Grateful

Thanks Abba, for helping us pay some of our debts off. We got our tax money and we were able to get our emergency fund together, put trip money for our vacation to Phoenix aside, as well as pay off my medical bills that we accumulated from when they thought I had that stroke. So, that's a big relief to have those out of the way. We just have a little bit left on one of them to pay off and we should be able to do that within the next couple of months. I'm extremely grateful to have those doctor and medical bills out of the way though...

Work stresses and vacation requests...

Hi Abba. Work is really stressing me out lately. Cashiers are dropping like flies lately... We're down to 10 cashiers. They have hired more, but it's going to be a couple of weeks yet before we see them. We did have one start on the floor today though. Anyway, I have been holding out for my last week of vacation for Deidra's spring break and we are planning on going to Phoenix to see Andy's mom and Hal. We've been together for almost 11 years and we've never made a trip out there, so it's something that I was getting pretty excited about. We told Andy's mom a few days ago and she's pretty excited too. Anyway, I talked to my supervisor today to see if I was still going to be able to take my vacation then and she said no. Our operations manager said no. I told her that if I don't take it then I lose it, as my hire date is not long after I would be coming back. She was going to talk to the operations manager at the staff meeting today...I'm stressing big time. If I can't take vacation that means I have to find a babysitter and with the work stresses going on too...I really need to get out of there for a few days. Please let this work out so that I'm able to take my vacation when Deidra is on spring break so we can get away as a family together.

Good talk with Mom...

Andy volunteered us to take Mom and Margaret to the cathedral in Dallas to watch their cathechism class receive the rite of election. The cathedral was beautiful and we got to sit right next to the altar. You could feel the Holy Spirit in the room and I was moved to tears a few times. Afterwards, we took Margaret home and we went back to Mom's for a bit and for some reason we got to talking about brokenness. She was saying how God can't use us until we're broken first because God too became broken for our sins and to become broken makes us more aware of our blessings and makes us that more compassionate to others and their situations. If there weren't moments of brokenness we would be filled with pride and thinking that we were better than others. Anyway, she talked about how she really didn't come to know Jesus until God broke her during her divorce and how she wouldn't be a member of the church had it not been for my wanting to go so badly when I was younger. I've always loved to go to church even as a little girl. But, I think my real walk with faith began back when I found out that we had infertility problems and it came back again when Andy lost his job when Deidra was born. Man, those were some very hard and emotional times and it's something that I don't think people can really understand unless they go through it themselves. I really feel for those who deal with both of those issues. But, I told Mom that I really do see children for the blessings that they really are...they truly are a gift from above...I just wish some people didn't take their ability to have them for granted. And as for Andy's job loss...it taught us to live below our means and to appreciate what we did have. But, as Andy pointed out over Valentine's day...if that never would have happened we wouldn't be here today. So, everything does happen for a reason. We are very blessed and although nobody likes going through the hard times and it really is hard to go through those moments...we do learn from them and sometimes God does have to break us to get us to open our eyes about the things we take for granted. Mom said that she learned at a retreat that she went to that while we all have guardian angels that battle for us everyday, the devil appoints at least 2 of his angels to wreak havoc on us. Our guardian angels must really have to battle hard for us every moment of every single day and we're not even aware. Anyway, it made me realize that things could definitely be a lot worse if we didn't have our guardian angel there to watch over us. The bad things definitely come from the devil, but God allows them to happen. I guess it's no different than the choices we make in life...we make good decisions and bad decisions and when we make the bad decisions we learn from our mistakes. So, when the bad things happen to us in life we learn from those incidents too. Anyway, we had a good talk and I just wanted to jot some things down here about it.

House stuff...

Took Mom to see the houses with us this weekend. She thought they were really nice. We sat down and figured out some numbers with the builder for the additional bedroom and wall that we want put up and now we just need to figure out the numbers that we got from the mortgage people and see who we want to work with. We also need to find out from the landlord if they will let us stay here until the house is built month to month or if we could do a 6-month lease. This is all so exciting...although we're being very cautious. We want to make sure that the house is going to be a definite blessing and not a burden in any way. We did pick out a different floor plan (we found the exact same one as the house that we were going to buy) and I'll have to share that one later.

The 2nd floor of the floorplan...

We're going to divide the super loft into a 2nd living area and make a 4th bedroom up there. We'll also make part of the master suite into an area for all of our ebay stuff and our computers...so the office will pretty much be in our area as well.

The floorplan for the first floor...

