I heart my new van!!

I am loving this thing! The kids are so easy to load up...I'm still trying to figure out what all the gadgets are for since my car didn't have power anything. I love that the doors and the trunk automatically open and shut with the push of a button, I have heated front seats, and the passenger can have it one temp, while the driver has another, and the people in the back can totally have their own too. The radio not only tells you what station you have one, but it also tells you the name of the song and who sings it too. I was nervous about driving something bigger, but it totally hasn't phased me. If you want to see my actual van and all the perks that it came with you can see it here:

http://www.carlislechevy.com/VehicleDetails/917556844

We got $1000 off because my Mom works there and we were originally told the wrong price and we got $1000 for Andy's Saturn trade-in. He's going to be driving my old Cavalier back and forth to work now. I heart my new van and love driving it and I so love the fact that we all fit in one vehicle now. Oh...and I officially told my caseworker that we would take a newborn if one came in. We have the car space and the room space now. :-)

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 9

Dear Little St. Thérèse, by love and suffering while you were on earth, you won the power with God which you now enjoy in heaven. Since your life there began, you have showered down countless blessings on this poor world; you have been an instrument made use of by your divine Spouse to work countless miracles. I beg of you to remember all my wants. Sufferings must come to me also, may I use them to love God more, and follow my Jesus better. You are especially the little missionary of love. Make me love Jesus more, and all others for His sake. With all my heart I thank the most Holy Trinity for the wonderful blessings conferred on you, and upon the world through you.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: The Mission of the Little Flower. I do not intend to remain inactive in Heaven. I want to work for the Church and for souls. I have asked this of God and I am certain that He will grant my request. I will spend my Heaven doing good upon earth. This is not impossible, since the angels though always enjoying the beatific vision, watch over us. No, I cannot be at rest until the end of the world. I beseech Thee, O Jesus, to cast Thy divine glance on a great number of little souls. I beg of Thee to choose in this world a legion of little victims, worthy of Thy Love.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Musical Monday: Turn on Those Sad Songs

From Cory's blog: www.roosmom.com

For this week’s Musical Monday, Tell us a song that always brings on the waterworks for you.

I had a few...





When my Grandma died, this song came on the radio and I thought it was a message from her telling me how she was still around...it still makes me cry everytime I hear the chorus.

Please guide them through a quick deliberation...

My hubby's had jury duty last Thursday, Friday, and he went back in today. They've been deliberating since around 10 this morning. He just called and said they're still deliberating...here I was hoping that he was telling me that he was on his way home as it's almost 6 pm. He jokingly said not to wait up. Then, he added that if they didn't reach a verdict by 8 tonight they'd have to come back tomorrow. I need him to come with me tomorrow to Baby D's specialist appt with the ENT...so I'm really hoping that they can reach a verdict quickly. UGH! Please help them Abba, reach a verdict quickly so that he can come home to his family and we can have some family time tonight. I know..I'm selfish. It has been nice having him close by to come home and have lunch with me each day though...it not only breaks up my day, but it's nice to share a few minutes with him that we don't normally get together.

This is what we're going to test drive tomorrow...

Well, over the weekend I drove by my Mom's work and I happened to notice that they had 2 minivans in their used car lot. I drove up to take a quick peek at them. They were both 2007 Dodge Caravans. I talked to my Mom about them...one's 12k and one's 10k. I wanted the one with the lowest miles on it, although we'd take either one as the miles aren't all that high. She said that the white one had the lowest miles on it and not to wait too long or they'd sell before we got up there. I just sent in our stuff to see if we're qualified to get the loan and we're going to go up tomorrow morning to test drive it. I pray that it all works out as I'm so sick and tired of driving 2 cars everywhere we go.

What a sweet daughter I have!

We have new neighbors next door and across the street that just moved in...Deidra colored them pictures and put "welcome" on the top and just asked if she could go give them to them. How cute!

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 8

Dear St. Thérèse, like you I have to die one day. I beseech you, obtain from God, by reminding Him of your own precious death, that I may have a holy death, strengthened by the Sacraments of the Church, entirely resigned to the most holy Will of God, and burning with love for Him. May my last words on earth be, "My God. I love You."

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Death. It says in the catechism that death is nothing but the separation of the soul and body. Well, I have no fear of a separation which will unite me forever with the good God. I am happy to die because I shall be able to help souls who are dear to me, far more than I can here below. Life is not sad; it is very joyous. If you say, "This exile is sad," I understand you. We are wrong to give the name "life" to something which will end; it is only to the things of Heaven that we should apply this beautiful name.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 7

O little martyr of Love, you know now even better than in the days of your pilgrimage that Love embraces all vocations; that it is Love alone which counts, which unites us perfectly to God and conforms our will with His. All you sought on earth was love; to love Jesus as He had never yet been loved. Use your power in heaven to make us love Him. If only we love Him we shall desire to make Him loved by others; we shall pray much for souls. We shall no longer fear death, for it will unite us to Him forever. Obtain for us the grace to do all for the love of God, to give Him pleasure, to love Him so well that He may be pleased with us as He was with you.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Love of God. I will love God alone and will not have the misfortune of attaching myself to creatures, now that my heart perceive what He has in store for those who love Him. What attracts me to the kingdom of Heaven is the call of our Lord, the hope of loving Him as I have so desired and the thought that I shall be able to make Him loved by a great number of souls who will bless Him forever. When Christ said, "Give Me a Drink," it was the love of His poor creatures that He, the Creator of all things, desired. He thirsted for love. Remember that the dear Jesus is there in the tabernacle expressly for you, for you alone. Remember that He is consumed with a desire to come into your heart.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

God bless my girls...

