Emma and boys

I'm starting to worry about my Emmy, dear Abba. She is always talking about how she needs a boyfriend and he's going to sleep in her room. I keep telling her that she's too young to have a boyfriend and that no boys will be in her room. She keeps asking Andy and I why we got married. I don't think she really understands what she's asking and she went through a phase where she kept saying that Daddy needed a girlfriend and that he needed to kiss her. We just keep telling her that once you're married you don't have girlfriends and boyfriends anymore...you can have friends, but that's what they stay and you don't kiss them. She's really been having some behavioral issues at school (she's gotten 2 green stars in the 7 days that we've had school and the other 5 days she's come home with warnings and time outs that she's had to do). Yesterday, Deidra informed me that Emma had kissed a boy in the gym and that all of Deidra's friends were making fun of Deidra for it. Emma struggles with boundaries and what is appropriate so we had a talk with her that we don't kiss other kids that are not in our family and that we keep our hands and feet and body parts to ourselves. She thinks it's funny. I just really worry sometimes about what she's seen as a little girl as her birthmom had different boyfriends and had babies with different people too. It's amazing that she came to us at 3, but she already has a sense that it's ok to do that. She's just worrying me a bit. I know it's normal to some extent to do the whole boy thing and be boy crazy, I just thought it would come later than this. Deidra is just now getting into this at 9 almost 10 and Emma just turned 5 this summer. Wow!

Had a wonderful time!

We left around 8:00 on Friday and headed to Austin. We went and hung out at 6th street and seeing all the young people made us feel old. We drank a margarita at the Iron Cactus and just people watched. Some guy came up and blew us all kisses through the window and we just busted out laughing. Had fun laughing at all the outfits (or lack of coverage) that the girls were wearing and how everyone couldn't seem to walk with their high heels on. We saw some drunks who could barely walk and we just talked and had some laughs. Not our crowd really at all, but it was funny. Think we got back to our hotel (The Sheraton)around 2 am and went to bed. Andy woke me up around 6:30 or 7 the next morning with an update with how the kids were doing. Meshawn and I went down and got some breakfast and sat outside. It was fun talking and getting to know her better. We went upstairs once Julie and Amy were up and we got ready to head to San Antonio. We ate lunch at CiCi's and shopped at Big Lots on the way down. Once we got to San Antonio, we stayed at the Drury Inn on the Riverwalk and the room was really nice. We walked on the Riverwalk and took the bus down to the Marketplace. We all got Pina Coladas and shopped. We went back to our room and just talked and shared stories for awhile and had a good time just relaxing. We went back down the Marketplace for dinner and ate Las Margaritas. It was slow to get seated, but once we got our food it was good. We walked back to our room and watched some tv and talked some more before we headed to bed. Sunday, we got up and Meshawn and I went down and got breakfast while Amy and Julie got ready. We checked out and headed to San Marcos to shop at the outlets. Meshawn took us to get lunch at Centerpointe at an antique store that had really good burgers. We even saw some $400 flip flops (no joke). It was crazy! Got the kids all some new outfits at Ross, Carters, and Osh Kosh. I even got myself a couple new tops at Ross. I didn't find anything for Andy, although it wasn't for lack of trying. We got home around 8ish and I went and said good night to the kids and showed Deidra her new jeans and shirt that I got for her. She was excited. Of course, I had to shower Melina with hugs and kisses. I missed her so much. Andy sent me a picture of her while we were driving home of her smiling and it made me tear up in the car...I really missed her. I rocked her to sleep last night and enjoyed cuddling with her. I got up with her last night to feed her and I laid her down with me, I just wanted to cuddle her. Everyone enjoyed their surprises that Mommy brought home for them. :-) Mommy came home nice and relaxed. It did me good to get that break and to have some "girl" time. We're already trying to figure out where we want to go next. Thank you, Lord, for bringing me some friends and for giving me this weekend to get to know them better and to relax.

Going to Austin and San Antonio for the weekend!

I got invited to go to Austin and San Antonio for the weekend with some friends that I met while fostering. I'm so excited to go. Andy will be here with the kids. It will be good to get away for awhile, but I'm going to miss my baby girl. This is the first time I've left her for more than just a couple of hours. I know that she is in good hands though.