The house is 3300 sf and is a 4 bedroom and 2 bath. We also have the option to make it into a 7 bedroom if we wanted to. Our plan is to add a half wall between the living room and the dining room and making that living room into the play room. On the other side of the wall, we're going to make that nothing but book shelves. We'll also add the fireplace in the corner of the family room like it's shown in the illustration above.

The House that we want to build...

will look similar to this one on the outside. (This is the house we wanted to buy, but is no longer available as the family is now staying.) However, the builder that built that house is also building in another neighborhood nearby and this is our current floorplan that we want to go with. The house will look very similar on the outside.

I am a Christian by Maya Angelou

I am a Christian... by Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin.
"I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

Starting Lent...

Well, Lent started yesterday. It's going to be a hard 40 days, but I think it's something I needed to do for myself. My blood sugars have been too high again lately and my cholesterol is high too. It's time to start taking care of myself again. I chose to give up sweets and junk food. It's back to eating healthy again and I'm getting back on my Medifast again to lose weight. I lost 25 lbs in 2 months when I did it before last fall...I need to do it again and keep going with it. I'm also giving up my secular music like I did for the last 2-3 years during Lent (actually I think this is the 3rd year) and only listening to Christian music. This one I think I'll probably do every year from now on. When I first made the decision to do it, I didn't think I could listen to "church" music all the time in the car...I was suprised to find out that there's all sorts and kinds of Christian music and some of it I really like. This is a time that God has really been working in my life and I really found it to destress me and soothe me when I did it again last year.

Abba, please guide me and help me through this Lenten period. Help me to stay strong on my goals and keep going with them even after Easter.

I love it when God speaks to you...

I had a pretty bad day at work today (they made me majorly late getting Deidra) and I'm just sick of the attitudes there. We're majorly short-handed though so I try to understand the situation and not cop an attitude back. But, I was just really upset that they know why I have to leave at the time of day that I do and yet today she told me there was nothing they could do, that I was just going to have to wait. So, I left 40 minutes late and just managed to be able to pick up D before they started loading the pre-k students. I apologized up the waa zoo to her teacher. Then, I came home to go to the bathroom and get something to eat before I took Deidra to the park. We had to stop by my Mom's work and give her some cards that came here at our house for my brothers. My Mom was in a bad mood and I was excitedly telling her about the houses we saw last night and she just seemed like she was in a bad mood. I wanted her to go with us on Saturday when we went back...she can't tell me for sure what she's doing and she's taking Margaret to orientation for Scarborough Faire and she wasn't sure if she was going to stay or not. She just made me feel like what we wanted wasn't important and then I got the "why can't you guys just buy something that's already built." She's been the one for the last couple of months telling us that we needed to get out there looking and find something that we truly wanted to buy and now it's like she's in a different mindset or something. We left and all I wanted to do was cry. We went to the park for an hour and a half and she didn't want to come home. I had some stuff to do and we needed to get her fed before gym tonight anyway. She wanted me to go get her some pop and I told her we had drinks and stuff at home. She was way overtired and threw a fit for a half an hour. I finally got her calmed down after some time out in her room and she asked to watch tv. She had been watching cartoons this morning and when I flipped the tv on, it was on the Christian music channel and the song "Beautiful One" was playing by Jeremy Kamp. Tears immediately sprang in my eyes...I have no idea on how that channel was on tv, but it was strange with today being the first day of lent and that happening too. For the past 3 years, one of my things I do during lent is giving up the secular music that I listen to and I just listen to Christian music. So, after the day that I had, it was neat to see that happen as it was totally unexpected.

Thank you Abba for surprising me with that. It was truly unexpected and I have no idea of how that channel was turned on the tv since Deidra had been watching cartoons this morning. You truly do work in mysterious ways. :-) Thank you for being with me.

Now, we're talking about building...

We went out with the realtor last night and she said that she was going to take us over to the newer construction site as the house on Gayleh was no longer available. That was a foster family and he was going to be taking a new job somewhere else. Well, they have a chance to adopt 3 of the kids they have so they decided to stay and they need the house so they took it off the market. The same builder of that house is building not far from here, so we drove over there and looked at the house models. They have a 33oo sf house for the same price we bought our house in Hanover Park for and it's absolutely beautiful. They also have a 2900 sf house that looks very similar to that one for slightly less. We also looked at the next smaller house at 2400 sf house and that one was a lot lower and they already have a model of this one available for purchase. These were all 2 story homes like we wanted. I have 2 lenders working on quotes for us and we're going to go back out on Saturday and look at what we would want as far as upgrades go and see where we're at with the price we have in mind and see which house is doable. I'm wanting the first house and Andy is wanting the 2nd, but I told Andy that with the small difference in price, I'd rather pay the little more for the added room. But, honestly either of them would be fine. We also looked in a different subdivision at a one story 4 bedroom that was 2200 sf and that was really nice too and that was also new construction. We can't say we don't have options down here. That one also had 2 different living areas like the 2 stories that we saw...so one of them would be the play room for the kids. But, I need to talk to our landlords and see if they would let us take a 6-month lease or a month-by-month lease as if we do build a house they said it could be up to 6 months as they'll only build so many at a time because they don't want to rush the quality of the homes.

