Thursday, November 30, 2006

A Texas Winter Storm

Well, we had an 80 degree day yesterday for most of the day and then a cold front blew in that dropped things down to around 30 degrees. The metroplex was all under tornado watches yesterday as well as a winter storm watch. Today, we woke up to lots of rain and they told us to be on the look out for freezing rain and sleet and to be careful driving as the cold was going to make the rain ice over. When, I saw that the rain had turned to snow...I had to go and take some pics. We had been wondering what a Texas winter storm was going to bring, since we're just used to cold wind chills and lots of snow and ice up north. I just find it comical really. My Mom called me around noon and told me to get Andy to head home. I laughed. She said "Jess, you guys are used to driving in the ice...these people down here aren't. You don't want to be out in that stuff." The schools all have a 2-hour delay tomorrow as they don't know what the night is going to bring when the temps really drop down. Kind of a pain in the butt, since now I'm going to have to go in to work late because of it. Oh well, not much else I can do. Anyway, I thought I'd share some pics of a Texas Winter Storm. You can see how much snow that we got. Deidra says "it's as cold as icecicles out there, Mama." And she was the one saying when we first got down here in April "Mom, it's so hot down here that it needs to snow." Guess it is true that you really do adapt to the weather changes. I need to get her a new winter coat now so she can stay warm. :-)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Root canal went well...

I told him I was nervous about everything and he told me he'd give me some topical gel for the shots beforehand to help with that and he'd give me the nitreous gas to help with the anxiety. I didn't even know they were giving me the shots until they were done and I felt my mouth completely numb. The root canal itself was not even painful...I just felt pressure a few times. It took almost 2 hours and I almost fell asleep. I was pretty tense during most of it though. Now, I'm just waiting for this numb feeling to go away. I go back sometime in January to have a cleaning and get my crown put on. They just built my tooth up a little bit for now.

Thank you so much Abba, for a great dentist and for a pretty painless procedure. Now to turn my prayers to a good check-up in January.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Well, I'm scheduled for my root canal...

Abba, please continue to give me courage about all of this. I asked the lady when she called to schedule me if he could call me in anything for nerves. She said he won't do that, but to just remember that I was in complete control. If my left hand went up everyone was to stop what they are doing until I gave the go ahead to go again. She said that she's seen many people come into their office that hadn't been to a dentist in years, leave saying that he was very good and they'd be back and wouldn't go anywhere else but him. So, I'm going to keep reminding myself of that, but I am still very nervous about the pain of it all. I hate to sound like such a scaredy cat... Give me courage, Abba, and I pray that it won't be very painful if at all. I just want to get it over and done with. I go in on Wednesday at 3:30 pm. She was going to have me come in earlier, but this way Deidra won't have to be taken out of school early again and Andy can still work for a little over half the day.

Now, I just hope that he comes back with my antibiotics and pain meds soon. He brought me home mashed potatoes and popcorn chicken from KFC and eating went ok. Just took it very slow. Definitely a little sensitive to hot and cold right now and eating and drinking definitely makes me a bit nervous. But, at least my stomach is no longer growling.

Thank You For Being With Me

Abba, You are so good to me. I was so panicky at the dentist office. The guy wanted to examine my teeth and I thought he was going to try and clean them and I got way nervous and wanted to know what he was doing. He laughed at me. All he wanted to do was take x-rays of the tooth. Then, I notice that there's this sign on the wall saying "We Cater to Cowards" and I thought "yup, that's definitely me." They moved me to another room to wait for the dentist. I was so nervous sitting there and I was trying to think positive thoughts and I told myself that if You could take all that You did during the crucifixion that I could do my best at getting through this. And what song do I hear "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." It was then, that I knew that You were hearing my prayers and that You were there with me. The dentist finally came in. He looked at my tooth really quick, gave me some perscriptions for antibiotics and pain meds and left me to talk with the finances lady after telling me that I needed a root canal and he'd get me started back to feeling better. I blurted out "right now?" Talked with the financial lady about financing as insurance isn't going to cover all of it. I was so nervous about whether we would be able to get it or not. She was going to have me call in the office so she could schedule me right away. I told her I wanted to come home and do it as I honestly didn't know if we would get approved or not. I had Andy call when we got home and I kept telling myself that no matter what happened, You would provide. Well, we were approved for the dental that makes me feel so much better. I'm going to see if I can get in on Wednesday or Friday to get the root canal done. Andy's nervous about missing another day of work, but I told him that we'd just see when I can get it done and if need be, I'd try to just go by myself.

