Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Melina's 15 Month Well-Baby Visit

I took Melina in for her 15 month well-baby check. She's 22 lbs (33%) and 30 1/2 inches long (46%). She's doing well. She got 2 shots which she didn't like and Josiah got very protective of her. He said to the dr "don't you ever give Melina a shot again." I had to laugh

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Lord, please turn this day around...

I understand some of the behaviors my children have...but some days it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I understand that the kids are ready to go back to school and each day as we get a little closer I think I too am ready for them to go back. Holy Spirit, please give me your strength to handle the things that come my way today. I hate having to get after my children so many times and realizing it's only 7:45 in the morning. I'm so tired of them screaming and yelling and picking at one another, having the 6 year old thinking that she needs to take care of the baby or that she can do it better than I can, I try to keep them occupied, but it seems like they just want to bicker and argue with one another or be mouthy with me. I know the Emily more than likely had times when she was expected to take care of Tracie or their birth brother, J. I understand that and I know that's probably where that comes from. I just keep trying to reiterate to her that I am the Mommy and that I can take care of Melina. This morning, Melina woke up at 5:30 and so she was up and I had fed her and the girls got up at 7. I got them their cereal and instead of Emily sitting and eating, she kept trying to get up and getting stuff for Melina and shoving it in front of her face. I kept trying to tell her that Melina had already been taken care of and yet she kept doing it...she was getting pieces of cereal and trying to feed her even when Melina didn't want it. Finally, I got aggravated and I yelled at her to go sit down that I was Mommy and I can take care of Melina. I needed her to listen to me and go focus on what she was supposed to be doing...eating her breakfast. All day long, her and Tracie are constantly trying to pick her up, shove toys at her, wrap her in blankets, and so forth. We keep telling them that Melina can pick what she wants to play with on her own, she can walk around and do what she wants, we tell her no no for the things that she can't touch and she goes about her way. She needs to learn to make her own choices and she is plenty old enough to do it. They can't seem to get that when she's screaming at them to put her down and whatnot, she wants to be left alone. I am glad that they want to help with her and that they love her so much and she loves them too. I just wish that they could understand that she is big enough to start doing some of this stuff on her own.

I will say that I am learning SO much about attachment in reading and through having Melina. I see the things that come naturally with Melina..some of it is hard to put into words. And I see the things that the others struggle with...I get angry at their birthparents sometimes for not investing in them more so that they wouldn't be struggling with things...things that they're not aware of or that I learn as we go along. I love all of my children so much and just want what is best for them. I know that they take those frustrations that they had at their birthparents and take them out on me as I am their primary caregiver. I try to be strong enough to take all of that. It's hard sometimes, but I know the best thing that I can do is to keep praying for them and trusting God that He knows what is best and that He will turn it all into something good. I am thankful for my children. I want to be the best Mommy that I can be to them. I just ask for your strength and patience and a daily renewal of your fruits, Abba. Thank you for all of your blessings. Amen.

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Monday, August 15, 2011

Busy, Busy, Busy

We went to Phoenix last month and moved my Mother-in-Law to Texas. She's going to live with us for awhile. She's been here for 3 weeks now. She's been a big help with the kids and it has been good to have her here. Getting to know one another a bit more and things are going well. It's an adjustment, but it's been a good one thus far.

Last week, Andy's Dad also moved to Texas. He's renting an apartment about a mile up the road from us. We got him all moved in and he's been busy unpacking. We are so blessed to have them here with us.

This is the last week of Summer Break...the kids go to meet their teachers on Thursday, so we need to finish up school supply shopping and we need to go clothes shopping too. We've had a busy summer filled with going places, watching movies, making treats, playing in the water, doing crafts, and spending time with one another. I took Deidra to see the Smurf movie a week ago. So cute and it was good! We left Melina home with Grandma this weekend and took the others to Six Flags for the day. Josiah and Emily were very brave riding the roller coasters. Tracie tried them out, but they scared her a bit. They all did great though and we enjoyed the day together. It rained a bit that day too so it wasn't quite as hot as it had been. Texas had 40 days of 100+ heat this summer right in a row. Wow!

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Thursday, August 11, 2011

A Leap of Faith...

I went and rented a booth in Country Corner Treasures in Ferris today to set up our stuff for resale. I'm going to try it out and see how we do. We have our own little room. I'm pretty excited, but it's scary too. My Mom and my Mother-in-Law have some stuff in there as well. I don't mind them selling stuff in there. We'll see how it goes. Abba, I ask that you will give our booth favor in there and that we will do well. Thank you for your blessings!


