Happy birthday, Mom!

Hi Abba. Will you please wish my Mom a happy birthday for me today and give her a hug from me and tell her that I love her?

Dear Mom,

I want you to know that I love you...I love you more and more as I get older, although it seems that I get madder and madder at myself sometimes because I can't remember some things about you. It's funny that I can still hear your voice inside my head with the way that you used to yell my name when you were mad at me, yet I can't seem to remember your personality. Yet, I know that I was your little girl and that we loved one another dearly. I remember you taking me here and there, whether that was rollerskating (I have good memories of those days), whether it was going for tea with Grandma, 3-wheeling with Uncle Steve and Aunt Shirley and Cousin Jon (those were some fun times too), you helping with parties and field trips at my school, going camping at Jellystone and to the amusement parks, and running errands with Aunt Jerrilynn. You were always doing something with me and giving me the gift of your time and love.

You were taken from me far too young and I miss you dearly. I used to wonder if you were still here with me in some way. The milestones in my life were hard not having you to be a part of them...graduation from high school...getting married...having my darling little Deidra (oh, how you would love her...but I'm sure Grandma has told you about her)...I miss you always but those times I missed you 10x more.

I know that you are still here with me in some ways. You showed me that when Grandma was sick. That was such a hard thing for me and I had my first dream about you that I can remember in a very long time. And when I found out that she had passed away and I went upstairs to cry and pray, your picture just fell into my lap (there was nothing to cause it to happen...it just did) and I knew that you were there to comfort me. I held your picture in my hands for awhile and just looked at you. That's when I truly really knew that a mother's love never leaves you and that you were here with me. I got up to put your picture back up on the entertainment center and I sat down sobbing. Not even a couple minutes later, your picture did the same thing and I just sat there with you for a long time. I knew you were there to comfort me. That was an amazingly hard event in my life...I was so angry after that...I was 25 years old and had lost 2 of the most important people in my life that I was extremely close too and meant the world to me...you and Grandma. I think I lost a little of myself when you were taken from me, and I think I did when Grandma died too.

I made it to 30 years old this year. It was a scary birthday for me. One that I was dreading. It's a weird and scary thing to make it the birthday that your mom lost her life on. All I can think about is that you were taken far too young. I can remember thinking that you and Dad were so old when you'd tell me that you were in your twenties when I was little. Now, that I'm 30 I certainly don't feel very old. You were young when you died and I always knew that, but it's in a whole other light that I really see how young you were when I sit here at 30 years old myself. I wish you could have lived at least 30 more.

I used to sit and wonder what you were doing up in Heaven and I used to imagine you sitting and rocking all the babies and visiting with your loved ones that have already passed on. I know Heaven must be one amazing place and I hope that you're having one heck of a birthday party up there today. If I've done my calculations right, you turn 52 today. Thank you for giving me such a good childhood and for loving me so much. I'm sorry that you're not here physically with me, but I know that your spirit is with me. I asked Jesus to give you a hug from me today and to tell you how much I love you and hope that you have a wonderful birthday. I miss you Mom, but I know that we'll see each other again one day.

I love you.

Love,
Jess

St. John the Apostle

St. John was a fisherman in Galilee. He was called to be an apostle with his brother, St. James. Jesus gave these sons of Zebedee the nickname, "sons of thunder." St. John was the youngest apostle. He was dearly loved by the Lord. At the Last Supper, it was John who was permitted to lean his head on the chest of Jesus. John was also the only apostle who stood at the foot of the cross. The dying Jesus gave the care of his Blessed Mother Mary to this beloved apostle. Turning to Mary, he said, "Behold your mother." So the rest of her life on earth, the Blessed Mother lived with St. John. He alone had the great privilege of honoring and assisting the all-pure Mother of God.On Easter morning, Mary Magdalene and the other women went with spices to Jesus' tomb to anoint his body. They came running back to the apostles with exciting news. The body of Jesus was gone from the tomb. Peter and John set out to investigate. John arrived first but waited for Peter to go in ahead of him. Then he went in and saw the neatly folded linen cloths. Later that same week, the disciples were fishing on the lake of Tiberias without success. A man standing on the beach suggested they let down their nets on the other side of the boat. When they pulled it up again it was full of large fish. Now John, who knew who this man was, called to Peter, "It is the Lord." With the descent of the Holy Spirit the apostles were filled with new courage. After the Ascension, Peter and John cured a crippled man by calling on the name of Jesus.John lived nearly a century. He himself was not martyred, but he did lead a life of suffering. He preached the Gospel, and became bishop of Ephesus. In the last years of his life, when he could no longer preach, his disciples would carry him to the crowds of Christians. His simple message was, "My dear children, love one another." St. John died in Ephesus around the year 100.