Deidra tried to spend the night at her friend's house a couple weekends ago. She doesn't like being away from Mommy and Daddy and so at bedtime she cried because she missed us and asked to come home. They live a few houses down on the same street we do. Anyway, I was just laying on the couch thinking about her and wanting to call her and say good-night, but I didn't want to interrupt anything that may have been going on with not knowing their bedtime routines and all. It wasn't 5 minutes later that they knocked on the door. Part of me was glad that she was back home and I didn't have to worry about her and another part of me was sad because I knew how badly she wanted to spend the night. She's tried to spend the night with my Mom several times as well and she literally makes herself sick sometimes and we'd have to go get her in the middle of the night...she just misses us too much.

Anyway, she's trying again at the neighbors tonight. They just came and got her bedtime stuff and she got her blanket and her stuffed animal to sleep with and gave us hugs and kisses and I told her to call if she needs us even if she just needs to say good-night and to call when she wakes up. She's trying so hard to be a big girl. Give her blessings Abba to get through this night away from home and let her have fun with her friends tonight. It's hard to let her go sometimes, but I can remember nights spent with friends too and I want her to know how much fun it can be without worrying too.

And a prayer for Little J too. I think some of it is jealousy that Deidra hasn't been home much today, but she started crying for her sister tonight and she heard me say that I was worried about Deidra and how she was going to do tonight sleeping away from home and in her prayers she prayed for both her real sister and for Deidra and she's crying because she's missing her sister and being with her and she's crying because she misses playing with Deidra today and wanting Deidra to come home ok. I had to hug her and explain that nothing bad was going to happen to Deidra...she just gets scared being away from home. But, I lift Little J up in my prayers, Abba...give her some peace and comfort over her sister and also with knowing that Deidra will be home soon and that she'll be ok.

Smurfs...

We just saw it advertised on tv that they're putting the first 19 episodes (Season 1) of the Smurfs out on DVD. I am loving the fact that I can share parts of my childhood with Deidra...the same dolls that I played with, she can play with too. The same tv shows I watched are back on tv or I can get them on DVD. She loves watching tv with us and seeing the shows that we used to watch...she loves Punky Brewster and we're about to rent ALF on DVD and now the smurfs are coming out. I love seeing her reactions to the things I use to have during my own childhood. She loves her Strawberry Shortcake dolls too! :-) Granted there are things that she loves to play with (like Littlest Pet Shop) that I didn't have when I was a kid, but I really do love being able to share parts of my own childhood with her.

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 6

St. Thérèse, Patroness of the Missions, be a great missionary throughout the world to the end of time. Remind our Master of His own words, "The harvest is great, but the laborers are few." Your zeal for souls was so great, obtain a like zeal for those now working for souls, and beg God to multiply their numbers, that the millions to whom Jesus is yet unknown may be brought to know, love and follow Him.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Zeal for souls. Let us work together for the salvation of souls. We have only the day of this life to save souls and to give them to the Lord as proofs of our love. I tell Jesus that I am glad not to be able to see, with the eyes of my soul, this beautiful heaven which awaits me, in order that He may vouchsafe to open it forever to poor unbelievers. I cannot perform brilliant works; I cannot preach the Gospel or shed my blood. But what matter? My brothers work in place of me, and I a little child, keep very close to the royal throne. I love for those who are carrying on the warfare. My deeds, my little sufferings, can make God loved all over the world.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

What is this world coming to?

On my fosterparent board I've seen a few newspaper artlicle links to thing that just tear my heart out...

One couple had a newborn baby boy. They brought him home from the hospital in a blue snowsuit and brought him in the house in his carseat all buckled in. They put him (carseat and all) in his crib. He was found 8 days later (I forget by who) in the same outfit, a bottle of water tucked in his carseat, in his own urine and feces dead. They think that he cried himself to death because he was never attended to.

Another couple boiled their baby in a boiling pot of water and killed it.

And there was just another article about how a teen gave birth and wrapped it in paper towels and threw it away. It was found not breathing by a cleaning person (if I remember right) and given CPR and brought back to life. The baby later died at the hospital.

And here's another link that I just came across: http://www.wane.com/global/story.asp?s=7910035 I couldn't even look at the bathroom picture without wanting to puke. Wow!

If only people could realize just how badly there are people out there who want children...if you don't want your child...why not give it someone who does? The torture some of these babies have to endure just hurts me to the core of my being.

Candles...

I am having so much fun with my candles. I got a couple cute ones for Easter! I am selling them for $8.50 a piece.

Bunny Droppings....



Jellybean Bowl (this one makes me hungry for Easter candy everytime I smell it)...

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 5

Little Flower of Jesus, from the very first moment of your religious life you thought only of denying yourself in all things so as to follow Jesus more perfectly; help me to bear patiently the trials of my daily life. Teach me to make use of the trials, the sufferings, the humiliations, that come my way, to learn to know myself better and to love God more.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Patience in Sufferings. I do not fear trials sent by Jesus, for even in the most bitter suffering we can see that it is His loving hand which causes it. When we are expecting nothing but suffering, we are quite surprised at the least joy; but then suffering itself becomes the greatest of joys when we seek it as a precious treasure. Far from resembling those beautiful saints who practiced all sorts of austerities from childhood, my penance consisted in breaking my self-will, in keeping back a sharp reply, in doing little kindnesses to those about me, but considering these deeds as nothing.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Wow...our monthly visit lasted an hour and a half...

Andy always tells me that I get chatty with her, but she is the same with me too, so I don't feel bad. I did have a few things to discuss with her though, so whatever. She understands how I feel at times and I was having some issues with trying to figure out all this therapy that's going on...and more that is being added to the plate. The speech therapist told me yesterday when I cancelled that they were going to send a letter to my agency because of all the missed appts that I had and she wasn't super nice about it. I let my caseworker know that the therapist only works twice a week and then Friday is her make-up day. Friday is also our visit day so that isn't super feasible and if she does com eout then she can only see one of the kids because of the fact that the visits are right after school. Anyway, she told me that she'd call her up and talk to her if she had to because she understands how much I run around after all the kids and their appts and she sees the whole big picture that these therapists don't see. She told me that she's always praising us and how well we take care of the kids to everyone up at the agency and that she knows I wouldn't just cancel because I felt like it. She also told me that she had all the documentation that the kids were sick and so forth too, so she didn't want me to worry at all. I love my caseworker!

