Just an update on the kids....

Deidra is still struggling with math and reading at school. Going to email her teacher and see if they want her to attend flex days to see if that would help her with some more one-on-one. I know she's getting bored with school, but I just want her to work on things and we'll work on stuff over the summer too. A troubled girl pushed her into a wall last week at school and left a goose egg on her head. The girl hasn't been back at school and now Deidra is worried about her. Deidra is a lot like me with her empathy, but I told her that she needs to be careful with it too as people take advantage of that and hurt you over and over again when you care more about other people than you worry about yourself. It does make me proud of her though to see her have that trait.

Emily is still developing her reading and writing skills so she is going to attend flex days. I'm curious to see how she did on her testing. The teacher said she had her reading up to par to pass kindergarten. I know that she's doing better, but I still have my doubts as when we go over her sight words, sometimes she just has the words memorized and she'll look at the beginning sound and she guesses and it's wrong. It's one of her words, but not that specific word that she is looking at. We have a lot of work to do over the summer. I still am quandering about whether it would be better to homeschool her, but Andy has his doubts and so I am praying about it. Otherwise, she is doing really well. She helped me make dinner last night and she really enjoyed being able to help. She likes being a big helper. She's turning into quite the little sweatheart. :-)

Josiah has been having a hard time. He does not like being told what to do or that he can't do something or being redirected. Time ins with him are difficult as he fights me a lot, yesterday he kicked me in the stomach when I tried to sit him back down on his bed. He spent 2 hours in his room yesterday morning, because he wouldn't quit acting ugly, screaming at me, kicking the walls, throwing things, coming out of his room and trying to come downstairs...every time he acted up, he got 5 minutes added. Finally after 2 hours, he was able to come down and eat his breakfast and then I put him to work cleaning. He got out of school and acted up majorly at the eye doctor and threw a huge fit in the car over not being able to go to a restaurant to eat and so I came home and put him back in his room. He came down to eat his dinner and then we put him to bed. His favorite words lately are "NO!" "I'm not very happy." "I'm mad at you!" "I hate being in time out!" He still struggles with the concept that it's his actions that are getting him in trouble. He wants to point the finger at me and blame me. He wants what he wants and he wants it now. Lots of power struggles going on with him. He is very smart and is learning well at school. He is spelling words, trying to sound words out, and writing his letters and numbers.

Tracie is still whining a lot. She'd rather cry when she asks for things, than use her big girl words. And she's trying to pull some of the things that Josiah does when she doesn't get her way. She throws herself on the floor when she doesn't get what she wants or when she is told to go to time out. And she'll say "I forgot how to get up or where the time out corner is." So, then I'll go take her by the hand and make her get up and redirect her to where she needs to go and she throws an utter screaming fit the whole time. I need to make her an appt with the pediatrician. I was talking with her occupational therapist to ask their opinion if she has a learning disorder. She is still having trouble remembering things she's been taught, shapes and colors are there some days and others she gets them mixed up. You give her dinner and she says she wants more and you ask her what she wants more of and she says "I don't know" and will start crying because she doesn't know what it is. She has a very quirky memory and I worry now that she's going to start school and I want what's best for her. She shuts down when things get hard for her and I just don't want her to run into troubles with school. She's a litlte sweetheart and likes to nurture.

Melina is learning so much. She cruises along the furniture and stand on her own. She just got her 5th tooth. She loves to talk on her little phone and she'll put it over her shoulder and say "hi." She's learning how to open cabinets and she's been getting into the books and Daddy's computer. It amazes me to watch her play and how busy she stays just learning how everything works. She is such a joy. We all just love her to pieces. She is getting a little temper since Tracie spends the day taking toys from her and she screams to let her know she is mad and wants it back. Or Tracie will walk behind her and pick her up and that will make her mad too. I keep trying to tell her that Melina isn't a doll and that she can do things for herself. Melina is a little sweetheart and boy does she love her sisters and her brother. She hugs them and follows them all over and giggles and giggles at the things that they do. She's so funny. She brings a lot of joy to this house...even our OT said "I think the baby did a lot of good...the kids are behaving better with her here too..." I told her that we still have a ways to go, but the baby has been a huge blessing and I'm glad that the kids love her so much too and she certainly loves all of them.

