Rattlesnakes

Abba, I pray for safety for all of us with the poisonous things down here. Don't let any of us be bitten or harmed in any way.

Well, we took D to ride her bike at the park a few days ago. There's a health trail that we walk on that goes for about 10 miles. We got a couple of miles down and we were letting D ride up ahead a little bit and then she'd circle back and come back to us. All of a sudden we heard her say that there was a snake. We ran up there and there's a baby snake going from one side of the road to the other. We have taught her not to touch the snakes and to keep her distance and we didn't know what kind of snake this one was.

Fast forward to last night, we're walking on the path with my brother, Jimmie, and my mom and these girls walk past us telling us be careful because there's a snake eating a rabbit on the side of the path up ahead. Andy and Jimmie go up to see if they can find it and I picked D up to carry her and my Mom rolled her bike along. They find the snake and Mom told us that it was a rattler. I said that was the same kind of snake that we saw the other day, so she must have a nest of babies nearby.

I told Mom that all the questions on asking her if she's seen all these poisonous things...turantulas, rattlesnakes, black widows, brown recluses, and her saying that she's only seen 1 rattlesnake in the 10 years that they lived here and now they're coming out full-force. There was a lady that I was waiting on at HD the other day too that said they've lived in their house for 15 years and never had snakes and now they're finding them all over. Mom said that maybe the dryness is driving them out to find water or something. Just a little unnerving. I don't want to find any in our backyard or anything.

Abba, what are you trying to tell me?

Hi Abba. Mom helped me to realize a long time ago that you communicate things and usually confirm them and we've found that we hear you tell us the same thing 3 times. Granted, you use other people's voices to do so. :-)

Anyway, I've been praying for quite awhile now on whether to continue with the infertility treatments or whether to start up the adoption process. I know that I need to trust in your timing. Anyway, Margaret (Mom's friend who used to be a nun), gave me a book on the Scriptural Rosary. It has so many neat things in there and I decided to start at the very beginning and pray a decade a day. The very first decade in the book was about the Announcement of John the Baptist. It talked about Zechariah and Elizabeth and how Elizabeth was barren and although she was old in years, God was going to grant her request to have a child and she was going to have a son. It talked about Hannah and Sarah too and there was even a verse on Moses.

The very next day, I was in the car and Focus on the Family with Dr. Dobson was on the radio. He was interviewing an author (don't remember her name or even the book that she wrote), but she was talking about how it was important for women to have friendships and that if you looked in the bible an example of that was Mary and Elizabeth. When Mary learned of Elizabeth and her pregnancy, she visited with her and John the Baptist leapt in her womb for joy. Elizabeth couldn't believe that she was going to be a mother after being barren for so long and Mary supported her during all of that. And Elizabeth was also there for Mary. It was then, that I knew that You were trying to communicate something to me.

It was either that night or the next day after that one, that I returned to my Scriptural rosary and the next decade was on The Visitation of Mary and Elizabeth and again it talked about how Elizabeth was barren, but was finally going to have a son regardless of her age. Are you trying to tell me that we're going to get pregnant soon or are you just trying to tell me that you do have a child for me somewhere?

Andy and D went to Mass on Sunday since I had to work and Andy brought home the bulletin. I just glanced at it briefly and in the Pastor's note section it said something about how God calls us to welcome the little children and I took note of that as it was meant for us.

Last night, Mom and Jimmie went walking with us in the park. Afterwards, Jimmie and Andy went and pushed Deidra on the swings and I decided to talk about all of this with Mom and get her take on it. She told me that You definitely have plans for us and we prayed that you would reveal to us if you had a child waiting for us out there. She was carrying a little prayer book in her hands and after we prayed, we went to go get the boys and Deidra across the park. She happened to open up her prayer book to a prayer to the Infant Jesus and all of a sudden she says to me "Look what I just opened to." she handed it off and again there's the story of Elizabeth being barren and God granting her a son...the visit from Mary and John leaping in Elizabeth's womb for joy.

