Neurofeedback therapy

We got the results last night that it is working.  The dr. had left the graph at home on accident, but I should see it today, but I do see some small results too.  So that is a good thing.  :-)  He is calmer a little bit and you can see that he is starting to think when he gets angry, before he just starts reacting.  He's not always successful, but you can see it a little bit.  I'll take it.  I can't wait to see the next few sessions and the changes that are made.

Garage Sale

We had a garage sale this weekend.  I'm really trying to turn it into a resale shop where we can have more sales out of our garage and once we get going, finding a store front somewhere.  It was an idea I had...we had several people this weekend tell us that we should do so.  I'm going to print up some business cards as we are already licensed for resale anyway...we've just been more online, than anything.  I already have had people emailing to schedule a time and come to shop.  I also put out an email as foster/adoptive families will always be near and dear to me that I would give them a discount to shop with us.  I may try a discount card as well.  One thing at a time...but I'm pretty excited about it.  :-)  I may see how I do too once school starts with alternating sales between one evening a week one week and then staying open during school hours the following week on Fridays.  We'll see how it goes.  It'll hopefully bless our fellow community and it will give us some money to go towards paying for neurofeedback therapy for Josiah as well.

God please bless us with this and bless the people that come to shop with us.  Amen

She did her own pigtails!

She did her own piggy tails!  I told her that she did a great job and she said "I learned how Mom from watching you!"  :-)

The birds and the bees...

Andy and I found something on Deidra's facebook page saying that she was in a relationship. When I asked her about it, she said she was joking and she was going to put "with air." Lots of her friends are trying this out so I don't really believe her...throw in the calls that she's been getting from certain boys and the fact taht his status on his page says the same thing, I think she's just too embarrassed to tell me.

I sat down and wrote her a letter explaining all the changes that were goign to be happening to her body, how it was normal to start liking boys at this age and that it wasn't anythign to be embarrassed to tell her parents about, but that we weren't going to officially let her start dating until she was 16 and she had gone on a date with Daddy first. How her body will start cycling, and each month it will prepare for a baby to grow in her house, and how males and females come together in a special way (sex) and she can get pregnant. I gave her the reasons why we watned her to wait to start dating until she was 16 and also the reasons why we wanted her to wait until she was married to have sex. It was a hard conversation to have, I asked the Holy Spirit for guidance. I just wrote the letter as I wanted to get my thoughts done and then I sat and read her the letter and gave her a chance to ask questions. She was embarrassed and I was embarrassed and afterwards she just hugged me and I cried. I can't believe my baby is big enough to have this conversation with already. We're going to go away for a weekend and do the Passport to Purity program together. She told me where she wanted to go for her weekend and now I just have to plan a weekend, hopefully in August, to go.

Stir-Fry for Lunch Today

I had some vegetables that I needed to use up from our Bountiful Basket before they went bad. So, I made some stir-fry for lunch. I browned up a lb of organic grass-fed beef and then I added cabbage, bok choy, celery, broccoli, mushrooms, zucchini, and some Bragg's Liquid Aminos. Mmm mmm good! The kids all ate it up too!

Sprinkler Fun

Melina and the Pacifier

A couple of weeks ago, Melina started taking her pacifier clips off and handing them to us. She'd come and ask for it when she wanted it again. She calls it her "ice." Anyway, Tuesday, she bit her last one in half. It was a hard day with the kids, and I didn't feel like listening to more crying...I was just ready for peace and quiet and I knew if I put her to bed without a pacifier that she wasn't going to be happy. I went and bought two more, however I told her that we were only going to have the pacifier when she went down for her nap and down for night night. Yesterday, she came and asked me a couple of times for her "ice" and I told her "no, we have to do wait until it's night-night time to have that." She'd get upset, but as long as we distracted her she did fine with it. So proud of her! Hopefully, in a little while we'll have her totally weaned from it.