We talked about J's visit and how the adoption process all works. I feel tons better about that too although I'm not crazy about having to redo our homestudy, but it's not really a big deal...we've been through it all before and it's not really that bad.

We each have 10 more hours of training to complete before May...so we need to get our butts in gear and get those done and out of the way.

She's also thinking about upping Little J's level of care again, but I don't know that it's super necessary. I know that all the caseworkers worry about her behavior and how it's affecting us. On Friday, the CPS worker told me after their visit that she just wanted to check and make sure we were doing ok as she knows how difficult she can be and she wanted to make sure that we knew it was ok to take a break from her if we needed to. I'm glad to know that we have their support and she let us know that she definitley appreciates us.

My caseworker also let me know today that I'm one of her better foster parents and that she thinks we do a wonderful job with our kids. She says I'm always on top of their appts and everything that they need and she just wanted me to know that she is always telling everyone how great we are at what we do. I told Andy when she left that was great to hear especially since I always worry about things since we're so new to this. I can't believe we've almost been foster parents though for a year. Wow!

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 4

Dear Little Flower of Carmel, bearing so patiently the disappointments and delays allowed by God, and preserving in the depths of your soul an unchanging peace because you sought only God’s will, ask for me complete conformity to that adorable Will in all the trials and disappointments of life. If the favors I am asking during this Novena are pleasing to God, obtain them for me. If not, it is true I shall feel the refusal keenly, but I too wish only God’s Will, and pray in the words you used, that I "may ever be perfectly fulfilled in me."

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Abandonment to God. I fear only one thing---to keep my own will; take it, my God, for I choose all that You choose. The only happiness here below is to strive to be always content with what Jesus gives us. I can demand nothing with fervor, except the perfect accomplishment of God’s will in my soul. O my Beloved, I offer myself to You, that You may perfectly accomplish in me Your holy designs, and I will not allow anything created to be an obstacle in their path.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Musical Monday: I hate myself for loving you

From Cory

Are you annoyed by the singer but love their songs? Do you hate everything the song stands for but can’t stop yourself from dancing to the beat? Is it annoying? Corny? Old? But you love it anyways!!! Tell us what it is!

Back from the city by the bay...

We took Baby J to see his Mom this weekend. We took Deidra and Baby J and Baby D with us and put Little J in respite (the foster home where she stayed before us) for the weekend. We left early Saturday morning and drove through rain, heavy winds, and lots of accidents all over and it took us a little over 8 hours to get down there. I really was dreading going down there and by the time we got down there, we were all glad to be out of the car. However, we went to Wal-mart for a couple of things, ate dinner at Fuddruckers where my Dad called asking if we were ok. I said yeah, we are fine and asked why...apparently there were tornadoes in the Houston area and he just wanted to make sure we weren't driving in any of it. We got back tot he hotel and got everyone ready for bed. I slept horribly last night between worrying about the boys falling out of bed, Deidra kept getting up to use the bathroom or wanting water to drink, Andy kept turning lights on that was disturbing the boys, and the bed creaked at any turn you made and was horribly uncomfortable.

This morning, Andy had his alarm going off at 5:30...no idea why since we didn't have to be at Baby J's visit until 9...but that woke me up and so I didn't even try to go back to bed. I got up with a horrible sinus headache and a backache from the bed...took a shower which helped a bit. Got the kids up and bathed and dressed, headed over to eat breakfast...back to the hotel room to do one last check that we got everything, checked out and hopped on the road to go see Baby J's mom.

After all the caseworkers calling to set up the visit, his Mom had no idea that he was coming this weekend so it definitely made her day. She gave him his Christmas presents and she crocheted me a little purse and gave me Baby J's first pair of shoes that he ever wore. I got teary eyed and she brought up the adoption...we chatted for a few minutes about what she wanted and there were a couple things that I wasn't sure how to answer but I tried to be honest about it and that I'd have to think over some things and talk to Andy as well. She seemed to accept that. I told her that I was working on his scrapbook and she went down and got his baby book that she had made and showed me and she's going to get me a copy. She referred to me to Josiah as his "mommy" too and he had fun exploring the room. He was scratching at his head a lot and I was worried that he was having an allergic reaction to the hotel shampoo that we used as we normally only use Johnson's baby shampoo on his head when his Mom found lice eggs. I was horribly embarrassed that I didn't even know that he had them and I thought we had the lice problem here nipped in the bud since December. She totally understood and kept telling me over and over that I didn't need to apologize, he was a kid and he was going to get them from time to time. However, I apologized over and over again. She only found a couple of bugs (babies) so I'm thinking that he really just came down with them, but she wanted to bring him to the nurse to see if she could treat him or if they could find some hair clippers so we could just cut his hair shorter. She took me back with them and we got into trouble for being back there. We went back to the visitation room and talked and laughed and watched him together and she kept saying over and over that she could see how happy he was with me and she looked at the pictures I brought and she said it again. She was happy to have them though. It was a lot more comfortable between us this time. One lady that I remember from last time was giving both of us a hard time (the visit had been set up from 9-12) and she kept coming in to ask how long I intended to stay...I really felt unwelcome there and I didn't like how rude this lady was being. J's mom called her counselor in to complain...I never have done anything to be treated that way and her problems with her she didn't want being taken out on me). Anyway, they were going to find out what the problem was. Shortly before the visit was supposed to end, J's mom got permission for me to go get the camera so we could take some pics of them together. I ran out to the car to grab the camera and came back in and the lady at the desk was giving me the evil eye (it's strictly prohibited to take pics inside the premises or outside), but she had permission to take them outside. Well, we were waiting for her supervisor to come down to walk with us outside and it got past the time the visit was supposed to end and while the lady at the desk was gone, I just took a couple pics of her and Baby J together. Shortly afterwards, we were still waiting and J's diaper needed to be changed. I was packing up everything and all these people showed up in the hallway and I asked his mom if one of those ladies was her supervisor and she said no, but we both noticed that the mean lady was back and she came in and told me that she appreciated that I brought the baby, but that they needed the room for another visitation session and that I needed to pack the baby up and leave and that they got word that no pictures were allowed to be taken. I explained that she had just gotten permission and that we had done them before. She said that they had to get back to the rules, his mom looked at me and I said that I understood their rules, but that I thought the pictures were important for J so that he could have pics of the time with his mom since they've been apart for so long. She had no sympathy...his mom stood up and handed J to me, gave him a hug and a kiss, turned to me and hugged me and she told me that they both loved me for taking such good care of him and she just wanted me to know that. She didn't want me to worry or feel bad that he had lice and that we had a lifetime to share together of all of his sicknesses and broken bones together. We both got teary-eyed and then she wanted me to go with him before she broke down in front of both of us. She didn't want me to worry about the mean lady either and I told her "I will figure out how to report her if I have to...don't you worry about it." And I left with J...when we drove out she was standing in the window and I waved to her.