One thing our landlord told us too was to think about how long we wanted to stay in the house as you practically have to give the house away if they're still doing home construction in the area when you want to sell as people would rather buy a new home for the price than buy one that has already been lived in. I laughed because she showed us a house in one area that they were still building in and that was what was in the back of my head "well, the price is good but for what they want, we could just build ourselves a brand new home." But, honestly this is why we're being so picky about what we want as we don't plan on moving again. We just want to get settled and stay put. This is all a little exciting though and we plan on going out again on Saturday morning to see what the upgrades look like and what we would want to get an idea of pricing. I'm going to call the landlords tomorrow as well and talk to them about the lease and then we'll know more about where we stand too. I'm hoping though that since he's also a builder that he'd be understanding.

Lord, please guide us in making this decision. We definitely want space for the kids to meet our house requirements for foster care and we want a house that we can grow into and be happy to stay in.

Grr

Why is it that when you want hair to look good, it never does what you want it to? And when you could care less, it looks good? Deidra's spring portrait and class picture day is today. She's wearing her dress that she wore to the Daddy/Daughter dance on Friday and she looks so pretty. I washed her hair this morning and went to do her hair although she just wanted it left down. I just pulled the sides up, but I couldn't get it to part right or anything. She wound up with a bump in her hair and then I had to do it over. I think she looks fine, I just wish her hair would have cooperated a little bit better. Now, if she'll just not play so hard where she messes it all up before pictures. Andy says I stress too much on picture days, but it's hard to get her ready and then send her to school when I don't know how long she'll stay nice before pictures whereas before we'd get her ready and then just go to her picture appt and I always could fix whatever if I needed to. Grr!

Abba, please let her stay looking nice for pictures. :-)

Great and busy weekend...

Thank you Abba for a great weekend and for the time we got to spend together with family.

Friday, Andy took the day off of work and we ran around and got our physicals done, did our drug testing, got our TB test, and went downtown to be fingerprinted. Then, I had to find Deidra a dress to wear to the Daddy/Daughter dance going on at church that night. Ran and got her a corsage to wear after I picked her up from school. Then, we came home and curled her hair all up and got her in her pretty dress and Andy put her corsage on. I took pics before dropping them off at the church and then I went to my Mom's house. She took my brother and I out for dinner at Red Robin's as her Valentine's Day gift to us. She also treated Andy and D to the dance. Dinner was awesome and then we went to Half Priced Books and then we went home.

Saturday, we were supposed to have Water Safety as a foster/adopt class but even though we all showed up, the instructor was sick. We came home and worked on some homework that we had to do for the class before I had to go to work for the rest of the day.

Sunday, I had to be back to work first thing in the morning. My Mom needed help figuring out how to get to the cathedral downtown, so as soon as I got out of work we went to pick her up and drove into Dallas. Andy showed her exactly how to get there and then he took us to his new building to show us. It was very nice. My Mom seemed quite impressed as well with the location of the building (he's in the West End), the view, and how nice the building was. She said "Andy is very blessed" and we agree. He couldn't have asked for a better company to work for and he's very well taken care of there. Great people to work for and with, great pay, great perks, and a wonderful atmosphere and they are very good at understanding family stuff that comes up. He's also got his work laptop that they gave him as well, so he does have the ability to work from home too if needed. Anyway, the building was very very nice. Deidra was all about the free popcorn and free pop that they have at all times. We drove home and dropped her and my brother off and then we drove home so I could go back to work for a work meeting.