You're definitely communicating something to me. Mom gave me the suggestion to continue to pray and to read the Bible on the books that talk about Elizabeth, Hannah, Sarah, and Moses and to see if You will reveal to me there what it is that you want us to do.

One step closer to this whole adoption process...

Hi Abba. Help us to figure out the best timing with all of this...which country is best for us to adopt from...and which agency to use.

I just want to have another baby. I don't care how it happens anymore. I just want another baby. I'm tired of waiting. I've begun to do more research and we've started talking about the idea more. We've begun looking into China adoption. We really need to decide where we're going to adopt from and what agency to use. I still really like the idea of Guatemala as we can adopt 2 children at the same time and have the adoptions completed within a year. Andy is still a little leary about the costs and while it is expensive, I don't care anymore and am willing and ready to find a way to do it. Deidra has begun asking about her baby brother and sister more and more lately, especially since we've moved. While I was looking into CCAI the other day, I found out that they're having an adoption seminar in our city in July. Andy told me to go ahead and book it. It's on July 15. So, I guess this gets us one step closer to the whole process. In the meantime, it gives Andy time to find a job anyway as I know that's first and foremost. Anyway, start looking for more updates on our adoption(s) over on hoffmanfamilyjourney.blogspot.com

I know that you know our family needs and wants, Abba, and I put this all into your hands.

Memorial Day

Hi Abba. It's Memorial Day today. You've got my beautiful mother and grandmother up there with you. Give them a hug from me and tell them stories about us and little Deidra. I think about what they are doing up there. They must be having one amazing time up there. Let them know that we love them and think about them often.

Work Stuff

Hi Abba. Things are going a little better at work now. Thank you so much for looking out for me. A couple of the head cashiers want me to head cashier there too and have even entrusted me with their keys a couple of times. That tells me that I must be doing something right now. So, I just gotta run a few things by the HR manager and we'll see if I can be a back-up for right now. Please bring me a few more friends there so I don't feel so lonely. I hate feeling like the outsider and that I don't have anyone to talk to. But, work has been going better so that is good.

Job Stuff and a New Friend

Hi Abba. Mom called me this morning to let me know that she lifted me up in prayer this morning at work in their prayer meeting with all the work stuff I've been dealing with. Mom felt bad that I wasn't receiving the southern hospitality that she thought I would at work. She didn't want to mention who I was having the issues with, but I guess some of the guys she worked with knew right away who she was talking about. I asked her who they said it was and they were right on. I guess a lot of people have quit at that store because of her. Mom told me to hang in there and she had the feeling that I was being tested. I told her that not all the people are like that and maybe I'm just too sensitive and am overreacting. I don't have to deal with this lady all the time either, so I just have to keep telling myself to hang in there.

Anyway, fast forward to this afternoon. Andy's working on a website to introduce various projects that he's done graphic wise to potential employers. Deidra was getting antsy and so was I, so I took her up to Braum's to get some ice cream. I told her to go find us a seat and then I hear someone say "Jessica." At first, I didn't want to turn around because I figured nobody really knew me and then I did turn. There sitting at one of the tables, was Tabby (short for Tabitha). She works at HD too and has only been there for a little over 3 months. We talked a little bit on Tuesday night and I really like her. We talked for awhile today about the people that we work with and some of her vents and I feel like I've really found a friend and don't feel so lonely now. She even gave Deidra a Strawberry smoothie. She wants us to get together with her and her 3 little girls sometime. I just feel better about the whole situation and I want to thank you for Tabby and I hope and pray that our friendship grows stronger.