"The disciples saw our Lord in the flesh, face to face; they heard the words he spoke, and in turn they proclaimed the message to us. So we also have heard, although we have not seen; yet we have fellowship with them, because we and they share in the same faith." -St. Augustine

Saint of the Week...

I've been finding sometimes that I really need some extra inspiration. I want to live a good and fulfilling life. I don't always know what to do in certain situations or what the right thing is to do. I really enjoy reading about the saints...I always have ever since I was little. I think I'm going to start posting about them and using their examples as extra inspiration and focus on the virtues that they taught by example.

Lifting up some friends in prayer...

Hi Abba. I'd like to lift up some friends of mine in prayer...

I'd like to pray for S and M and for M's mom who hasn't been doing too well lately and now the situation looks even more bleeker. I pray for peace and comfort for them.

I'd like to lift up L and L. They've been having some hard times with their eldest daughter and now that they seem to be coming out of the woods with that, they are really having a hard time in their marriage. Please help them to work through this and become a stronger couple even more in love.

I'd like to lift up M. She lost her husband a little over a year ago in a car accident. She's really been struggling with losing him and she's got 2 small little ones that she's been raising alone. She just started dating again over the summer and really thought she had found a wonderful person that really understood that she wasn't ready to let go of her husband and he wanted her and the kids to feel comfortable talking about him. Well, she just found out that she is pregnant about a month ago and now I guess their relationship is really having a hard time. They're arguing a lot and she's really confused and doesn't want to deal with it anymore. I don't know if he's just nervous about the baby coming now and she's been having a hard time emotionally since she found out that she was pregnant with being happy and scared and all and I don't know if they're just taking their feelings out on one another or not, but I really want her to be happy again and I really hope that they can work through this. On top of all this, her grandpa isn't doing too well and she's upset that she's so far away from him. Give her some peace, Abba, with all of this.

I also pray for C. Her husband's grandma just passed away the day after Christmas and is taking it very hard. I pray for some peace and comfort there too.

So frustrating...

Abba, please give me and Andy some guidance on what to do with this situation. I'm so tired of feeling harrassed about my availability, when I'm just trying to be there for my child. That's where I feel that I need to be. She's more important to me than any job...she comes first. Yet, I'm also the one that holds the health insurance on Deidra and I...I just don't know what to do.

I was pretty much told today that my schedule during the week is no longer customer friendly. She wants to get rid of the customer complaints about self-checkout so she's got this grand plan in her head. She needs me to be able to work from 7:30-12 or from 9-6. I can only work from 8-2 during the week as that's when D is in school. I'm not paying for a babysitter during the school year when there's only some weeks that I only get about 20 hours. So, since I can't do that, I'm no longer customer friendly. She's going to start scheduling me on the weekends only. This is pretty much what I wanted when we started fostering, but I need something to keep me busy during the waiting time. :-( I don't know whether to stay or whether to look for something else. And all I keep thinking about is how I can't really quit because I hold the insurance for Deidra and I. Yeah, we could go on Andy's plan at work, but then that's $800 a month for all of us. I just don't see how that's right. The company he works for is completely awesome other than that.

Maybe a new little girl for our family?...

Please keep us in your prayers that we'll be able to adopt this little girl. She's totally stolen our hearts. We petitioned to foster-to-adopt a little girl named Bonnie last night. You can see and read about her here... http://tare.dfps.state.tx.us/search/ChildDetail.jsp?TareId=38063

My heart keeps being drawn back to her and when I decided to show her picture and info to my Mom this morning after church, she even said that she just looks like she needs to be here and she'd fit right in. I found her information a couple of weeks ago and I talked to Andy about her last night and he said lets send an inquiry in to see if we can get her. So, we did. The guy is going to call me on Wednesday morning and see if he can set us up with placement visits since we're starting our training in January. She can't move in or anything until our training is done and our home study is done...but we're praying that she'll be able to be ours and we'll be able to adopt her...in the meantime we'll see about being able to visit with her.

Grateful Friday

Abba, thank you for all the blessings in my life and for all those blessings that you have yet to bring. Here are some things that I am grateful for this week...

1. That I'm finally off of work today and have Saturday off as well.

2. For my beautiful daughter who has such a big heart.

3. For my wonderful husband who is so supportive.


4. For my brother, Jimmie, who agreed to watch D for me while he's off of break. He's been such a good uncle with her too.

5. For my mom, who has been so supportive of all of our decisions and has stood behind us 100%.

6. And I am so glad and happy that the news of Your birth is right around the corner. I welcome You into our hearts and our family celebrations, Abba. It's almost Your birthday!

Gee whiz...