Josiah's First Neurofeedback Appt

We had a really hard day yesterday and I couldn't wait to go to his first appt. He couldn't either. It was yesterday at 5 pm. It was interesting watching him play a game with his brain. No hands, just his brain. If he did what he was supposed to the game progressed. He played a game called Highway. He had certain color boxes on the bottom that he had to keep within the black box that was around it and it told us if he was paying attention, one was whether he was relaxed, and I forgot what the middle one was but he had to keep it stretched out between the other two. If he did everything that he was supposed to, it would put the white strip down in the middle of the highway and as he earned points he was rewarded with stars in the sky and if he got so many stars, it would give him rewards of other things to see. He got to see 2 hot air balloons. The dr said he did very well. However, it was very interesting to see that he sometimes he's paying attention, but it's not for long at all. And most of the time, he's just zoned out. It helped somehow to make me realize that I really need to ask for eye contact and give him short 1-direction commands. He came home last night and was very calm. This morning, he got up and where he's normally jumping around and very loud...he's a calmer kid. He's still loud, but he's calmer. I don't know how to explain it, but it's something that makes my heart soar. I'm proud of him. I have hope. I feel really good about this.

Granted, he did have an angry outburst this mornign over it not being his day and that he couldn't go first and that somebody took the cup that he wanted and he started screaming and ran behind the chair, but I was able to pull him into my lap and he was able to stop before it escalated into him flipping furniture at people or over. The neuropsych told me that as he gets better at doing what he's supposed to do on the games, that it will carry over to help him not fly off the handle over every little thing and we'll see an improvement there too. I can't wait for Saturday when we go back.

My ministry page...

An announcement...

I felt God stirring my heart...I started a ministry page this week. Don't worry, I'll still be posting here about my daily life as well. However, if you are thinking about adoption or have already adopted. Please join me at The PEA Garden...a community of Parents Embracing Adoption. I am hoping to get some guest bloggers and maybe a book study going...if you're interested in posting once in awhile or suggesting some books...leave me a comment and I'll get back to you. :-)

Come join me at
http://www.thepeagarden.blogspot.com/

Hello!

I'm Jessica. I wanted to participate in the Boy Mom BlogHop so here's my introduction post.


I've been married to my husband, Andy, since September 12, 1998. We got married in Chicago, IL where our oldest daughter, Deidra, was born. Deidra is 12. We had some help getting pregnant with her. When she was 3, we felt God calling us to adoption to add to our family. Anyway, we moved to MI (where my husband and I both grew up) and looked into international adoption, but the cost was too high. The timing wasn't right either. So, about a couple of years later, we moved to TX and God called us to foster care and my husband and I determined that as long as our daughter remained the oldest, we'd take any child regardless of their age or race and foster them. If they were to come up for adoption, we would be their forever home. We had 8 foster children. 5 left our home and either went home or to other relatives/friends of the family. We gave 3 of them forever families. We have a little boy, Josiah, that is now 6. He is a very intense child to parent and I rely on God to give us all the graces that we need. lol. He has ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, sensory integration disorder, reactive attachment disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. A couple of years after his adoption, we wound up adopting 2 half-sisters, Emily and Tracie. Emily has ADHD as does Tracie. Tracie also struggles with sensory integration. Right before we found out that we were going to be able to adopt our girls, God gave us an added blessing and we found out that after 9 years of trying, we were pregnant again. Josiah was a little bummed that it turned out to be another sister, Melina. But, she has taught us so much and brought us so much joy and we have really learned a lot about attachment with her. Anyway, I am the Mommy to 5 very precious children and although some days are really hard and really crazy around here, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I just staretd a ministry page for those of us parents who have embraced adoption (thepeagarden.blogspot.com)...it's brand new this week. So, if you are interested in adoption or have adopted children...come join me at The PEA Garden...

Also if you want to share about your boys and make some new friends go link up here at themobsociety.com :-) How fun!

On my heart...