Andy's Interesting Observation

We went out to dinner last night and we got to talking about things. He made the comment that it had been 6 years to the date of him being let go from Siren. We remembered all the emotions and hard times that that brought and Andy said "well, it happened for a reason...it was the catalyst that brought us here and we wouldn't be down here it it wasn't for that happening." I remembered that he had told me that he'd never leave Chicago back then. Heck, Siren was the reason that I up and moved from MI as Andy said he didn't think he'd ever leave Chicago because of his job. Anyway, we talked about how if that never would have happened, we wouldn't be here today. We both feel that things are falling into place for us down here and we think that the job he has now is absolutely fantastic and has been the best job that he's ever had. He feels like I do that the things that we've prayed long and hard for are happening for us down here. God picked us up and moved us to exactly where He wanted us to be and we can see Him at work in our lives. He definitely brought things full circle and it was kind of neat to see that when Andy made his observation last night. We couldn't understand why we had to endure all that then, but it definitely makes sense now. Just goes to show you that everything does happen for a reason and that God does know what He's doing, even when we don't. We're very grateful for Andy's job that he has now and all the blessings that God has showered us with. The only thing that I do wish was that we could have all those who mean something to us close to us, but I know there's other ways to keep in touch too and I know that we'll make new friends down here the longer we're down here.

Abba, thanks for taking care of us even when we don't understand things and why they are happening to us. We are so thankful for the blessings that you have given us. Help us to always put our trust in You.

Valentine's Day Questions

How many boyfriends have you had before meeting Mr. Right? one

How did you fall in love with your DH? it all started with becoming friends in high school...we both had a vision of being married to one another...but we didn't share that with each other until way later.

How did he propose? on the 4th of July walking home from the fire works along the lake in the rain.

How long have you been married? almost 8 1/2 years

Where did you go for your honeymoon? we went on our honeymoon a year after the wedding since we paid for our own wedding...but we went to Disney World.

Have you ever had a crush on someone besides your husband during your marriage? yup

Does hubby know? What about your crush? yes, hubby knew, but he also knew that I respected our marriage so he just thought it was funny. No, my crush didn't know.

What's the sweetest thing that hubby has ever done for you? he's always doing sweet things for me...but I think one of the sweetest things that he's done is when we were dating I had come to visit him from MI (he was living in Chicago at the time) and when it was time for me to leave, I took the train back home. He had walked me to the train station and waited with me for the train to board. When they called to board my train, he left to go home. Well, that's where I thought he was going anyway. When I got back home, I called him to let him know that I got home safely and he told me that when my train boarded he quickly ran up the street to the Sears Tower and paid to go up to the tower to watch my train and wave good-bye to me. I just thought that was so sweet.

One year, he sent me a dozen red roses for my birthday, a dozen red roses for our anniversary, and dozen red roses to grow on. I was living with a friend of mine at the time and her mom was just blown away when the 3 dozen roses came...they were beautiful.

What did you do to celebrate Valentine's Day this year? Deidra had her Valentine's day pageant at school the day before and then we gave her her gifts afterwards...a dog that says "Kiss" and a really soft pink gorilla that says "Love You" and a box of Mrs. Fields chocolates. Then, on Valentine's day my Mom took Deidra after work so we could go out to dinner. Andy told me he had gotten caught in traffic, so I was just waiting for him to get home after they left. He came home with a dozen white roses for me and they were so beautiful. He said he picked white because they stand for purity and our love for one another was pure. I thought that was sweet. We went to dinner at Fire Mountain. Had a great dinner, great conversation with one another (Andy made a quite interesting observation but that's something for another day), and then we went to go get Deidra. Mom's gift to Andy and Deidra is to send them to the Daddy/Daughter dance at church on Friday night and while they're there she's taking Jimmie and I out to dinner at either Outback or Red Robin...we haven't decided yet.

Valentine's Day

Does anyone have anything special planned for Valentine's Day? I just went and got Deidra a pink stuffed gorilla that says "Love You" on the heart hanging from his hand, a tiny valentine's dog that says "kiss" and a box of Mrs. Field's chocolates for her present. She's been asking for a valentine stuffed animal ever since the stores got them out. These two that I got her are so soft that she'll love to cuddle with them.

As far as anything Andy has planned, I have no idea. I didn't want to know, I just wanted him to surprise me. I'd be happy with dinner out somewhere. I don't really care one way or the other. I just want to be able to spend some time with him after the last week that we've had with his company move and seeing each other for 10 minutes a day.

I'm more in love with him now than I ever have been. Our marriage is going very well and the things that we have wanted for our family for so long now are finally starting to fall into place. He's a wonderful husband and so loving and sweet.

My daughter, although she's been a handful this past week with Andy being gone and her schedule being thrown out of whack from the norm that she's used to, is a huge blessing and I love seeing life and love through her eyes. She's in a Valentine's pageant with her class and 3 other kindergarten classes at her school tonight. We're excited...she's been practicing for it for the last couple of weeks for it and I can't wait to see her perform. It brings back some of the memories of when I had school performances and was so excited for my family to come watch me. I'm excited for her.