Emmy

Lord, I lift my Emmy up to you in prayer today. I pray that you will be with her at school today and that you will help her make good choices and to listen to her teacher. I know that she really struggles with rules and so forth, but please be with her and help her stay on green today. She did it the first day so I am confident that she can do it again. :-)

Urgent Care Visit for Me

I went in because I was having bladder infection symptoms. She asked me how my sugars were and I told her that I hadn't tested them in a few days, but I had been eating more carbs than I normally do so I wouldn't be surprised if I was a little high. She said that they found sugar in my urine, that's why she was asking. Her nurse came in and spot checked me and I was 294. I hadn't been that high since they found out during my first hospital admission with Melina that I had gestational diabetes. She had a baby right after I did and she asked me if Melina was sleeping through the night yet. I said that she isn't, but I really can't complain since she only gets up once a night usually to eat. She said that sleeping 8 hours a night helps regulate the blood sugars, add in the fact that I'm getting a cold and the bladder infection and that I've been eating more carbs and she said she thinks that's why they're up. She gave me a few units of insulin in the office (rather she watched me inject myself) and then sent me home with a sliding scale. She said she knew that I had my blood sugars pretty well controlled as they had my blood results from a month ago, so I just have to do the insulin temporarily until I get my numbers back down to where they need to be.

How is it possible to love someone tiny SO much?

Do you ever wonder how it's possible to love someone SO tiny SO much? I love my baby girl SO incredibly much that sometimes I look at her and my heart swells so much that I start to cry. They're total tears of love and joy. I'm just smitten with her. She's so precious and so happy and content and she just smiles and laughs at us. She's such a good baby. She is honestly such a joy to all of us. The kids all love her...she's got Andy and I wrapped around her little fingers. I love to hold her and play with her. It surprises me sometimes to see the bond that Deidra has with her too. Deidra loves to hold her and make her giggle. I worried that it would be hard for Deidra being 9 years older than her...but seeing them together now makes me so happy. All of the kids love her and she smiles at them and watches them at all times. The doctor says that she is trying hard to be a big girl and everyone is always surprised at how alert she is....she's been that way from the moment she was born. If she's awake, she's just taking everything around her in. She's definitely curious. I always tell everyone that she's got 3 sisters and a brother that she wants to go after and do the things that they're doing. She really is such a blessing around here. I just love her so incredibly much. My little sweetheart. Thank you, Abba, for this precious baby girl.

Prayer for my Children

Lord, I lift up my children to you in prayer today. I pray that you will be with Deidra, Emily, and Josiah at school today. Help them to have a blessed day and be with their teachers too as they instruct them throughout the day. I pray that you will bring a Christian friend to each of them so that they will have someone that they can count on throughout the years. I also pray that you will keep them from evil influences. I pray too that you will give them joyful and obedient hearts to learn and to be good influences to others.

I pray for Tracie as she stays here at home with me. She totally doesn't know what to do with herself once her sisters and her brother go off to school. I pray that she will adjust ok and that she will flourish as we work on things and teach her things at home to help her and that she will enjoy her alone play as well. She is a great big sister to Melina and I think they will have a great friendship as well once baby girls gets a big older. Tracie loves to help with her and talk to her too.

I also pray for little Melina. She is such a happy and content baby and such a joy. We all just love her to pieces. Help her to continue to grow well and be healthy and to meet all of her milestones. She is just so precious. She makes us all smile and laugh everyday.

I thank you dear Lord for all of my precious children. I am one very blessed Mommy. I also pray that you will heal Tracie and Melina from their boo-boos this weekend and that they will heal nicely and fast. I thank you that Tracie didn't need stitches either and that we were able to go another route. And I pray that the owie by Melina's eye will heal quickly and that she will quit rubbing it and irritating it.

I also pray that we will be able to get some answers to therapy for the kids, so that they are able to continue getting the services that they need.