Ebay and Jobs

Well, I'm selling two big auctions on ebay that end today. If anyone wants to check out my auctions, you can find them here http://members.ebay.com/aboutme/andesbear/ . I have a huge lot of 69 scrapbook punches (Ebay Item 8286643285) up that I'm hoping to get at least $100 for and I'm selling my Medical Transcription Course and Reference Book Set (Ebay Item 7033477662) and I'm hoping to get at least $200 for those. I'd love to make the $350 that we need to pay off one of our bills this month just on these two auctions. I just want to say thank you too for the store auction sales that we've had coming in. With Andy not working yet, these will help to pay some of the utility bills and such. :-)

Speaking of Andy not working yet, please help him to find a job soon. He went and applied at the Wal-Mart here to find something 3rd shift so he can still have the daytime to go for interviews and continue the job hunt. I keep telling him to hang in there...he's getting interviews and call backs...so something is bound to happen soon and the response he's had here is so much better already than what he was finding in Michigan. One of the places that he interviewed at called the other day and told him that they had chosen another person for the job, and I think that set him into this funk that he's been in. I told him that he's got to remain positive about things and just hang in there. Sometimes it can be a full-time job in itself to find a job and he's just going to have to hang in there and the right one will come along for him. Help him to remain positive and to hang in there and please him to find the right job that he will be happy in and that will be good for the family too soon.

Better Day at Work

Thank you, Abba, for looking after me. Yesterday, I had a much better day at work. Didn't get into trouble for anything. Hopefully, I can keep that up. I didn't get out on time though, but one battle at a time I guess. I'm just happy that I didn't get scolded for doing anything wrong. Thanks for looking out for me and please help things to continue to go better at work. Please bring me some friends at work as well. Thanks!

Babies on the Brain

Hi Abba. I know that your timing is perfect. Lately, I don't know where to turn with my feelings. Last year, my two closest friends were both pregnant at the same time and I felt like I couldn't talk to them about my feelings without it hurting them at the same time. So, I put some distance there to protect myself. I so desperately want to have another baby...I'm tired of hearing people say that they understand how I feel. All that does is hurt more. I know that I'm terribly jealous and I'm trying so hard not to be. Then, we announced our plans to start the adoption process and our familes seemed to be so against the idea that we decided to stop the process and go back to infertility treatments. Now, we've had friends that I've watched bring their little ones home through the adoption process and I've been so happy for them, but yet at the same time it hurts a little too. We're still waiting....I want to bring home our little ones too.

Andy and I sat and talked about the path that we wanted to take now that we were in our own place and starting a new chapter in our lives. We're unsure of whether to start up infertility treatments again or whether to start up the adoption process. Please guide us to what we should do. Either process could take awhile. I know I need to be patient in waiting for our baby(ies), but I have wanted this for the last 5 1/2 years and we are both just getting impatient. Help us to know what to do and what path to take.

I know that we have the next little while to figure out what we're going to do as we still need to wait for Andy to find a job and for his benefits to kick in to find out if infertility treatments are definitely going to be covered or not. That will really be a determining factor too. Guide us, Abba, and please allow us to have our own little one within the next year or two. Deidra really wants to be a big sister too and I think she'd be a great one.

Jobs and More Jobs....

Hi Abba, I don't mind the work that I do at Home Depot and I don't really mind my new store, other than the fact that I seem to have issues with one of the bookkeeping ladies. They do things a lot different than my other store and it seems like I'm always being scolded by her. I got a till audit for not having my till counted down the way that they liked and it was my first time sending a till back in their store and my front-end supervisor was the one who showed me how to do it. How is that my fault? Then, the next time I had to count down, I had another head cashier show me how and the next morning, I was in trouble again for my till not being counted and sent back the right way. When I left last night, I got in trouble for not sending a markdown slip back. We didn't have to do them at my old store unless the markdown was more than a certain amount and I guess I just assumed that the policy was the same all over. WRONG! Now, I know better and will do what they want and I know that part of this is just a learning curve, but I'm still upset and it seems like they could explain things a little bit more friendlier other than hey, you just got written up and I need you to sign this. I'm so frustrated. Some of the girls there are so catty too and yet some of them have been so warm and welcoming. I don't talk a whole lot as I don't know these people and have been so missing my other store and the people there. Help me to learn how to get along with some of these people and to have better experiences at work, Abba.

Please help Andy find work soon too, Abba. He's discouraged that he's not working again yet. I keep telling him that he's had an interview and another opportunity to go in and fill out an application. I know that something is bound to happen soon. He's been sending in more resumes as well. Please help him find work soon so that he's able to feel better about things. He desperately wants to be the one supporting his family.