We've been doing a lot of holding time for a little over a month now. The girls do ok with it...Emma's had a couple of times where she's hated it. But, she also had a huge breakthrough with it one night. She refused to drink her milk one day when she needed to take her pill. Taking her pill isn't an option as she gets in a lot of trouble without it in school and at home. She finally wound up telling me that she wanted it in a bottle. I wasn't going to fight her on it...a lot of attachment therapy is taking them back to their babyhood and letting them experience things that they missed out on. I put what was in her cup in a baby bottle, sat on the couch with her and fed her. She sat for 30-40 minutes in my lap with me just cradling her and she drank the milk out of the bottle. She loved that she got to be a baby for a little while and she told my Mom about it the next day. My Mom asked her if she liked that and she said yes. MOm didn't know what was going on and I had a conversation with her about it a little later and Mom thought that was awesome and it was so good for Emmy. She told me that we are so good at this stuff and I told her a lot of prayer has gone into all of this. It's all with God's graces. Josiah still is fighting me a lot when it's time for his holding time. He hates it when he's in trouble and will pinch me, pull my hair, hit me, try to bump me in the head with his head, kicks at me, whatever he can think of. He doesn't have a problem to come sit on my lap when it's all good, but when he's being made to do it because of bad behavior he majorly fights me. Tracie does ok with it, but she likes to scream and cry and fidget and she hears Josiah say that I'm hurting him while he does his, so she's been trying to pull that route lately to see if it gets her out of it. I don't let them out until they've calmed down so we just sit as long as they need me to sit there. Sometimes things that I need to get done get put on the backburner, but the kids are more worth it than anything else so it's all good.

Blessings

Things are going so much better lately. We are still doing the time-ins, but one thing we started doing in addition to our daily devotion each morning is that I've started to go around to each child and ask them for something that they want to ask God for help with. I pray with and over each child and cover them in prayer and I am finding that with God's graces the days are going a little easier. We still have our trials and hard days, but I find that God is giving us help with them and it's getting us all through easier. All in the glory of God!

Lost my temper... AFP Day 25

I yelled for the first time in a long time. Josiah has been really struggling and is constantly putting his feet and legs all over the girls. It's like he gets bored, so he's gotta go push people's buttons or something. He's getting into the Christmas tree this morning and then when I told him to go watch tv as we were going to get dressed and go to the grocery store and then he's gotta go get in Tracie's face and put his feet all over her arms and her stomach. I told him to get his feet off of her nad he just looked at me and kept doing it. When I got up, he took off trying to run away from me. I went and took him by the hand and led him over to the time-in spot and the whole time he was in my lap, he's picking at my pants, shirt, arching his back, tightening his butt muscles, trying to throw himself forward. The whole time I kept telling myself "don't say anything, don't say anything." He finally whipped his head back and it caught my chin and he started turning his head back and forth to rub his head all over my chin and I yelled at him. I just don't understand why he's got to be such a button pusher. My therapist says "everything he does has gotta be over the top." I wish he'd use that skill at something productive. UGH! He's going to be 5 in 4 months...I just wish he'd outgrow some of these behaviors.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 22

Things are still going ok. Tracie's been a bit more naughtier than usual and letting Josiah influence her. Josiah's been into the Christmas lights and I'm chasing him out of them left and right. Lots of talks about safety and how we don't touch the electrical plugs and outlets or plug things in as that can HURT people. Our plugs are supposed to have some kind of safety feature where you can't get electrocuted, but I'm not relying on that and want to teach him safety. Came walking around the corner to find Emma and Josiah plugging tug of war with a string of lights that was supposed to be wrapped around the window frame. After yet another talk about safety, it wasn't a full two minutes later than Emma was right back over there trying to fix it while I was tending to the baby. I finally told them if they bothered it again, I was taking them down...maybe they're just not ready for something like this. They finally quit.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Days 18-21