Therapy

Trying to get some answers today...I had asked at meet the teacher night if it would be possible for Emmy to have her occupational therapist come up to the school on Mondays during rest time to do her therapy. The teacher didn't think it would be a problem and told me just to send a note. The principal called me last night and said that the school isn't allowed to do that and if they let all the outside providers come in for all the kids that do therapy at children's house and so forth, they'd be losing out on a lot of academic time. I told her that I understood that, but Emmy's been in therapy for almost 2 years and she's about 18 months behind...the only way that our current therapist could continue to see her was if she came up to the school as she's only in our area on Mondays. She said that she talked to the superintendant and he said no and she couldn't go above his decision. I then asked her if there was a way that the school could provide her therapy and she said she couldn't say yes or no. She'd have to be tested and there would have to be a need. Obviously, she hasn't been in therapy this long for her not to need it. It just makes me angry. So, I left a message for the superintendant to call me and let me know what he's willing to do. I guess if it comes down to it, I'll have to pull her out of school every Monday for her to receive her therapy...does that make more sense? or does it make more sense to allow the therapist to enter the school? UGH

Then, Andy went back to work today and said that our therapy company had left a message for him saying that they had a question about Josiah's insurance as they noticed that Medicaid was no longer their primary insurance and they don't work with United Healthcare. Obviously, they still have Medicaid...so I need to find out what to do there too.

My little Melina

She is such a sweet and content baby. She just smiles and coos at us and hearing her little laughs is just so precious. I could sit and watch her all day. She loves to cuddle. She is getting stronger and stronger at holding her head up and she loves to stick her hand and fingers in her mouth to chomp at them. Granted, she doesn't have any teeth yet, but those fingers are always in her mouth. She loves to hold onto our shirts and she tries to eat those too. And if you hold her, she's constantly got your hair in one of her fists too. She doesn't pull it all the time, she just wants to hold it. She will still take the pacifier, but most of the time she spits it out. She is sleeping in her bed at night now too, although she hasn't slept through the night yet. She got sick with a cold and we've had to keep her sleeping elevated at night in her swing or her bouncy seat the last couple of days to help her breathe better. Poor little baby! She really is a good baby. SHe loves to watch her sisters and her brother and tries so hard to be a big girl. She loves to stand up and see everything. We love her so much! She is playing with her toys a bit more too on her play mat and in her bouncy seat. She is batting at them and trying to pull on them. I love to watch her!

Deidra got a golden ticket

Deidra got a golden ticket at school today for helping Emmy get to where she needed to go. She really is such a great big sister. I know the littles get to her sometimes with getting into her stuff and not wanting to give her personal space sometimes, but she really is so great with them. I tucked her into bed and told her how proud I was of her and that I thought that she was a wonderful big sister. She loves her siblings that's for sure.

Josiah's First Day of Pre-K

Today is Monday and it was my first day of school. I felt good. I wore my dinosaur shirt. For lunch at school, I ate chicken and fruit. My teacher's name is Mrs. L. My friend Noah is in my class. The first thing we did was color. Then we sang songs. The part of the day I liked the best was when we read a big book. But I did not like having to wait a long time to be picked up by Mommy. When it was time to go home I felt glad because I wanted to eat. Tomorrow, I will go to school again!

Emily's First Day of Kindergarten

Today is Monday and it was my first day of school. I felt happy. I wore my butterfly shirt. For breakfast I ate cereal and toast. After that I was taken to school by the bus. My teacher's name is Mrs. D. My friend the boy in the stripe shirt is in my class. The first thing we did was color. Then we read stories. The part of the day I liked the best was when we colored. But I did not like the stories. When it was time to go home I felt good because I wanted to get a drink. Tomorrow I will go to the treasure box!

Melina and sunburn

Melina and I sat outside for awhile in the shade watching the little kids play and Daddy and Grandpa building the barn. We really weren't out there long but I noticed that Melina was getting a little pink in the face. She has a tendency to do that when we go outside, but after we go inside it goes away. I just thought that she needed to get out of the heat for awhile. Well, that night we noticed that she got her first sunburn...on the left side of her face a little bit. Poor baby! Mommy feels horrible!

Melina slept in her crib!

My Melina slept in her crib all night. We had slowly been trying to get her used to sleeping in her crib a little at a time. Last night, was the first night she's slept in her crib all night long. I had to keep getting up and putting her pacifier in her mouth for her a few times in the middle of the night, but once she had it she'd go right back to sleep. And of course, she woke up and wanted her middle of the night feeding as well like usual...but she did great!

