

I'm interested to see her report card...I really hope we can get her caught up.

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My Grandma Passed Away This Morning...

My Mom came over to tell me that my Grandma passed away this morning. This was the one that just came to visit over Labor Day that ended badly. I feel bad that our last visit had to end like that. My Mom has been praying for her since they found out that the end was more than likely near and the nurse said that she went peacefully. They want all the family at her funeral up in MI after the arrangements are made to fly her from FL up there. My Mom doesn't want me to feel obligated to go, but she wants me to feel welcome to go if I choose to. I told her it would depend on whether that was during the week or over the weekend and when it was as Deidra's birthday is this weekend. But, it's not like I can just leave the kids during the week either with school and everything and she understands that. I just wish that she was more friendly when she was here so that the last time my Mom had with her didn't end that way.

May you rest in peace, Grandma Meneghin.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord. And may perpetual light shine upon her. May the souls of the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

R. Amen.

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Sunday, November 04, 2007

I swear men have PMS too...

I seem to remember around this same time last year, Andy got really moody. Well, it's been going on around here over the last week or so again. Nothing makes him happy, he points out everything I do wrong, I feel neglected and unappreciated and I'm working my tail off around here. I asked to run an errand the other night...I just needed a little time out...and I was told that I could go but that I had to hurry up. I had to go in for a work meeting this morning and I was going to come home and grab the girls to bring them to church. He threw a hissy fit as we needed to go to the grocery store. So, I skipped church to come home. The time change was having an impact on the boys...they were overly tired and I wasn't that far behind them. Anyway, yeah, he wanted me to come home to watch the kids so that he could go to the grocery store by himself. I told him that I was a bit upset as he could have brought the boys by himself while I took the girls...I thought he wanted me to come home so that we could all go to the store together like we all have been doing. Then, he got mad at me and told me to get the kids ready to go then and we'd go to the store then. We ran to the store and the kids all did really well. We get home and I was throwing lunch together so that the kids could eat and I could eat lunch before I had to run in to work. He asked me if he could go work in the yard while I was getting lunch together. Yeah...why not?? The only break I get from the kids is when I go into work...yet he gets to go to work everyday, but yeah I can watch them all weekend long and have to work on top of it all too. Yet, he didn't see why I was getting upset. I told myself to quit being selfish and to take care of my family and that's what I did...but boy it took a lot on my part.

I got the kids and hubby fed lunch and I went in to work and everyone kept telling me how tired that I looked. I really just wanted to lay down. I was talking to some of the ladies tonight and they were all saying that their hubbies were in bad moods and ornary...wonder if it's related to the weather or the moon phases. I got home from work just wanting some time alone with Andy as the kids all should have been in bed...nope the girls are up watching Finding Nemo and Deidra's not feeling well (bad headache). Yet, he tells me "well, you better get used to not spending time together." Umm...doesn't he see that we need to spend some time together...we need to make time for us.

Abba, please help us meet one another's needs right now and put our selfishness aside. It's not like we're arguing or fighting really, but there's a lot of hurt feelings. I hate feeling taken for granted or like I just don't matter or that I'm just good to take care of the kids while he does his own thing.

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Saturday, November 03, 2007

She's here!

Little J is here! They dropped her off at 4 yesterday afternoon. She ran in the door saying "I get to live here now!" Her and Deidra ran off to play while I did paperwork with our caseworker and J's CPS worker. They made a mess out of their room in about an hour and so I had to spend some time cleaning it up with Little J. She cuddled on my lap for a little bit after dinner and then she sat by Deidra to watch cartoons before bed. She fell asleep on the couch after she got her medicine and so I took Deidra up to bed and Andy carried Little J up to put her in bed. It's nice to have another little girl in the house! Andy and I are both wore out though...I guess it's just going to take some getting used to with 4 kids to take care of. It breaks my heart though that she's only 5 years old and has to take antidepressants already. And we definitely have our work cut out for us if she's going to pass kindergarten this year. She had to sign her name on some placement papers and she has no concept of how to do that. And from what I understand from the CASA worker, she doesn't know her alphabet, colors, shapes, or any of that stuff. I hope I can catch her up with only 3 grading periods left, but I just don't know how she's going to be able to read at the level they need to read at by the end of the year if she doesn't even know her alphabet or any of the phonics. I guess I'll know more after talking to her teacher on Monday.

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Friday, November 02, 2007

Thinking about My Grandma...