Andy asked how things went and I told him that it's hard to know...I think she's going to sign the adoption papers and after today's visit I am completely ok with that if she wants to. However, I also know that she's said that's what she was wanting before and she didn't follow through...so I'm just going to see how it plays out. She did really good with him today and he played with her just fine...when he was looking at his baby book and she would point out her, his Dad, and other family members...he started referring to her as "you" and when she would say "Mommy" he would point at me. She told him that he had two mommies who loved him and that we would both spend the rest of our lives loving him and wanting what was best for him, but she knows that she can't take care of him like we can and that she's still got a lot of work together to get herself back together." I was proud of her, yet I know how hard that must have been for her. She was so nervous about our visit too and I told her that I had been just as nervous. She said that even when she calls, she gets a knot in her stomach because she gets so nervous. I told Andy that when we visit, we get along fine...but yet on the phone we're both so nervous around each other. She did ask if I knew the next time that we'd be down and I told her I hadn't thought it over yet...I didn't want to promise anything yet without knowing how things were going to play out. But, I've been praying about it all and I will continue to do so....but I do feel better with things and hope she'll sign the open adoption papers and I truly hope that what she said today was all the truth and that she is truly trying to get herself back on track. She's a beautiful girl with a lot of talent and I hope she puts it all to good use for her and for Baby J and can get her life turned around.

I told Andy on the way home that I've seen adoption stories where the adoptive family treats the birthmom as an extended family member and they embrace her as one of the family and they all have a good relationship with one another...I'd love to have a relationship with her like that...I just don't know if I can...but I can see us being friends too if she gets her life turned around and going in the right direction.

Novena to St. Therese the Little Flower -- Day 3

Dear Little Flower, make all things lead me to heaven and God, Whether I look at the sun, the moon, the stars and the vast expanse in which they float, or whether I look at the flowers of the field, the trees of the forest, the beauties of the earth so full of color and so glorious, may they speak to me of the love and power of God; may they all sing His praises in my ear. Like you may I daily love Him more and more in return for His gifts. Teach me often to deny myself in my dealings with others, that I may offer to Jesus many little sacrifices.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: The Use of God’s Gifts. How much benefit have I received from the beauties of nature, bestowed in such abundance. How they raise me to Him who placed such wonders in this land of exile which is only to last a day. O sparkling nature, if I did not see God in you, you would be naught but a great tomb. With your little hand which caresses Mary, You sustain the universe and bestow life; and You think of me, O Jesus my little King. I do not wish creatures to have one atom of my love. I wish to give all to Jesus, since He has shown me that He alone is perfect happiness.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 2

O dear little Saint, now that you see the crucified Jesus in heaven, still bearing the wounds caused by sin, you know still more clearly than you did upon earth the value of souls, and the priceless worth of that Precious Blood which He shed to save them. As I am one of those children for whom Christ died, obtain for me all the graces I need in order to profit by that Precious Blood. Use your great power with our divine Lord and pray for me.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but especially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

Thought for the day: Sin. The only grace I ask, O Jesus, is never to offend Thee. By love and not by fear, does a soul avoid committing the least fault. Yes, even if I have on my conscience every possible crime, I should lose none of my confidence; my heart breaking with sorrow, I should go and throw myself into the arms of my Savior. The remembrance of my faults humbles me and makes me afraid to rely on my own strength, which is nothing but weakness.


St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore to be able to make Baby J a permanent member of our family and be able to adopt him and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Novena to St. Theresa the Little Flower -- Day 1

St. Thérèse, privileged Little Flower of Jesus and Mary, I approach you with childlike confidence and deep humility. I lay before you my desires, and beg that through your intercession they may be realized. Did you not promise to spend your heaven doing good upon earth? Grant me according to this promise the favors I am asking from you.

Intercede for us all the days of our life, but specially during this Novena and obtain for us from God the graces and favors we ask through your intercession. Amen.

St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. My request is for Baby J, that he will be able to stay here with us and that we will be granted the favor to adopt him so that he will be a permanent member of our family. We love him very much and he is just the sweetest baby boy and fits in here so well. Amen.

Thought for the day: Confidence in God. We can never have too much confidence in the good God who is so powerful and so merciful. We obtain from Him as much as we hope for. If you are nothing, do you forget that Jesus is everything? You have only to lose your nothingness in His Infinity and think only of loving Him.

O Lord, You have said: Unless you become as little children you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven; grant us, we beg You, so to follow, in humility and simplicity of heart, the footsteps of the Virgin blessed Thérèse, that we may attain to an everlasting reward. Amen.

O St. Therese of the Child Jesus, who during your short life on earth became a mirror of angelic purity, of love strong as death, and of wholehearted abandonment to God, now that you rejoice in the reward of your virtues, cast a glance of pity on me as I leave all things in your hands. Make my troubles your own, speak a word for me to Our Lady Immaculate, whose flower of special love you were -- to that Queen of Heaven "who smiled on you at the dawn of life" Beg her powerful intercession the grace I yearn for so ardently at this moment...and that she join with it a blessing that may strengthen me during life, defend me at the hour of death, and lead me straight on to a happy eternity. Amen.