I know that You will take care of us. :-)

Been Ornary the past week....

Hi Abba. I've been ornary the last week. This is the first cycle that I haven't been on the clomid in the past 7 months and I had a normal 28 day cycle and then AF came the night before Mother's Day. I bled for about 4 days and then I thought I was done. I'm bleeding again today. Mom and I had a bit of a disagreement at Jimmie's birthday party last night and I was on the verge of tears for awhile. Andy made a comment to me a couple of days ago and was only joking and I wound up on the verge of tears. I hate being the new girl at work and I've been emotional about that. Now, that I'm bleeding again, I'm worrying about if it's going to be alright or if I'm going to start bleeding really heavily again and I'm getting all worked up about that.

Andy's been getting discouraged that he's not back to work yet and I told him to quit worrying and that everything will be fine. He's getting call backs and he's going in for interviews....something is bound to happen soon. We have enough money that we'll be fine for another month or so with rent and bills and I'm working too.

Help him to get a job soon and help this bleeding go away or stay on the light side. I don't know how I'll get through work if I start really bleeding heavily like I've done before. I know my hormones must be all over the place too hence the way that I've been so emotional at times. I need to find that progesterone cream too and start using that to get the bleeding to stop. I know You'll take care of us, Abba. I just needed a place to come to voice my concerns and I know You always have a listening ear.

Andy's got an interview tomorrow...

Hi Abba. Andy got an email from someone earlier today asking for his salary requirements. He told them and a little while later they called to set an interview up with him for tomorrow. Please, be with him on this interview tomorrow and please help him to get this job. We know your timing is perfect and that you know our wants and needs. We put this into your Hands, Abba.

The new store...

Well, my first day at my new store was yesterday. I honestly don't know what to make of the whole thing. I don't get the impression that everyone is friends like it was at my old store. They're a lot more strict than my old store too. Some stuff is different too down here and I felt dumb asking for help. I hate being "the new girl" and I've already had my hours cut. My 2nd day was supposed to be tomorrow from 10-4. The supervisor called and asked me if I would work from 10-8 and I said I didn't know right off hand if I could do that or not. I didn't know if Andy had any interviews pending around my current schedule and if he did I didn't want to leave us without a babysitter. She called me back two seconds later and said that she had to cut hours and she was giving me the day off. I took that as I was being punished for not wanting the extra hours and taking them right off the bat. Then, nobody knew if I was supposed to be full-time or part-time and the scheduler was wanting to know. We had already been over this before I started there a couple of times. Communication is not very effective there, I guess. I guess I'm not really impressed with the place. I'll give it a little more time and see how it goes, but if I don't start liking it there soon, I am thinking about finding something else. Andy keeps telling me that once he finds work, hopefully I can just quit and stay home again. I'm hoping and praying that is what can happen. Deidra started crying when she found out that I had to go back to work as well and I'd really like to make up my income with ebay. I think that would be doable if we just devoted a little more time to it. Help me figure out what to do, Abba, and please bring Andy a good job soon too.

Thank you for a nice Mother's Day...

Thanks for a great Mother's Day, Abba. It was an answered prayer that I didn't have to work that day. Deidra stayed with Grandma the night before and Grandma brought her to mass the next morning. It was nice to all be at church together that morning and service was beautiful. We went out for breakfast at Whataburger afterwards and then came back to our house for coffee and to change into our outfits for Scarborough faire. Mom and Margaret (a friend of mom's) dress up as nuns, Deidra was a fairy...Lady Diamond is what Grandma calls her...., Andy and Jimmie were pirates, and I was a maiden. It was a lot of fun. The only bad thing about the day was that AF chose that day to arrive and I was feeling pretty miserable. We had a fun day and Deidra traded off between us and Grandma to go do different things with. I got a little grumpy towards the end of the day, but the day was still a good one. My favorite thing to watch was the bagpipe band "Scottish Mayhem." We saw their act a couple of times. Thank you for a great Mother's Day, Abba, and Happy Mother's Day to you, Mother Mary.