Things are going well. The time-ins are getting less and less. I'm happy with the way that things are going. Still working on certain things, but things are going in the right direction. I think we have stumbled upon something good. It is a pain to have to go and sit with them when they do something wrong as it means that I have to stop working on what I am working on. But, it is working. Josiah had one really bad meltdown one day where he threw a major fit in my lap for 40 minutes. That was hard. That's the first big fit that he's thrown like that in a long time, but we worked threw it and I just sat and held him. Of course, he turns on the drama when I hold him in time in and he's constantly yelling that he can't breathe or that he's hurt or that I won't let him out. I'm not holding him any differently than when they ask to sit on my lap during the day time so it's not like I'm hurting him in any way shape or form. It's all drama on his part. We just sit there until he can calm down and then we can talk about what happened.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 17

6:50-7:30 am Josiah getting into Tracie's room and testing the rules every couple of minutes

8:30 am Josiah running around with a tote of toys zooming them all in the air

8:45 am Josiah not getting dressed after a couple of reminders of what he needed to be doing

9:30 am Josiah I had gotten Chick-Fil-A for breakfast and he had already eaten, but I told him he could have some of my hashbrowns as his morning snack as I just wanted my drink and my sandwich. We got home and I took about 10 hashbrowns out of my large order for myself and gave him the rest and he pitched a fit and said "that's all I get?" We had a talk about being grateful for what we are given and having a positive attitude.

4:00 pm Emily tripping Deidra and making her fall and refusing to apologize

4:10 pm Deidra, Emily, Tracie, and Josiah for being extremely rude and loud while I was on the phone with the psychiatrist about Josiah. We had a huge talk about how we behave when Mom's on the phone, especially with the doctor.

4:20 pm Deidra, Emily, Tracie, and Josiah all had great days at school and got to pick from the reward jar. Emily got to stay up late. Tracie got to pick a tv show. Josiah got story time. Deidra gets to have a friend spend the night.

5:30 pm Emily wouldn't calm down and wouldn't play nicely with Tracie and Josiah

Attachment Focused Parenting Day 16

8:05 am Josiah wouldn't stop running his car on the entertainment center after I asked him to do it on the floor instead so he didn't scratch the wood

8:35 am Josiah climbing up cupboards and countertops while I brought Melina upstairs for her morning nap

3:45 pm Deidra, Josiah, Tracie will get ice cream after dinner for great days at school. Emily will miss out for bad behavior for the substitute teacher after computer time.

4:10 pm Josiah and Tracie running in the house after being asked to stop

4:20 pm Josiah and Tracie running in the house. Josiah did wind up getting 1 swat before his time-in for not coming to me when I told him to.

4:40 pm Josiah and Tracie someone knocked my pictures down in the playroom and wanted to blame the other person for who did it. We sat in time-in for 8 minutes before Tracie finally told me that she did it. I knew from her tears that she was the guilty party, but she still wanted to keep saying that Josiah did it. She had to apologize to Josiah for lying and getting him in trouble and then she had to sit and talk with me about the fact that she's not going to get in trouble if she does something accidentally and needs help to fix it. But, she is going to get in trouble for lying or trying to get her siblings in trouble for something that she did. She apologized.

5:10 pm Josiah shut the bathroom door on Emily when she was trying to come out of the bathroom and shut her hand in the door

Attachment Focused Parenting--Days 13 and 14

I didn't log all their behavior, but a few things stand out.

Saturday, they had a really hard time playing nicely and needed a lot of redirection to stay on task when given small things to do...getting dressed that sort of thing. We did notice that Josiah's medication helped and he was a lot less agressive than what he had been, so that was definitely a big improvement and a positive change.

Sunday, Josiah's Sunday school teacher met Andy at the door complaining that she didn't know what had gotten into Josiah, but he wouldn't listen or cooperate and couldn't do anythign right that day. Class is only for 45 minutes, so that shocked me. The teacher's son is ADHD as well, so she's normally used to him being all over the place. So, that leads me to believe that he really must have been all over and not focusing on anything. Emily said her prayer that she was supposed to learn and earned a prayer card that she was very proud about. I could tell that even in church, she was really trying to sit nicely and not get fidgety and I was very proud of how well that she was doing.