Tracie and the ER

My father-in-law and Andy were building the barn and Melina and I were sitting outside watching them while the littles were outside playing. Tracie swings herself on the swingset by swinging on her stomach. She hurt herself by falling forward and doing a face plant in the dirt while she was swinging forward. She started crying and had a bloody nose. Andy took her inside to wash her up and she came back outside a few minutes later. I noticed that she still had some blood coming out of her nose, so I took her back inside to clean her up again when I noticed that she had blood puddling in her mouth on the bottom. That's when I noticed the big bash in the inside of her lower lip. It looked pretty bad and I told Andy I was going to take her into the ER to make sure she didn't need stitches. Triage thought she was going to need a couple of stitches so they sent us to the ER clinic. The nurse checked to make sure she didn't have any loose teeth and we got the all clear there. The nurse practitioner came in to check her over and she wound up giving me 2 options...one to do stitches...two to let it heal on it's own and do a course of antibiotics. She told me the mouth is the fastest healing on the body and it would get better in 2-3 days. I didn't want to traumatize her with the stitches as it took me a long time to get her or her sister to go into a hospital/doctor's office without trying to run out the door anytime we got in the door....so I opted to go for the antibiotic route. She got a popsicle for being so brave and we did our discharge paperwork and came back home. Motrin around the clock for pain and antibiotics twice a day.

Melina's teething

Andy met me at the doctor's office and took the littles home while I stayed with Melina at the doctor's office. I guess it all worked out as my father-in-law arrived a few minutes after he got home. :-)

Anyway, Melina's ears were fine but the doctor noticed that she's trying to get her bottom two front teeth. She's been drooling and blowing bubbles lately and I had been feeling around in there, but not feeling anything. I know babies can start teething awhile before any teeth show up, but I was shocked when she said that it was the bottom two front teeth because you can't tell from the top of her gums. She showed me where the gums were flat in the front and told me that's how you can tell that they're getting teeth in those areas. Learn something new everyday as I never knew how to look from the bottom of the gum line...now I do. :-) So, I went and got some teething tablets and we give her some infant's tylenol when she's really fussy too and that is helping. The teething tablets helped her to sleep as well when I first gave them to her as she had been really restless. Glad it's not an ear infection...but I did feel a little dumb that I didn't realize that she was just teething. A friend of mine said "you didn't major in mind reading...it's ok." That's true...she can't talk yet, so I didn't really know. It's all good. :-)

Oh, and we found out that she's 11 lbs now. She's doubled her birth weight. YEAH!

UGH

My father-in-law is in the process of driving down here and should be here in a few hours. Trying to do last minute decluttering and laundry and the littles are flipping/flopping/badgering each other/anything they can do to push each other's buttons. I gave Josiah some little gadget to keep him busy and while it kept him occupied for a bit, now all I'm hearing is "I can't do it." Anyway, Melina has been really fussy all day long. I thought maybe she was constipated but she pooped a whole lot and has continued to be fussy. I went to feed her and she shoved the bottle out of her mouth and she's been rubbing at her ear. I'm wondering now if it's an ear infection and since it's Friday, I didn't want her to suffer through the weekend, so I called to see about getting her in. They're going to see her this afternoon. I went to call Andy to let him know what was going on and he says "I'm talking to my Dad, I'll call you back." So, while I'm on hold he's trying to call me back, but I was waiting to hear our appt time. So, I call him back and finally tell him that I think Melina's got another ear infection and he blew up at me. He's busy, he hasn't stopped all day, and now he's got to leave to meet me at the doctors. Blah, blah, blah. I told him that I didn't ask him to meet me (nevermind the fact that he was going to leave early if his dad got here anyway) and that I was capable of taking them by myself. Then,he changed his tune and said that it's just been one of those days and that he wasn't promising me anything, but that he'd do his best to meet me there. It's funny how I wasn't having the greatest afternoon, but I was semi-holding myself together and I got that one little attitude from him and now I'm on the verge of tears. So, either way I'm going to bring them all with me to the doctor. It's always hectic when I have to bring them all with me...I just have to prepare myself for that ahead of time. I can do it though...I've done it before many times.