I don't think I'll ever understand my BIL. Before Andy and I got married, I never thought that I'd ever have issues with my IL's. It just seems like my relationship with Geoff (BIL) really went downhill after Andy and I got married and Andy's and his relationship has really changed as well. I know there's a lot of hurt there between all of us, but I just don't know how to fix it. Geoff and Andy barely talk and Mimi (his wife) no longer talk at all. They're like this with the whole family, so I know it's not just me, but I think back to the times when Andy and I were dating and Geoff was dating his old girlfriend, Kate, and I think about those times when we all got along and were able to have fun together. Deidra has no idea of who they are and often forgets that she has another uncle besides my brothers. It makes me sad and I was hurt when they completely never even acknowledged her birthday this year. Well, the UPS driver just dropped off a huge package for us. She had to back into the driveway and I had her sit it just inside the door as I couldn't move it...I couldn't believe how huge this package was. I look down to see who it's from...Geoff. I swear that they think that buying Deidra expensive gifts for Christmas and going all out makes up for their lack of time that they talk to her or spend with her. I just told Andy on the phone that I wish they'd honestly see that it's not about the material things...it's about spending time with someone. Yes, I realize that they live in AZ now, but they can still call and talk to her...that's how Deidra knew my Mom when we were living up north and that's how Deidra knows Andy's mom...is by talking to them over the phone. It honestly just makes my heart break sometimes...Abba, please help mend our relationships with each other...that is worth more to us than anything materialistic.

A birthday party...

Dear loved ones, as you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don't know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn't invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn't remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face .... and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn't surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn't invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" .. as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 Midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and ... do you know .. no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me. What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that over two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn't invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party. I'm still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don't answer the invite, will be left outside. Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon. I Love you!
Jesus

P.S. Please share this message with your loved ones, before Christmas

All done Christmas shopping...

I am finally all done. Yesterday, I went to go Christmas shopping for my brother, Jimmie, after work. I had my Mom left to do as well and Jimmie had told me what she wanted and we were going to go in halfsies for it. Well, I went to look to see how much it was and I couldn't figure out which set it was, so I figured out that I needed my brother. So, I wound up going to Mom's work to schedule my oil change and asked her to call to see if Jimmie was home. I told her she wasn't allowed to ask what I was stealing him for. She offered to do a kid swap so Jimmie and I could spend some real time together and she would go get Deidra from daycare when she was done with work. She was excited about seeing her old friends from the summer, so I figured that she'd want to stay and play longer anyway, so I said that was fine. She called Andy for me and Andy said that he was going to go out shopping after work as well then. So, I went and got Jimmie and we headed out...we went to Wal-mart and did some shopping. The thing we were going to get Mom together turned out to not be as expensive as we thought, so he got her that and I said that I'd get her a few other little things that she wanted and then I'd take her after Christmas to our church's gift shop to get her the picture that she told me that she's been wanting. I had a hard time shopping for Andy this year...I hope that he likes what I got for him. Everytime I asked him what he wanted, he'd say "nothing." Now to just do all the wrapping and then I can sit back and relax over the next few days. I really love Christmas. I love the meaning of Christmas and it's really a little more eye opening every year. It's not all about the gifts that you get or buy for one another. Jesus is really the gift of the season...something I was sitting and thinking about in church a couple of weeks ago and it just hit me more than usual. God gives us a gift each and every day and that is His son... I hear people talk about all the gifts they buy and how much they spend on Christmas each year and I think they've got it all wrong sometimes. Yeah, getting all that stuff is nice, but geesh one couple that I was waiting at HD told me they've spent over $5000 on Christmas this year. I guess I just don't get why people think that they need to go all out like that. You can still have a wonderfully nice Christmas and not spend a fortune. I guess I just look at Christmas a lot simpler...my parents never had the money to give us kids a Christmas like that. We always got 3-5 small gifts and 1 big one. Granted, I do buy more for Deidra than that...but we spent about $120 on her and that was our biggest expense. We settled on $30 for each person down here that we were buying for and we gave family that we were shipping too about $20 and friends that we were shipping to we gave about $10. We stick to our Christmas budget and we still have a great Christmas. I just don't understand why people feel the need to dig themselves a hole and go so much into debt over Christmas. I just think that they need to quit materializing Christmas so much and honestly really look at the meaning of Christmas. Thank You God for the beautiful gift that You have given all of us...your beautiful son, Jesus.

Wow...2 teeth in less than a week...