Abba, please bless my mother and my grandmother too and I'd like to wish them a Happy Mother's Day as well. I can't wait to see you both in Heaven! I love you both!

Thank You for Blessing Our Marriage

Hi Abba. Andy had commented to me the other day that he felt like we were newlyweds again. It sort of has felt that way...we're doing all the things that newlyweds do. ;-) We had fun unwrapping our dishes together and finding homes for them...we're in the bedroom together more....Mom has been taking Deidra every now and again and it's been nice to enjoy the time alone together without interruptions. Granted, I love my daughter dearly and I wouldn't trade her for anything, but I also know that we've been in much need of some couple time. It's something that we've never gotten much of at all. If we got out alone once a year since she was born that was a good thing. I joked with Andy that if I knew before that all it was going to take to get his drive to come back, was to move out of his father's house...we would have had to find a way to do that before a long time ago. I used to spend past times wondering what was wrong with me that he didn't seem to look at me that way very much. Now, I see that there was never a problem with me, it was just the circumstances of being at his father's house and all that made it weird for him. I just want to say thank you for revealing this all to us and for blessing our marriage. This time together has been wonderful and we're very happy so far in this new chapter of our lives. Help us always to hold on to this feeling.

Jobs for Andy

Hi Abba. I'm going to take this as a very promising sign that he'll be working again soon. I ask for your help and guidance on finding Andy a great job that will provide for all of us. I'd really like to be able to stay at home again with Deidra and maybe do ebay part-time/full-time. He's anxious to find a job as well, so please help to find a great one soon.

Andy spent the past couple of days revamping his resume and he finally started applying for some jobs yesterday. He applied to 10 of them and someone invited him to go and fill out an application there and meet with them. Things just sound so much more promising down here. He had applied to so many jobs in MI and never heard a thing. He's going to get in touch with the couple of people (from the last 10 jobs that he had applied to before we seriously had to get to packing to move down) that wanted interviews with him too to see if it's too late to get those set up now that he's down here. So, I don't think it will be long before he'll start working again. It's been nice to have this time together though...we were unpacking all of our kitchen stuff and he said "I feel like we're newlyweds again." It brought a smile to my face...it kinda does feel like we're newlyweds again on so many levels...but it's been great and we're very happy together.

Crime Too Close to Home....

Abba, I have to wonder at times like these what the world is coming to. I've known people who have been in jail for drunk driving, drugs, or some things like that, but over the past couple of months bad crimes are hitting too close to home.

It all started a couple of months ago, when my Dad called me to tell me that my cousin was arrested for the murder of his wife. He's currently locked up in Georgia. There's a lot of unknowns there and I honestly don't know what to make of the situation as he's done a very awful thing. He married this girl and she had a little boy. One day he was watching the little boy and he apparently wasn't used to being disciplined. He spanked the little boy and the wife in turn called the police on my cousin and he was put in jail for 10 years. In jail, he wound up getting AIDS. He later got out and went back home to his wife and her son. She belitted him and used to lock him in the house and stuff. He wound up killing her, although he said that when she got home from work the day of the killing, that she had stabbed him in the shoulder, he blacked out and when he came too he was sitting on top of her chest with his hands strangling her neck. When he realized what he was doing, he tried to shake her back to consciousness, but it was too late...she was already dead. He fled the scene and had a braul with some officers the next day that were trying to arrest him. He wound up getting blood all over them and told them "now they could all die." I haven't seen my cousin since I was about 9 years old. He looks just like Alan Jackson and he was always nice, cute, and funny. I just can't believe that he did this. It's something that haunted me in my dreams and my thoughts for quite a long time. I still think about it and wonder how someone in my family could do something so horrible like that.