I'm very blessed in life and in love.

I wish all of you the same happiness and I hope that you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day with your loved ones.

Focusing on Solutions A Positive Discipline Podcast

http://odeo.com/channel/1407/view/

Focusing on Solutions a Positive Discipline Podcast

I heard of this podcast through a friend and have been listening to them one or two at a time. I have to say they have been very helpful and the couple ideas that I have implemented so far have worked. Since we're going to be fostering soon, I figured that I needed to work through her series more to hopefully implement this with them too. But, I just thought that I'd pass this link on to my parent friends out there. :-)

Abba, please continue to help us out in the discipline department and help us to be the best parents that we can possibly be. Help us to try our best at setting a good example to follow as well.

Andy's move...

I couldn't wait for it to be over...they ran out of room on their 8 floors and so they built a new building across the street. They had deadlines to meet all week and everything had to be done by Sunday as they only closed down for the weekend. They had to be back live in time for Monday morning. It was Andy's first management position given by the company and he was nervous. He worked long hard hours...they all did. But, it was hard not seeing him much. Thursday, he called and he didn't think he was coming home, but then he called around 9 and said that he'd be home late. I waited up for him, well almost...I fell asleep for about 15 minutes before he got home. He was so incredibly sweet...he was telling me how much he appreciated all the hard work that I had been doing at home and with our foster/adoption stuff and he just hugged and kissed and cuddled me and I ate it all up. :-)

Deidra really started being a handful later in the week. I knew it was because everything was all out of whack and wasn't the norm for her. She hadn't seen Andy in about 4 days (he'd get home way after her bedtime and she was already asleep) and on Saturday I swear I spent most of the day putting her in time out for not listening and just wanting her own way and doing it anyway. She had to go to work with me on Saturday night and Sunday morning and my nerves were so frazzled during the day on Saturday. She's normally a really good kid and she was just testing me left and right that day. Temper tantrum after temper tantrum, I'd say no and she'd do it anyway. I'd put her in time out and she'd test me and test me and play game after game. She told me she had to go potty and I told her she was going to have to wait. She deliberately peed all over the floor and when I told her she was going to clean her own mess up and take care of the clothes that she peed all over she did it, but I got the whole "you're mean...I don't want to be a part of this family anymore." That broke my heart, but I also knew that she was just mad and was trying to get me to cave. We sat down after she calmed down and we had a long talk about how she couldn't act certain ways and that we both missed Daddy, but that she had to do what Mommy was asking her to do and really listen. She apologized and wrapped her arms around my neck. Then, she decided she'd be a good girl and she helped me finish cleaning up the house. She even vacuumed up the living room for me and did a great job. Then, it was time to go to work. She got mad at me because I wouldn't let her wear a skirt, but I knew she was going to get dirty. So, we finally agreed on some clothes for her to wear. We worked in lumber and she did great. When it got past her bedtime, she started acting up some and didn't want to listen. She did better after break time for awhile and then right before it was time to go home, she started acting up again. She took off running the opposite way when it was time for us to leave and embarrassed me in front of the store manager. I made her apologize to him (he thought it was funny and commented to me that she was a pretty good kid). She swore up and down to me that she wasn't tired "the least little bit." I got her in the car and home and it was 10:30 pm. We got her into her jammies and tucked into bed and we weren't even home for 10 minutes before she was asleep. Andy came home around 11:15 and after the day that I had with her, I was stressing out about how she was going to do on Sunday since we had to be back to open and she wasn't going to get much sleep.

Sunday morning came all to quickly and Andy and I sat down and talked to her about her feelings and ours and that we needed her to be a good girl for Mommy at work and Andy told her we'd take her out for ice cream after work if she did good. We had to work down at returns and Sunday went so much better. Michelle let her help at the paint desk for about an hour putting stuff back into boxes. Tiffany took her out to the garden to pet Homer (the orange and white kitty who has adopted us). Jessie let her go back to receiving to put some returns back there with her for a few minutes and Susan offered to let her sit at the service desk and color if she wanted to. Michelle offered to put Shrek in the break room for her if management ok'd it, but I didn't trust her back there by herself and I wanted to be able to see her and so I kind of vetoed that one, but I appreciated the offer. Someone even brought her a doughnut and she just ate up the extra attention. I heard a lot of people comment on how good she was and that their little ones never would have stayed in one spot like she did. She got lots of comments about how pretty her name was and how pretty she is and the guys all wanted to set up their sons and grandsons with her. I think I'll keep her away from the boys for awhile if I can help it. ;-)

What did shock me though were the number of people that thought that I was having family troubles because she was there. When they found out that I had originally asked for the weekend off and because we were short-handed they couldn't give it to me and my supervisor ok'd it with HR to have Deidra come up there, they were shocked. I said it wasn't exactly the answer that I was looking for either...but I never thought that people would really think that I left Andy or that he left me. Trust me, if my marriage had just split up, I'd be a little too upset to be at work.