O God, who did inflame with the Spirit of Love, the soul of your servant Therese of the Child Jesus, grant that we also may love you and make you much loved. Amen.

Prayers to St. Theresa the Little Flower

O glorious Saint Therese, whom Almighty God has raised up to aid and counsel mankind, I implore your Miraculous Intercession.
So powerful are you in obtaining every need of body and soul our Holy Mother Church proclaims you a "Prodigy of Miracles...the Greatest Saint of Modern Times." Now I fervently beseech you to answer

my petition
Please ask God for us to allow that Baby J remains with us forever and grants us the graces to be able to adopt him

and to carry out your promises of spending Heaven doing good upon the earth...of letting fall from Heaven a Shower of Roses.
Henceforth, dear Little Flower, I will fulfill your plea "to be made known everywhere" and I will never cease to lead others to Jesus through you.
Amen.


St. Therese, the Little Flower, please pick me a rose from the heavenly garden and send it to me with a message of love; ask God to grant me the favor I thee implore and tell Him I will love Him each day more and more. Amen.

Dear Little Flower of Lisieux, how wonderful was the short life you led.
Though cloistered, you went far and wide through fervent prayers and great sufferings. You obtained from God untold helps and graces for his evangelists. Help all missionaries in their work and teach all of us to spread Christianity in our own neighborhoods and family circles. Amen.

O Little Flower of Jesus, ever consoling troubled souls with heavenly graces, in your unfailing intercession I place my trust. From the Heart of Our Blessed Savior petition these blessing of which I stand in greatest need to be a good wife and mother and to be able to adopt our Baby J so that he can remain here with us forever. Shower upon me your promised roses of virtue and grace, dear St. Therese, so that swiftly advancing in sanctity and in perfect love of neighbor, I may someday receive the crown of eternal life. Amen.

God our Father, You destined Your Kingdom for Your children who are humble. Help us to imitate the way of St. Theresa, so that, by her intercession, we may attain the eternal glory which You promised. Amen.

God, In order that my life may be one act of perfect Love, I offer myself as a victim of holocaust to Thy merciful Love, imploring Thee to consume me unceasingly, and to allow the floods of infinite tenderness gathered up in Thee to overflow into my soul, so that I may become a very martyr to Thy Love, O my God. May this martyrdom, after having prepared me to appear in Thy presence, free me from this life at the last and my soul take flight -- without delay -- into eternal embrace of Thy Merciful Love.

O my Beloved! I desire at every beat of my heart to renew this oblation an infinite number of times, 'till the shadows retire,' and everlastingly I can tell Thee my love face to face.

O Little Flower of Jesus, you have shown yourself so powerful in your intercession, so tender and compassionate toward those who honor you and invoke you in suffering and distress, that I kneel at your feet with perfect confidence and beseech you most humbly and earnestly to take me under your protection in my present necessity and to obtain for me this favor I ask that Baby J will be able to remain with us and that we will be able to adopt him and make him a permanent member of our family. Recommend my request to Mary, the merciful Queen of Heaven, that she may plead my cause with you before the throne of Jesus, her divine Son. Cease not to intercede for me until my request is granted.

St. Theresa of the Child Jesus, pray for us. Amen.

Dearest Saint Therese, you are the Little Flower of Jesus. Pray this day that I may be made well in body, mind, and spirit. Help me to always see, as you so clearly did, that my sufferings and trials are meant to cleanse and purify me so that I may be more worthy to receive God's unending Love. Amen.


St. Therese, Little Flower, you are "love in the heart of the Church." You dedicated your life as a Carmelite Nun for good Priests to serve God's people. From your privileged place in God's Heart, I ask you to stir up responsive hearts in young men to follow Jesus as good and holy priests and religious. Bless our Church with loyal servants of the Gospel.

Renew our Church in love by igniting the love of the young men Jesus calls. We need your help, intercession, and intervention today, Beloved Patron of Priests. Amen.

Novena to St. Theresa of the Little Flower

I am going to try and do a novena each month I think for my family's requests. If anyone has any prayer requests, I'll be happy to include yours too. Just leave me a comment or an email with your request.

This month, I'm going to do a novena to St. Theresa of the Little Flower.

Therese Martin was born in Alencon France in 1873, the youngest of nine children. Her father, Louis, was a successful watchmaker and jeweler. Her mother Zelie Guerin, built a cottage industry in lace making, beginning in the village of Alencon, which is known for its delicate lace. Four of Therese's siblings died at a young age; the remaining five girls eventually all entered the convent, so deep was their call to sanctity. Four became contemplative Carmelite Nuns at the Lisieux Carmel, and one became a Visitation sister.

Therese wasn't always a nun nor was she always a saint. She was a very regular little girl, who was rather sensitive. In fact, she seemed like a spoiled little girl, who would stomp her feet and have a temper tantrum if she did not get her own way. After the death of her mother, while Therese was only 4, her father, who referred to her as "my little queen" would give her anything she wanted to keep her happy. Louis Martin was protective of his daughters. He wouldn't allow them to read the newspapers, fearful that it would make them too worldly. But the mischievous girls would steal away with the newspaper while papa napped and carefully return it before he awoke.

At a young age, this precocious child wanted everything. She would get more than she bargained for. Sick physically and emotionally, she was healed by Our Lady of the Smile at the age of 11. She experienced a profound conversion on Christmas eve, 1886, at the age of 13. She felt a call to enter Carmel as a contemplative Nun, so that she could give herself totally to Jesus. But she was too young. Appeals to the Mother Superior and Priest Chaplain yielded: "when you are old enough -16". Not content, Therese and her father appealed to the Bishop. Not getting the response she wanted, she appealed directly and personally to the Pope while on a parish pilgrimage to Rome. Therese had always said: "I want everything" - and she usually got it.