I've found the last couple of weeks that my Grandma keeps coming to mind. I see something or hear something and it triggers a memory of her. I find myself cooking or in the grocery store or somewhere and she just comes into my mind. When she first died in 2002, I dreamt about her all the time. I thought of them as visits from her. After a couple of years, the dreams didn't happen all that often and now I honestly can't remember the last time I've had a dream about her. However, she really has been on my mind and I just miss her dearly. We were in the grocery store one day and Andy made a comment about how he didn't know if he could ever eat SPAM. I told him that Grandma used to make it sometimes and I had eaten it before and didn't mind it. I never ate it anywhere else, but her house though. Well, a couple weeks went by and I kept thinking about that and I decided to make some one night. The kids all loved it and mine didn't even turn out the way that Grandma used to make it, but it was still good. I think Grandma baked hers...I honestly can't remember, but I'm going to try that next time (I pan fried it this time) and see if it tastes more like hers. I used to love the roasts she used to make and she made really good chili and I loved the fruit salad that she used to make. Of course there were her turtle brownies too...but I already know how to make those. I really miss her...I miss our talks...I miss the fact that she totally used to get me and always said just the right thing to make me feel better. Yeah, she could tell me things that I didn't always want to hear too, but she was Grandma and I knew she just had my best interests at heart and she had a gentle way of saying them that it made it all ok. She always found the good deals at the thrift stores and I still feel close to her when we go out and do our ebay shopping. I wish we would have moved back to MI sooner though so I could have had more time with her the last couple of years that she was alive. I know that I can't change that now and that everything happens for a reason...but gosh, I really really miss her. My Mom bought me a bottle of Trejor perfume last year for Christmas. It was a scent my Grandma found and it smelled so good and she used to wear it alot. I wear it sometimes, but a lot of times I just find myself savoring it. I pick the bottle up and smell it. I can smell that smell when we're out and about sometimes and it just makes me instantly think of her. Definitely a smell that triggers memories. I wish Deidra could have gotten more of a chance to know her...I know she was too little to remember her when she died. I can still remember Grandma getting after me for feeding her room temperature milk though...Deidra didn't care...but Grandma sure did. She snatched that bottle right out of my hand to go warm it up for her and then she took Deidra and fed her herself and she didn't part with her until it was time for us to go. Anytime we went to visit Grandma with Deidra, that was one of the first things out of her mouth "Give me that baby." or "I'll take her." Grandma always loved babies and I know my Mom did too. I think that must be where I get it from. :-)

The boys are watching Sesame Street right now...guess what they're singing a song about...Cousin Myrtle. :-) This big smile just came across my face.

I hear so many people say that they were never close with their grandparents. I am so glad that I can say the very opposite of that. Granted, I was never close with my Dad's mom, but I still write her letters every so often. My step-mom's mom latched on to me when I first met her. After the divorce happened, I still wrote her letters and sent her pictures and so forth. She came to visit about a month ago (nobody knew she was coming...she just showed up)and she was in a fowl mood and told me that she didn't even consider me to be a part of her family while we were all out at Cracker Barrel eating dinner. I wound up getting up from the table crying, my Mom was furious with her mother and got up and ran after me. Grandma wound up leaving and calling a taxi to go back to the airport. We tracked her down across the street at the Waffle House and Mom told her that I was her daughter and that nobody was going to talk to me or treat me that way and Grandma told her that she was going to the airport and she could throw her stuff out. We found out just a coupleof weeks ago that she had gone into the hospital not feeling well and was diagnosed with lung cancer and they only give her 6 months to a year to live. All I can say is that I wish her the best, but after being treated that way, I don't care to see her again. And I hope that she can get over her meanness to enjoy the rest of the time that she has left with the family that she does have around her. Anyway, I kind of got off track here...so I'll end this.

Grandma Postema, I miss you so very much and I'll always hold you in my heart. I miss the bond that we had and the way that you always knew exactly who I was. I love you and I miss you dearly. You were one beautiful and special Grandma to me and I think I'm still broken-hearted about you being gone. I don't think a person ever gets over that. When I get to really missing you though, I tell myself that I will see you again one day. I imagine you up in Heaven talking to Jesus and rocking the babies and having tea with Mom and that makes me smile. I imagine you with Dale Ann on your lap rocking her and singing her to sleep. I know you are in a much better place now, but it doesn't make me miss you any less. I love you!

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