I notice that the littles really struggle with being given direction...they want to argue their point of view when it's not appropriate and they think that they need to have the last word. Josiah and Emily do it moreso than Tracie, but I see Tracie trying her hand at it as well. We tell them once why they need to do it and then we give them time to do it while we walk away. We come back a few minutes later to see if they're doing it or not and if not they get a time-in and then we sit and talk about what happened and why it's important to listen.

I'm still trying to come up with something effective to help out with all the micromanaging that they think that they need to do with one another. I can't have a conversation with someone without them all thinking that they need to have input on the matter, even if it's something that doesn't concern them. I've been trying to remind them that I am talking to ___ and that this is between Mommy and ____ and that Mommy can handle it. This will start an argument on the other end and I will redirect them and say "just say, ok Mommy." Then, I try to distract them with something else.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 12

7-7:30 am Josiah lots of redirection back to his room...met with lots of testing and defiance

9:15-10 am Josiah lots of energy and jumping all over the place...lots of reminding from Mommy that he needed to slow down and be careful

10:30 am Josiah had to chase him all over the house and from behind the furniture to do time out for not listening because he wouldn't quit jumping on the furniture and when I told him to get down he just looked at me and kept jumping. I told him he was getting a time-in and he hid behind the chair and I was trying to get him one way and he was running the opposite direction and then we played the same game around the kitchen table and then I had to chase him into a corner of the playroom before I could take him by the hand and take him to the time-in spot.

11:00 am Josiah I let him get a sucker at the doctor's office since he behaved very well while I took Melina in to see the pediatrician

3:45 pm Emily she got a warning at school that she tried to scribble out and she lied about what happened. I called her teacher and got the scoop and we talked about her behaviors lately. I also told her what we were doing at home to try and reinforce good behavior at school (reward jar).

4:00 pm Deidra, Josiah, and Tracie they had great days at school so they got to draw from the reward jar. Deidra got a meal with Daddy (restaurant). Josiah got to pick a tv show. Tracie got to pick a movie for family movie night.

4:15 pm Josiah jumping all over Tracie

4:20 pm Emily getting into stuff and trying to get Josiah to do it too

4:35 pm Emily and Josiah Josiah snatched her toy out of her hands and Emily grabbed his arm and bent it backwards really hard

5:15 pm Emily and Josiah Emily told Josiah to spray the bottle of baby formula that was sitting on the floor all over the side of the couch and the floor. They both had to help me clean it up.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 11

7-7:30 am Josiah lots of redirection back to his room...met with constant testing and defiance

7:30 am Josiah moving as slow as possible to get ready for breakfast and acting up

8:00 am Josiah while I was coming downstairs he was reaching for Daddy's flashlight which was standing up on the counter. I said "don't touch that." He knocked it over and sent dishes crashing off of the counter.

8:10 am Josiah burping repeatedly after being asked to stop and then running from me when I asked him to come to me

9:00 am Josiah jumping on the furniture

3:00 pm Josiah pushing a friend down really hard at school

3:45 pm Deidra, Tracie, and Emily all got star stamps at school for a good day so they got to draw from the reward jar. Deidra got to stay up late. Tracie got to pick our dinner meal. Emily got story time with Daddy.

5:40 pm Josiah throwing toys because they didn't work at the walls and at his sisters

6:40 pm Josiah splashing water all over the girls when they were trying to wash up...Josiah was not supposed to be in the bathroom at the time.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 9