Money Worries

All I could think about last night was that I have this tooth to get fixed now, I have other dental work that should be done too as I've been putting it off (2 cavities) since I was pregnant with Deidra, we all need to get our teeth cleaned, Andy still has to get his horn fixed on his car so it will pass inspection, the inspection needs to be done on his car before the end of Jan., his car still needs to be registered and we need to get his Texas plates. I still need to go to the eye doctor so that I can get my drivers license down here (I failed the vision portion with my left eye at the drivers license place so I have to see the eye doctor to determine if I really failed or if I need glasses or whatnot) and now this thing happens with my tooth. And right at the start of the Christmas shopping season. I think we'll be alright as I already have half of my Christmas shopping done...I just have Andy, my Mom, and my brothers to do now. Everyone else that we have to ship stuff to is already done. And we did Deidra's the other night. I just pray that the dentist office will be able to fix my tooth today, that I'll be able to get sedated like I want to, and that they'll work with us on financing or a payment plan if it's going to be expensive to fix. Please help us dear Abba, and help me quit worrying about everything.

Broken Tooth and Head Lice

Abba, please help me find courage today. Help me put my worries aside and trust in You. My health insurance isn't the greatest, but at least it's insurance so I won't complain. But, I am just worried about how much all of this is going to cost and I don't want it to set us back again.

The past couple of days have just been bad...well just a couple instances really. Otherwise, everything was going pretty well.

I was eating frozen peanut butter cups in my ice cream last night and managed to break one of my back molars. I'm petrified of the dentist and have an appt at 2pm for a consult. Depending on what the dentist says and their schedule, they'll either fix it tonight or I'll have to go back. I'm asking to be sedated. I won't eat or drink either as I'm too petrified of it causing more pain or breaking the tooth further. I'm scared though. Poor Andy...I've been so touchy and tense today. He's staying home with me to take me in case they can fix it right then so I'll have someone driving me home.

Took Deidra to church yesterday. She kept scratching her head. I thought maybe it was because I had put some new hair accessories in her hair. At the end of church she moved her head just right in the light and I thought I saw something in her hair and thought she had a scratch or something until I saw it move. At first I thought it was just a bug, but then I realized "OMG, she's got lice." The final song was being sung, so we got up to leave and I got her home and looked and her head was just full of them. I had to be to work, so I had to leave Andy to going to get the lice shampoo and I called Mom to see if she'd come help him as he was freaking out as he didn't know what he was looking for and what to do. When I got home from work, the bugs were gone and he was washing the bedding and clothes in hot water (soap too of course). We're going to give her another lice treatment here in the next few days just to make sure that they're really gone.

First Turkey Dinner...

was a big success. We had so much food, but it was definitely a big and delicious feast. You'd never know that I'd never made a turkey before. No was so good. I even made a glaze for it with maple syrup, apple juice, and cider spices. Mmm! We had candied sweet potatoes, twisted mashed potatoes and gravy, coleslaw, a big salad, green bean casserole, baked beans, and I made 3 pies...pumpkin, peanut butter, and peaches and cream. My brother, Jimmie, ate about 3/4ths of the peanut butter pie himself along with a piece of the pumpkin and the peaches and cream too. He nominated me to make more pies for Christmas. He wants me to make him a banana cream and chocolate pudding one. I told him I'd see what I could do. :-)

Mom and I went for about a 6 mile walk after I could feel that one for a few days, but if felt good to get out there and walk. The weather was beautiful too and the tree leaves are finally turning down here so it was just nice to get out in it all and walk. 70 degrees outside and it was awesome.

Thank you, Abba, for a day filled with family and so much to be thankful for. Thank you so much for all the blessings that you have given us...