I've heard God telling me to write on adoption. I thought he was leading me to writing a book and I wrote a few chapters, but then I hit a stand still. I have been a part of some adoption communities that have grown very bitter about their parenting battles and their children's problems and I just feel like God is telling me to keep close to Him in prayer and to bring him everything concerning my children. I feel like He wants me to be a light and to hold on to hope and to keep holding on. I feel like I finally know what He's calling me to do with the adoption community...stay tuned. I'll have an announcement to make soon when I reveal His plan through me. :-)

Need some prayers...

My Dad is coming into town either later today or tomorrow. Last time, he came in to town it triggered Josiah and he started having accidents. We just started getting a handle on them and I just don't want to start battlign them again. My Dad also doesn't understand my kids issues either and it's caused some arguments between us in the past. It always makes me nervous when he comes in to town, so I just ask that you cover my family in prayer. I wish my brothers would step up to transport him to his doctor appts and stuff sometimes so that it wouldn't always fall on me.

A political discussion and a dream...

It's amazing to me how our brains work...

First, let me start out with what happened last night...Andy's Dad (a democrat) and Andy ( a conservative) were having a political discussion about voter ID being enforced to vote. It led into several different topics. Andy's Dad happened to mention that all congress was trying to do was overturn things like Roe vs Wade and he won't tell anyone how he feels about that...he just doesn't discuss it. I never batted an eye at what he said. I was rocking Melina and playing with her before bed at the time.

I went to sleep last night, woke up enough to roll over and apparently my brain was processing that information as it was right there in my head...it was then, that I realized...my father-in-law is apparently pro-choice. I've never heard anyone who was pro-life say that they didn't discuss those things or tell anyone how they feel about Roe vs. Wade. Then, I told my husband that all I see congress in battles about now is the battles concerning religion and birth control, abortion, and that type of thing. I haven't heard of overturning roe vs. wade. I don't keep all that much in the loop though as I normally have my hands tied with being hall monitor of the house with behaviors and so forth ensuring safety of all in my house.

Andy said that must have been a brain mechanism that my brain has so that I didn't start yelling at him about pro-life. I told him that I can remember even sitting in high school and the topic of abortion coming up and listening to the kids talk about it in debate and just leaving the classroom in tears. I strongly believe that no matter how a girl finds herself pregnant...it's not that babies fault. If you don't want a baby for whatever reason...give it up for adoption. There are a lot of waiting parents out there who would gladly take a baby.

I just don't understand...I'm not here to debate it. This is obviously my blog and my feelings on the subject and I'm just being open about them. I believe that God tells us that we shall not kill...that baby is alive from the moment of conception. It's not ok to take that life. I don't judge those who have had them in the past...I've had friends that have opened up and told me that they've had one in the past and how sorry they were that they had one. And I think since they are sorry, God forgives them. He loves us and He understands that we're not perfect and that we make mistakes. I wanted to put that out there in case I've had any readers that have had one in the past.

Anyway, back to what I was trying to say. I don't understand how some people can be pro-choice and yet they're against murder. If a parent made up their mind to kill a child that they didn't like or just because they weren't in the right mind...happens all of the time...we all can agree that is wrong. Yet, we say that when a child is still in the womb (not in 3rd trimester) that's ok to do it then. it's the same difference in my eyes. Just because we never got a chance to see that baby being held in it's Momma's arms...or we got to see that baby grow up and see it blossom...that makes it ok to take their life. So, a woman makes the decision to abort their baby 1 day before they hit the 3rd trimester, or a week before...that's ok? Yet, it's not once they reach the 3rd trimester. I don't know...I'm being all over the place now. I guess I just don't understnad and knowing my father-in-law and the type of person that he is, I guess it just surprised me. Granted, he never came out and said it...but he knows that we are pro-life and that most of his family is too and so I can understand why he wouldn't come out and discuss it. I'll end it now.

Lord, I lift up all the Momma's out there who are scared to find out that they are pregnant and don't know what to do. I just pray that they will give their babies the best gift of all...life. And I pray for all those unborn babies out there. I pray that the Momma's who want to go to abortion clincis today, will have a change of heart and that they will realize that they have other options that can give their babies life. Amen.