Well, I sent her off to daycare today and she was showing the kids her loose teeth. She just lost her first one the other day (on the 15th). Well, apparently she was eating her lunch and the kids just told her to twist it a little bit and it would come out. Obviously, she listens to her friends better than mommy and daddy as she did what they told her without being scared to do it and out it popped. She forgot to tell me that she had lost it so we had to go back to daycare to get it. It's so weird to see her with such a big whole as this one that she lost today was directly above the one she lost the other day. Wow..loosing her first 2 teeth within 4 days of each other....she's anxious to see what the tooth fairy brings her...I asked her what she wanted...she said she wanted to go out to dinner. I told her the tooth fairy comes at night when you're asleep...she can't leave you food under your pillow. She says "well, I still would like to go out for dinner." We left her $1 in coins the other night for her gift...what to come up with now. :-)

How to tell when you're ready to have children....

I found this one quite comical...especially the toy test. It reminds me of all the times I've tried to make it through Deidra's room in the middle of the night while trying not to step on her toys and wake her up. lol. Abba, Even will all the "tests" of parenthood though, I am thankful for my daughter an everything that has come along with her. Hey, you have to go through some testing phases, or you'll never appreciate all the good moments. :-)

How to tell whether or not you are ready to have children:

The Mess Test:Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains withcrayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there allsummer.

The Toy Test:Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available,you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friendspread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk tothe bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream. (This could wake a child at night.)

The Grocery Store Test:Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take themwith you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them insight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The Dressing Test:Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small netbag, making sure that all arms stay inside.

The Feeding Test:Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspendfrom the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Froot Loops or Cheerios)into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane.When finished, dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

The Night Test:Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 p.m. beginto waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag andset your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and singevery song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more andsing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get upand make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

The Physical Test: (Women):Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of yourclothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans.The Physical Test (Men):Go to the nearest drugstore. Set your wallet on the counter. Askthe clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store.Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directlydeposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

The Final Assignment:Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on howthey can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilettraining, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they canimprove. Emphasize to them that they should never allow theirchildren to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

All set for orientation and training...

Abba, sometimes I really think that when we were praying about what we were supposed to do in our lives that You just picked us up and fit us into this puzzle right where we belong. It's almost like you picked us up like little children by the arms and dropped us down where we belong. Things are being revealed to me little by little. It's just funny sometimes when I think about even where we live. We already knew what church we'd be going to even before we moved down...when Mom found out about this house being for rent, she had no idea of where it was or what it even looked like...yet where is it located? It's 3 houses down from the church...we just walk across the parking lot and we're there. My work is literally just 10 minutes away. Then, I think about our adoption journey and ever since I really found out about other countries orphanages, I always wished that I could just jump in and help. I never thought that we had orphanages here in America. I had heard about the Texas Baptist Children's Home before, yet I never knew what it was. I just thought it was a physical therapy place or something for children and I never really knew where they were located even. I just knew that the employees used to come into Home Depot now and again for supplies. Then, I start looking into this foster parent thing and what do I stumble across...Texas Baptist Children's Home. I realize it's on Farley St. They're a part of Farley St. Baptist Church...we just went to their Christmas program a week or so ago with Mom. I sent off for an information packet and asked what we had to do to get signed up for training. Amy called me this morning and talked with me about it all and got us signed up for orientation on January 9 and training starts on January 13 and goes until the 27th. I asked her where they were located and it's literally just up the road from Deidra's school. It's right here in Waxahachie. If we need any services for the kids, for our family, for anything...they have a fully functional facility right here. I never knew that Farley St. was so close. I once again had the thought "God, you picked us up and planted us right here and what we have been praying for for so long is right at our fingertips (literally)." God has been hearing our prayers.... We told Him the other day that we really wanted another baby...Deidra has been praying consistently now for twins...a brother and a sister....I told God that we were open to whatever He had in store for us. I never thought that just a few days later, we'd be signing up to be foster parents. It'll be exciting to see where this takes us. :-) We're all set to go....I know that it's going to be a lot of hard work and that some of it isn't going to be easy, but I really want a chance to help some children in this world and make a difference. Deidra has such a big heart too and she has really amazed me at some of the concepts that she's been grasping lately. She truly is a gift. She's going to make one awesome big sister.

And she lost her first tooth...

Well, Deidra just came running in the house...she lost her first baby tooth. She's jumping up and down for the tooth fairy to come tonight. She has already put her tooth under her pillow. :-)

My baby is half way done with kindergarten...

I can't believe that Deidra is half way done with kindergarten as of today. A bunch of us moms that helped out with the Christmas party yesterday were talking about where all of our kids were going to go yesterday. Being new to the area, I wasn't sure of which elementary school Deidra would go to. Turns out, that she's going to go to Northside. I guess that this is a very good school and a lot of parents request their children to go here. I looked it up online to read more about it and was pretty impressed with what they offer.