Things I am thankful for...

1. My faith

2. My hubby

3. Our beautiful daughter, Deidra

4. Our beautiful daughter awaiting us at some point in China

5. Andy's job...they are so good to him there and it's nice to see him being appreciated for all that he does. He really likes his job too and that's been a long time coming.

6. Our's so nice to be in a place of our own again. It may be small, but it's our spot and we are really enjoying it.

7. Our kitties who keep us company and have such different personalities.

8. My job at Home Depot...I may complain about it a lot, but it's also been a life line to me since we moved since I don't know any other people down here yet.

9. Our church...we all really like it there and it's so nice to be able to live so close to it.

10. Being near my Mom and brothers again. We've had a few arguments where we don't necessarily see eye to eye, but for the most part, it's really been wonderful being together again.

11. We're on the right track with finances and knowing where we want to go and we have definite goals to look forward to in the near future.

12. Deidra's teacher is really awesome and she goes to a really great school.

13. Everything that you have blessed us with this year...the good and the bad. We've learned a lot of life lessons over the year and each thing that we encounter helps mold us into who we are and helps us cherish the good all the more.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Want to Join my Flock?

Jessica and Dawn are trying to make a difference for animals affected by oil in the wild, and they would like you to help.Jessica is spreading the word, and has created a flock, a virtual community of friends, committed to making a difference. Please join the flock by clicking here.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

What Accent Do I Have?

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Inland North

You may think you speak "Standard English straight out of the dictionary" but when you step away from the Great Lakes you get asked annoying questions like "Are you from Wisconsin?" or "Are you from Chicago?" Chances are you call carbonated drinks "pop."

The Midland
The Northeast
The South
The West
North Central
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes

Deidra's Kindergarten Picture 6 Years Old

Here is my precious little Deidra. This is her school picture that she had taken. Kindergarten. She's 6 years old. I can't believe how grown up she's getting. Such a big girl!

13 Things About Me

Abba, thanks so much for making me who I am today. I've had a lot of struggles to endure, but they've helped mold me into who I am. Thank you for allowing me to be who I am and please help mold me into the rest of the person that I am to be.

1. I was born in MI and raised there.

2. My real Mom died when I was 8 and was one of the hardest things that I ever had to deal with.

3. I gained a step mother when I was 9 (just a few months after my Mom died) and that was also one of the hardest things that I ever had to deal with although I'm glad that over the years we have become very close and love each other a lot. I always say now that I'm blessed to have 2 moms in this lifetime that have loved me very very much. I'm proud to call her Mom.

4. I have 2 brothers, Zach (18), and Jimmie (16). Although if all of my siblings would have made it (miscarriages) I would have had 8 sisters/brothers.

5. I have only had 1 boyfriend other than Andy and I didn't date him until my senior year of high school.

6. I went to 3 different school districts while growing up. The last move was the hardest on me (moved 6 weeks before the end of my junior year), however if it didn't happen I never would have met Andy.

7. I have lived in 3 states. MI, IL, and TX.

8. I am very shy and it takes me awhile to make friends but once I do, I remain very loyal to them.

9. Each move I have made in school and in the states that I have lived in, I have at least one friend who is near and dear to my heart.

10. I always wanted a family of 4-6 kids. Big families have always fascinated me.

11. I love to scrapbook although I am way behind. I am making that a resolution for next year though that I'll get caught up and make at least a page per day. I also want to start scrapping for others and get back home again.

12. I am about 60 lbs overweight, but I really want to get back down to the weight that I was in high school or darn near close to it.

13. I absolutely hate infertility and what it does to a person and how it makes them feel. I hate that I've had to struggle with it, but at the same time I've realized that it truly makes me realize the true blessings that children really are and I cherish each and every moment with Deidra. She's not always the perfect child, but we make lemonade out of the lemons and we plug forward. But, I do know that there is a plan for me and for our family and that we will have more children...either through adoption or the natural way and I'm hoping that He'll give us both in the near future.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Thanksgiving and Christmas Shopping and Helping the Hoffmans

Hello everyone! The Hoffman family wanted to wish everyone a very happy and blessed Thanksgiving. We hope that you all have a wonderful holiday. As Thanksgiving usually marks the start of Christmas shopping as well, we wanted to send out some reminders on our fundraisers that we have going. All profits from these go directly into our adoption fund savings to help bring Deidra a baby sister from China.