Persistence paid off. Therese was allowed to enter the Lisieux Carmel at the age of 15 - her father lived to see her professed a Carmelite Nun. She took the religious name of Sister Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face. God's spirit worked powerfully in Therese, so open was she to Divine Love. Still dreaming of taking on the world as a priest and missionary, she wrestled with her vocation and place in the Church. Finally she came to realize that her "vocation is love" - the love of God was the energy source for the Church - and fulfillment of the human heart and longing.

Despite her desire for the dramatic and expansive, Therese developed a simple spirituality, based on childlike trust and confidence in God. The spirituality of her "little way" was not about extraordinary things - but rather about doing simple things of life well and with extraordinary love. She believed and taught that "everything is grace" - God's face and presence could be experienced in every person and situation of our lives, if we just attend with love and expectancy. Her struggle, like ours, is to be where God places us in the real life situations of our lives. Therese's is a hands-on, challenging and focused spirituality. This is what made Therese shine, and why she has been declared a Doctor of the Church. Her spirituality is simple, childlike, profound and human - it is refreshing in our confusing and complicated age.


Experiencing the dark night of the senses and spirit refined the power and energy of this young, precocious Carmelite. Her poems and plays reflect her struggle to give all to God. Her love became surrender, as she slowly died of tuberculosis. Her superior asked her to write down her reflections, which became her autobiography, "Story of a Soul." She died at the age of 24, believing that her life was really just beginning for God, promising to spend her heaven doing good on earth. Her promised "shower of roses" began and have become a torrent in the Church ever since

She was canonized by the Church in 1925, when she would have been only 52 years old. In October, 1997, Pope John Paul II declared her a Doctor of the Church, because of the impact and challenge her spirituality has had on the lives of so many of God's children

I forgot the stinkin' camera!

We went to Deidra's Sock Hop last night and after we got there, I realized that I had forgotten the camera. It was so cute to see her out there dancing with her friends. The boys were even bopping along in their strollers. I tried to encourage Little J to go out and do the hokey pokey and limbo with all of them, but she was too shy of all the people which is so unlike her. She just wanted to be close to me all night. It was fun though...Deidra was a bit upset that the boy she wanted to dance with chickened out at the last minute...although the mean mom that I must be...I was secretly glad. I'm not ready for all that stuff yet....she's got plenty of time for boys...I'm not ready for that to start in first grade. Please hold off for a few years!!

Andy was sweet and brought, me, Deidra, and Little J home a rose. Mine was red, Little J's was yellow, and Deidra's was peach. It totally made Little J's day...she was so excited that she got a "real" flower and she kept going to look at it in the vase. We got the kids little chocolates, cars, and bear pens for Valentine's day. They were psyched.

Andy and I had our own fun after the kids went to bed...well as much fun as you can have with both of us not being able to breathe. lol. I'm thinking that I have an Upper Respiratory Infection, but since I'm uninsured right now I won't go to the doctor. I figure it has to clear up on it's own at some point.

I finally did apply for insurance for Deidra and I. I waited around for a guy to call me back with some quotes all through January and after being promised them a couple of times...they never came. So, we went insurance shopping online and I finally sent in some stuff for Deidra and I.

Prayer request for Baby J too...I gave him a bath the other night and when I was lotioning him afterwards I noticed a little raised skin on the left side of his neck and it was all puffed out. I felt it and it was definitely hard underneath, but the nodule moved when you pushed on it. It freaked me out and I had Andy come look at it. He got a bit freaked out by it too. Well, yesterday I called the doctor and she couldn't fit him in until Tuesday. I called another place and they couldn't get him in until Thursday. I wasn't going to wait that long and freak out that whole time. I knew better than to research the internet but did it anyway and got freaked when I read about cancer. I called my caseworker and asked a couple of things. I told her I was going to take him to the ER but if they needed to biopsy it or anything, I wondered if I needed CPS approval first. We talked for a few minutes and I told her I'd let her know as soon as I knew anything. Had the fastest ER visit, I've ever had. I went in and told them what was going on, they didn't even have me pre-register or have him see the triage nurse...they took him straight back. Good news is...he's got an ear infection and an infection in his lymph nodes. They gave him some zithromas and told us to alternate some motrin and tylenol for his pain. I told them that he never even indicated that he was hurting at all and even the nurse commented that he was letting her poke and prod at him with no fussiness at all...he just kept smiling at her. So, I think he must have a high pain tolerance. I'm just giving him the pain meds anyway though to make him more comfortable. Poor baby! So pray that he feels better soon.

Valentine's Day Plans

Anyone have anything exciting planned for Valentine's Day? We're going to Deidra's Sock Hop at school tonight. She's going to have her first dance with a boy...I'm so not ready for that.

Kiss Me

Here's Baby J opening some Valentine's gifts from foster grandma in Phoenix. I used some pieces from different kits and forgot which ones I grabbed from. Oh well!

How much sense does this make?

I meant to post this yesterday...

We go get the girls from school. Little J walks in and discovers that Baby D had gotten into her Tinkerbell cards. I sent Deidra up to their room to go get books to read for their read-a-thon and while she's up there Little J goes stomping and screaming into their room and walks up to Deidra and just bites her in the arm. Deidra starts crying and lets me know that Little J just bit her and sure enough, there's a good imprint on her arm. I ask Little J why she did that and she says "I'm mad. Baby D got into my stuff." I asked her what that had to do with Deidra. She just repeats "I'm mad." Deidra tries to be nice and went to help her pick up her cards and Little J scratches her. I send Little J down to time out while I put the boys to bed and she immediately starts playing the "Nobody cares about me" card. I sat down with her and told her that wasn't true and that she knew it and that she was doing a time out because she bit Deidra for no reason. I told her that we don't bite in this house. She says "well, I guess I'm just an idiot then, nobody cares about me, and I don't care if I hurt myself anymore." She starts banging her head against the wall. I told her "we do care about you here and deep down you know that and you need to be good to yourself. She stops and finishes her time out. She gets up and immediately went to Deidra and tells her "I love you and I'm sorry. I was just mad." I still don't understand though that she's mad at her brother, but she chooses to bite Deidra.