Our appt with the neuropsych and our attachment therapist

We had our neuropsych appt today with our attachment therapist. He wasn’t familiar with our kids like our AT is, so it was interesting to hear him describe our kids to a t just based on neurological data and what the numbers represented.



We did Emily first…she has no problems with anxiety or depression, it did point to some problems with attention and ADHD, but it said that she had the fair ability to concentrate once she got going. So, she needs lots of reminders to get her going on her task, but once she’s in the middle of doing it she has a fair amount of concentration to keep going. That was good news about Emily.



Then, we discussed Tracie…she has no problems with anxiety or depression, it did show that she has some problems with concentration, she has a little anomaly (sp?) with her frontal lobe, so she has a lot of issues with processing, sequencing, and trying to figure out how to do things or what she needs to do to do them and we found out that that’s where all of her crying comes in…so we just need to work on teaching her to use her words when she doesn’t know how to do something so that we can walk her through it and teach her some better coping skills. Her scan also points to ADHD. That made me feel better about Tracie and now we know how to help her as well.



Then, we discussed Josiah…it threw us all for a loop as he has the most normal scan of them all. No history of anxiety or depression, his scan points to ADHD, frontal lobe slowing, so problems with thinking and processing, He’s our kid that has to be constantly moving to learn and take everything in (sensory processing). Where the ratio there to show ADHD is normally only double, he’s a little more than triple. He thinks his coping mechanism with it all is his anger, defiance, and destruction. He asked us if you did get him sitting still for a few minutes if he just would go to sleep and we said yes. That’s him. With everything that we’re going through with him, we’re going to start doing neurofeedback. He’s going to give us the first 10 sessions for free as he said there is a small percentage of the population that doesn’t respond, but it can’t hurt anything to try. So, he said if things are moving after the first 10 sessions, that we’d work something out for the cost…he’d charge us so much per visit or I could just make payments until we had it paid off or whatever..he just wants to help. We have to commit to doing them 3-4 times a week at first and then once things get going, we can move to 1-2 times a week after that. We did discuss whether he saw reactive attachment disorder in the scans and he said where he normally sees that in the scans, he didn’t see a problem there with Josiah. However, he thinks that neurologically he may be attached in his own way, but the loving feelings and all that you would show towards people may be covered up by all this anger and aggression that he has right now. That gave me some hope right there. I told him that with all the problems that we’ve had over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been about ready to pull out my hair so I’ll do anything if it has a chance of helping and I know that he gets angry at himself as well. He did say that he gets overstimulated quickly so if we had a place for him to play alone or by himself until he got back in check, that was what we should be doing. We already do it and it causes a huge rage. He wants to be around everyone, but we have the rule of if you hurt someone you need to be separated for awhile. He thought that was good, but I’m going to try explaining to Josiah why that’s good for him and see if hopefully I can help him a bit more there. They did tell me that they think there’s a question on whether his meds need to be upped. I told them that he’s always been my hard to medicate child. He does well on new meds for 2-4 weeks and all of a sudden they quit working. I told them the story of when he was on Clonidine. We started out on a half tablet and worked our way up to where he was taking it 4 times a day. The psychiatrist that was seeing him at the time shook his head once while watching him bounce off the walls in his office and he told me “when I see teenage boys in the psych hospital, I give them a half of a tablet once and it knocks them out for a whole day…he’s on 4 times that dose and it has no effect of tiredness on him at all.” I told him that it did slow him down some, but it never made him tired. That’s making the neuropsych think that maybe there’s a problem with the brain stem and that we need to try to increase the medication and see if that helps for the short-term until we can see if the neurofeedback can help him there as well. I’m going to see if we can move our psych appt up. I discussed all that had happened with him over the course of last week and how he really got out of control on Friday. She told me that the next time that happens, she wants me to take him to Children’s. She told me that if I wasn’t such a good mom that was up for a challenge and Andy wasn’t such a dedicated father, that he would have been in residential treatment a long time ago. That made me feel good…I want to avoid that as much as possible.