Anyway...if you are buying anyone a magazine subscription for Christmas or need to renew a subscription for yourself or someone else you can help us out by purchasing the subscription through this link: .

Do you need wrapping paper to wrap your Christmas gifts or other presents? You can buy wrapping paper and other neat little gifts through Current. We have a fundraiser set up through them as well. All you have to do is visit and it will ask you to pick the fundraiser state (TX) and the fundraising group that you want to help out (Hoffman Adoption).

Do you need any candles? Aromalight has a ton of wonderful scents as well as some other neat little gifts to choose from at their site. We also have a fundraiser set up with them. All you have to do is visit and put in your order. When you get to the payment details there will be a box for Special Instructions to put in a group that you want to help out. Our group name is Hoffman Adoption and our affiliate # is 01o2097 if you want to put that right underneath.

We also have our ebay store with tons of stuff in it. Tons of books, home decor items, collectibles, clothing, gourmet items, seasonal stuff, and lots more. You can visit us there at

And if at anytime you want to find out where we're at in our adoption journey you can read about it at . A lot of it right now is just talking about our fundraisers as we're still in the saving stage, but once we get the process started (as soon as we can get the first half of the money saved up) there'll be a lot more news being posted.

And the #1 thing that we're asking for...please keep us in your prayers as we get closer to beginning this journey that everything will go well. We are very excited and appreciate your prayers more than ever.

Christmas Shopping is 1/2 Way Done...

I wanted to get all the stuff that we had to ship out of the way. I wanted everything ordered so it would be on it's way. We are getting everyone the same thing so it was pretty easy. I just wanted to know that it had time to get here, I had time to wrap everything, and I had time to get it on it's way to their recipients by the time Christmas was here. I know mail delivery really slows down this time of year. But, I went around to the various websites and got everything ordered and paid for. Now to just do the shopping for our immediate family that we're spending Christmas with and I'm done. :-) I'm so glad that we budgeted for this pay period and that we took the time to figure out what we were getting for who and what we had to spend on each person. I'm pretty happy with how things are going. Now to just get the rest of the stuff finished up and buy for Deidra, my Mom, my brothers, and for Andy. We also want to buy a gift or two off the Angel tree and we're going to donate some pantry items for the collection at church too. I pray for a safe and holiday season, Abba, and to truly remember the reason for the season. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays! It's a little weird down here though to see all the holiday decorations going up on green lawns in the 60 and 70 degree weather. But, it's all good...just different than what we're used to.

Prayers for a few friends...

Hi Abba. There's some people that I'd like to lift up in prayer. I pray for Jen and for her Dad that he is able to heal and recover quickly and I pray for the family that they're able to stay strong in taking care of him and I pray for Jen for safe travels as she travels back and forth.

I pray for Tonya as she prepares to start her chemo and I pray for a positive ending to all this. I pray for her friends and family that are worried for her and I pray that you bring Tonya comfort during this time.

I pray for Tracie as she worries about some parenting decisions and she worries about what her girls think of her for not working because she wanted to be home with them. She's feeling guilty for some of the things that she wasn't able to give them.

I pray for Chris as she goes through her separation and I pray that her and Todd can work things out before it comes to divorce. They just had a baby together in October and they already have a 2-year-old and I just want the best for all of them.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

More Prayers for Hal

Abba, I lift up Hal to you in prayer as well. He's had such a rough year with being in and out of the hospital. He's been so sick. He had pneumonia and valley fever and the doctors really didn't think that he was going to pull through. He's been home for a couple of months now, but he's had to be taken back to the hospital a few times now since then. Just when they thought they were getting away from all the doctors appts and hospitals after his surgery last week (they had to remove a fairly large kidney stone that they thought was the host of all the infections he was getting), they had to bring him back in for bleeding from the surgery. I pray for healing for him and that you will help them in this ordeal. My MIL and him have been getting so discouraged that he takes a step forward only to have to take 2 steps back. Help their spirits and keep them encouraged. Help him get through all this and be able to stay home from the hospitals for a long while.