Then, at the end of March, my cousin, Dale stopped sleeping. He hadn't slept in something like 10 days and he was at the point of having hallucinations. My Aunt wanted to get him some help and the ER told her that they refer mental health patients to the mental institution down the street to get all the testing that they needed and whatnot. My aunt was going to take him down there the next morning. Later that night, he wigged out saying that there was hazy stuff coming out of the walls and vents. My aunt called the police wondering what to do and they came down to talk to him. They took his pulse and checked his arms for needle marks and found out that he checked out ok. They talked with him and went along with my aunt at getting him checked out the next morning. Well, the next morning came and my aunt was getting impatient for their ride to show up. She picked up the phone and thought she was dialing the number for the mental place and she said with everything on her mind she must have dialed 911. Dale thought he was smelling fleshy smells and started wigging out again. 2 cops showed up at the front door shortly after. My aunt called Dale down to talk with them and the one told him that she wanted to check his pulse...he offered her his hand. While she still had a hold of the one arm, she grabbed his other arm kind of forcefully...he didn't know what she was wanting to do and he pulled his other arm back in. The next thing my aunt said happened, was they threw him down on the ground trying to cuff him and were using the tazer gun on him. Another officer tried to pry his mouth open and claimed that Dale bit him (they were still using the tazer gun on him). This whole big braul happened and they took Dale to the hospital to have his tazer wounds treated. He's got over 11 tazer marks on his back alone. They arrested him on counts of assaulting police officers and resisting arrest. The kid has never been in trouble with the police before or anything. They want him to do 6 months in jail and get 2 felony charges on his record. They are also treating him as a schizophrenic, which he has never had any of these problems until he stopped sleeping. We're concerned though that the medicine they have him on says that you're not supposed to give it to anyone with a family history of diabetes as it can cause diabetes and even lead to death in someone like that. He's being treated for diabetes now. I just don't understand why all this had to happen and my Aunt said his lawyer isn't doing a darn thing for him. He's in a cell with a convicted murderer and he's been assaulted and kicked in the head twice in jail. He's hearing impaired and is deaf in one ear. I just pray for protection for him and that he can get out of this horrible situation very soon.

Then, the week of Easter, my Mom called me and she sounded upset. Her good friend, Kristy's adopted sister had been shot and killed by her husband and then the husband turned the gun on himself. They had a daughter who was in the house when it happened. I feel so awful for this family.

Then, once we got connected back to the internet, I heard news of an online friend....my heart is breaking for their family. Her sister was murdered just a couple of weeks ago. I can't even imagine all the pain they must be feeling. Life seems so unfair sometimes and it's impossible to understand why certain things happen.

I pray for all these families involved that I wrote about here, Abba. Please give them a sense of peace and help them to heal. There's too much crime out there, Abba...keep us all protected and safe. I pray for my family and for my friends for a hedge of protection to be kept around all of us. Give us all comfort during these difficult times.

That "In Love" Feeling....

This blog entry is not meant to be judgmental of anyone...I just want to say that for the record. It's just my own personal feelings on the subject and I wish everyone the best. I understand that everyone has to do what is best for them.

Why oh why does this keep coming to my head over the past couple of weeks. I've had multiple conversations about this. Abba, I came to learn during my own rough time in marriage that the "in love" feeling is really a myth. To me, love isn't a feeling but more of an action word and when I was really trying to figure that out to see if that was true I reread the passage that we had read at our wedding from 1 Corinthians. I'll post it at the bottom of this post as a reminder to myself as it's a verse I've really tried to stay on path with. I see so many people over the past few years walk away from their marriages, including my father, because they claimed that they lost the "in love" feeling with their spouse and they were in love with someone else. I felt that way 2 years ago and it was a very rough spot, but I'm so glad that I chose to stay in my marriage and not walk away. We are in a much better spot now and I'm learning that yes there are times that I'm madly in love with my husband, there are times that I feel not so in tune with him, and there are times I've been upset with him or wanted things from him that he couldn't give me at the time. That "in love" feeling comes and goes, but it's sticking around and still trying and doing things for each other that to me is really showing someone that you love them.