Tuesday, August 09, 2011

2nd Attachment Therapy Appt

We had our 2nd attachment therapy appt for Josiah today. We had 2 big concerns that we wanted to discuss. One being the fact that Mother-in-Law is now living with us and I can see him manipulating her to get what he wants without her seeing it. That's obviously normal as we're still in the honeymoon period with her and it takes some practice to see what he does and how he goes about doing it. I wanted some advice on how to go about handling it as I didn't want us to have problems like we had with my parents. She suggested that we call the kids out on what they are doing as opposed to trying to correct my Mother-in-Law for giving in to them or whatnot. Just lots going on that we normally don't let them get away with, but they are trying to see what they can get away with with my Mother-in-Law. That and I feel like I can't correct them without her stepping in. I am capable of correcting my children. What she doesn't necessarily see is that whenever someone is here at the house, they up their antics and so there's a lot more stress on my part trying to keep control of things. The therapist understood that. She suggested that Andy talks to her about some things, but that hasn't happened as of yet. Nothing bad really, just we all need to be on the same page and the bottom line is that the kids need to understand that they need to listen to me. Emma is already pulling the "well, Grandma said" when she doesn't want to listen to me.

The other big area of concern that I have is school. Josiah will be going from half days to whole days. He loves to exaggerate, confuse things that have happened, or just lie outright. It's been happening a whole lot more this summer than what it ever has. THe therapist knows about that too so I wanted suggestions from her...do I come out and have a talk with his teacher and the school about his behaviors upfront, or do I just let it go and let them find out for themselves. This is a whole new school with all new teachers for him this year. She asked if his file was given to the school and I said yes. She said that they will see that he already has a discipline file, but she said it would be in our best interests to let them know up front that these are the things that he does and that he likes to make stuff up and that we won't believe the things that he tells us about them if they don't believe the things that he says about us. She said to ask them to inform us if he makes accusations and that we would do the same when he makes them about the teacher and the school. We also talked about the support system of if his behaviors continue to escalate at school or on the bus. I told her that his IQ is high and he is very smart and that he's surpassing Emily with the stuff that he knows. She said that is all good, but what she is fearful about is the stuff that he is really lagging in...conscience development, morals, poor sense of hurting others and remorse...that type of thing. His behavior will get in the way of his learning...I told her that his occupational therapist has said that from the beginning. He is very smart, but the behavior gets in the way and prohibits him.

She brought him in and asked him how things were going and if he was being nice or mean to us girls in the house. He said that he was being mean. She had a talk with him about why he is doing that. They talked about his birthmom and how she wasn't safe and how he was then brought to live with us and how he is projecting all of his feelings of mistrust about his birthmom onto me. He got really sad during that portion, although he wouldn't say much. Then, she asked him about riding the bus and how he felt about that and if he was scared. He said no. She then said "you're not scared about riding the bus with all the kids who are bigger than you." He said no. She moved suddenly (he was sitting on her lap) and he jumped. She asked him if he knew that she was going to do that. He said no and that it scared him. He was then able to say that he was a little bit scared about riding the bus. SHe feels that he is masking a lot of his feelings and it's just coming out in all this anger and agression and having to constantly pick on the girls. The other thing that I wanted advice on was his constant need to talk and make noises. It gets to the point sometimes that I can't even hear the girls who are right in front of me asking for something because of how loud he is and sometimes I honestly can't even complete a thought. She told me to start giving him some nonverbal cues so that I didn't have to talk during that time so I wasn't yelling over the top of him. She said to hold up my hand and say a simple stop. If that didn't work to motion to zip your lips. If he continued after that, to put him in time out or send him to his room as he's being defiant at that point. I told her that I know he uses that as a controlling mechanism. You can't be talking to anyone, he's going to interrupt...he's gotta get in there at some point. She said that she's noticed that even when he's supposed to be keeping himself occupied on the other side of the door...he's constantly coming to knock on the door and he does it way more often than what a child would need something. Anyway, that gave me some stuff to use and try and we'll go back again next time. I think I'm going to have her start seeing the girls next time too. She gave us some homework as she said that he really needs to understand the concept of dialogue and that it's not all about monologue.

One thing that I did find interesting too is that when she lifted him up on her lap, she asked me if he was always so stiff. I said yes. She asked me again if I knew much about prenatal exposure and I said that she denied anything. She said with how stiff he is that makes her think that she used some coke and meth as that's typical with those kids. I guess it can't be ruled out as we really don't know.

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