Prayers for a friend

Hi Abba. Please watch over T and let them get good news back on Friday. Cancer is such a horrible thing and I pray that they caught it in time and that it will not have spread. She has 2 daughters that need her yet very much and wonderful friends who love her. Please watch over her and I pray for good news that they were able to get it all. I also pray for a quick recovery for her from the surgery and that her spirits will stay positive. She's scared right now, Abba. Please bring her Your Peace.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

So, this is what it means to have a 6-year-old huh?

We come home from work and school. I had a couple of things I had to do when we first got home. I hear her looking in the fridge for her snack. A couple minutes later she brings me a plate with a sandwich on it. "Here Mommy, I made you a sandwich." I was so proud of her and told her that I had already eaten but that she could eat it. She's never attempted to do anything like this before. I've been telling her for a week now that once she turned 6, I had to stop babying her so much and doing every little thing for her. I'm proud of her for making her own sandwich...she now wants to make one for Daddy for his dinner when he gets home from work. But, it's bittersweet at the same time. She's definitely growing up on me.....

Abba, where has my baby gone?

Monday, November 13, 2006

Deidra's 6th Birthday

I now have a 6-year-old, Abba, I just can't believe it. Where has the time gone? She's a beautiful and mostly well-behaved little girl though so I'm not going to complain at all. She's been such a blessing and we couldn't love her more. That little outgoing personality that she has and she's so cute and funny at times. My mom says she acts like a little adult, but I don't see that a whole lot. She is just so precious to us and I thank you so much for giving us the gift of parenthood and such a precious and beautiful little girl.

We celebrated Deidra's birthday at Chuck E. Cheese with me, Andy, Deidra (of course), my Mom, and my brother, Jimmie. She was spoiled rotten too. She got a Pixel Chix house, a Polly Pocket set that she can play with in the bathtub, a Littlest Pet Shop Digital Pet (hamster), a very cute outfit, a Spongebob shirt, Spongebob pajamas, Perfection, a Spelling game, some books, a couple Strawberry Shortcake DVDs, and she went and bought a stuffed animal of a Barbie cat with her own money. She just had a ball. We cut things close since I had to work that night. I didn't even have time to come home and get my own car...they had to drop me off at work at the door. I made it on time though. Thank you for a great birthday celebration!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Busy morning...

I'm tired. Andy didn't get home until about 2 this morning and I had waited for him until about 1:30 before I fell asleep. We got up at 6:30 this morning to get ready for school. Dropped her off, ran and dropped a check from my Dad off with my Mom, and then ran out to do Deidra's birthday shopping. I got her the Pixel Chix house (am going back to get her the mall too tomorrow), the Littlest Pet Shop Digital Pet (hamster), and some Polly Pocket stuff that she had been wanting. Came home and have been talking to the mortgage lady about buying/building a house this coming April (one more duck to get in a row before we officially start the adoption process). I think we've finally got our financial stuff down to know what we want and where we need to be to start everything that we want to do. Now to just figure out if we can actually make it happen. :-) I'm excited. Help us stay on the path, Abba, and help to keep us motivated.