I think Deidra was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I wish I knew how to get this little girls anger in check. She's been doing so much better these past couple of weeks and then we get this today.

Update: After all of that, she just came to me on the couch and said "you are my best Mommy I ever had...you care about me and make me be good to everybody and nobody ever did that afore. I love you and Deidra and everyone here and I'm sorry for biting." I think we're making some headway now. Talk about making me cry.

Danger

Abba, may you always keep my Rew free from any danger wherever he may go. Keep him safe and sound and keep him under a shroud of your protection.

The eyes of the Lord run to and fro thought the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him. 2 Chronicles 16:9

The Lord will be a shelter for His people, and the strength of the children of Israel. Joel 3:36

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

Amen.

A wife...

A wife is one who shares her husband's thoughts; incorporates his heart in love with hers, and crowns him with her trust. --Henry Van Dyke

My mom got Andy and I each a book on Praying God's Promises for one another for Christmas. I opened up my book today and opened to this quote. We'll be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary this year. I look at all we've been through, our goals that we have together, our goals that we have apart, and I look at our relationship. It's changed so much in 10 years...we still have some of the same struggles with our families, but we've learned to go forward together and not care so much. It's funny how we can happen to say things together at the same time or finish one another's sentences and then look at each other and laugh. We're always learning things about each other that we never knew before even after being together for almost 12 years. We take each other for granted at times and have to be reminded not to do that. We know how important it is to keep the communication lines open, yet we sometimes forget to do that with how busy things tend to get around here. But, deep down we always know how much we're loved and we're making it a goal this year to focus on remembering to show one another all the time how much we love one another and not take each other for granted so much. I know deep down that I have a husband who loves his family tremendously and I trust him with all of my heart. I hope he always knows how much I truly love him and I hope that he can always trust me as well.

Musical Monday: Can’t Get Enough

Before Lent...

Here's mine...totally reminds me of my guy crushes way back when....



After Lent (I started listening to only Christian Music once Lent started).....

Sunday's Homily

I went to church yesterday and we had a visiting priest. He's a priest for the Marines. Anyway, he touched on the fact that a lot of us judge ourselves against other people...oh, I'm better than them...I'd never do that. Or this person has done this, this, and this, and I have only done one of those things...I'm better than them. Or we judge each other based on what we have monetarily and think we're better than other people based on that. He reminded us that just because one person does one thing and we don't that we do other things that equally equal the sins of that other person we're judging each other on. He said that Christ is not like that and that he loves us and sees us all as equals no matter what we've done wrong. He said if we're going to judge ourselves, we need to judge ourselves against God so that we see the real picture.

My Mom's RCIA students had to go to the cathedral in Dallas last night and since she hates driving Dallas, she asked me to go with her. I had to share a picture of the Cathedral. It's beautiful inside and out.

We talked a lot about the homily..we each took something out of it a bit different. But, I asked her "how do not judge some things as being different...I gave her the example of someone like Mother Teresa who helped all the sick and she was there for everyone and then you take someone who gets pregnant over and over again and has numerous abortions or you take a serial killer for instance? How do you not say that Mother Teresa was the better person and not judge them against one another? My Mom even agreed with me that she couldn't. I guess it's another mystery of how Christ works.

Even the homily at the Cathedral spoke to me. He spoke about how God calls people at all different times. But, when He does call you, we're to go forth, step out of our comfort zones, and go where He calls us to go and do what He calls us to do. And we're supposed to tell everyone about our beautiful God. He based a lot of his homily on this song:



Then we closed with this song and I sang it with tears in my eyes. I can't tell you how strong I sensed the Holy Spirit and he just grabs a hold of my heart and brings my to tears every time I sense Him.




I love it when God speaks to me and I can totally sense His Presence!

Deidra's Valentine Gift

A quick Valentine layout that I did with a plopper of my daughter, Deidra.

What a beautiful day!

It's in the low 70s and we took the kids for a walk to burn off some energy around the neighborhood. It was nice getting out and about and seeing the new houses going up and talking and getting to know a few of our neighbors. It wore the boys out and they came home and wanted to take another nap. I love our neighborhood...so many friendly people here. I can't believe it's February 9 and I'm wearing a T-shirt and shorts. Last year, it was freezing around this time. The weather is warm one day and freezing the next this year and we all have colds and coughs because of it, but it really is beautiful outside. I can't wait until everything greens up and there's leaves and flowers blooming again.

Hi again, Abba...

I just wanted to put this out there. So many people have criticized what I've been doing with these kids or certain things that are going on with the birthparents...like questioning me if Baby J's adoption goes through the courts if we'd reconsider letting his mom have access to him regardless if the adoption was closed...or feeling sorry for Baby D and Little J's birthparents because they're working their services but the judge and all the people working with the children and advocating for them were worried about the education aspect of it all. Their parents don't take anything education wise that the schools and therapists say and with their past history of just not making the kids go to school and all that...so why shouldn't the parents be held accountable for that. Then again, there's so much more to these cases than I can really get into too that people don't stop and realize that they don't see all the pieces to the puzzle and yet they want to criticize me for the feelings that I have. I'm not cold-hearted...I do have a heart...heck, I'm often the one that gets hurt a lot of the time because I put my feelings last...but working with these kids and all...I really want what is best for them. I've even tried to develop a friendship with Baby J's mom and I've gone above and beyond what is expected of me...yet there became a part to it all that I realized that she's been given tons of options to have the open adoption that she wanted to have...it's her decision not to sign the papers...and yes, we did agree that if we were granted an adoption through the courts and it was closed that we would keep it that way. You become a parent...you're a parent...that's not an option. You don't get to choose when you want to be a parent and when you don't want to. So, there have been many a time when she's known that he's on the phone waiting to talk to her and she's refused to come to the phone. Yes, I realize that she's going through a lot, but you can't let life get in the way of your children and you don't treat them like crap just because of what's going on in your life. Thankfully, he's too little to understand that his Mom just didn't feel like talking to him...but that's not going to last for long and I don't want her walking in and out on him later on just to make herself feel better. She's had this option since September and around Christmastime she found out that she was getting down to the wire with her decision. The attorney went out to talk to her after the holidays and she still refused to sign knowing full-well that they were going to court to get a handle on things in Feb/March. As much as I would like her to be able to have contact with her son, that option still remains in effect until court meets...it's in HER hands. I do feel sorry for her on one level, but if she doesn't sign the papers for an open adoption...at some point I have to hold her accountable to that. It's her decision...not mine.