I didn't log today either. Thankfully the day went much better. The kids were much more cooperative. I only had to put Josiah in time in a couple of times in the morning for not playing nicely with Tracie. Josiah and Emily had great days at school. I was able to talk with Emily's teacher and she told me "Please don't ever apologize for Emily's behavior. You are an awesome Mom. She's testing her boundaries and we will get through this." We did agree that if she wants to continue to get warnings on a daily basis...we would excuse the first one and write that up to a bad day...if it happens again, she will miss out on recess until she pulls her behavior back in check. If she ever has a day like she had the other day where she's just doing stuff left and right, she will follow through with a visit to the principal. I told her that she can't threaten to do something and then not do it and if Emily wants to keep behaving badly and then asks when she can go to the office that the teacher needs to send her. Emily needs to learn that behaving that way is not acceptable. I did give her a small reward for good behavior at school. She did get a bad attitude with her siblings later that required me to do a couple of time ins with her for until she got over it as she wouldn't ask nicely for things and just wanted to point, throw a fit, and try to grab for it even after the first time in. So, she sat on my lap for awhile longer and then she tried again. It actually took one more time before she got it right, but we got there and that's all that matters. :-) Tracie only got one time in today for not staying out of stuff that she wasn't supposed to be into. Overall, it was a much better day.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 8

I don't have a log of today, but I will say that it was a very rough day. Josiah got up and was like a tornado all over the place. Didn't like something and he was kicking the walls or the floor, jumping all over Tracie, taking everything from Tracie, the minute Tracie went to play with something and was content he was right on top of her trying to push her buttons and he would not stop talking and yelling everything. He had occupational therapy and that provided a nice little break for me. Did some puzzles with Tracie while he was in therapy. She did a great job...sometimes she really struggles with them. :-) Took Josiah to school while Tracie did her occupational therapy. We talked about being nice to our friends, listening to his teacher, eating nicely in the lunchroom, and he was excited to go. Came home and had some quiet time while Melina napped and Tracie laid on the couch and fell asleep. Decided to read for awhile and spend some time in prayer. Just as school let out, I got a call from the school nurse about Deidra complaining that her throat hurt and she said her throat still looked really red. She's still on her antibiotics, but I said that I'd put in a call to the doctor to see if she needed different ones or not.

After school, it became utter chaos. Ran and got Josiah from school and he started in on acting up right away. Didn't want to get his seatbelt on, had to pull over on the side of the road until he decided to cooperate. Then, he started screeching and pulling on his seatbelt and messing around in the car seat. Had to run to the pharmacy and they didn't have enough to fill a presciption. More screeching and more acting up and he got the baby upset. Ran home to get Emily off the bus. She said that she only listened for a little bit at school. Had to go get Deidra from choir. Josiah and Emily started acting up in the car. Screeching, trying to get out of their car seats, talking and yelling nonstop and trying to get into each other's spaces. They upset the baby again. I had to pull over and climb into the back to set them both straight. Ran to a different pharmacy to see about getting Josiah's meds filled and on the way we got stopped for 10 minutes by a train. Baby screamed the entire time and Josiah and Emily just wouldn't stop their antics. Thankfully, the pharmacy filled it for me on the spot.

Got home to a call from Andy. Emily's teacher had called him as her behavior at school was so bad. She hadn't ever seen her act like that before. Wouldn't stop rolling around on the floor, didn't get any of her work done, was a total distraction to the class, the teacher threatened that if she didn't start behaving that she would have to go to the office to see the principal. They went to specials and came back to class and Emily says "ok, when am I going to the office?" The teacher didn't send her because she didn't know how Emily was going to act in there. Well, that upset me as what message does that send? You ahve to follow through with what you're saying you're going to do. She wanted Andy to have me email her. So, I did. I told her that if she's going to act up like this at school (her behavior all month has been atrocious anyway), she can start missing recess and if she acts up really bad that she just doesn't need to be threatened with going to the principal..the teacher needs to send her there. I keep trying to get a feel for her behavior on a daily basis in the classroom, so I can see if they think her meds need to be adjusted or if it's just a one time thing that she does to get a warning each day. But, yesterday she made it to red and she should have been on blue. I'm not getting any replies from the teacher and this is the 3rd or 4th time that I've tried to ask. So, I guess tomorrow I'm going to have to see about getting a conference with the teacher so I can get some answers to what all ahs been going on this month and what all Emily has been doing so I have the information that I need to go to the doctors.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 7

We just had a lazy day and I didn't log anything. Josiah and Emily are really still struggling with listening and following directions. Very oppositional. Tracie's doing ok...wish I just knew how to handle her constant whining. She gets better and then backslides...it's been ongoing since she came to our house. Hoping this book will help with that too.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 6

all the kids had issues with staying in their rooms and wanted to be up early.