Meet the Teacher Night

I'd say it was a success. It was a little crazy and hectic with having to go to 2 different schools and then going to 3 different classrooms and filling out papers and bringing all their supplies. We went to Josiah's school first and he was really mad that he didn't get to stay and play and Tracie threw a fit that she couldn't get her picture taken like Josiah. I don't know how many times that we had told the kids that we were just there for Josiah so that he could meet his teacher. I felt bad for her as she missed the cut off to be able to go to school this year by 13 days, but honestly she's not ready for pre-k anyway so the extra year will be good for her. I was glad to see that a friend of mine's little boy will also be in josiah's class. I also told the teacher that he was on ADHD meds, but that he's still a bit on the wild side. Reading over the clasroom discipline policy with how they earn colors, I think he's going to have some struggles, but we'll just have to see how he does.

Then, we went over to Deidra and Emily's school. We went to Emmy's room first and Josiah and Tracie completely fell apart in there because they couldn't play with everything and they couldn't sit at a desk and they kept touching everyone else's paperwork. And Josiah started yelling that he wanted Emmy's sucker that was in her welcome packet. It got a bit hectic for a few minutes. Then, I had a bit of stress because they didn't know if Emmy could ride the bus on the first day with Deidra as we hadn't filled out a bus application when we did her enrollment paperwork. I told them that when she went to pre-k they just sent the kindergarten enrollment form home and I had been in the hospital at the time, so we just filled it out and didn't know that there was more to it. We just turned that form back into the school. Thankfully, when I went to talk to the office they said that she could ride the first day as the bus office was about 2 weeks behind with paperwork anyway. Thank the Lord! Emmy really didn't seem all that excited while we were there, so it'll be interesting to see how she does for a whole day this year. I know she really struggled last year just doing half days. But, hopefully she'll do ok. Her teacher seemed pretty nice.

Then, we went to Deidra's room. She was excited to have some students that she had in class last year in her class again. I think she had about 4 kids in her class that were in there last year, so that will be good for her. She dropped her supplies off, I filled out the paperwork and the bus contract and she found her locker in the room, she introduced herself to the teacher and we talked about how the kids would get to the bus as I was worried about Emily finding her way to the correct bus and thought she'd feel better (she gets scared easily) if Deidra could take her. How they do it though I think will work out.

We came home with 3 huge packets to fill out for each child and I told Andy that he was going to help me. :-) Josiah and Emily each got a letter to open on the first day of school. I thought that was so cute. I am excited for them to be able to go and learn!

My blessings...

Thank you, Abba, for all of the blessings in my life. I thank you so much for my family, my friends, my beautiful house, my pets, I have so much to be thankful for. I know I can get caught up in things sometimes when I feel overwhelmed and I complain a lot. I need to take more time to see the positives that are going on and pray more about the things that I cannot change. I just wanted to say a quick thank you this morning for all of my blessings that you have given me.

Boundaries and Respect

I told Andy the other night that after listening to myself one day that I really think one of our major problems is the kids lack of respect for every one elses things and with each other's personal space. I don't know how many times I can say "don't touch that if it doesn't belong to you, we don't have to sit on top of each other, back up, got out of each other's faces, you don't have to be right on top of someone to talk to them" just stuff like that at all times. And it's constant. We were talking about this somewhat in behavior therapy last week as well and I just said that sometimes it can be really hard. If I sit down, they all have to zoom right there. It doesn't seem to matter if I try and give them oodles of attention or not, they just zoom right in. I love them to pieces but I do need my own space sometimes too. The therapist mentioned that she understood that we have 3 with varying attachment issues and she knew that had to be hard as they always were trying to get our attention and affection. And of course, they have no fear of strangers either which I don't know what to do about. It doesn't matter how many times I've told them that we don't open up the door without Mommy or Daddy or Deidra being right there, Josiah will open the door to someone that we don't know. Granted, I know boundaries is really something a lot of kids who are/have been in foster care struggle with and so I've patiently been hanging in there, but it's just really difficult sometimes. But, I think this is one of our major issues so I'm going to give them a goal to work on this month with keeping our hands and feet to ourselves and I also made a rule for the kids that if Melina is laying on her baby blanket on the floor that they cannot be on that blanket or that will earn them a time out. She loves them to death and they love her too and I'm glad for that, but anytime I put the baby on the floor, Tracie has to sit right on the baby blanket and she puts her butt right up against the baby's head. And Emma will lay down on the floor and put her face right in the baby's to talk to her. Not to mention, Josiah wants to be helpful but he crams the pacifier in the baby's mouth and makes her gag on it. Trying to teach him to be gentle, but I've told him that he has to ask now before he does it and I had to do the same thing with Tracie for similar things that were happening. I'm glad that they want to help, but we have to start working more on personal space as I really do see that it's becoming a huge issue. They wander around and sneak off into Deidra's room or our room or my bathroom and there's no reason to be in anyone else's rooms but their own. Too many things of Deidra's have gotten broken lately as well because they are constantly trying to get in there and won't leave her things alone. So, we have some things to work on. I pray that God will help them understand more as we work on it as well.