Adoption Update

Well, we've made a few financial decisions this week. We're really going to focus on getting back to doing Dave Ramsey's plan and getting some of these smaller debts paid off. My medical insurance really is bad now that I'm part-time and I've had some medical bills that have sat us back. We're hoping to pay off some of them by the end of the year or shortly after the beginning of next. Once that happens, we're going to begin majorly saving up for the first half of the adoption and getting that started. We're hoping that by the time we get our taxes back, we'll be able to start the whole process. I'm excited and just hope that we can really buckle down and do this. Some of our other debts, we'll just have to keep around until after the adoption to begin paying those off. It's just something that is going to have to happen so that we can move forward and get our baby girl home. We've wanted this for too long to wait anymore. One thing that helped too was that we had to borrow some money from Andy's Dad when we were trying to get back on our feet...he called this week and told Andy that he wanted us to start paying the money that we were paying him every month and put that towards our adoption and in his mind the debt that we owe him is forgotten and taken care of. He just wanted us to put that money towards our adoption now. We felt the need to discuss things as we didn't feel right not paying him back. We told him last night that we had prayed about it and talked things over and for right now, we'd discontinue paying him and focus on the adoption, but later once we have our baby girl home, we'd eventually get him the money as we felt that was only the right thing to do as when we borrowed the money from him, we told him we were going to pay him back. He told us that we don't have to pay him back ever and we told him that we'd see. But that money will help to go towards our adoption as well. I have no idea where that all came from, but it seems little by little the family is becoming more and more supportive of the idea and are getting anxious about it which helps. :-) Anyway, that is our update for now. Things are definitely going slower than we planned, but I have to remind myself every time I get down about it, that this is just going to happen in God's timing...I can't force it along. God has the perfect baby for us and we just have to wait for her and let God take care of all the little details and we must just let it all come together and unfold.

Horse Races and Friend Stuff

Andy really does work for an awesome company. They give each department money each year to pick an activity for team building and they pay for it. Andy's department is going to the horse races in Arlington tonight and each person gets $100 to spend (all paid for by the company). They could pick wherever they wanted to go. Andy says that whoever gets the least points tonight is in charge of planning next year's activities for the department. So, he's hoping that he'll do well. I'm excited for him that he gets a night out with the guys, but I'm also jealous a little bit too.

I so need to make some friends here. I need a couple good friends that live near me. I've been very melancholy over the past couple of weeks and I think that has a lot to do with it. I can't believe that we've been here for 6 months now. I'm slowly coming out of my shell. I've made a couple good friends at work and we do stuff with my Mom and brothers a lot and there's a guy that I work with (and who also goes to our church) that I'm friends with and would love to do some bible studies and such with, but he's very moral too and he doesn't want to cause issues or cross any lines considering the fact that I'm married (which I totally respect him for). He's someone that I would totally love to get to know better though...he has a way of talking to me and telling me exactly what I need to hear (and I don't necessarily like it at times...he's kept me in line more than once) and he doesn't always know what's going on in my life when he says it either which is kinda freaky. I told him the other day that it's almost like his spirit knows mine or something. My Mom really likes him too and she wants me to invite him to a bible study through church or invite him over to dinner at her house when she has the gang over. I told Mom that she just likes to take in kids and people. lol. I've been praying for some good Christian friends and I know that it's just going to take some more time to adjust to the move and everything. One of my other friends from work, Cindi, is my Mom's age but we just talk and talk and talk. It's kinda funny sometimes. I've been very homesick lately though. I wish it didn't take so long to drive back home and it's so expensive to fly.

Anyway, I need to get some cleaning done and then I think I'm going to curl up with my Mitford series by Jan Karon and read for awhile.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Thank You

Thank you, Abba, for helping us out with the money situation. I knew that I just had to hand my worries over to You.

I also want to lift baby H up to you. I know that they can't confirm or deny whether we actually had a baby, but I feel in my heart that it was a loss. I know I already prayed for the grace of baptism on All Soul's Day, but I want to ask again. I put my baby into Your Hands. I will wait until the day that I can see baby again in Heaven.

I think I made my peace with everything at mass on All Soul's Day and again on Sunday. I still have my rough moments, but I know there's just some things that I can't understand yet I know everything happens for a reason. I pray for the opportunity to be a mommy again soon though and I will praise You and thank you in the meantime. Help us, Abba and guide us to whatever you have in store for us.

Now, I'm stressing...

Went to the doctor for my ultrasound...didn't show anything. Uterus is back to it's normal size and he didn't see anything abnormal. I was relieved about the fact that he had me worrying about fibroids and there aren't any, so that's a good thing. He said that he can't confirm or deny that I had a miscarriage though. So, $178 later and I still don't know. Now, I'm stressing over the money aspect of things since I just gave him the last of the money that we had and I still may have overextended ourselves since Andy doesn't get paid until the 15th. That was Deidra's birthday party money and everything. And her birthday is on Saturday...we had a whole Chuck E. Cheese thing planned out for her and everything. So, I turn my money worries to you, Abba. I called and left a message for the doctor's office to see if they'll credit us back some of the money and then we can pay what is due on the 15th, but I don't know if they'll do that for us or not. Please let everything come together for us. I really need to get on some better insurance. This paying 40% of every visit thing is hard. Especially when I just gave them $60-$70 when I went in on the 1st. Please help us out, Abba, and let everything come together. Help us not to worry and stress over all of this.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Possible Miscarriage...