Andy came home around 7 and we went to Braum's for dinner and ice cream to treat Deidra for being good. We got home home in time for her bedtime and Andy and I sat and snuggled on the couch to watch CSI. Poor guy was so exhausted he immediately fell asleep. I can't say that I blame him. He's worked long hours all week long and they've been moving heavy stuff and he's so sore. But, I'm proud of him too for all that he did this week...but I'm glad that it's now over and I hope that they don't have too many problems in the new building while they're getting used to things. Andy said it looks really nice and he can't wait to take us to see it.

But, I'm glad that I survived my week of being a single parent and I'm glad that the move is now done and that we can get back to normal.

Bonnie has been matched...

Abba, I'm pretty heartbroken right now. I did what I kept telling myself not too...I got too attached and I had my hopes up too high. However, I know that I must continue to trust in Your Plan for our lives and for Bonnie's too.

I decided to go on over to Gladney's site to let them know that we were interested in her and to see when they were going to hold the meeting to match her with her forever family. They have her as already being matched to a forever family. I'm pretty upset, but as Mom told me "Stand fast, keep praying for her, and it's not over yet." I've been telling myself not to get too attached and not to get my hopes up, but I did nonetheless. I have to trust in God's plan for her and for us. I truly want what is best for her, but she did touch our hearts and I'll always hold her in prayer and give her a special place in my heart regardless of what happens. I wish her all the best, Abba. I hope that she receives the fairy tale ending that she and her foster mother want for her. She's a very special little girl and she deserves a life of love and happiness. I just wish that we would have been given the chance to give that to her. However, I keep telling myself that You know what is best for all involved.

Watching Bonnie's video...

Seeing her on that video, is hard to put into words. I've already formed an emotional attachment to her and tears just streamed down my face when I watched her. I don't understand how people can be blessed with children and then not hold them, talk to them, cuddle them, and want the best for them. Even Deidra commented about it on the way to school this morning and how everyone should have good parents and she asked why some parents were allowed to be like that. I know no parent is perfect and we all make our mistakes, but I just don't understand how you can just leave your 3-year-old to fend for herself pretty much. God blessed you with this beautiful baby girl and she's that much of a burden that you leave her to fend for herself? I just don't understand people.

Anyway, it was nice to see her on video and I laughed and cried during it. She seems like such a sweetheart and I really hope and pray that we can adopt her. I know they're collecting home study reports for her now and we are trying to get all of our paperwork in as quickly as possible since they're expediting our home study (they're ready whenever we are) so that we do have a chance at adopting her.

I think I'm going to put in a call too to see if I can find out when they plan on selecting the candidates from the pool of home studies to find her forever family, so that I can have some peace of mind on when we definitely need to be done by. I'm trying to do all of our stuff left to do over the next 2 weeks.

Abba, I pray for your graces that we will always be the best parents that we can be. I pray that we will always keep a strong focus on our parental responsibilities and never get slack about them. I pray that we will always be a strong example to Deidra and any other children in our home and that we will always show love and respect in all that we do.

Bonnie's video

This is the little girl in person that we want to adopt. Our local news channel is doing segments on some of the children up for adoption in our area, so we got to see her in person. What a sweetheart!

http://cw33.trb.com/community/kdaf-achildtolove,0,2438715.story?coll=kdaf-home-nav&track=nav

Then go to "A Child to Love" and her name is Bonnie and you can click on her link to see the video.

We ask for continued prayers as we continue to get our paperwork done and wait for our homestudy that we'll still have a chance at adopting her.

Abba, please help her to become a part of our family and give us the chance to adopt her. I sat in tears last night watching her video. She just seems like she'd be a perfect fit here. She even resembles Deidra. I think D would make an awesome big sister to her too with the huge heart that she has.

What a beautiful day!

Thank you for this beautiful day, Abba. I was getting so tired of it being so cold. You gave us a sunshine filled day...it was in the high 60s. Definitely gave me a case of the spring fever. Got out of work, ran some errands that I needed to, ran and got Deidra from school, and we came home and took a walk. Tomorrow is supposed to be 70 and it's just been beautiful. Then, it's supposed to turn cold again. Thank you for giving us a couple beautiful weather days...even if my allergies are going bezerk on me. :-) I love seeing the sunshine though and feeling the warmth on my face.