We may or may not decide to do it with the girls at a later date…I have a pretty good handle on them. However, he did say that they could probably correct the anomaly with her frontal lobe with neurofeedback, so we may do them later. However, I think Josiah is first and foremost right now. I’ve got to get a handle on him and I know it’s not fun for him either. And if we work on this throughout the summer as much as we can, hopefully that will give him a better chance at doing better in school this year.

God, I need all the graces that You can give me...

Andy left this morning and Josiah instantly started. We got through breakfast and I pulled the cups down and put them on the counter and started handing out the pills for the littles. It's Tracie's day so she went first. Josiah started throwing an absolute fit over the fact that he wasn't first and that he didn't get to pick his cup first. He acted so badly that I sent him to time out to calm down, he ran from me, got behind the kitchen table and it took me a minute to get ahold of him...I was really surprised that Andy's computer that sits on the table was not pushed off the table by him he was SO mad...he kept going back and forth pulling on the blinds, walking all over Andy's computer, putting his hands on the keyboard and moving it back and forth, I was just waiting for that monitor to come crashing down. I got him finally and I told him that he had earned bedroom time. He came back downstairs after time out was over, we prayed together, we had a little talk and we tried to move forward with the day...it wasn't a full 5 minutes later, he had slapped Tracie. I sent him back to time out and he wouldn't go, started running all over the house. Back to bedroom time he went. He raged in there, kicking the doors, playing with the door stopper, slamming his closet door over and over, SCREAMING at the top of his lungs that I hated him, he didn't care about anything, whatever he could think of to yell, he was yelling it. Went back up when his time out was over and tried to pray with him, he promised he'd be good, he came back downstairs, no sooner did he get to the bottom of the stairs, he had hit Tracie again. No reason for any of it, just did it. I turned him around and marched him right back up the stairs. Every couple of stairs, he'd throw himself down and I pulled a muscle in my arm somehow that's sore. Anyway, this was all before 9 am. We had one more incident after that, and I told him that I thought it would be better for all of us, if he just stayed in his room. He was obviously really angry today and nobody needed to get hurt by him and so he was just going to hang out in his room. He launched himself at me and threw something at my head. Thankfully, it didn't hurt like he was wanting. I went back up to talk to him after a few minutes and we once again prayed together and he was able to vocalize that he just wants to do what he wants to do, he doesn't care if anyone gets hurt or if he breaks stuff, he just feels like he's going to hurt people if he gets mad. I asked him if Mommy and Daddy hurt him every time we get mad and he said "no." I told him that he needs to start dealing better with his anger. It's over everything...some of it is SO silly and doesn't make any sense...you never quite know what's going to set him off. The girls and I said a rosary in the hopes that he'd calm down some. Didn't work exactly like I wanted it to. But, I know my prayers were heard and it's in God's hands now. Anyway, I had to ask my Father-in-Law to come over and stay with him so I could run to the store. Deidra went with me and I made it quick. We got home and I fed the kids their lunch and then told him it was time to go back to his room and a whole other rage happened which resulted in me getting something chucked at my head again all because I told him that I wanted him to try to use the bathroom so he didn't have any accidents. My Father-in-Law went to talk to him and then took Deidra back to his apt for awhile. He's been throwing himself around his room, kicking the floor so hard the lights down here are rattling, and then he announces "I just had an accident." Nevermind that we had just been in the bathroom and all. I told him that I wasn't going to give him new clothes right away (I was going to make him sit in them for 20 minutes so he could feel the wetness), I think part of the reason that he continues to do this is because the minute he has them, I go and get him new dry clothes and he changes. It's not unpleasant for him at all. I wanted him to have to feel that wetness for a few minutes. Now, he's mad at me and raging again because I won't get him new clothes and he doesn't like that his clothes are wet. I'm hoping that this will get him to stop all of this. I told him the other day that he couldn't go to camp if he continued to have accidents left and right. He announced that he'd do what he needed to do from that point on and he hasn't had another accident until today. It's been almost 20 minutes, so I'm going to go and get him some new clothes to change into and talk about this with him. I can only pray and hope that this afternoon will bring some calmness. It's just after 2 and I'm drained. If he escalates much more, I'm really contemplating with taking him to children's. This full moon really needs to be done and over with.