Northside Elementary School
A Texas Education Agency Recognized Campus
Northside is one of the four elementary schools in Waxahachie I.S.D. that provides a strong academic foundation for first through fifth graders. These schools offer Gifted and Talented programs, Academic UIL competition, choir, Science Fair, Accelerated Reader programs, and extended day programs for students. Students participate in Go Van Gogh, an art study in conjunction with the Dallas Museum of Art, and concerts by the Fort Worth Symphony. Students have daily access to computers and internet as well as weekly library sessions, music, art, and physical education. The results speak for themselves—excellent standardized testing scores and attendance rates.
A special education program with diagnostic services for students with special needs
Reading Recovery for at-risk students
A well-rounded elementary music and physical education program using only certified personnel
Active Partners In Education program in conjunction with the Waxahachie Chamber of Commerce
Computers available for teachers and students on all grade levels
Banking at School program in conjunction with Citizens National Bank

Foster-to-Adopt?

Hi Abba. I really thought that you were leading us to adopt from China...and maybe we will at some point. We got news the other day from a friend that China had some upcoming changes (May 2007) to it's requirements to adopt from China. The body mass index had to be at 40 or better. I just sqeeze by with this one. But, the one that I was really worried about since we rent our house was that you had to have combined assets of $80,000. We had been talking about buying our own house, but then we didn't want to really strap us with trying to do the adoption on top of all that too. So, we decided to stay here until our adoption was finalized. With this upcoming change, we'd have to move first to qualify. I had everything confirmd with CCAI that this was really happening and wasn't just rumors. She said if we got our application in by December 31st and got our papers into China by April 13 we'd be grandfathered in under the old rules. Andy and I sat and talked...we'd have to go into debt to make that happen as we'd really have to be on top of things and start now to ensure that we were logged into China by then. As much as we want a baby, Andy's just not comfortable taking on that much debt with the fact that we just got hit with some medical and dental bills that we need to get paid off (that was the original plan anyway that we were going to pay off those before starting the adoption).

A friend at work had told me about one of her friends that became a foster parent of like 10 kids and she adopted 7 of those. She had asked me if we had ever given it any thought. It's something we had talked about a year or two ago, but I've always been afraid to adopt domestically as I think it would be heartbreaking to have to give the kids up if/when that happened. Anyway, I finally thought..."are you going to let fear rule your decision or are you going to step out on faith and go for it...if you do have to give some of them up..yes it's going to hurt, but it's a chance to give them a better life even if it's just for a little while." We were sitting on the couch the other night and I brought it up to Andy and he didn't even have to think twice about it...he wants to do it.

I sent out some inquiries all last night (I couldn't sleep) to some places...one being the Texas Baptist Children's Home (it's right here in Waxahachie) about becoming foster-to-adopt parents. They have training that starts up in January and as long as they have openings we plan on being there.

I kinda told Deidra what was going on a little bit when we sat and looked at the kids in the state system online that were waiting to be adopted. She's all excited, although I don't think she understands 100%. I think we're going to wind up putting bunk beds in Deidra's room and having that being the girl room and we'll put bunk beds in the office and get that geared up to being the boy's room.

The biggest thing that I want to happen is that I want her to be the big sister and continue to be the oldest. We're pretty excited though...and a little nervous too. :-) But, maybe we can plan on adding to our family a little sooner than we thought and it's definitely a chance to give these kids a better and more stable environment.

As for China...we won't totally rule it out...maybe it's something that we can look into again at some point down the road...we'll just have to see where the journey takes us.

Reindeer Food

Well, this is my creation for her class' Christmas party today. I really didn't know what to make since this party is deemed a "no sugar" party. I was going to make it from scratch, but ran out of time since I have to leave in less than an hour and it would have taken me an hour to bake it. I just grabbed a bag of the original Chex mix, a bag of the Cheddar Chex mix, a bag of cheddar gold fish, a bag of holiday m&ms, and a little bottle of green glitter sprinkles and threw it all in a big tupperware container. They have a holiday version of Cocoa Chex Mix with cute christmas shaped pretzels that I almost went with, but since it's supposed to be no sugar, I decided that I'd just get some of that one for home (it's very very good). I kinda cheated throwing in the sprinkles and the m&ms into their mix, but I decided that a little bit wouldn't hurt...I just mainly wanted it to look Christmasy. But, I decided to call it Reindeer Food and this is what Deidra wants me to spread out for the reindeer on Christmas Eve to eat too. Daddy told her that Santa asked for beer instead of milk this year since he needed something good since he was going to be so busy getting all the presents to the kids. lol

C

Deidra had her Christmas pageant today. Her class sang "Douglas Mountain" and they even did all the sign language to it. They were so cute. They had it at the high school's fine arts center as the school is so large that they would have been out of room at their school. She was so excited and the kids were all adorable. I thought I'd attach a pic of her tonight so you could all see her in her Christmas gear. :-) Forgive the blurriness...we didn't have a good digital camera to take the pic with.

