Finally got Deidra's First Communion Dress, Veil, and Shoes ordered!

I so can't wait now for Deidra's first communion. I picked out all of her stuff little by little over the past month or so and finally ordered it all today. Wanna see?

the front of the dress....


the veil....


the back of the dress....



the hoop slip for under the dress...


the shoes...

Spring Break

Well, we made it to Michigan for spring break. It was hectic with 4 kids and now I think I need a vacation from our vacation. We all had a good time. We left Friday around 2 pm and drove all the way there. We got to my father-in-laws about 10:30 am. The kids were into everything and we were exhausted. We took it easy on Saturday and just hung out with Dad. Sunday, Uncle Rog and Aunt Lee came over and we visited with them for awhile and then their daughter, Jamie and her husband, Jim came over. It was nice to see everybody and spend a couple of hours visiting.

Monday, we had a playdate with my friend Cindi from Chicago and her little boy, Charlie at the McDonalds in Jenison. It was great to see her again. Her youngest, Ben, was at home sick with Grandma and since I never got to meet him and we were planning on going to the mall to see Andy's cousin, Melissa, we decided to stop by there. I took a huge fall at her house (and I was holding Baby J) and I was humiliated and embarrassed. I so didn't see a strip of wood that she had going across one of the rooms and as I was trying to step to the side so that Andy and the girls could get into the house I lost my balance and fell over it onto my back. Baby J landed on top of me. Andy said I just missed hitting my head on her marble table. I'm just thankful I didn't break anything as I'm sure the decor in that room wasn't cheap. I'm glad that I got to meet Ben too! After that, we went to Rivertown the see Melissa at work. It was great to see her again. She's getting married Labor Day weekend. When we were driving home, Racheal called. She was too excited that we were there and couldn't wait to see me (we had plans to go over there Tuesday night) and asked if we could stop over for awhile. So, we wound up going over there for a couple of hours. It was a great time! Her girls have gotten so big! Deidra spent the night over there with the girls and she was in all her glory.

Tuesday, we woke up and found out that Deidra had stayed up until 4:30 that morning giggling and talking with the girls. I told Racheal they were going to be just like we used to be and Racheal said that's what she was thinking too. Rach and I have been friends sine 7th grade and I can go months without talking to her and yet when we talk again, it's just like we talked yesterday. I have a friendship with her that I don't think I could ever have with someone else. We've always wondered if the girls would have the same closeness that we have. We went and visited Andy's Aunt Lori for a few hours and then we went over to have dinner with Racheal, Tony, her Mom, and her girls. We hang out that night and the kids all played together outside. Rach cooked hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, cole slaw, and baked beans for dinner and it was all so yummy. It was kind of neat to watch the girls all playing altogether. I thought Deidra was going to cry when she had to tell the girls good-bye and Andy thought Abby was going to cry when she hugged Deidra good-bye. I guess when we left, Abby did cry. Makes my heart break.... they are talking about writing each other letters though and Deidra has asked if she can start calling them once or twice a month. I told her I think we could probably find time to do that.

Wednesday, we took the kids to the Children's Museum which was a lot of fun, and then we took them out to Grand Haven to see Lake Michigan. They all loved seeing the beach and all the water, but we didn't stay long as it was so cold. We stopped by to see my Grandpa after that and it was good to see him again. He's not so sturdy on his feet anymore which was hard for me to see. The kids got kind of rowdy too so Andy and Deidra took them out to the van and I stayed for a few more minutes to talk to Grandpa and Rose before I headed out. I cried a few tears after we left. We went back to Andy's Dad's house and had dinner and Little E wound up breaking one of his lamps. We put the kids to bed and Andy and I decided to go up to Grand Rapids Brewing Company for a drink together and we stopped at Meijer's to buy his Dad new lamp shades to make up for Little E breaking the lamp shades. His Dad was mad that we bought them but whatever. It's the least we could do...

Thursday, we went and got new tires for the van and then went to lunch with Andy's Dad to Culver's. After that, he drove me down to Racheal's so that I could spend the day with her. We took Jackie (her youngest) to the ENT and then brought her back to her Mom so we could go have a Mommy's Night Out. It was a much needed night out and we had a blast. We went to Rivertown for some clothes shopping as Rach needed more spring stuff. Then, we went to On the Border for margaritas and dinner. Mmm! After that, we wound up looking for a Nextel store for a replacement part for her hubby's phone and then we wound up at Starbucks. We got kicked out as they were closing and we didn't know what else to do. She was driving me back to Lowell and I was 3/4th of the way home and she said that she didn't want to say good-bye just yet and asked if Lowell had a bar where we could sit and talk. I said they did, but when we went back to go there the bar was already closed. Her sister-in-law called us back as we were trying to find a karaoke place to go to earlier and the place I remembered, Racheal thought had closed. Racheal talked with her and found out that the place still existed, it had just moved. So, we drove back into Grand Rapids and went to the Village Inn for drinks and karaoke. We had a blast and her sister-in law, Debbie, and her other aunt-in-law who is really probably closer to another sister-in-law, Kim met us there. It was fun and I giggled and giggled. Rach kept getting me drinks as she was the one driving me home and I kept looking at her as I only ever have one drink. She got 4 drinks down me that day. lol. Anyway, she finally got me home around 2 and it was hard to tell her good-bye.