Little Bonnie

Abba, I lift little Bonnie up to you in prayer. She's scheduled to be on CW tonight on the News at Nine to find her a forever family. I pray that we will be able to adopt her. Keep our paperwork and everything going along strongly...fast and smooth. I pray that we are the family for her and that we will bring much joy to one another.

Criminal Checks...

Hi Abba. I dropped off our forms to get our criminal checks done...I pray that they come back quickly and smoothly so that we can move on to getting our fingerprinting done. I also pray that we'll be able to find the forms we need from MI and IL without much of a hassle to say that we're in the clear in those states as well. We've already been warned that this part of it may not be easy to find what we need and to expect a hassle with getting forwarded to department to department and then to be told that we were transferred to the wrong areas. She said each state has a different process, so she can't tell us exactly who to talk to and what the process will be. So, I'm hoping and praying we won't have to jump through too many hoops.

New Gourmet Products...

Wow, I always love this time of year when the new products come out. They just announced our new products today although some of them aren't available yet. We have to wait a couple of weeks to be able to order everything. I so cannot wait to try some of these. Mmm!

Dips
Onion Garlic Dip
Add sour cream. Makes 2 (1 cup) dips.

Desserts
Sweet, Chocolaty Baklava
Oh my. This will be a favorite! Add fillo dough (found with frozen pastries), butter, and honey. Makes a 9x18 pan.

Apple Baklava
Can't beat this one! Serve warm with vanilla ice-cream. Add fillo dough (found with frozen pastries), butter, and honey. Makes a 9x18 pan.

Cheesecake
Add cream cheese, eggs, sour cream, and vanilla. Top with strawberries, canned fruit, chocolate caramel, your choice!!

Grandma's Pound Cake
One of the best pound cakes you'll ever make. Add eggs, butter, and sour cream.

Peanut Butter Fudge
Add butter and milk. Microwave for 2 minutes. You're done! YUMMY! Makes 9x9 pan.

Aunt Sherry's Pie Crust
Add butter. This is the best pie crust you'll ever taste.

Cookies and Bars
Chocolate Chip Cookies
Add shortening, eggs, and vanilla. Makes 2 dozen moist, delicious cookies.

Oatmeal Raisin Spice Cookies
Add margarine, egg, and vanilla. Makes 2 dozen cookies.

Soups
Cheese and Broccoli Soup
You will LOVE this one! Just add half and half, milk, and Velveeta Cheese.

Cabbage Soup
Unusually tasty. Add bag of cabbage, water, cream of celery soup, cream of broccoli soup, and sour cream.

Chicken Sopa'
Add diced tomatoes, milk, and chicken. Great flavor.

Corn Chowder
Comes with dehydrated corn in the mix. Add margarine, milk, and cream style corn.

Creamy Queso Soup
Great cheesy taste. Perfect with chicken or shrimp. Add water, sour cream, green chilies and margarine. Wonderful as an enchilada sauce too.

Chicken and Dumplings
A family favorite- Delicious! Add chicken, milk, water, and canned biscuits.

Meals
Crawfish or Shrimp Cornbread
A southern favorite! Add can corn, eggs, milk, cheese, and meat. Makes 9x13 pan.

Breads
Sweet Cornbread
Very moist and sweet- almost like eating a dessert! Requires milk and eggs for a 9x9 pan.

Sugar Free
Sugar Free Peanut Butter Pie
Add cool whip and cream cheese to this mix. You won't believe that this one is sugar free!

Sugar Free Cobbler
Add margarine and your choice of fruit. Makes 7x11 pan.

Teas
Chai Tea
Add water and milk. Makes 9 cups.

Flavored Hot Chocolates- each make 8 cups
Amaretto Hot Chocolate
Chocolate Covered Cherry
Hazelnut
Reese's CupTurtle (chocolate and caramel)
Vanilla
Cinnamon

Coffees
Baklava
Cinnamon Bun
Crème Brule
Hot Fudge Brownie
White Chocolate Mousse

Miscellaneous
Country Gravy Mix
A southern favorite. Add water. Makes 4 cups of gravy. Great with chicken tenders, biscuits, and chicken fried steak.

Play Dough Packs
Red, Green, and Blue all in one package! Purple, Pink, and Orange also available. Each package makes 1 cup of each color.

Sweet Pickled Cucumbers
Soak cucumber slices, vinegar, and this mix in the refrigerator for 24 hours. Delicious!