9th Day of Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, most favorite child of heaven, to whom Mary gave the Infant Jesus in the day of thy childhood, to whom she sweetly came before thou didst close thine eyes In death, obtain for me I beseech thee, so to seek and love my Blessed Mother during life, that she may be my joy and consolation in this valley of tears, until with thee, before the throne of God, I may praise her goodness for all eternity. Amen.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.
V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

And as a thank you for listening and hearing my prayers, I'll offer up another set of 9 Hail Marys.

Thank you for praying and interceding for me, St. Gerard, and I pray that I will be sharing our good news very soon.

Abba, please give us the blessings of another baby very soon. We thank you for those blessings that you have already given us.

Day 8 of Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, true lover of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar, do thou who didst kneel long hours before the Tabernacle, and there didst taste the joys of the Paradise. Obtain for me, I beseech thee, the spirit of prayer and an undying love for the Most Holy Sacrament, that thus receiving frequently the Body and Blood of Jesus, I may daily grow in His holy love and merit the priceless grace of loving Him even to the end.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.
V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

Abba, I pray that You will hear my prayers and those of St. Gerard and help us to have the baby that we have been wanting for so long. I have always wanted a house full of children. Big families have always fascinated me.

Day 7 of the Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, unconquered hero, most patient in suffering, do thou who didst glory in infirmity, and under slander and most cruel ignominy didst rejoice to suffer with Christ, obtain for me patience and resignation in my sorrows, that I may bravely bear the cross that is to gain for me the crown of everlasting glory.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.
V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

Thank you beautiful, Abba, for coming to us in this Christmas season and giving us the gift of eternal life. We thank you for Your beautiful blessings that you have showered upon us.

Day 6 of the Novena to Saint Gerard

I was supposed to do this yesterday, but with working all day, trying to take care of a sick hubby, talking to my Mom about my brother, and then having to go back to work for a meeting, I never got around to it, but I did ask my Guardian Angel to say my prayers for my novena for me until I had time to say them today.

Saint Gerard, most perfect imitator of Jesus Christ our Redeemer, do thou whose greatest glory was to be humble and lowly, obtain that I too, knowing my littleness in God’s sight, may be found worthy to enter the kingdom that is promised to the humble and lowly of heart.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.
V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

Abba, please help us to have another baby again soon. We so want to add to our family and our open to whatever you have in store for us.

My brother, Zach

Abba, I want to lift my brother up in prayer. I pray that he will come to know You and get his life back on the right path. I pray that you will keep him protected from harm and that You will give Mom some guidance on what to do with him.

Well, he just wrecked his car...hadn't even had it 3 weeks. Said it happened because he was malnourished because Mom doesn't buy the food he likes. Yet, the amzing thing is that he's always eating...they have to hide some things in the house if they want any or he'll eat it all up...he's got a room full of dirty dishes. Mom is pissed and doesn't know what to do with him anymore. He hid it from her for 2 days before he finally came in at 3 am Sunday morning and told her what he did. He had asked her for his GED money that Dad sent and she told him 3 times that it was strictly for his GED and because she had seen that he had the paperwork for it all filled out, she trusted him...nope he spent all that money in less than 24 hours. I think he was drinking and driving, but there's no way to know for sure. He told Mom he was on the backroads driving alone and side swiped a tree while he was trying to learn how to drive his car. Yeah, likely story, when he just drove it all the way to Kansas without telling her where he was going and he was by himself. She told him that he was going to get a job before the end of January and he was going to start paying her room and board and if he wasn't willing to do that, he could find somewhere else to live and by the summer she wanted him in his own place. He threatened suicide if she made him do that and she told him that she'd get the cops involved if she had to and he told her that he's just make the cops take him out as he wasn't going anywhere with them willingly. He also told her that he hates his family and wants nothing to do with them. At this point, I'm tempted to not even give him his Christmas presents. I don't want to reward him for his lack of respect for others. I told Mom I think she needs to drug test him. Something is going on with him. He's even being a butt to his friends and that's totally unlike him. She tried to get him some help and they said that because he's over 18, he's got to be the one to seek help and there's nothing that she can do.