Well, I was a week late for my period. I had been having cramps ever since the week before my period was due, sore breasts, nauseated, and very sleepy. One of my co-workers told me that she thought I was pregnant and gave me a pregnancy test to take. That was last week Thursday. That turned up negative. Still didn't know why I wasn't feeling very well. Tested sugars...that is all normal. Tuesday morning, I went to the store to get another pregnancy test as I really felt that I could've been. Got home and got sidetracked with something and went to the bathroom to find that I had begun to spot. Put the tests away for another time and figured my period was here... I went to bed on Tuesday night with horrible cramps...and my stomach was as hard as a rock. I woke up around 3:30 am not feeling right. Went into the bathroom and passed what appeared to be a sac. I was only half awake, so I never thought to take it out of the toilet to bring to the doctor. I went back to bed and told Andy that I thought that I had just had a miscarriage and I was calling the doctor in the morning. He asked me if I wanted him to stay home and I told him that I would be ok and he could go to work. If I needed him, I'd call him and let him know. Well, the bleeding proceeded to get much worse and I really started to pass some large clots. When I called the doctor when they opened, I was soaking through a tampon and pad every hour. He told me to come on in before 10 am and he talked to me, had me a do a urine pregnancy test (that was negative again), said he wished that I had brought him what had passed so he could see it to know for sure. Then, he said he was going to do a blood test and do an exam. He did the exam and told me he didn't feel anything that indicated that I was pregnant although my uterus was on the large side and he didn't know why. He gave me some hormones to stop the bleeding and wants me to go back in on Monday for an ultrasound. I came home and talked to my Mom and she said that it definitely sounds to her that I had a miscarriage as she went through the same thing when she had hers and I told her that I don't want to call it something that it's not, but when I saw what passed in the bathroom, something told my heart that we had just lost a baby. I'm feeling more confused after going to the doctor, but I guess I'll know more on Monday once they do the ultrasound and everything. Mom told me that I knew my body better than anyone else and to rely on what my heart said. She told me that of all days to lose a was All Souls Day...and we would pray for that baby. She was feeling sad about it too when we went to Mass together. She said that she's thrilled though that we're down here and she strongly believes that if I keep on trying to lose the weight and getting myself feeling better that there will be another baby for us and Deidra will get that baby sister and brother she's been praying so hard for. I saw on her face though that she desperately wants to be a grandma again, so that made me smile too. I just wish that I knew for sure what was going on.

Kitty Litter Cake

One of my Mom's co-workers made this cake for their Halloween party. He gave the leftovers to my Mom so my brothers could finish it up. I did get brave and try a bite and it wasn't bad, but it definitely looked gross.

Uncle Jimmie and a Little "Warmer" Deidra

Deidra dresses a little warmer to go outside. Uncle Jimmie finishes up his kitty litter cake (nevermind his face...he's trying not to laugh).

Grandma Davis and Mommy

Grandma Davis and Mommy.

Trekkie and Tinkerbell

Daddy and Deidra are all ready to go trick-or-treating. Can you believe that Daddy has had this costume since senior year in high school?

Our Little Tinkerbell

Deidra getting ready to go trick-or-treating at Grandma Davis' house.

Munster House in Waxahachie

There is some people that live very close to us that have built their house as an exact replica of the Munster's that were on tv. Check it out!

Abba, this is such a neat little house...well, I guess I shouldn't say's actually quite large. Bless them on this endeavor. It certainly is different, but kinda neat too.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Off to the doctor...

to confirm what I think I already know. My heart is feeling pretty sad, but it helped talking with my Mom this morning. I'll post again once I know more and see what the doctor says.