Behavior Charts

I made the kids good behavior charts with goals to work on. They get 1 goal per month and they earn a sticker for making their goal each day. For every 5 stickers they earn, they get a reward out of the treasure box. At the end of the month, if they get at least 20 stickers on their chart, they get to go to Walmart and pick out a new toy that's $5-10.

Anyway, I gave Josiah a goal to work on not having any accidents and staying dry every day since he really had some troubles with that and regressed with his potty training when I was in the hospital before I had Melina. I was so proud of how well he's done. He earned 23 stickers and got to go to Walmart and he picked out a Toy Story play phone. The girls have been fighting him over it and he's even doing well with sharing with them. He does much better with sharing than Emma seems to do which shocks me somewhat, but I'm proud of him for being so good about it. he still has his moments, but it's nice to see him sharing. He even wanted to get them a present while we were in Walmart which I thought was incredibly sweet, but I told him that they have to work on earning their rewards. I'm getting ahead of myself...back to the kids goals.

Deidra had a goal to work on not sucking her thumb anymore. She was only able to earn 10 stickers. But, it's a start and I'll take it. I'm going to give her another month or so to work on it and see if she can do it...if not, I'm going to bring her in and have her fitted at the orthodontist for a device.

Tracie had a goal to work on not throwing any fits over having to do her therapy sessions. She was able to earn 8 stickers. I'm going to give her a bit of a break and then we're going to attack this one again.

Emma had a goal to be quiet in her room in the mornings when she woke up. She was able to earn 12 stickers. We'll attack this one again in another month or so.

Melina got her first bite of real food today!

She started rice cereal this morning. She seemed to like it and was even opening her mouth for more. She didn't quite know what to do with it at first, but she did eat it. She started smiling so big while she was eating. We even put her in her bumbo seat to eat and Andy didn't think she was going to be able to sit up in there, but she did really well. Mommy is so proud of her! I can't believe that she is 16 weeks old today. It's gone by so fast!

54-day novena

We've been dealing with some things with Josiah for a long time and a friend of my Mom's called me up last weekend and said that my Mom had shared with her the struggles that I was having with Josiah and my worries and she suggested that the 3 of us (her, myself, and my Mom) pray a 54-day rosary novena for Josiah. She started it on Sunday and Mom and I started it on Monday. I've been praying for him on a lot of things and I had a small breakthrough with him yesterday. He's never really shown remorse when he misbehaves or hurts someone. He asked to say the dinner prayer last night and I let him go ahead and say it and he apologized for getting sick and throwing up on the carpet. I told him that was ok and that he didn't need to say sorry for that. He couldn't help it. He went on to say that he was thankful for his family and that he liked Mommy, Daddy, Emma, Tracie, Melina, and Deidra. He said he was sorry for being bad and for not listening to Mommy and Daddy and for hurting Emma earlier that day. It just made me smile...an answered prayer. :-)

Frustrations

I've been trying to give the first half hour of my morning to Jesus. It started out with some struggles as the kids didn't want to cooperate with me at all, but I knew it was something that I really needed to do and I stuck to it. It's not perfect by any means 2-3 weeks later, but it's gotten a lot better.