It breaks my heart to see people divorce...it's something that I honestly don't think is right, although I don't judge others for doing so. I never knew anyone that was divorced until I met Andy and found out that his parents were divorced. I could never understand some of the feelings that Andy had about the whole thing and thought he was wrong for feeling that way. Then shortly after we married ourselves, my father left my mother. I've seen the damage that divorce caused in our family and there's still a lot of pain with all of us almost 5 years later over it. It's something now my father said never should have happened and deep down my mother says she still loves him, but she could never trust him again to marry him again. What that told me too was that being "in love" fades sometimes but if you just stick it out it'll come back. Yes, my Dad did some horrible things to my mother before he chose to leave her and I think he was feeling like he wasn't worthy of her and he felt horrible guilt and felt he needed to leave and that he couldn't come back and that was a lot of it too. But, we all wish now that they would have worked through it so none of this would have ever happened. I wonder sometimes what our family would be like if they were still together...this hurt on all of us has been hard to work through.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this, but it kills me to see people leave their marriages because they claim that they're no longer "in love" with their husband, but they fell "in love" with someone else. The thing that I wonder is how long is that "in love" feeling going to last with someone new before you feel like something is wrong again if you don't realize that that feeling fades in and out.

It's just something that breaks my heart...I don't judge people for divorce....they have to do what they feel is right for them. It's just something that I felt that I needed to blog about and say a prayer that everyone can come to understand what love truly is. Abba, help open people's eyes to what loving someone truly is and help people stay together once they marry and take their vows before You. Help them remember why they married that person for the rest of their lives and help them keep their vows.

To me this chapter in 1 Corinthians is what love truly is...

4Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
5It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
6It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
7Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
8Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].

Prayers for my brother, Zach

Abba, please keep Zach surrounded by a hedge of protection. Keep him safe and help him to know that his family loves him and that he can open up to us.

Zach was taken to the ER last night. His friend got worried about him when she noticed all this blood down the front of him and called the cops after he had left. The cops came to Mom's door about midnight and they found out that he was cutting himself. He wouldn't talk to the cops about what was going on, so they took him into the hospital by ambulance. He made Mom leave the room, said he was 18 now, and he knew his rights and he didn't want her in there. She stood out in the hall mostly within ear shot and he eventually told the doctor that he was just upset because his friend died last weekend and they buried him on Sunday. He's been carrying around the funeral picture of him in his pocket. They said he wasn't a suicide threat and he said he didn't have any intentions of hurting himself further or anyone else. They sent him home with a bunch of numbers for counseling should he decide to go. Mom said he did this once before when my Dad left and told Mom that he wanted the divorce. I wish that kid would let someone in...he doesn't have much to do with the family at all. Just please pray that he'll open up to us and know that we love him and pray for protection for him. I've been worried about him for quite awhile now, but have no idea how to help him besides pray for him. I just wish that he would talk to us more. I know that You'll take care of him, but please show us how to help him and help us to know what he truly needs. Thank You, Abba.

We made it to Texas safe and sound...

Thank you so much dear Abba for the move going so smoothly. It seemed like everytime something came up or we started to get worried everything just fell into place and you take care of our worries by letting us know that You were there.

Deidra and I left for Texas the day after Easter. I was worried about how she was going to do in the car since it was just me and her. I needn't have worried...she was totally an absolute gem. She never fussed once about being in the car. We left at 6am and drove all the way to Bryant, Arkansas before stopping for the night. I totally could have driven the rest of the way as we only had about 6 hours to go, but I really had to go to the bathroom and Deidra wanted to swim in the pool. So, we stopped at a Holiday Inn and got us signed in for the night. Downer was that they only had an outside pool and it wasn't open yet. :-( I told her that we'd go walk over to the Cracker Barrel that was next door and we'd have a nice dinner together and enjoy the time out of the car. That was fun and I let her get a small something for being so good that day out of the gift shop. We went back to the room about 8pm and watched a little tv and then crashed for the night.

We got up that next morning and were on the road again early and were at my Mom's in Texas by about 2pm.