Popcorn Seasonings
Chocolate Caramel in shaker jar
Jalapeño in shaker jar

Salads
Pasta Salad
Add mayonnaise for a great treat!

Texas Macaroni Salad
Add mayonnaise for a slightly spicy, Texas kick!

Caesar Salad DressingAdd oil (in shaker jar)

Italian Dressing

I don't know prices yet, but I am so excited to try some of these new mixes!

Driver's Licenses

Well, our social worker just told us to give her what we have and she'll see if they can go through with that. She just wants us to get her the new ones as quickly as we can. I need to get into the eye doctor as soon as I can so that I can get my new driver's license. I guess I'll see if I can find someone that can get me in on Wednesday.

In the meantime, I just pray that they will be able to work with what we have currently to get our checks done.

Working with Deidra...

Sometimes she does so well and other times it seems like she hits meltdown. Granted, we have been working with her on a couple different things lately and I understand that she's a child and heck we all have meltdowns now and again. Here is what we are working on with her and I continue to ask for guidance with rewarding and disciplining her.

#1 sleeping in her own bed throughout the night. She'd always come in our room between 2-4 am and want to snuggle and she was always either kicking Andy or I out of bed with her changing positions or rubbing her feet against us or throwing her legs over us. We finally decided that we were going to have to come up with a way to keep her in her own bed. She's been doing really well with it (reward chart) and last night was the first night in a couple of weeks that she tried to come in our room.

#2 was with her clothes. Ever since she got grounded last week and had to do her own laundry, she's been doing really well at picking her clothes out and getting dressed and she hasn't given me any problem at all. She gets dressed really easily, she isn't changing her clothes over and over again each day. Fast forward to this morning...I'm in the middle of doing some of her laundry up. She picked her Valentine's Day shirt to wear and I told her she could wear her pink jogging suit pants and it would match quite nicely. She didn't want to wear those so I told her to pick some pants out of her drawer. She couldn't make a decision for the life of her. She just sat there looking....so I told her it was either those pants, another pink pair of sweat pants, or her cream colored pants. Again, she just sat there. I told her if I counted to 3 and she couldn't pick something, that I was going to have to pick it. We counted to 3 and still she just sat there. I finally got up and picked her jogging suit pants and put them on her. Immediately the whining started "Mom, those are ugly." Keep in mind that a few weeks ago, these were all she wanted to wear. She did get dressed in them for me but the whining escalated into a fit. I told her she needed to get ready better for me again and she kept fighting me. So, she earned herself another grounding from tv after school. After that, she calmed down and finished getting ready for me pretty easily. On the way to school, she said "Mom, I was better am I still grounded?" I told her that yes, she was. I got the "your mean." answer in reply. But, she's got to learn that there are consequences from her behavior so the grounding sticks. No matter how much it breaks my heart sometimes to have to discipline her.

#3 is something I started this week with our home study just around the corner. I give the house a good scrubbing once a week (minus the past couple of weeks since things have been so busy). I should say that I try to give the house a good scrubbing once a week. Some weeks get away from me. Anyway, I finally decided that in the evenings, I set the timer for 15 minutes and we all clean for those 15 minutes. The house looks pretty decent after doing that. If Deidra starts whining and refusing to help 5 minutes gets added on. It's been going pretty good this week and the house is pretty clean with what only seems like little effort. I plan on going through today and giving it a good scrubbing and mopping the floors up too. I plan on keeping this one though...it helps take the pressure off of me. I love a clean house, but since this house is so little...it tends to clutter pretty easily and that stresses me out. If we can keep it clean by just a few minutes a day with all of us cleaning, that will majorly help me out. I think we all tend to function better with a clean house anyway.

Please help this not be too big of an issue...

Abba, please help us. Please help this not to be too big of an issue. I just have a feeling now that it's going to be. I'm hoping though that since we also have to turn in copies of our social security card that we'll be ok. We were filling out our papers for our criminal checks last night. It calls for a copy of your driver's license. I still have my MI one (gotta get into the eye doctor before they'll let me get my TX one) and so I'm hoping that won't be an issue. Then, Andy just got his TX driver's license this week and so he's just got the little temporary one on paper...no picture. So, now I'm thinking that's going to be an issue and they told him at the DMV place that it can take just a couple days to a couple of weeks to get his new one in the mail. UGH!! I have e-mailed our SW and am hoping and praying that these won't be too big of issues...guess we'll see. If we do have to have our real TX driver's licenses I pray that we can get them with God speed. :-) Please help us.