7:30 am Josiah eating poorly and making a big old mess because he had to keep raising his bowl full of milk up in the air and then didn't want to clean up his mess or eat correctly

7:50 am Josiah snatching toys from the girls

8:00 am Emily calling people idiots

9:20 am Emily wouldn't eat and trying to make herself gag to get out of eating. I wound up feeding her.

9:30 am Emily laughing about her punishment

The morning was rough, but they were excited about their baptisms that afternoon. The rest of the day went ok. I'll put baptism pics up too. They looked so beautiful/handsome and were so sweet.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 5

7:05 am Josiah not staying in his room
7:15 am Josiah not staying in his room
7:25 am Josiah not staying in his room
7:30 am Emily not staying in her room
8:05 am Josiah, Emily, and Tracie rolling and flipping and jumping by Melina even after a warning that they were too close to the baby
8:55 am Tracie putting feet on the entertainment center and kicking the glass
9:05 am Emily flat out didn't listen when I told her no and went about what she wanted to do and told me that's just how it was going to be
9:30 am Emily getting into Deidra's watch again
10:05 am Josiah opening and closing the bathroom door on Emily
10:10 am Emily ignoring my redirection
4:00 pm Josiah bad temper tantrum over Emma going to friend's house with Deidra for playdate
5:00 pm Emily had a bad playdate. She was yelling at her friend, taking toys from her, made her cry, using bad language, barking orders at her friend and being mean. She will not be going next time.
7:00 pm Josiah We noticed just after he had been in the kitchen that there was a bunch of water in the cheesecake that we had left on the counter as we hadn't put it back in the fridge and there were finger holes all in it. He had just gone in the kitchen to get a drink of water. He admitted to doing it.

Attachment Focused Parenting--Day 4

6:30 am Josiah not staying in his room

6:50 am Josiah not staying in his room

7 am Josiah trying to sneak into the girls' room to wake them up

7:50 am Emily and Tracie getting into stuff by the computers

8 am Josiah hitting Tracie

9:30 am Tracie kicking the glass on the entertainment center

10:05 am Emily hitting Josiah

11:00 am Josiah jumping all over the girls while they were watching tv

11:30 am Josiah jumping all over the girls

11:55 am Emily not sharing and talking ugly

7:10 pm Emily took Deidra's watch that didn't belong to her and when Josiah saw her and told on her, she lied about having it and then said she knew where it was. She crawled all over the kitchen floor and when we asked her again if she knew where it was she said that she couldn't find it. Finally, we searched her and found that she had shoved it down her pants. This is becoming a huge problem at school...if she wants something she just takes it and hides it. She's fast too so alot of times nobody really sees her. We keep talking to her about it, yet it's not sinking in.

Andy and I have both been doing really good about trying to be patient, being empathetic, and trying not to lose our tempers. Things have been going well, but Andy did raise his voice when Emily got caught with the watch. This time in thing is hard...the girls tolerate it alot better than Josiah does. Josiah is still trying to push any buttons that he can...he's pinching me, squeeling, trying to get out of my arms, whatever button he can try to push. I keep telling myself that we're just starting this, so it may get worse before it gets better.

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 3

This was a very trying day for me...but I made it through with God's grace and I didn't lose my temper. I had a day of cleaning and baking planned and I made something with each of the kids. Josiah and I made cinnamon apple chex mix. I made sugar cookies with Emma and Tracie...Emma got to make snowmen and Tracie got to make reindeer.

7:25 am Emma and Josiah TI wouldn't stay in their rooms

7:50 am Josiah TI he asked to get down from the table and then knocked his cup and bowl and everything all over and kept doing it repeatedly and then asking over and over where to put them and where they needed to go and the whole time I kept telling him to put them in the sink and he'd just knock them down or drop them purposely on the floor

8 am Emma TI took Deidra's Nintendo DS without permission and took it into the bathroom where she knows no toys are allowed

8:20 am Tracie drew all over the furniture and refused to clean it up when asked

8:25 am Josiah put his feet in Emma's face even after she asked him to stop

9:05 am Emma drew on the furniture

1 pm Josiah took scissors to my candles on the table while he knew that I was sidetracked with signing papers for the speech therapist

1:15 pm Josiah I was outside getting Christmas presents put in the garage by the Fex-Ex man and I had told the kids to stay in the house with Deidra. He ran screeching and giggling outside not once but twice in the 3 minutes I was outside with Deidra running after him.