Anyway, I've been listening to Joyce Meyer everyday on M-F from 7-7:30 and she's been helping so much. God is definitely telling me some things. Joyce was doing a study on living with our frustrations this week. She said that we can't help some of the things that happen to us and we can't make people do things, but we have a choice on how we react to things. She said we need to start praying more before and asking the Lord for help before we get so frustrated that we're angry and we need to start asking Him for what we need to get through it. I've started to do that and I see that it truly does make a difference and I don't get to that frustrated level so easily.

She also said to take a look at your life and see the triggers that make us frustrated. She said maybe there's some things or people that need to be pruned out of your life for awhile. We had some drama from one of our birthmoms this week and I saw how one day I was totally peaceful and the stuff with her started and it totally stole my joy and I was snippy because of it. Joyce's message spoke to me and I prayed for her and for the situation and I have peace ignoring her now. I've said all I'm going to say on the subject to her and she just doesn't want to accept it. All I can do is pray for her now and let God handle the rest. And I need to let it go and quit letting her try to manipulate me into doing what she wants. I'm ok with that now. I have a choice on how I'm going to react to it and I'm not going to let her get to me anymore.

I've been frustrated dealing with some of the behaviors of my children as well and feeling like a failure because we can't seem to get past some of them...my kids just do them over and over and over. Well, Joyce says we're not the potter...God is. We can't change anyone, only God can do that. I finally realized that we can discipline and talk to them about it and stay consistent, but that I have to pray for them more often as well and let God make them into the people that God intended for them to be and that He will bring good to all things.

The other thing that she said that really struck me is that sometimes we just need to hang on the vine for awhile and let God work with us and feed us and we need to quit doing so much. I always feel guilty for not doing more, so just hearing that made sense and helped. It's ok to take time out and listen to what God wants for us rather than feeling like we need to do this, that, and the other thing for everyone else. :-)

Melina graduated to size 1 diapers!

She wore her last newborn sized diaper today. She officially graduated to size 1 diapers. I think she's getting big, but everyone else always tells me how little she is. I think she's just going to be petite like Deidra was when she was a baby. She's outgrowing her newborn clothes and starting to wear more of her 0-3 month clothes. She'll be 16 weeks on Monday, I can hardly believe it!

Houston, we have our first roll over!

Melina rolled from back to front! I've been trying to get her to do front to back, but Andy laid her down on her back tonight and she just rolled over. Ok, if that's how you want to do it, you just go for it! I'm sure front to back will come soon enough. She is such the little sponge right now and she just loves to watch her big sisters and big brother. She is talking and laughing and is generally a very happy and content baby. We are just so blessed! She brings so much joy to all of us!

Josiah and His Giant Goose Bump

Josiah was really struggling with not listening in the morning and I went to put him in time out and he didn't want to go. I got up and took his hand and went to lead him to the time out spot. He picked his feet up from underneath him at the same time he decided to launch himself backwards to get out of going to time out. I was holding the baby at the same time and didn't have the greatest grip on him. He hit his head on the linoleum and started crying. He doesn't feel pain all that well, so I knew it must have really hurt. I turned to put the baby down and he started yelling "I have a bump on my head, I have a bump on my head!" I went to look and was freaked out at the giant bump that he had on the back of his head. I called Andy to see if he thought I should bring him into the ER and he said just to watch him and if he vomited that I should bring him in. Well, my friend is an ER nurse, so I texted her the picture and told her what happened and she pretty much told me the same thing and said that since it was swelling outward that was a good sign and that a dent is more concerning. I decided to call his pediatrician's office while I was waiting for her text and the receptionist said that if he was acting fine that he was probably all right, but just to watch him for dizziness and if he started getting sick but that she'd have the nurse call me back. It was a good thing that it wasn't an emergency I guess as the nurse never called me back until 6 at night. The incident happened around 9 am. She apologized when I told her that and said that they had been super busy all day and she was just getting to her phone messages. I never have had problems with that office, so I understand...just glad that other people were around to advise me I guess. Then again, I knew too that if he started acting unusual or getting sick I would have gotten him to the ER to be seen.