I sat and thought a lot while I was driving about if we were making the right decision and asked God to show me a sign if at all possible...no sooner did I turn the corner of the highway and there was a big huge cross and I laughed and told God that "boy, I couldn't have missed that one even had I wanted to." That cross will come back later in the story as it was a sign to Andy later in our drive down with the moving truck...but more about that later. Then, Mom told me about the house that had come to them. She works at a Chevy dealership as the parts manager. She was talking to the friends that she has there about how she was going around looking for houses that we had found and all and one of her regular customers told her that he had a house that we could rent if she wanted to take a look. She had no idea where it was or anything, but agreed to take a look at it after she talked to us. The house is on Bethel and is literally 3 houses back behind the church that we go to. I've always loved her church and I wanted to be more active in church again. I told Mom that God was giving more signs...not only was He born in Bethlehem, but He wanted me back in his church again too and that's why He's putting us here. We of course took the house. :-) Thanks Abba so much for finding our little house for us and for answering our prayer there.

We spent a nice couple of weeks with Mom and Zach and Jimmie and explored our new surroundings, went for walks, went to the park, and just enjoyed the down time. When it came time for me to fly back, Mom didn't want to let me go. That was hard for her, but I told her that we'd be back in just a couple of days and she said that she was going to hold Deidra ransom to make sure we came back. I had to laugh, but we both teared up when I headed off to the airport. The flight was bumpy (flying over lots of storms) and I was a little nervous, but thankfully the flight went well and I was back on the ground very soon. Thanks Abba, for getting me there safely. I found Andy and my FIL and we were on our way back to MI. We stopped for lunch at Applebee's and got home way later than what we planned. Packed up the truck some that night and then got up early Saturday morning to finish packing up so that we could take off.

We got on the road later than what I had wanted to and we hit storms in IL and it was really windy and majorly slowed us down. We had given the cats sedatives as well and that was making them feisty with each other. We'd hit a bump in the road and it would cause a cat fight. It was a little annoying at times and a little comical at others. We wound up stopping in MO for the night and I was majorly disappointed that we didn't get farther in our trip. The power kept going out in the hotel and then we thought we lost 3 of our cats....that got Andy and I fighting as I didn't want to leave any of them behind. I wound up calling my Mom and she said some prayers with me and got me calmed back down and we called on St. Frances and St. Anthony to help us find them and she told me all would be ok. Less than a half an hour later, one of the lost cats came out from her hiding spot which gave us an idea that the other 2 had to be down there too. They had managed to find a hollow area behind the back of the dresser that wasn't visible from the front of the dresser. I had pulled all those drawers out and everything too and we tore the matress off the bed multiple times as well. And we had walked up and down the halls with flashlights and everything trying to find them. Thankfully, all were found. Thanks Abba, for helping us find them and thanks St. Frances and St. Anthony too for your help. We've called on you a lot, St. Anthony, to help us find things over the past few weeks...I'm going to try and call on you more than just to ask for your help in the future.

Anyway, we got back on the road on Sunday and we were driving down the road and again I started to pray to myself about a job for Andy and that we were making the right decision and that everything was going to work out and I wasn't really paying attention to where we were driving or anything and Andy said "wow, that is certainly a sign if I've ever seen one...is that the cross that you were talking about?" I look up and yup, that was my cross, but I had totally forgotten what highway it was on or even in what state and I really couldn't even tell you now, but it definitely spoke to the both of us. It's nice to be reminded that your here for us and that you listen and that you know what we need at any given moment. It gave us a lot of peace.

We made it down to Texas around 5pm and my brothers came over to help us unload the truck. The move was long, but all came together so nicely. After all our concerns too from people telling us their catastophes with making long moves with U-Haul we were apprehensive about it shortly before the move and had prayed about it. A few days before we were supposed to move, they called Andy and asked him if he wanted to move from a 24' truck to the 26' truck as they had a brand new truck with only 500+ miles on it that we could use for the same cost as what we booked our reservation with. We took it and never had one problem. Thank you so much for looking out for us. Everything with this move came together so nicely. The cats did wonderful in the car and never even had one accident. Deidra never fussed at all. We never broke down. We never had any accidents or problems...everything went so smoothly and I know that You are looking down at us. Thank you so much, dear Abba.