Friday, we got up and went to go get the brakes fixed...we thought it was only going to take about an hour. They had a mishap with getting our parts there and so we had to sit there for about 4 hours. I was pissed. But, what can you do? It wrecked our plans though as I was going to go to my old Home Depot and to the one that Andy's Dad works at as he works with a girl I used to work with at Cracker Barrell. Then, we were going out to the cemetary to put flowers on my Mom and Grandma's graves. However, with the brakes taking so long we didn't get to do that. Andy's cousin, Jamie, wound up coming to pick up Deidra to take her out to lunch and Deidra really enjoyed that. They brought her to Culvers. She really misses Melissa and Jamie so I'm glad that she got to go do that with her. Anyway, we wound up going back to Andy's Dads so that the kids could take a nap and I could lay down for a bit as I was going off of 3-4 hours of sleep at that point. When we got up, it was time for Playworld. Some people that I used to work with at Home Depot came, along with some of my family, and Andy's friend, Joey, who he used to date in high school. I really liked her...she's been through a lot sicne then...she got in an accident after high school while riding a horse...she hit a tree...spent 7 weeks in a coma, went through a lot of rehab and therapy, and my heart just goes out to her. She's a beautiful person, really sweet, and is married with 4 kids now. I looked at her accident pictures and I just wanted to cry. I can't even imagine what all that she's been through. Ok, I'll admit that I was a bit jealous too as I know how Andy used to feel about her. But, I was all good once I met her. She's very sweet. We hung out there and let the kids all play together for 4 hours and Deidra was thrilled that she got to see her cousins. It was a fun time!

Saturday, we packed up to leave after eating breakfast. Andy's Dad made us french toast...it was yummy. I can't remember the last time that I've even eaten french toast. My Grandma used to make the yummiest french toast ever...I've never had any even close to how good hers was. I can't eat french toast without thinking of hers. Anyway, We got back home around 6:30 am on Sunday morning. It was a great trip!

Some things that I am very grateful for...

That Andy had a good review at work.
That Deidra got all As and Bs on her report card.
That my Dad's surgery went well.
That I have great friends who believe in me.
That I get to go on vacation next Friday to MI and see family and friends that I haven't seen in almost 3 years.

I guess the best that I can do isn't good enough...

I had a really hard day yesterday. The girls had their speech re-evaluations to see how much progress they've made in the last 6 months. I was watching their baby brother for a few hours as well. Baby J had been a handful ever since he had woken up (we were up early)...his meds are off again...I think they need to be upped and had written the caseworker last week about that. She was going to have the nurse call and talk to the doctor but she was out sick. Anyway, the girl's speech evaluations went ok, but they informed me that they don't think Baby T is going to qualify anymore because of how much progress she's made. This dumbfounds me as everyone has troubles understanding her and she gets frustrated easily because she can't communicate effectively. They told me that if she's still not pronouncing things very clearly at 3 years old, that they can work with her again. Well, why not continue to work with her as everyone thinks she's still way behind. Anyway, I had my hands full trying to keep everyone out of the playroom during their evaluations and Baby J was tipping over his chairs, breaking crayons, throwing things, and kicking and screaming because he was not getting his way. He was a total bear and I had my hands full, full, FULL! He was like this all day long...I left a message for my caseworker yesterday afternoon to let her know that I was concerned about the girl's speech evaluations and what all happened, that Baby J really needed to have his meds upped, and something that had happened with the girl's case. She was out all day yesterday and so she got back to me this morning. She let me know that Baby J's CPS adoption worker isn't too thrilled that he's as young as he is and on medication so she's thinking that they may come back and tell us that we have to take him off. Doesn't make me too happy, but I'm hoping it won't come to that. However, due to those concerns my agency won't call the doctor to have his meds upped and wants to have a staffing with all of us to talk to the doctor at his next medication review...that means we get to take him on vacation like this as his appt isn't until the 26th. Great! My caseworker is always telling me that I can vent to her anytime. I just let her see a little glimpse of what yesterday was like. The email that I got back from her totally hurt. She thinks that Baby J needs to be the only one in our home so that we can work with him on behaviors (I don't see how moving the girls is fair to them and we want to adopt the girls if we have the chance as well..which is looking more likely), and she thinks that the reason he acts like he does is because I'm not firm enough with him and he knows that he can walk all over me. That totally hurt...I have tried all I can think of with him...the meds were my last resort. To say this child is strong-willed is an understatement. Anyway, my occupational therapist and his Mother's Day Out teacher can see a difference in him on medication (when it's working)...he listens better, he's able to focus on what he's supposed to be doing, he actually walks instead of runs, and he can actually play with toys instead of running around the room pulling everything down, pushing buttons, making a mess, and just being destructive. It's almost like he doesn't know how to play he's just trying to get rid of energy the best way that he can. Anyway, the meds do help and he slows down enough to focus on what he's supposed to be doing. I was just surprised by the tone of her e-mail when she was totally on board with me the other day when we were tallking. I've been crying about it all day long.

I had to take my paperwork up there as it was due today. I walked in and handed her my paperwork and told her I was going to let her go. I always talk to her for at least a few minutes when I go in there. I walked out of her office and tears were immediately in my eyes. I got out to the van and I just started bawling again and poor Deidra keeps asking me "Mommy what is wrong?" I couldn't say anything to her as she wouldn't understand. Anyway, she wanted ice cream and I decided to drown my sorrows in a peanut butter fudge sundae. I came home and she had apologized and said that she was just giving me advice, that she didn't mean to personally attack me if it came out that way and that the kids were blessed to have me as a mom...I don't know what to think...