NOt letting them know that they are pushing your buttons...

The last week or so has been hard around here, one child gets going and they all seem to feed off of them and they all start pushing our buttons at one time. Josiah unfortunately missed out on watching the fireworks on the 3rd. Deidra stayed here with him while we took the others down to the end of our road to the pond to watch them. She watched from the front yard. She offered to stay, so I took her up on it. Emma was very close to losing out, but she pulled herself together and was able to go. The 4th brought the parade, we grilled up a yummy lunch of Applegate hot dogs and veggie patties, Beanitos chips, and beans and then we went up to Grapevine and went to the Sea Life Aquarium. We walked around the mall for awhile and then went to Red Robin for dinner on the way home. The kids were acting up on and off all day. Andy sent them outside once we got home to try and burn off some energy. Josiah hurt Tracie by kicking her in the chest on the trampoline (on purpose) and so I called them in and sent them to bed instead. I was feeling really low last night. I'll admit that I've been losing my temper lately. It's hard not to when they are constantly pushing your buttons, alot of times more than one child doing so at the same time. This morning, I told Andy that I think we just need to really work on not letting them know that they are succeeding at pushing our buttons. Making our voices nice and even and disciplining and holding them to their consequences without yelling and losing our temper. I've been successful today...almost lost it once when Josiah kept throwing himself down on the floor and running from me when I was trying to get him to time out....finally resulted in me having to put him in his room. I've been trying to pray a lot and asking for prayers a lot when things are really getting chaotic. The past week or so has been trying. We get the results of the neuropsych testing that we had done in March on the 9th. Kinda nervous, but hoping we can find out what next steps to take as well.

The primal scream...