1:30 pm Josiah wouldn't quit throwing toys all over Deidra while she was trying to rest on the couch

2:40 pm Tracie she got into Deidra's water bottle and was drinking it in the living room (her cup was on the counter in the kitchen where she had total access to it and she knows that no food or drink go out of the kitchen)

3:15 pm Josiah taking things from Emma and talking mean

3:20 pm Emma and Tracie for lying and hitting each other

4 pm Emma and Tracie wouldnt' stay out of stuff while I was trying to finish up baking

4:30 pm Emma bad attitude over having to wait to eat cookies

5:05 pm Emma got into Josiah and Deidra's rooms and took stuff without permission

5:15 pm Josiah was supposed to be cleaning up toys in the playroom and was getting into stuff in the kitchen instead

5:40 pm Josiah got mad at Emma over toy and told her that he hated her

5:45 pm Josiah jumping on the furniture

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 2

8:05 am Josiah TI being too loud and refused to be quiet when asked

8:10 am Josiah TI wouldn't quit spitting after being told to stop

3:45 pm Josiah TI big fit over having to wait a few minutes for his snack

4:00 pm Emma and Josiah TI trying to open and shut the bathroom door on Tracie

4:20 pm Emma and Josiah TI putting hands on each other and lying about it to try to get each other in trouble

5:00 pm Josiah TI talking ugly and wouldn't stop

5:05 pm Emma TI wouldn't stop doing puzzle to go clean up her bathroom mess

5:10 pm Tracie TI pushing Josiah

Attachment-Focused Parenting Day 1 Part 2

I decided to track behaviors again so that I can see if things get worse or get better. I definitely see that Josiah cannot stand to be put in a time-in. I set them in my lap and put my arms across their chest or abdomen. With him, I'm having to make sure his hands are within my arms or he's started trying to pinch me and do anything he can to push my buttons to get me to react. I don't talk to them when they're in my lap, I just hold them and if they're crying I lightly rub their backs. When our time is up, then I stand them up while I'm sitting on the floor, I hold hands with them, get eye contact, and then I talk to them about what happened and what they're feeling, they get plenty of empathy, and we talk about the rules as well. The girls are responding really well so far to it, but Josiah is trying anything and eveyrthing that he can...he'll scream "ow, you're hurting me, my tummy hurts, I have to go potty," just anything and everything that he can think of. Emma even went so far to tell him "will you be quiet? mommy isn't hurting you, she's just holding you." I had to stifle a chuckle. I have to redirect them to another room though or they will stand there and make comment after comment trying to micromanage each other. I have to keep reminding them that I will parent them or Daddy will, but that they don't have to parent each other. Anyway, I'm going to start blogging about our time ins and who's getting it and for what just so that I can see if it's getting better or worse.

8 am Josiah TI as he wouldn't quit bugging Deidra when she was sick and trying to rest

8:15 am Josiah TI for not wanting to sit quietly and he was constantly testing me (where do I sit? right here? he'd get up and move...right here?...finally he threw himself on the floor...then got up and ran behind where he was supposed to be sitting even though I was giving him clear instructions the whole time)

9 am Josiah TI not leaving the foot stool on the recliner alone even though they know they're not supposed to have it out of the chair

10:45 am Josiah TI getting into stuff in Mommy and Daddy's bathroom when he was supposed to be emptying the trash

12:15 pm Tracie TI getting into stuff in the pantry that was supposed to be in time out (toys)

4:25 pm Emma and Josiah TI not being quiet when asked

4:30 pm Tracie TI wouldn't give Emma some space like Emma asked her to

4:40 pm Emma TI lying to get Tracie in trouble

6:00 pm Emma TI wouldn't leave the light switches alone