The Corgan Christmas Party

Dear Abba, thanks so much for bringing Andy such a great job and such great people to work with. The party on Friday night at the women's museum was a lot of fun. I think he's truly found his family away from home. It was fun to meet the people that he works with and they're a close bunch, so it will be fun to do things with them. I thought it was cool that 2 of their co-workers got married a couple of years ago and everyone flew to Costa Rica to go to their wedding. Everyone kept coming up to me all night telling me how grateful they were to have Andy up there and for all that he does for them. Even the guys that he works in his dept with were saying that he's fit in so well that they forget to tell him certain things because they just think he's been there forever and already knows. Some of these guys have worked together for 6 years and longer though and they do things with one another's families and go to each other's houses and stuff. So, I think he'll be there for a long while and he'll be quite happy there. It was nice to see him so happy and he loves where he works. I'll share pics a little later if Andy was e-mailed any. We took pics of each other before we left for the party, but we didn't bring the camera with us as everyone had digital cameras checked out. Dinner was really good too...they fed us salmon and chicken and veggies, and salad with mangoes in it, macaroni and cheese and you could add your own mix-ins (ham, cheese, chives, bacon) and they had little dessert bites of various things. It was very good and the bar was stocked with anything you could imagine and that was all free too. We got invited out to the bar afterwards, but we opted not to go as we had a drive ahead of us and I had to work the next day.

Day 5 of Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, model of holy obedience, who through thy life didst heroically submit the judgment to those who represent Jesus Christ to thee, thus sanctifying thy lowliest actions, obtain for me from God cheerful admission to His Holy Will and the virtue of perfect obedience, that I may be made comfortable to Jesus, my Model, who was obedient even to death.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.

V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

Abba, please bless us with the gift to have another baby. Deidra says to tell you that she wants twins. She desperately wants both a baby brother and baby sister. We're open to whatever you will bless us with. :-)

4th Day of Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, spotless lily of purity, by the angelic virtue and thy wonderful innocence of life thou didst receive from the Infant Jesus and His Immaculate Mother, sweet pledges of tenderest love, grant, I beseech thee, that I may ever strive in my life-long fight, and thus win the crown that awaits the brave and the true.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.

V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen. Please bless us with the gift to conceive again and have another baby, Abba. We thank you for all of your blessings that you have given us.

Feast of the Immaculate Conception

I went to mass this morning, Abba, as it was a holy day of obligation. I was so glad that I went. It was so neat to see all the kids from the Catholic school come over and they actually ran part of the mass...they did the readings and the singing. It was absolutely beautiful and it sounded like angels singing when they were singing their songs. What a beautiful mass.

I also want to say thank you for Your blessings and I want to thank Mama Mary for being such a beautiful mother to us and I thank her so much for agreeing to accept God's will in a difficult situation for her and agreeing to be Your mother. What a beautiful gift that she gave the world! I love you, Abba, and I love you too, Mother Mary!

My baby and the grown up questions...

and she's had me really thinking lately. She asked a couple of weeks ago "where was I before I existed?" I thought that she was referring to the birds and the bees talk, but then she added that she knew babies grew in their mommies tummies but where was she before then. I finally came up with the answer that she was a thought in God's mind and she seemed to accept that ok.

Then, the other day she asked me if she could have a sleepover with her friends from school here at the house. I told her that I thought that would be ok and asked her who she wanted to invite as I'm going to have to come up with some clever idea to get the invitations out as they won't let us do it in the classroom or send them home with the kids. Anyway, she told me and a couple of days went by and I told her that maybe I'd bring her down to the enchanted cottage http://www.enchantedcottagetearoom.com/ and let her have a tea party with all the girls. Anyway, she said well, Mom can I have Jon come too? I told her that we were only going to stick with the girls as she wanted it to be a sleepover. The next words out of her mouth just about knocked me over...."Why can't I invite Quinton, Mom, he's my boyfriend." I had to explain to her that she wasn't having sleepovers with boys and how it just wasn't appropriate. I think she understands now and I know that really he's just her friend...they don't get this boyfriend/girlfriend stuff yet. But, it really is cute to watch them when I go up to the school and he's the sweetest little boy...but they hug each other and do stuff in pairs together when they have to find partners and they hold hands every now and then on the playground when they're playing. She liked Jon first at the beginning of the year, but that only lasted a couple of weeks before she moved on to Quinton and Quinton it's been ever since. But, I just can't figure out lately how she's been asking such grown up things lately. She's 6...going on 16. And my Mom said last night when she was commenting on how pretty and grown up she looked in her jean outfit and cowgirl books..."you really better be careful, she looks like she does now...watch out when she gets a little older." I told her "don't think that hasn't crossed my mind." Even the guys that I work with up at Home Depot have commented to me on how beautiful she is and what a gift from God she is." I keep telling me "yeah, ask me if I still think her beauty is a gift when she's in her teens and the guys are lining up at the door." lol

Christmas Party

I'm so excited about tonight. Andy's work is having their annual Christmas party. They're having a big shindig for dinner at 8 pm and then the party is down at the women's museum downtown with a full open bar. It's semi-formal and I already have what I'm wearing picked out. Now to track down my jewelry from Deidra (she always gets into my jewelry box). Went to Mom's last night and she gave me some new samples that were out for Mary Kay and I'm going to wear new colors tonight too. Deidra is going to Grandma's after school and they're going to go watch The Polar Express up at her school and then go to Bethlehem Revisited afterwards. I want to go sometime too, but I don't think I'm going to be able to go this year due to work. They reinvent the times of the birth of Jesus and they have crafts from that time period and stuff. Now, to just figure out what I'm going to do with my hair. ;-)

I pray for safety for all of us tonight being out on the roads and I pray that we all have a lot of fun.