Friday, this Momma let out a big primal scream. The kids were all going crazy at once, I would say no, they would do it anyway, Josiah gave bubbles to Melina again (even though literally 5 seconds earlier I took them away and told them that we don't do that in the house and we'd do them outside in a little bit) and while I was trying to go get them they wound up being thrown, went all over my couch, splashed off and wound up going all over the recliner with Tracie in it too. Emma's going through a huge phase where she wants to talk like a baby, doesn't want to listen, and encourages Melina to do bad things. Josiah's whining and throwing fits and rages all over everything, having accidents, not happy about...STUPID stuff. Not once in awhile...more like every 5 minutes. Anyway, the minute those bubbles went all over all I could do was let out this primal scream. I knew we needed to leave the house and so we went to the park to burn off some energy and to gain a new perspective. All last week, with the expection of Thursday, was nuts. Dealing with nothing but misbehaving. Andy about went crazy with them just during dinner time every night. All I kept saying was try having them over 12 hours a day before getting a break. It's been a little hectic...I know it's the full moon. It can be overtime now. They're beautiful, but boy does it wreak havoc on my kids. Today, we left the house in hopes of not dealing with so many behavior problems. It was hectic, but it semi-worked. We went to the bakery and got gluten-free cupcakes as a treat, went shopping for a 4th of July outfit for Deidra, went and played at the dinosaur park, and then the whining started from Josiah that he was hot and sweaty and he needed to eat and he wanted breadsticks from the italian restaurant. We stopped in one more store and he started running up and down the aisles and just as I was scolding him, he tripped and fell. I told him that natural consequences are God's ways of helping Mom's. That's why we don't run in the stores. Turned around and couldn't find Melina and just about had a heart attack. She went in the middle of the clothes rack to play hide and seek and pulled the clothes around her. I almost started to cry. Thankfully, Emma noticed her little feet sticking out. We left and Josiah started really whining that he was hot and hungry and he wanted to eat at the restaurant. I told him that we'd go home and eat lunch and the drama got even worse. We got to the van and got everyone in he kept whining and whining. Finally got home, got some mac and cheese made and the kids fed...didn't even get a chance to eat myself and he was whining that he needed something else. I asked him to sit and wait patiently. I got a call from my Dad saying that his U-Haul payment was overdue. I said that's not possible as we set it up as automatic payment and he has the money in the acct. He asked me to call for him. It wasn't what I wanted to deal with, but I did it for him trying to be the good daughter. They were supposed to have a manager call me to take an e-check payment as I couldn't even give them my card since my brother has it. My Dad wound up calling and he got all mad that they were going to charge him the late fee and started telling me how tired he is of bills and late payments when he's over 1000 miles away and how he felt like just blowing his head off and not dealing with it all anymore. I told him that obviously I take care of his bills and I get them paid on time. He says wherever he turns people want money from him. He got involved in an international dating scam over the last year and wouldn't listen to me when I kept telling him it was a scam. Finally, I was able to pull up some more info last month and he got looking at something I showed him and he finally believes me now. I won't go into great detail about what all happened as that's his business. But, I just felt like he takes out his problems on me sometimes. I could sit and cry. Anyway, to make a long story short, they got the problem taken care of with the late bill. Dad was mad about them still charging the late fee and semi-apologized for being a grouch. I no sooner hang up with that, Josiah starts in on the tantruming again. Deidra's friend had come over to ask if she could hang out for awhile, he wanted to go for a bike ride and I told him that we'd do that later when it wasn't quite so hot outside. Deidra left with her friend and he started throwing a fit that he couldn't go on a walk with them. I told him that they weren't going for a walk, they were going to her friend's house. He threw something at me. I picked him up and he wanted to throw himself backwards so I put him up against the couch and told him in a very firm voice that we do NOT throw things at me just because he's not getting his way. Then, he decided to up the drama and started screaming that I was about to break his arm. I had a hold of his arm to keep him from running off, but I wasn't in any way shape or form about to break his arm. I finally told him, you hurt someone, you go up in your room. I give him 15 minutes and he'll be asleep. I get downstairs and Emma's making Melina scream left and right...they think it's funny to lay down flat, make her sit on their chest or face. I don't find it appropriate and I keep telling them to have her sit next to them. She kept talking baby talk and telling Melina that she smelled like poo poo and Mommy needed to change her. I finally got to the bottom of the stairs and took her to change her diaper and there's no poop in there. I wound up sending Emma to her room. Then, Tracie starts yelling at me to change the channel. I asked her if that's how we ask. She started pouting. I told her if she wanted to pout, she was welcome to go to her room or she could use her big girl words and ask nicely. Thankfully, she chose to use her big girl words. Melina started throwing a fit about something. I scooped her up, grabbed her blanket, got her a bottle and deposited her in her crib. Josiah's yelling at me from his room that I never let them do anything. I told him that we do stuff all of the time, the problem with him is that anytime he has to wait even a minute for something or he can't get his way or what he wants, that's a problem for him. I came back downstairs to try to clean up lunch and I just feel like letting that primal scream come out again. However, I practiced some self-control and I didn't. I just told Tracie to sit nicely and give me some time to myself as Mommy needed some time to herself. So, here I sit. God please help me to be more patient, help the kids settle down somewhat, and want to be more well-behaved. They can do it. I know they can. Give my Dad some peace about things. Please let Andy be able to leave a little early from work today too.

Tracie's all done with OT...

Tracie is all done with OT now. They felt that she made enough progress to be dismissed. She's been in OT since she was 23 months old, so I've been ready for awhile now to not have to live according to a therapy schedule. But, I am very proud of her and that she is finally all done with therapy. YEAH!

Quiet Time...

I've gotten away from quiet time for the last probably 3 weeks. It's hard to do when the kids are up at the crack of dawn and wanting to come down right away. Today, my spirit just told me that they needed to stay in their rooms and I needed to give God a few minutes to just pray over my husband, my children, and myself. It felt good to do that again. Things go so much better when I take the time to do that every morning. I need to spend time with God alone so He can speak to my heart. And I'm learning that my kids need to respect that too and that it's ok for me to have that time before they come down and we start our day together.