So, rather than people criticizing me for my feelings or when I'm venting...please realize that there are pieces to the puzzle that you're not aware of and that I am not cold hearted...but there are some things that people need to be held accountable too...parenting is not a choice when you have your children living with you and if they make mistakes and just don't care about it or continue to make excuses...yes, I do feel that you need to be held accountable for that.

Abba, please give me patience to deal with people's comments sometimes and help me realize that sometimes they do have my best intentions at heart, but just don't always say things the greatest way either and I do get hurt.

Goals

I decided to take a break from some of my mailing lists for this week. I need to catch up on some goals and I need to give my emotions a break. I'm coming to understand more and more that if you've never been involved in foster care or even the adoption process that people tend to not understand. I think some of my simple vents are being misunderstood as well and I think it's time I learn that not everyone understands what we deal with or are going through at times.

Catch up on my Bible studies for Lent.
Get the house cleaned up and laundry all caught up.
Get back to exercising and eating more healthy.
Get the kids Lifebooks caught up.
Get taxes done.
Try to get Baby J's soc. number.
Spend some more quality time with my hubby.
Pray.

Well the judge decided...

Baby D and Little J are here at least until the end of the school year and the situation will be re-evaluated then.

Ash Wednesday

Today marks the start of lent...I still have no idea about what I'm giving up. I'm thinking about giving up fast food and pop. Something that gets me moving in a healthy direction. I'm also thinking about going back to listening to only Christian music for lent and doing at least one Bible study per day. Yeah, I think this is what I'm going to do.

If I was slightly different...

If You Were Slightly Different, Your Name Would Be:

Jennifer

What Would Your Name Be If You Were Slightly Different?

Musical Monday: May I have this dance?

Here's mine: Lady in Red by Chris De Burgh

Laughing at Life Answers

just saving space for now...my answers of our humorous moments as a couple will come later. Check back later tonight or tomorrow and I'll have them posted.

Laughing at Life

A cheerful heart is good medicine. --Proverbs 17:22

During the early 1980s I attended a resident executive education program at the Harvard Business School. Lonely for Patsy, my wife, I asked her to fly to Boston for a weekend.

We painted the town. The highlight for us both was an evening at the Boston Pops with John Williams conducting. The atmosphere was electric as the audience sipped wine, munched on chips, ate sandwiches, and waited for the concert to begin. I had reserved famulous seats right in the middle of the floor about ten rows from the stage. Perfect!

The seating hostess led us to our seats. The waitress came. We ordered our sandwiches and coffee. We chatted with the two ladies sseated at our table. Patsy looked radiant in a beautiful silk skirt and blouse. A few minutes before the concert was to begin we both decided on one last pit stop.

As Patsy and I stood, her slippery silk skirt slid across her slippery silk slip and landed down around her ankles. Patsy's horrified eyes grew into giant saucers. Stunned to a crimson red, I managed to blurt out, "What in the world is going on?"

Patsy grabbed up her skirt and we bolted out of there! One in the hall, tears of laughter began to stream down our cheeks. She had forgotten that she had loosened the button on her tight skirt during our meal.

Too embarrassed to return to our seats, we sneaked into the balcony. The slightly irritated family seated next to us never could understand what wefound so humorous about a Pops performance. And we sure didn't tell them!

God has given couples no greater gift than the ability to laugh at life together. The joy of sharing humorous secrets and private jokes breathes energy into a marriage.

Some of these tales bear repeating. I cannot begin to tell you how much mileage we have had from our Boston Pops story with our kids, our parents and our friends. It always produces raucous howling.

Yet, as much as others enjoy this story, no one will ever enjoy the treasured experience as we do. We were there! And no one can ever take the adventure away from us.

Even our faux pas and embarrassments can make a merry heart. If we don't let our pride get in the way and go with the flow every experience can be a source of growing more deeply in love with one another.

DISCUSSION:
Both answer: What has been your most humorous moment together as a couple? How does that shared experience bond you more deeply together? What are some other humorous experiences you have shared?

Application:
Let the humor in your life become family folklore. Share a humorous experience with your children, parents, and close friends at the next opprtune moment. What other humorous experiences can you share? Don't hesitate to tell them over and over again. Who knows--you may create a legend!

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank You from the bottom of our hearts for the precious gift of humor. Thank You for the laughter you have allowed to grace our marriage. May we always treasure our most humorous experiences. May they be a blessing both to us and to our family. Most of all, we than You for giving us to each other. Amen.

Devotionals

Well, I ran out with my Mom yesterday to go to Half-Priced Books. I've been running on empty for awhile...sometimes I just feel like I give and give to everyone all day all the time and nobody is giving me anything in return to fill me up. I got to talking to my Mom about how I was feeling and mentioned that when I take the time to do my morning devotionals, I really feel that my days go much better. I also feel that my marriage could use a renewed spark and so when I stumbled on a few devotionals for married couples, I snatched them right up off the shelf. I'll be sharing my devotionals if anyone wants to participate. If not, that's fine too. I just like sharing my thoughts with God...my Abba.

Sloganize Yourself

It Could Be Jessica.

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Jessica Is Job 1.

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Pardon Me, Do You Have Any Grey Jessica?

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Tell Them About The Jessica, Mummy.

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A Glass and a Half in Every Jessica.

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It's That Jessica Feeling.

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