Our hot dog vendor passed away...

Father, we found out at work today that our hot dog vendor passed away this week. She was pregnant and there were complications with the birth and both her and her baby passed away. She has a teenage daughter and I want to pray for her and the father that You'll bring them some peace and comfort during this difficult time. What a horrible thing to happen, especially right before Christmas. I lift up the family and friends to You in prayer as well.

3rd Day of Novena to St. Gerard

Saint Gerard, bright seraph of love, who despising all earthly love, didst consecrate thy life to the service of God and thy neighbor, promoting God’s glory in thy lowly state, and ever ready to assist the distressed and console the sorrowful, obtain for me, I beseech thee, that loving God the only God and my neighbor for His sake, I may be hereafter united to Him for ever in glory.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.
V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

What a sweet daughter I have been given...

Oh Abba, my sweet little girl is starting to do such sweet and thoughtful things. She has such a big heart. Please shower her with Your blessings. She just went and pulled one of my big china plates down and opened up some snowman cakes and gingerbread men and put 2 of each on the plate. She brought it to me and said that she was sharing and was giving me 1 of each. What a sweet thing to do. Thank you, Abba, for my sweet little girl.

Day 2 of Novena to Saint Gerard

Saint Gerard, most generous saint, who from thy tenderest years didst care so little for the goods of earth, grant that I may place all my confidence in Jesus Christ alone, my true Treasure, who alone can make me happy in time and in eternity.

Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.

V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

Abba, please give us the baby that we have so desperately been wanting and give Deidra the gift of being a big sister as well. We love you and thank You for Your blessings upon us. St. Gerard we thank you for your prayers and intercession.

It's beginning to look a lot like...

summer?...oh wait...it's Christmastime. It's warm outside again, but I'm trying to get into the Christmas spirit. We put up our tree over the weekend and the weather was cold so that helped and now today it's started to warm up again to the 60s. This warm weather stuff in December is so weird to get used to. Today, I decided that I was going to start wrapping some gifts and getting ready. I turned the radio on to some Christmas tunes, made some hot chocolate, and started wrapping. I made a small dent in things before I had to go get Deidra from school. I need to wrap some more tonight so I can get the packages that are going up north ready to be shipped out.

Day 1 of Novena to St. Gerard

Saint Gerard, ever full of faith obtain for me that , believing firmly all that the Church of God proposes to my belief, I may strive to secure through a holy life the joys of eternal happiness.
Then say Nine Hail Marys, with the following Versicle and Prayer.V. Pray for us, O Saint Gerard.R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.

Let us Pray
O Almighty and everlasting God, who didst draw to thyself Saint Gerard, even from his tenderest years, making him conformable to the Image of Thy Crucified Son, grant we beseech Thee, that imitating his example, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

O good Saint Gerard, powerful intercessor before God and Wonderworker of our day, I call upon thee and seek thy aid. Thou who on earth didst always fulfill God’s designs, help me to do the holy Will of God. Beseech the Master of Life, from Whom all paternity proceedeth, to render me fruitful in offspring, that I may raise up children to God in this life and heirs to the Kingdom of His Glory in the world to come. Amen.

A Christmas Present from Above?

I got to talking with a friend of mine from INCIID awhile back. We both struggled with infertility and got pregnant around the same time with both of our girls. Someone had told me back then about Saint Gerard being the patron saint of those who were trying to get pregnant. I went online and ordered two medals and gave one to her. It was just a couple of months later that we both announced our pregnancies. She said that she has hers hung in her kitchen and everytime she sees it she smiles and thinks about me. She went on to have twins and then they just adopted a little girl from China as well last year. I stumbled upon the website http://saintgerard.com/ sometime in the beginning of the summer and had requested a free medal that was blessed. It's been so long ago that I had forgotten all about it...until yesterday when it came in the mail along with the poem (before you were conceived I wanted you...). It has been my prayer that I just want to have another baby...naturally or adopted...and I was certainly open to both. I took this as a sign that it's meant to be and that it was a Christmas present from above. :-)